It's Official

Well, it's official, Tigger is my favorite dog. I decided to make it official this morning when I looked down at his ever watchful face. He loves to monitor computer use. Plus, yesterday mischief pounced on my foot giving me a big fat bruise that hurts really bad. (This is on top of peeing on my Physics textbook and deficating on my white pants.) I love Rommie, she has the best personality for a 13 pound dog. The only problem is that she's the biggest dog I've ever lived with. My guess is in the neighborhood of 100 pounds. For anyone who knows dogs, she's a Bernese Mountain Dog. She loves people and loves to be petted. When new people come though she barks at them just as much as my mom's little Quinn, well more now that we've trained Quinn not to. That big, low, gruff bark would make me thing she's about to eat me, not welcoming me in. I'll admit that it's pretty scary to have three dogs rush you barking to beat the band. I always feel like apologizing to new people that come over for the first time. Tigger, although he does bark, he quickly retreats when he finds out it's someone he doesn't know. Plus, he follows you quietly around the house. He's supposed to be a herding dog, not a people dog, but I think that since he's never been around any sort of herd he decided that the people are the herd and he follows you around just to make sure where you are. He can't jump really, but he's sneeky enough to get the food off the counter. Anyway, he's my favorite.

WAY too much time

Well, as you all know my husband left on Wednesday for school and I'm not going to leave for another few days. On top of that my in-laws, whom we've been living with this summer, are out of town until tomorrow evening. I've been alone all week (OK so only three days, but it's been a LONG three days.) Plus, I had been waiting around to try and get a hold of the proctor for my test. Good news, I took the test today which means I'm on my way to the next one. Anyway, I've been bouncing around this house alone with the three dogs for a while now and I decided that I have way too much time on my hands here. I don't have anyone to take up my thoughts but me. Sometimes that's good, but not when you're lonely and you want someone else around. Grrr. I realized I needed a distraction when I sent out five emails in one day. (That may not seem like much to most of you, but I tend to keep my volume of emails at a minimum.) When I want to hear from people I just send out emails kind of like casting out the bait and then check my computer way more than I should just to see who I hooked. Today I was delighted to recieve an email from the lovely Mary. It was good to hear from her.

Tomorrow is my friend's wedding so that should be good. Plus, it's Saturday and my mom wont be working. That means I can hang out with her. It's so funny, but next to my husband my mom really has been my best friend here this summer. I love to hang out with her. She's so funny. Today we went to Luna's for lunch. It was delicious.

Two Inch Holes

Well, my husband is officially in our new apartment and moving all our stuff in too. No, I'm not with him because my high school best friend is getting married on Saturday and I wanted to be here for that. I'm following my husband to Corvallis a week from Friday. (A random thought totally unrelated to this post is where did my summer go? I think I lost a week in there somewhere and I can't seem to get it back.)

On Tuesday my Father-in-law and Brother-in-law thoughtfully decided to help us move our sofa up from the basement. This is where the first of the two inch holes appeared. They put a two inch hole in the fabric of my sofa. I was DEVISTATED. I called all my girlfriends all my female relatives (except Katie not because I don't love her, but because she never answers her phone. I wrote her an email instead). My mom luckily found some fabric in Boise that is the same pattern only smaller. I think the way we're planning on fixing it will make it seem not noticable at all.

Tuesday night we packed all our belongings up in the U-Haul. Turns out that now I'm married I own a whole ton of things. Looking at all our home furniture made me feel really grown up. I own furniture! Sure it's not the best furniture, but it's mine, well, ours. But still!

Wednesday morning came and my husband changed the tires/wheels on his Jeep (yes, you do need more than one set of these for different activities). He checked the owner's manual for his Jeep to see how to hook it up to the tow dolly on the back of the U-Haul. He did EXACTLY as the manual told him to. Well, this is where the second two inch hole appeared. Turns out the manual was wrong and the engine EXPLODED just after he left town. Yes, it ruined the engine. Pieces of metal went flying and that's what cut the two inch hole in his oil pan and his rear wheels locked up and the U-Haul overheated. It was a real mess.

Because I was the one that was responsible for us getting the auto insurance in the first place I was also in charge of calling in the claim. Hopefully the insurance will pay for the damage and my dad says he and his buddy will put in a used one he found for only $800. That way we can get the check from insurance and avoid having to pay the deductable.

Anyway, this move is becoming a bit of a mess now. My husband took my car down to school with him and left the Jeep here for me to figure out. I was planning on driving my car down to school so unless they can fix the Jeep pronto I have no car to get to school in. Mom and dad say it will get figured out though so I'm trying not to worry about it too much until after I hear from progressive.

Green and Sparkly

Well, to interrupt the commentary on physics I thought I'd let everyone know of the new vaccuum my husband and I recieved this weekend! My mom and dad were at Costco and saw a little vaccuum and, remembering me telling her I didn't have one, my mom bought us one! Isn't that GREAT?! It's just a little inexpensive one that I'm sure wont last for a long time, but the fact of the matter is that it's ours! It is green and sparkly and has a telescoping handle for easy storage! Plus, it doesn't have any bags to empty. When you vaccuum you can see all the stuff you're picking up! I'm such a dork, but I love this little wonder! It made my day! It was a nice rest from physics to put it together and try it out! I brought it home to show my husband and he said, "nice." I'm not quite sure why I love this so much. I mean if my husband had said he bought me a present and it turned out to be a vaccuum I would not be happy at all. As the matter stands right now it's a present for BOTH of us and I'm elated! We needed one and I love it! YEAH!

PS. Should I really be this excited over a new vaccuum? I don't know and I don't really care.

Day 2

Just so everyone knows, my wonderful sister sent me a link to a site that is basically some professor teaching me about the subject I was having trouble with. Athough it was very helpful and I was incredibly greatful it still did not help me answer the stupid problem. I came to the point where I decided that since it wasn't a question that had to be graded anyway I would just skip it and try to move on with my life (something that is very hard for me to do when I haven't figured out a problem that I SHOULD know). I have learned quite a bit today, but I think I'm still going to need another day to review the problems I did today and try and complete them in one go. Today I had to start each question over three times before I could get them right. Stupid algebra and physics. Anyway, at least I'm moving in the positive direction. Plus, today I was in a better mood about my life, which you wouldn't think had any relevance to physics questions, but it did somehow.

Physics

If any of you were wondering whether or not it is a good idea to try and teach yourself physics let me inform you of my attempt at it. I'm getting pretty frustrated at this point. Most of the material is fairly straightforward, but then there's always 1 or 2 sections per chapter that I'm just confused about. The chapter started off with an entire paragraph to tell me that emf means battery or something that produces a potential difference (to all of those that actually know physics and that I'm totally oversimplifying the situation, I only need this class to graduate and thus don't really care) Today the confusing section is the "branch-loop method" of solving problems in DC circuts. Also I'm struggling through the idea of RC circuts. I hope I figure this out soon, like today, because I need to be taking a test over this chapter and two more by next week! YIKES!

One of the things I think I missed the most about my home when I moved out for my freshman year in college was the music. My mom and sister and me dancing in the kitchen, my dad breaking out into song in the middle of the grocery store, or the little game of word association into song that my family plays with my dad that rubbed off on me. I love them all! I wanted that musical spirit to be part of my new home and family with my husband. I was worried, but honestly now I have no idea why. My husband is the one that will sing to EVERY song he knows on the radio. And even now, as I'm typing this I can hear my father-in-law in the kitchen making up a song. I think it's about one of his dogs. Probably Romie since that's his favorite.

Anyway, the other night I was really sick after eating dinner and I went down and laid on our bed. My stomach hurt so much it had cramped up and I was sitting in a ball in the middle of the bed. My sweet husband came down and was sitting with me trying to think of something he could do for me. I told him I wanted him to sing me a song while I was laying there. (I'll usually do that or have him read something in Spanish, I love the way that sounds.) He started to sing the Happy Birthday song, but I stopped him and told him to sing a hymn, since I figured those were songs he would know the words to mostly. He found his spanish hymnal and started singing. On the songs I knew the words to I started to sing along. Then he got me the english hymnal so I could get all the songs he wanted to sing. Sometimes we would sing together in english sometimes I would have him sing in Spanish alone. We would try to harmonize on some songs. We spent over an hour just sitting there singing. I don't know when my stomach stopped hurting because we kept singing for long after that. He doesn't even mind when I get the giggles because our "harmonizing" is pretty gross sounding sometimes. I love that man! He is so fun! He loves me so much!

Aargh

So I was thinking about health insurance, as I'm still sick and wondering about such things. I looked on the OSU website. When my husband told me that OSU charged $400 a term for ONE person for health insurance I thought he must have got it wrong. I went on just to check and it turns out he did get it wrong. It is $554 a PERSON a TERM. That means I would have to pay that much just to cover me for three months! That's crazy! The only way I would pay that were if I were preg-o or had a chronic disease!

T v. W

Well, I've been married a little over a month and have run full force into a huge difference between the two families. Here is the story:

I got sick on Saturday. I told my husband I wasn't feeling well in the morning during breakfast. He still really REALLY wanted to go to the gun & outdoors show so I caved and said I'd go with him. (Don't get me started about that last sentence.) Anyway, we went with his parents and left around noon. John, my father-in-law, decided he'd get us lunch and when we stopped at the place I was so sick to my stomach that the smell of the Mexican food was torture! (Probably a bit of an overstatement.) So everyone else ate while I just sat there. We went to the fairgrounds and found out that it was NOT as my husband had though and gun & outdoors show but merely a gun show. Since nobody was REALLY interested in paying the money just to go look at guns we decided to bag the whole idea. I was very grateful thinking that I would be able to return home soon. John had the alternate activity of going to look at the Saline (I'm not sure how to spell that one), which is some type of Mustang. I was perfectly happy with that since I figured it would be quicker than the gun show anyway. Little did I know what was ahead of me. I got SO SICK on the way to Coeur d'Alene that we had to pull over at the first gas station he could see so I could throw up in the restroom. Then we STILL MADE two other stops after having established how sick I was. I was so very upset at this I just made myself sicker. Plus, the motion of the car was making things in my stomach even worse. I was really glad at this point I had not eaten any of the Mexican food at lunch. I am still feeling a little under the weather six days later. I have calmed down and just realized that the reason my in-laws are acting like this is a basic philisophical difference between our families. I thought it was just because they didn't really think I WAS sick. I thought it might be because they didn't CARE that I was sick. No, no. The reason is that in my family the focus on a sick person is making them feel the best they can while on the road to recovery. You make sure they have enough blankets, you give them time to sleep and make sure they have the food they need. In my husband's family the focus is on making you feel as normal as possible to help you focus on BEING recovered. Therefore they treat you as much like you are not sick as they can. This means they don't really check in on you (this included my husband for a while) or anything of the sort. While neither way is wrong it certainly did hurt my feelings until I understood that I had to ask for any help I wanted. Now I ask and they are more than happy to help me. What a fiasco! Next time I must remember that I'm not with my parents before I get my feelings hurt.

PS. I can't wait to be better. I'm so tired of being sick at the moment.

Pure Green Comfort

Just so everyone knows, my mom and dad are getting a new leather sofa this afternoon. The important part of that is that my Sweetie and I got the old one. It is pure green comfort. We moved it into the basement and for some reason Daniel thought I could carry half of it from the driveway around the house to the back basement door without needing to put it down. He's crazy. I got a rug burn on my wrist. And we had to take the door off the hinges to get it inside. Now it is set up under some windows and I love it.

Pretty OK

Just so everyone knows this post will be mushy.

My life is just one rolling stress ball of things that I have yet to get done. The other day I was particularly wound up about everything. I was worried about having money for school (a big one since we are about $8000 short right now). I was worried about needing to call Brother Shelby to ask for help filling out my FAFSA ( I looked at it with Dan and got physically ill because I have no idea what I'm doing). We don't have a place to live at school, which I shouldn't worry about because we will eventually have one, but we don't right now so I'm a little stressed about that. Also, I haven't yet got everything moved into our place in the basement-everytime I go down there I just get overwhelmed with all the stuff we have ALL OVER the place. We still needed to go return things at Macy's and also we have a four page list of people to send thank you notes to. I have to make sure I have everything for work. I have to go to the bank. And on top of that I had just done my first real day of working on my Independent Study physics course. Just so you know my goal is to get it done in 7 weeks and now I'm thinking that maybe when I made that goal I was INSANE. Well, I was working on physics when Dan came home and we had dinner. John, his dad, had been asking me about all our financial stuff and it just made me realize that we really have no idea what's going on there. It would be nice just to know, you know? So I was pretty upset by the time that dinner was over. Dan said that instead of going down and cleaning the basement or going to the bank or checking anything off my list we should just go and watch a movie in the basement together. I am so glad that he did that. I just had time to relax and be with him. At one point in the dark room I turned and looked at him and my love for him just washed right over me so strong. I love how calm he is! I love his sense of humor! I love his eyes! They are so beautiful. Did you know he has a freckle on his ear? I love that too! He works so hard and I know that he loves me too! I love being cuddled next to him and making it so hot that he is sweating buckets. He never says anything about the heat. So I decided that night that I like my husband pretty ok. Boy am I blessed.

Super Powers

I have had a kid in my classes for two weeks now. The first week he went the full day, which includes two classes then a lunch finishing off with two more classes. The second week his mom only signed him up for one class then lunch then the two classes to finish the day. He came into class in the middle of the second week and declared I was his favorite teacher. Then he said, "Do you know why?" I told him no. He responded by saying, "Because this week you made lunch come sooner." I have now found my super power....controlling lunch.

A to Z

I have had TONS of funny things happen at work this week. The only problem is when I get home to write them down I've completely forgotten all of them! DRAT! Anyway, the only thing I can remember right now is from my "Fun From A-Z" class. The other day we were doing the letter V. I asked what begins with V. Apparently none of their parents have made it this far in the alphabet because none of them knew what begins with V. I told them vegetable begins with V. Our project was doing a vegetable garden. The first vegetable we did was a carrot. Because of this they were hooked on the carrot the WHOLE time. I asked them several times, "What does V stand for?" They would all shout back to me, "CARROT!" I was SO nervous when the moms came to pick up their kids. Then while I was walking down to lunch I overheard one mom ask her son, "V is for...?" And he made my heart soar when he said to her, "VEGETABLE!" I was so happy! Nevermind I had heard, "V is for carrot" about a billion times before. At least one kid remembered.

New Insights

Ever since my sisters boyfriend has come on the scene he has been stirring stuff up. First of all he's a really manly man in that he played football and wrestled and recently has had some kickball fame. These are all very masculine things that I'm sure my dad was excited about from the start. On top of that he swing dances, sings (at least for Katie) and, my dad's new favorite, plays the piano. These are things I'm sure my mom loves. So he has been the topic of a few conversations lately, just because of his many talents. The one thing that has really stirred some controversy is his position on Q-tips. He is studying to be an ear doctor of sorts and thus is my personal expert on this topic. He thinks they are the worst invention ever. Nobody should use Q-tips for their ears...ever. I remember a conversation about cotton and ear wax and water hardening like and adobe brick inside of your ear and then you having to have that pulled out. OUCH, and YUCK all at once. Ever since hearing that I have had an internal struggle. I don't really like to live on the edge or do things that I know have a possibility of causing me pain, but I love Q-tips. I hate to have my ears in the wind or the cold or wet. The Q-tips solve that thrid problem. I used to use them everyday after I got out of the shower. When I heard what he had said I stopped using them completely. Cold turkey. In case any of you were wondering it wasn't a will power thing, I just ran out and was too lazy to buy more.
The story gets better because ever since I've come home I've wanted to buy myself some Q-tips. I mentioned this to my husband and the internal struggle turned external when he said, "You remember what Garrett said." So my husband is anti Q-tips as well. Tonight I was unpacking some of my things while moving into our place for a while and I opened a box of bathroom stuff and found a WHOLE BOX of Q-tips unopened. I must have purchased them and shipped them home before having heard of the wax brick that could form in my ear. Now the problem is do I open the box and experience that wonderful feeling of clean? Do I just leave the box there? I'd hate to waiste them! Anyway, I have to go do laundry now.

Starting Out Young

Two funny things happened at work today. A little boy decided that his hair needed to be cut so he cut it. Those scissors we give them wont cut paper at all, but apparently they're great for cutting hair. I was lucky that his mom wasn't mad at all.

The other one has to do with a little boy in my class. Today we made windsocks. We drew on them with markers before putting the foamie pieces and glitter on them. He told me that he had drawn words, but it just looked like a bunch of scribbles to me. Then he asked, "Do you want to know what it says?" I told him sure. So he read from the page (finger pointing along with the scribbles), "Dear Diary, today there were more new kids in my class at school. Love, Brianna" I said that sounded wonderful, but was confused about who Brianna was. He proceeded to take 3 minutes describing Brianna (a six year old girl) in great detail right down to the address she lives at. Then he told me that she was his "girl." I think he's pretty proud of having a girl. It was so cute!

Just to Catch Up

I have so much to write! AHHH! It seems like I can't write it all down! Here's my main thoughts, or at least the ones I think my mom and sister will like.

The Leapord has spots too
Yesterday I again had to explain what freckles are. Here is how the conversation went:
Grant: "What are those brown spots you have?"
Me: "They're freckles."
Grant: "What are freckles. Where do they come from?"
Me: "They're spots you get from the sun."
Grant: "The sun has spots?"
Me: "No. Do you see how in the summer, when you go outside your skin gets darker?"
Grant: "Yeah."
Me: "Well, my skin does that same thing, only in spots."
Grant: "Like a leapord?"
Me: "Yeah, I have spots like the leapord."

Marital Bliss
I have wanted to do a sort of post wedding/honeymoon wrap-up, but now that I'm here sitting thinking about it I'm not really sure what to say. As far as the actual day goes, I felt so blessed. So many people were there to support me. I felt so loved. I also kinda felt bad because I didn't get a chance to talk to everyone I wanted to. I wish I had had more time in particular to talk to my sister, and my two friends Heather and Mary. I miss them already.
My honeymoon was so much fun. We stayed in a cabin up in Canada about 40 minutes from Victoria in a resort called point on point. It was fun. Dan let me do all the touristy sightseeing things I wanted to including Miniature world which boasts the world's smallest WORKING saw mill. We didn't get to see it working though because of fire regulations. We just watched a video under the diarama. We also went to the Royal BC Museum, which is reputed to be the Canadian Smithsonain. It only had about 5 rooms in it total.
I also found out how inclredibly funny my husband is! Since we've been married its like this wall has come down and I know him so much more (I'm not just talking about sex here for those of you perverts) He is so much fun to be around and I love him so much. He is my hero.
My sister is the best ever. Everyday she amazes me. I wish I could write more now, but my train of thought has just dropped off because my sister just called me on the cell phone. Maybe I'll finish this later. Probably not.

Word Scramble

Yesterday in my clay and construction class I decided that we could work on learning shapes and cutting by making a moblie and hanging the shapes on it. I started out the class saying, "Who knows what a mobile is?" Evan raises his hand but it too excited to wait for me to call on him because he blurts out, "I know the batmobile!" Then Katie says, "Yeah! And there's a snowmoblie!" Then Nicholas says, "We're gonna make CARS!"

Boy the shapes mobile was a let down after that!

Two Pats on the Butt and a 72 Hour Kit

In case you were wondering, today was indeed my first day of my most favorite summer job ever. I am back to teaching art classes! YEAH! Here are the highlights of my first day back:

• It is so great to see the little kids that I have been teaching in previous years come back and recognize me!
• I noticed today that when you take roll and call out a little kid's name and they raise their hand to tell you that they're here, they also smile a great big smile-even the shy ones. It's just great to see.
• I forgot that my butt was the perfect height for little kids to tap to get my attention.
• A little barely 3 year old girl in my class was having troubles getting down the stairs today so the 5 year old girl walked back up to hold her hand and help her down without any prompting by anyone. It was so precious!

In other news, tonight Daniel and I went in for an interview with our bishop. He had previously talked to Dan about having an "emergency plan." I told him that when the bishop asked we should just say, "Don't worry we have our 20 pounds of wheat storage." Dan thought we should say, "We're living in the basement so we don't need to have ladders to get out of the windows in case of a fire." It was so funny to me that the bishop was planning on our failure! Anyway, we went and the interview was actually pretty good. All positive. He didn't even bring up the emergency plan. I am SO EXCITED to be home, and to be working, and to be getting married! I just love my life right now! YEAH!

Reflections

I drove home this weekend with my cousin. She is so funny! I didn't even know until I had to spend 10 hours with her in the car non-stop. We stopped at a rest stop on the way home because I was so full of pee I thought it might come out my eyes. We went into the "restroom" that had wet floors and those airplane style toilets. You know the ones with the flap that opens to let the waste out of the bottom and use the least amount of water possible. She was in the stall next to mine when she yells, "Ahh!" After we got out I asked her what happened. She said that as she flushed the toilet the flapp opened, the water sprayed the stuff down and then the flap shut, WHILE THE WATER WAS STILL SPRAYING! Needless to say the water sprayed all over her foot! GROSS! In other news a friend of mine just got home from his mission this weekend. He left the summer after our freshman year in college. The question in my mind is how the heck did time all of the sudden jump forward? I went to his farewell! It's too bad I didn't get to go to his homecoming. He always was an amazing person and I'm sure he'll end up doing simply amazing things in his life! Anyway my leaving BYU and starting a new life away from everything I've known for the past three years has really given me a lot of stuff to reflect on. His homecoming hit this idea home to me in more concrete terms. It seems ironic to me that as my friends are coming home and back to school, I'm leaving it. Now I can't be sure of this, but I think I've changed tremendously over the past three years. Not that I've changed per se, but that I've grown up. My freshman year in college I was so naive in my understanding of things. I kind of regret how people viewed me after that year. I always kinda felt misunderstood. I realized this past month that the way people saw me that year was a direct result of what I let them see. They say that you can change who you are from high school to college, which is only sort of true. You can change what you let people see and percieve about you. You will always be you deep down inside, it is my opinion that doesn't really change. You can change the ficade though. When I decided that I wanted to be friends with someone I let them see in me what I thought they would like the most. Unfortunately I showed the lesser aspects of my character. The ones that were superficial. Somehow I went from one of the best good girls in my high school to one of the "easier" girls in college. (That's in quotes because I went to BYU and the general public would never think anything I had done was "easy") The reason that happened was that I showed that side of myself to the people around me and once you are percieved that way it is really easy to act that way too. I never told any of them how I didn't kiss a guy my entire high school carreer. I never told them that until my senior year the parties at my house were all girls. I never told them that I was always "one of the boys" with all the guys I knew. I never told them about telling boys I wouldn't date them until I was 16 and once I was that age they had stopped asking. Don't let this post make you think I didn't love my freshman year in college. I look back on it with fond memories. I think the people I met there are some of the most amazing people. I can see them being the future leaders of businesses and organizations, families and nations. I just wish I had shown them something better of myself. Now I have someone that thinks the world of me! He thinks I'm better than anyone else. His perception of me is so precious and dear to my heart. I realize now that is because I showed him everything about me. If he doesn't know everything about my past, he certainly knows all the parts of my personallity that were created from those. I am so excited to be with someone forever that loves me so much and that thinks I'm so amazing! So as scary as moving into the great unknown is, I am so glad to know that I will get to do it with him by my side. With someone that thinks so highly of you, how could you not work to achieve the best?

Infernal Tapping

I'm in the library writing a review of this paper and the girl opposite from me has been tapping on the enter key for the last 5 minutes. She has ONLY been hitting the enter key. Over and over and over. If she doesn't stop soon I may have to move. I just have a lot done on my work already. Oh good, she stopped. Now I don't have to kill her. Earlier today this guy just flipps open his cell phone and starts talking on it. Did I mention I'M IN THE LIBRARY?! I stared at him without even blinknig until he said to the person on the phone, "Oh sorry, I'm trying to be quiet because I'm in the library." Did he get up and go to the talking section? NO! Did he stop talking on his phone? NO! Grrrrr.

About to Cry

This is safe to write on this post because my Sweetie doesn't ever read this. I don't even think he really knows what a blog is really.

Today I got him the second half of my present to him. The first half of the wedding present is a nice Seiko watch. It's just beautiful. I ordered it at overstock so a watch that would usually cost $150 ended up only costing $50.

The second half of the present requires a little more explination. He went to Chile on his mission and had a nice Spanish Book of Mormon complete with that requisite leather case that all South American missionaries seem to come home with. A couple of months ago he lost it. Since then he's moved twice and it's still missing. I was talking to his mom and she talked about how much he really liked to use them to study rather than his english ones. I thought it might be nice to get him a Spanish set of scriptures. I know I can't replace his mission scriptures, but at least he could use them to study or something.

Today I happened to get an hour break between work and class so I went and purchased the set. They are black leather bound and I had his name embossed on the covers. I was so excited to not only have found a present I thought he would like, but also to be able to check that off my list. I didn't want to just leave them in my car (I've had scriptures and other items stolen from my car so I'm pretty paranoid about what I leave in there now) so I put them in my backpack. Well, on my way back from the store I dropped by Wendy's and got their delicious Mandarin Chicken Salad for a lunch.

I got back with just enough time to go talk to one of my professors before class so I figured I'd have to eat my lunch in class. I put the salad in my backpack and went up. I dropped by my professor's office and it turns out I didn't need what I thought I did so I had extra time. I walked to my class sat down and opened up my salad to eat it before class started.

It was right at this moment and earlier conversation I had had with my mom that flashed into my mind. We were at Wendy's several weeks ago and she talked about how the salads always have EXTRA WATER in them that she has to dump out so the dressing isn't runny. At the time I had said that I didn't care because I don't use dressing on my salads anyway. Well, I'm sure you've all already made the connection, but this time I CARED. The water had run out of the salad and onto the BRAND NEW set of scriptures I had purchased for my Sweetie. The bible is ok and the Book of Mormon only has water on the corner of some of the pages, but I am so upset by this.

I think I may be under some stress because after I got out of class I sat down in the sun to further inspect the damage and I started to cry. I don't know what to do. Do just give him the scriptures with water on them? Do I get a new Book of Mormon? If I get a new one then what do I do with this one? I thought I was done with this task! I'm just so upset right now. I tried calling my mom to vent about it and she isn't answering her phone, I tried calling Katie, but she never answers her phone and I can't very well vent to my Sweetie! Well, now I'm late for my next class so I'll just have to figure this out later.

2 Dozen

I was walking down the hall in the new JFSB after class today. All the doors were lining the sides. I was thinking about the next few days ahead of me when I suddenly felt a lot like Donald Duck in Mathemagic land. Not after he finally understands all the math around him. Do you remember right in the beginning when he feels totally surrounded by all these numbers and doors and had no idea where to go? Well, my life right now seems to be swirling with numbers

4-days of class left
2-statistics assignemnts still to finish
1-present still to buy
12-hours of lecutres still to sit through
2-final exams still to take
24-days until my wedding
227-dollars left in my bank account
1-present to return
20-pages of my final paper left to format
12-hours of work left to go to
1-final paper of someone else to grade
2-books to sell back
5-minutes of an oral presentation yet to write and give
5-days my granparents will be out of town
2-grades to recieve
10-days until I get to see my Sweetie

And only 1 me to live through it all.

Humor

Maybe it's just that I have a weird sense of humor, but I think that my Statistics professor is HILLARIOUS! Here is a sample of the things he's said (I hope they're still funny written down):

• This quote was taken as he was giving an exam review. A kid raised his hand to ask the steps to do a complicated problem. The professor didn't really want to go over that particular part and he said, "I'm just doing this general review because who knows what's on the test? Well, I do because I just wrote it, but you don't."
• "In statistics you want the truth, but you want the simplest form of the truth."
• This last quote was taken as we were discussing the use of some statistical tools. We wanted to know if our model matched and he was talking about experimenting until you were "happy" with the fit. Then he says, "We'll define happy later."

Anyway, I love sitting through that class just because it is so funny!

Passion

I would like all of you to think of the stereotypical redhead. Are you thinking about it? Good!

I was born the stereotypical redhead. I have the worst temper and I get SO PASSIONATE about things. Most of you that know me well know that I really can get more worked up about something than a lot of people. Over the years I have tried with all my might to control this. When I let myself get worked up nothing good comes of it. I always end up worse in the end than I was in the beginning. Why do I let myself get so upset at things?

Things that I am very passionate about:

• my family-this means that I am passionate about defending my family and that I am passionate when I am in fights with them
• my education-I have worked very hard to learn what I have learned and it gets me really upset when people de-value it
• my religion-it irks me when people de-value my religion or tell me why it's not true. I'm not of the opinion that I know all about my religion or that everyone not in my religion is going to hell or something. Just let me have my space and I'll let you have yours. In fact I find it simply amazing that most of the world's population has sought some sort of religion, even if it isn't mine.
• my person-perhaps this is just my insecurities, but when someone says even a joking comment about me I have such a hard time taking it (even if it is a joke)

In the end I have found that instead of controlling the emotion, which would probably be the best, I have to control the actions. When I get mad I have to just not say anything or step away for a while. It is better to let people just say what they want and stop trying to correct them. This may seem like giving up to some, but for me it has worked really, really well.

The only drawback to this is that days or even minutes later I think of a scathing comeback or remark that would totally make me win, but I've missed my opportunity. My most recent remark that I came up with correlated to a situation that happened over a year ago. Just so nobody thinks I'm that crazy, I wasn't mad about this thing for over a year. I just thought about the situation and realized the perfect response.

Some of this I wish I could change, in fact most of this I wish I could change. I'm not going to apologize about it though. I'm simply reporting the truth.

My Ear, Nose, and Throat Doctor

Last night I was laying in my bed, waiting for my Sweetie to call me back and my allergies kicked into overdrive. I'm not sure whether the situation could honestly be described by the fact that my allergies are always worse at night or that I finally slow down enough to notice them, and thus let them drive me absolutely insane.

Symptoms of my allergies (I'm not just trying to gross you out, I just thought the story would need this background):

• Red, itchy and sometimes puffy eyes (Yes, a kid in my english class this term did ask me what was wrong with my eye one day earlier this year when it had started to swell up)
• Very runny nose
• Sneezing (I always sneeze twice, everyone is always waiting for the third, but for me it never comes)
• Itchy mouth

If you don't have allergies imagine a really bad cold and then put on top of it the itchy mouth and the itchy eyes and you have the allergies. If you don't know what an itchy mouth is it is when the roof of your mouth way back in the soft pallete starts to itch. There's nothing you can do to scratch it. My sister makes this sound when she itches it with her tounge. It sounds just like a baby pig. Very classy, I know.

So anyway, last night I'm in my bed waiting for Daniel to call and my mouth starts itching. I start rubbing my tongue on it (the best way I know how to scratch it, even though it is pretty fruitless). Then the itch spreads to the front roof of my mouth. This rarely happens, but it's not unheard of.

Later the inside of my ear starts to itch. Yes, that's right the inside of my ear. This has never happened before so I got a little worried. I thought perhaps I had caught some sort of disease that makes the inside of your ear itch. I was worried that the itch would never go away. Maybe my hearing would be effected? Maybe it would make that ear produce enormous amounts of ear wax that would be an unsightly mess on the side of my head for the rest of my life? After maybe 2 minutes of this I was really nervous. (Yes, I know it takes me a long time to jump from minor itch to exotic disease. It runs in my family. Just ask my sister.) So I thought I needed to consult something or someone about this new problem of mine. I surly couldn't sleep wondering about this. So what did I do? I couldn't just run upstairs and get on my grandparent's internet for WebMD (my grandparents have the slowest internet. You still hear the dial up when you get on) I didn't have an ear, nose, and throat doctor at my services, but I did have an ear doctor! I called up my sister's boyfriend. We're getting to be pretty good pals so I thought it was ok to call him up and ask about any sort of medical condition. We had a nice chat and he gave me a good prognosis on my condition. He told me that it was probably just another symptom of my dreaded allergies and that I'd be fine. With all my worries about that put to rest I could have a lovely conversation with my Sweetie that night and then sleep soundly.

If anyone in my family has questions about the ear, from now on they know who to call. What a great resource.

Honorable Defeat

Well, I had a take home test that had a 4 hour time limit. I spent ALL FOUR HOURS on it and I still had about 2 hours of work left on it. While other students in the class may feel that the time limit was more of a suggestion, I just closed the program and printed off my work to turn in today. So I wont be getting a very good grade on the test, but at least I followed the directions.

Why do I feel so crappy about this still?

Emails

So yesterday I decided that I would write emails to my close friends and family just to get in touch with them. I wrote five emails....FIVE. This morning as I got to work I eagerly anticipated opening my emial account and getting at least one email in response. Nothing, just a little line from my mom in response to my little line to her. That's ok, I didn't give them a lot of time. Yesterday was Memorial Day so they were probably off doing stuff and it's early yet in the morning. Then after my shift was up I rushed to the computer at work to check my emails again and again a big dissapointment. Nothing, just my emials to myself about my school projects. This is lame. So there.

Bananas

This post is dedicated in its entirety to my new roommates:
Grandma Jane and Grandpa Mel

My grandparents are SO FUNNY! The highlight of my day is coming home for dinner. I wouldn't miss that if my grade depended on it (which is probably not the best place to have your priorities, but it's the truth). I can't possibly write all the funny stories that have happened since I've moved in, but I thought I'd write one from tonight.
My grandparents are avid bird watchers. They microwave different varieties of birdseed (if you microwave it the seeds wont sprout in your garden if they fall) and put it out all over the yard so that the birds will come. They also have a bird bath and several bird houses. Anyway, during dinner and really anytime they are in the sun room they look for and comment on the birds. Tonight was no exception.
Jane: "Look there's two (insert type of bird here) fighting in our yard."
Mel: "It's not that Season Jane."

So it may not be as funny written down, but let me assure you the comedic timing was PERFECT! If you don't get it he was referencing that the birds were mating it being Spring and all. We all had a laugh over that one. Here's another sample of the evening's conversation about birds (pardon the swearing as these are direct quotes):
Jane: "Look at that bird shit on our window! It's all over the window!"(Its really only in one spot)
Mel: "That's nature mother." (Sometimes grandpa calls grandma "mother". It's cute)
Me: "Yeah, I have bird poop all over my car because you have so many birds in that tree."
Jane: "Well, I understand that. Them sitting there and pooping, but not on my window. And so much of it too!"
Me: "Well, birds can fly and poop at the same time."
Jane: "Maybe the bird was flying and had to turn around quick" (or run into the window)
Mel: "Must have scared himself shitless."

You may be wondering why the title of this post is "Bananas" well it's in reference to my grandma being a trivia buff. She LOVES to know pieces of trivia especially if it's about being healthy. Because of this during dinner last night she whips out, "Bananas are supposed to be the best fruit for you in terms of vitamins and minerals per calorie." Yes, that comment came out of nowhere! She just remembers this stuff all on her own. This amazes me because she's always saying how she can't remember anything. She says that she can't remember how to work this or that. She says she can't think of the persons name. Why then I ask you can she always tell you what foods you should eat and why you should eat them (even if you already know that)?

Anyway, I hope you have enjoyed my post as much as I have enjoyed living with my grandparents. They are AMAZING!

The Moon Shots

Last weekend my Sweetie flew down to see me and we went camping with my sister, the ear doctor, and all of Katie's BYU engineering friends. I think her friends are really nice. It was a lot of fun to be there. I wish I didn't have to go. Here are the highlights of the trip.

• I found out all about ears from the ear doctor. Did you know that cotton and ear wax and water hardens up to make a brick like substance in your ear? GROSS. I think I'm off of Q-tips forever.
• I got to see Derek again. Man that kid is funny! He decided the last morning that he was going to light a whole bunch of matches--in his mouth! It was awesome.
• I got to hear the story of how my sister and the ear doctor met. You'd think I would know this by now, but I didn't. He likes to talk and I like to listen so we work well together.
• When Daniel and I got there Friday we got to spend about an hour together just laying in the grass (in the shade of course) talking and laughing. It was fun to have that time with him.
• Daniel didn't get mad at me for sleeping half the way home. He is such an understanding kid! He has basically come to accept that he will be driving 95% of our marriage. I love him
• Daniel and I spent Sunday night with my Grandma Margie and she was SO FUNNY! We had a blast and laughed the whole evening.
• This last one actually happened last night, but the ear doctor called to tell me he had photos of my car on his developed film (my car was clipped by an RV). Man that kid is funny.

Anyway, I also found out that the ear doctor will be making it to my wedding! How great! I hope he likes it! I'm pretty sad that his moon shots didn't turn out.

PS. This post probably didn't do justice to how great the weekend was.

Be There

Through a series of events the past couple of days I've been reminded of a very important lesson. Sometimes it's not so important what you say or what you do--just so that you be there. I've realized how important it is for me to be there for people that I care about and for me to have people be there for me.

• Sometimes to be there means to just talk and talk and talk about nothing. Tell the story of the silly thing that happened today.
• Sometimes you just have to sit and listen. Don't move, don't speak, don't analyze.
• A warm arm and a good hug. A shoulder to cry on.
• Someone that can look through the situation and see the good.
• Sometimes it means the most that you drop what you are doing when someone you care about needs you.
• Sometimes to be there really means to run as fast as you can to get to that person.
• When someone sits on the phone with nothing to say, but will just stay there late into the night and on into the morning. They are there for you.

These are only a few things that I can think of right now. I guess what I'm trying to say is that my hope is that I can continue to be there for the people I care about and that I will be able to thank those that have cared enough to be there for me. You know who you are, and I love you all!

I'm worried

So there have been several things that have happened lately that have made me worried about some peopel I care about. I don't really know what's up though so I'm not sure how much I should worry. My problem is that in situations like this I tend to go on "high worry alert" where the worst could have just happened. I hate that about myself. Plus, I'm kicking around the idea in my head that 20 hours of work a week and 6 credit hours this term might be too much for me. Perhaps I should ask if I can have reduced hours at work. That or quit for the next four weeks. I dont'know. I just feel a little more stress than I am used to (which might be adding to my worries about others). Anyway, that's about it.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The Good

• This week I recieved my wedding announcements. I was waiting for my sister to call me and tell me she got it and to give me a critique on mine, but I guess that is a service you have to ask for.
• I got in a car accident today. Usually this wouldn't be put in the good category, but I wasn't driving, nobody got hurt, and it was in the big BYU Mail Services van so Michelle, my co-worker isn't going to have to pay insurance on it. All in all I got to have about a half hour of paid break because of it. I figure for me, it's pretty good. Plus, we made some pretty funny jokes about it afterward. I wanted to tell people that we hit a pregnant lady (she was pregnant), but she's only 4 months pregnant, and we didn't actually hit her, just the end of her car. Plus we were going pretty slow. Anyway, when I get a good way to tell the story, I'll let you all know.

The bad

• Two nights ago I had a dream. My mom and I were together and we found out that a big fire was coming toward us (nobody else knew) and before that a big flood would come. We fireproofed our trailer (somehow we owned a trailer, I'm not sure where that came from) and then we decided that we should go get Katie, my sister. Well we must have been in CO because the outside of her work looked like where she really does work (or at least the place I've seen). We went inside to find her, but she wasn't at the place she usually is. So we split up looking for her, Mom went up and I went down. I found her in some sort of basement under the building that is connected to the sewer (VERY Teen-Age-Mutant-Ninja-Turtles-esque) when I found her I knew that the flood was about to come on us so I held on to something but her and three of her co-workers were flushed to this hanging precipice where they were all clinging from a ladder. I'll be honest with you here, I only really wanted to save my sister, but she was on the bottom so I saved one of her co-workers. Then another one of them fell into the deep hole where I can assume that she died. So there's only my sister and this middle-aged overweight man hanging on the ladder. I decided that there was no way I could lift this guy to get to my sister. I made him promise me that he would make sure Katie was OK while I went and got my mom for help. We came back down and pulled the man to safety and learned that he had indeed let my sister fall. I was so furious with this man. I kicked him the the groin and then woke up. I was still so mad at that man. I hope that I never meet her co-workers because it sounds like they're all middle-aged overweight men. Yes, my sister died in my dream. That is why this is in the bad category.

The Ugly

• Well, after a story like that I'm exhausted. I don't know what to write for the ugly so that'll just have to come later. Like after my nap on the library chairs.

New York

I realized today that I am greatly influenced by the songs people around me sing. I was walking into the Wilk today and a guy going out was singing, full blast, "Look at me! I'm the King of New York!" I thought it was so funny! Then in the computer area (I had to purchase myself a new $10 calculator for STATS) the guy at the register was singing, "The Phantom of the Opera is there, inside my mind." Having both of those experiences in a row I was lifted up! What a funny day! Plus I really like the flower beds next to the library! They are so beautiful! Anyway, I hope you are all having a great day!

Si-ick

Today I was walking to class when I saw a couple sitting on the benches outside of the JFSB MAKING OUT! I know it's spring and all, but making out in public is gross!

Other than that things are going pretty ok down here. I had a breakthrough in accepting the fact that I will have to stay for spring term yesterday so I'm starting to enjoy myself much better.

I have been looking on the Heat's blog to see if she wrote anything about her exciting weekend, but no such luck! I know she told me the story already, but I'd like to read it in all the details. She never told me if she cried or not, probably not because she's not really a crier unless under considerable stress. I'd just like to read it if she has the time!

The Jibblies

Here are some things that give me the jibblies:

• Today I delivered a box of crickets to the science building on campus. The sound of them all moving around in the wood chips in the box just gave me the jibblies.
• I also delivered a box of worms. They were clinging to the mesh side of the cage. They weren't the night crawler worms that are long and kind of friendly looking, they were only one inch long and gross kind of maggoty looking.
• I delivered a box of ladybugs to the Administration Building. This wouldn't usually be in the list of things that give me the jibblies, but it reminded me of ladybug hatching week at the golf course I worked at. The sound of millions of lady bugs in a cubic foot is just gross. They land on your hair and in your ears and up your nose. I haven't ever really enjoyed them in any great quantity after that. Really any bug that becomes overpowering just is gross. So they gave me the jibblies.
• My new ENGL 316 class sounds like it's going to be really hard because I'm taking it spring term. I don't really know though (sometimes I exaggerate when I first recieve the syllabus.) Another little tidbit is that I'm taking it from Prof. Zimmerman, the wife of my Biochem professor last term! YIKES! I didn't really like the husband, I hope I like the wife.

Yeah, that's pretty much the list of things that gave me the jibblies today. In case any of you were wondering, the jibblies are NOT, I repeat NOT, diarrhea which is what my fiance thought it sounded like. The jibblies is just a gross feeling or general malaise.

This and That

So my sister's right, I don't post on this thing enough and when I do they're not really interesting. The thing is that I do have really very interesting things happening. I just don't have anything I can put the energy into writing very well. If you're wondering what is on my mind go to my sister's blog. Her post from last week is what has been on my mind. I didn't read the obituary until today at work and it just made me start crying, yeah at work. Luckily nobody noticed. Other than that I got my engagement photos taken last weekend. They're really cute and I love them. We're going to have a photo of Dan and myself on the bridge where he proposed on our guest book table. I'm getting pretty excited! Plus, I'm also getting excited to go to MOAB. It's the next time I get to see my sweetie and it'll be my only break here. I don't own any athletic/outdoor type of footwear so my mom and I went to Nordstrom last weekend to buy some. I got a pair of sandals that I thought were appropriate and didn't look like I'd be a poser as someone who does this a lot (coincidentally that is the same reason I refuse to buy a Nalgiene bottle.) Well I called my sister to tell her and she said that the shoes I got were "SO COLORADO" Great, despite my best efforts I'm still going to look like I do this a lot. Oh well.

AM Delivery Driver

Cons:

• Not as much study time
• Dirty
• Having to wear close toed shoes everyday

Pros:

• Don't have to come in until an hour later
• Time in the sun
• Physical Activity (which I know is a good thing, but would NEVER do on my own)

I guess it just depends on who I'm working with. It'll be better this way I think.

Moving On

I packed up some of my stuff to move out of my apartment today. As I was doing this I thought of a couple of things. Physically moving isn't all that hard. You pick up your stuff and move--you know when you get there and you can clearly see where you were from and how you got to the new place. It may be hard to move, but it's cut and dry. There, you're done! The only hard thing about physically moving is moving your heart. By that I mean everything that is so close to your heart.

It finally hit me today that I'm really moving on. What a mixed blessing! On the one hand I absolutely love the man I'm going to marry. He means more to me than I had ever thought another person could. On the other hand, I love everyone here. I have this horrible feeling in my heart. It was like the end of freshman year when I realized that I would probably never see the people that had made their way into my heart again, or if I did it would never be the same. Last year wasn't as hard because I knew I would see the people I loved again. Tonight it is even worse than it was then. The reason is that I love the people close to me more than I have ever before. The thought of leaving them and things never being the same scares me so much. I have this sense of loss about something and I can't even put my finger on it. My head knows things will be alright-it really does. Tonight things are a little hard is all.

On top of that something happened today that made me realize I am not even the same person I was at the beginning of the year. Something so seemingly insignificant happened that at the beginning of the year would have devistated me, but today didn't bother me at all. I was shocked! I kinda missed my old attachment, but I'm also relieved that I'm not attached. I could look back and clearly know that I was different. Also that the accumulation of small choices each day had brought me to such a different place. I don't know if this post made sense to anyone but me. Sorry it wasn't funny.

Snookie-Pookie-Bunnie-Pie

Recently the idea of nicknames was brought up. Mattie doesn't have a nickname he feels comfortable calling the Heat right to her face. Heather has many nicknames that I feel would be appropriate, well, actually all the names but Hell seem appropriate to me. I think it would be good if he called her Heath. It would sound like his girlfriend was a boy. That would be funny. Anyway, I also offered the new nickname of "Snookie-Pookie-Bunnie-Pie." It was shot down. Maybe I'll call her "bunnie-pie" from now on. I don't think so though. The question is now raised, what nickname does your significant other call you? Also, what do you think would be appropriate/inappropriate for them to call you?

Cupcakes

I don't want to go to my physics make up lab. I already chose not to go to the lab when it was offered. What makes them think I would chose to go to a make up one? Especially on a day like this. Plus, I have this real craving for some cupcakes, which is actually very convienent. I got this cake mix and some frosting last weekend and now I can make some cupcakes and eat them this afternoon instead of going to my make up lab. I know if this were my sister there would be no choice between whether I would go or not. Of course I would, well actually if I were Katie I wouldn't have missed the lab in the first place. If I were Daniel, I for sure would be going. I just am having such a hard time deciding that it's worth it though. I don't want to go. Nobody is forcing me to go. It is great weather outside.

PS. On another topic. I don't think I would walk around naked. Even if I were a Jain monk.

Mattie

This weekend my family met my roommate's new boyfriend. They also met my sister's new boyfriend, but that's another story. Anyway, Mattie, as we like to call him, is a funny, funny guy. People just like this kid because he is such a charmer. I knew that my sister would like him even before they met. He's got her type of humor. Anyway, Katie sometimes doesn't really like people for an inexplicable reason (which is very rare). When this happens she says, "He/She just rubs me the wrong way." This common phrase was adapted for her encounter with Mattie, "He just rubs me the right way." I told Mattie Katie had said this and he says, "I rub a lot of people the right way." I hope that Heather isn't jealous of all this rubbing. Speaking of which I bet Mattie owes her a nice back rub this evening!

I Was Wrong

There are times when you look at a situation and you are unhappy about it. Then you realize that the reason you are unhappy is because you're wrong. Well, at least that happens to me. Here is how I know I need to change:

• There is a card on my desk that Heather and I got at the beginning of the year. On it is a photo of an elderly couple cuddling and talking to each other. Under it a statement says, "Love each other or perish."
• Tonight I was helping out with my activity in my ward and I asked the girls I was working with how their weekends went. They didn't really say anything interesting until one of them said, "Can I brag about my roommates for a second?" She proceeded to tell me what great things her roommates, the other girls in the kitchen, had done that last weekend.
• I read out of my 14,000 things to be happy about book tonight.

These three things in conjunction made me realize that I have been unhappy in Provo this last while because I have chosen to be. Yes, there are challenges in my life that make it more difficult, but I have chosen to be upset at those things. Yes, my roommates have done things that either hurt my feelings or annoyed me, but what good is it to point those out? I feel that of the choice between "love" and "perish" I have chosen the latter. I'm not quite sure when the excited about what is going on in my life changed to muddling through. I realized tonight that I secretly or not so secretly have had such a negative outlook at work and at school and in my apartment. Perhaps my little black rain cloud that I put all my grievences in has been really what has been making me unhappy. There are plenty of things in my life to be happy about! I need to remember that! I need to stop being wrong. Now, I just have to get myself out of the rut I'm in.

Dooby Doo

Well, it was well worth the wait.

In order to tell this story a little exposition is necessary so here goes. I have a locked mailbox. You use a key to get into the mail and if you have a package, or as we like to say in the mail industry a parcel, they put it in the parcel box and put the key to the box in your mailbox so you can get it out. Apparently for some the two key holes in the parcel box can be a little confusing.

Last friday I recieved a package from my sister. They put it in the parcel box and the key in our mailbox. One of my roommates went to get the mail that friday. She shoved the key in the wrong hole and then turned so hard it broke. Yes, that's right. I think she's wonderwoman or something, breaking metal and all. Anyway, the package was kept hostage in its mailbox prison for several days. I called and I called and I called the post office and I was just getting the run around. At one point my another roommate said we should just break into it and get the present out. I was really tempted, but the whole that probably being a federal offense issue kept me from destroying the box. Anyway, on Wednesday I decided to go down to the post office. I waited there for 45 minutes to finally get someone to take my name and mailbox location to go fix it. It was a horrible fiasco and I was mad because my birthday present was being kept from me and it wasn't my fault.

Skip to yesterday. I go to get the mail myself, hoping that something has been done. I round the corner of my apartment with my confidence building with each step. There is indeed a new key in parcel box number 5 (the evil box that ate the key) and there is no key in parcel box 4. I rush to the my mailbox (#14) and open it in eager anticipation. There it was! The saving key! My parcel was indeed in box #4! Happy Birthday to me! YEAH! I slide the key into the correct lock turn and open the door. There is a present for me! It is wrapped in brightly colored paper (which technically you're not supposed to do because it's some sort of safety hazard and also it gets caught in the machine. It must have this time because the paper on the bottom of the box was torn) and the gleam shining from off the paper was a promise of the exciting present that lay inside. I took the box out and walked/ran back to my apartment to open in.

I layed it on the table and ripped off the paper. What a joyous moment. I saw the Crate&Barrel logo on the box and I thought to myself, "Yeah, she got me some dishes! I'm going to like this!" Well let me tell you, it was WAY better than I thought! In my box of joy was:
1) Two place settings of plate, bowl, and cup from Crate&Barrel (possibly the cutest new dishes I will ever own)
2) A new outfit that coincidentally matches the dishes. It is a green skirt with a blue camisole and a green and blue jacket. (WAY CUTE! Even though that's a very Utah thing to say.)
3) waffer cookies (Yumm!)
4) A leprechaun pen that punches when you push the buttons on the back. It will go well with my collection of other interesting pens.
5) A waterbottle with a cool bunny twisty straw (I thought this was an appropriate Easter tie in)
6) A big balloon thingy that you have the elastic string on and you can bounce it off your hand. This is probably one of my favorite games to play. I LOVE THEM. I just can't figure out how to tie it so that the end will stay in the balloon. Maybe I'll take it home so that mom can show me how to tie it and then I'll take it back and tie it at home so I can enjoy hours of fun. The only downside of this is that playing with the balloon will possibly be the most annoying thing ever to the people around me.
7) A pack of Scooby Doo playing cards.

WHAT A GREAT BIRTHDAY PRESENT! My sister is the best at giving presents! It was well worth the wait! Thanks Katie! She told me that she was curious about what my favorite would be. How can you make a decision like that with so many great things?! It's really impossible. I like the jacket, because I've always wanted one and never been able to get one for myself. I like the big balloon thingy because I know it will provide hours of entertainment. I like the dishes because they are so cute! (I think I'm going to end up like my mom. I get too excited about dishes already.) Anyway, that's the closest thing I could come up with to having a favorite. Thanks again!

Zen

So I'm at work. There are things I COULD do at work if I wanted to, but I'm here all by myself and I have no drive to do any of them. Being at work is my one relaxing time in the day. I have no deadlines and really no specific task. I just do the work as it comes in. Since I'm here all by myself I also do it at the rate I feel is appropriate for that day. Today I have a test that I'm stressed about. That is why I'm taking it easy at work. If I'm going to have to stress the rest of the day I might as well have a little time to just relax.

On another note. It has been really rainy the past few days. Well, rainy/slushy. At first I was kinda miffed about this. Then everything started to get really green. I stopped complaining because it is making things so beautiful here! It would be nice if it weren't such a cold rain, but I'll take what I can get.

Mounting Frustration

I have a certain roommate that is getting on my nerves. I have tried to just let it go, I have tried to talk to her about it, I have tried to forget. Then the next time I talk to her I am instantly angry again. I know it is my choice to get angry, but sometimes I honestly do feel like I have no control. What should I do? Its getting to the point that I never want to see her face. Grr, I wish I could just relax and be friends. She really is a great girl, I just can't stand her.

Stoned and Loved

Yes, I had a kidney stone. It was basically one of the most painful experiences of my life. No I didn't keep the stone or even take photos of it. I was just glad to have it out of me. It did let me know how much my family and friends love me. I have been flooded with calles the last couple of days. Thanks to all of you! I am loved!

Lord of the Flies

Today, as I was walking up onto campus to the Islamic Discussion, I used the usual route-the stairs on the southeast side. There is this pile of rocks that are stacked up so that people don't run over the curb on this driveway at the bottom of the hill. Instead of being really effective at stopping cars, the rocks just get knocked over all the time. I noticed that they had been stacked back up this morning and on top of the pile was a conch shell. Instantly I thought of Lord of the Flies, I don't really know why the shell only reminds me of that book. Anyway, I get closer and someone has written on the shell "Be CONCH-ous" I thought that was pretty funny.

Homebody

Last weekend I went home, the weekend before that I went to Denver, the weekend before that I was in Salt Lake with my grandma, before that I was in Logan. This weekend, sadly enough, I couldn't figure a way out of Provo. I decided that it might be good to have a break from trying to catch up from being out of town every weekend. Plus, my daddy is coming into town on Sunday and I told him I would drive him to the airport so I couldn't really split. I decided that I'd be a homebody tonight and tomorrow. I told myself this would be good. I needed to relax.

Now it's Friday night and tomorrow's my birthday and I'm sitting here wishing I were somewhere else. Tomorrow I have to go to a pannel discussion on the Islamic Jihad, which I think will be very interesting, and then write a paper about it, also I have an optomitrist appointment. It would be really nice to get some studying done for this big biochem test I have next wek, which I am totally unprepared for. None of these things are really birthday things, but I feel I need to get them done. Depressing, but true. My friend Mary wants to take me out to lunch, which is so nice of her, but I'm just not in the mood. I don't feel like it's a very Happy Birthday. It doesn't feel like tomorrow will be anything special. I don't want to have to pretend that I'm having a happy birthday when I'm really not. Do I have any real reason not to be happy? Well, not really. I'm just not right now.

Uugh! Oh well, maybe it'll be sunny and I'll wake up in a great mood. Who knows. Till then I think I'll read a book and go to bed.

Changes and the Tao

BYU made me change my email program. They're changing to a new system and I HATE IT! Well, I realize that this new system will probably be better for most of the people here at BYU, but I liked the old system. It worked for me. Before the new emails were listed on the bottom of the screen, like the end of this list of things that people who love me wanted to tell me. Each day was like finding something else new and exciting added to my list. Now they appear at the top. I don't like this. Its disconcerting to find them at the top. I like the old way. It was easy to use and I was comfortable with it. My resistance to change has kept me with this old email system even during times when I could have acquired myself a newer better system. Now, a change must be made against my will. I was recently confronted with my lack of flexibility in one of my classes.

In my religion class we were studying Taoism. It was pretty cool. They talked of becoming one with the ultimate Tao. That all things in life and really all life is governed by the Tao (not a diety, more of an energy force kinda.) The Tao is described as being a river. The individual experience is described as being the twig in the river. No matter how hard the twig tries to go against the river it will fail. Happiness is brought by going along with the flow of the river. So things that happen to you in your life happen for a purpose and you should try to deal with them the best you can. This will bring you to the ultimate.

I was realizing today that I am always going against the Tao. Not that I really ascribe to this philosophy per se, but I understand it. Did you know that I still put two spaces after every period at the end of the sentence, even though we're not supposed to in the new writing style? I also fight off this desire to put a comma after each thing in a list. You know, right before the and. Ex. I like trees, flowers, and grass. See, you're not supposed to use that last comma, but I like to because when I was taught commas in the thrid grade my teacher said it was my choice. Then they changed the rules on me.

So along with my antiquated punctuation, my basic instinct to stay with the known has made me realize that I don't really follow the Tao all that much I don't think. Do you think that effects my happiness?

6 AM

There's nothing worse than feeling like the bad roommate at 6 AM! Here's the situation:
Last night I fell asleep at around 9:30PM. Yeah, I know that's early, but it feels like I haven't really been getting the sleep I need/want lately. Plus, I had nothing left that was really pressing as far as school goes. This is an off week for me. So I woke up a little before 10PM, changed into my PJ's and then in my groggy mind thought, "I know I have something that needs to get done in the morning before I get to school so I'd better get up at 6 AM." You know by that last sentence that I must have been pretty tired because my classes don't start until 10 AM and, as I said before, this is an off week. Perhaps I did need to get up, but not that early. That is exactly what I thought when it the alarm went off this morning. I thought, "What was I thinking?" So I turned it off and went right back to sleep. This would not have been any big deal, except that I have a roommate. You know how some people wake up easily and can't go back to sleep? That's her alright. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER! She has always been this way. Also, she has a new boyfriend so she's staying up later. The only thing is that when she comes in late she never wakes me up. I sleep right through it. So I'm cutting her sleeping time off, but thus far she hasn't disturbed my sleep time in the slightest. My logical question then would be who is the bad roommate? ME! I hate that feeling.

Plus, on a deeper layer of this issue, she is my best friend. I honestly could hang out with her everyday and not get sick of her. I realized this morning that since she has acquired this new guy, who I really do think is a great guy for her, she spends time with him. I didn't realize how jealous I was getting! I think this guy is great for her and I'm so happy she has someone that can take her mind off school for a while and that she can have fun with! I want her to go and have fun! Why can't I be a more understanding roommate? I thought I was being understanding, but I realized today, although I haven't really complained about it, I should change my attitude. Maybe I'll do something special for her today!

Beaver Nation

So I officially got my acceptance to OSU via email. It was the dorkiest thing I've ever seen. They welcomed me into the "Beaver Nation." Pretty awesome. Despite the weird acceptance (a regular mailed letter will be following) I'm pretty excited to have that officially done with. Now the next steps can be taken to start my new life.

I also recieved another package this week. Yesterday a small box came to me from Daniel. In it included a cute card, my fossil tin that my watch (Valentine's Day present) came in, two pairs of fun St. Patrick's Day sox, and the biggest T-shirt I've ever had given to me. It smelled like him so I wore it to bed. Sentimental, yes, but it made me feel so much better.

Whil I was gone this weekend all the rest of the daffodils bloomed! They are so beautiful! My favorite are the miniature variety with the orange centers. Either that or the pale yellow ones that are almost white.

I have needed to go grocery shopping for a little over two weeks now. I am litterally down to spaghetti noodles and oatmeal. Katie gave me a bag of Mint Milano cookies and two yogurt cups which have helped me the last two days now. But I've eaten both of them. It looks like I will actually have to step into that torture chamber and actually purchase groceries.

I spent so much time cleaning my romm and apartment and now, only 1.5 days after my return I've made it horribly messy again! I guess I'd better go clean it.

Special Occasion Speech

Well, this week's assignment in my public speaking class is to write and give a 4 minute special occasion speech. It could be for any occasion and any person. Although it does not nearly do her justice here's my speech.

Occasion: Mother's Day Toast
Person: My mom

There are those for whom a simple thank you would never be enough, and yet that is all they ask for. They have a seemingly inexhaustible source of strength, giving, and love. The true glory that is held in that person perceived through the thankful eyes of those blessed by them shines like a beacon. In my experience there have been very few of these pillars, yet when examining the framework of my life those people have held up my roof of dreams.

Alongside my daddy, my mom is one of the pillars in my life. It seems as though I could never do enough or give enough accolades to her to really convey her awesome beauty. My mother seems to have accomplished quite gracefully what many women today see as impossible. She was and is a mom that works. This is precisely how I have always perceived her role in the family. Her job was never her career, it was a way for her to bless her children’s lives. With all the demands on her time, I never really registered that perhaps she could be doing something other than being with me. When I was little she was at every school concert and show. She was a frequent mom on field trips and I learned to love the zoo from her. Looking at today’s society I wonder to myself–how did she do it?

My mom has always taught me the potential that I hold. Growing up my sister and myself would always get dolls for presents. Alongside these would always be telescopes, microscopes, and science kits. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t KNOW I would get a college education. When I want to give up, let go, or just plain stop trying she always gives me a loving nudge in the forward direction.

Being a gracious person has always been important to my mother. She knows how to carry herself with confidence and charm. In her line of business she coordinates all sorts of functions and parties, yet all the times I’ve seen her help others organize receptions of their own, she knows how to support them and not butt in. She taught me how to write a proper thank you note and promptly mail it. She knows her worth and quietly lives up to it.

It has only been recently that I have realized the sacrifices that my mom has made for me. When I was a junior in high school my mom got one of the best job offers of her career. If she would only move from Spokane to Salt Lake, she could be an area manager–a significantly higher position in status and pay. Another benefit to this move was it would bring her back to her family who live here in Utah. She turned it down. I would have had to go to a new school for my senior year in high school. She never complained and I, regrettably, never acknowledged the sacrifice.

My mom did so much for me today. With my wedding exactly four months from now my mom is in high gear. Today she just called me with an estimate for the caterer in between some of her tasks at work. She is in the middle of a big career change and yet seems to be wrapped up in my wedding. Again, as always I am amazed.

With all the pandemonium in our lives and with Mother’s Day on the way I’ve been thinking about my mom. Although my words right now don’t really seem to do her justice, I would just like to say thanks Mom.

She works hard for her money

So I work in the University Press Building. Basically BYU Mail Services gets the back end of the print building. Everyday we recieve packages that are then sent all over campus. Some of the packages are actually supposed to go to the press part of the building and those are my responsibility to deliver. I LOVE THIS. You may be asking yourself why I would love having to deliver dirty packages through a noisy printing operation. Well, here's why. First of all I am fascinated to see the printing machines at work. Print, cut, fold, staple, stack. It is amazing. Secondly, I absolutely love the smell in that place. I think it's the ink that they use, but I'm not really sure. It could be the paper, or maybe some other chemical used on the machines. Whatever it is, the distinct smell just is good. Don't get me wrong, I don't think I would like to be surrounded by it all the time or even smell it on another person, but that smell for a small part of the day just makes my job a little better.

Tidbitts Too

Here are some thoughts I had today.

1. In our parking lot there is one stall that is next to the wall that people park in WAY TOO CLOSE so that people walking around the plant thingy growing over the top of the wall have to do contortions to get around it. This bothers me. For the past two days now I have gotten to park in that spot. It gives me endless gratification to park far enough back so that people can easily walk around the plant and my car at the same time. I'm kinda proud of it.
2. I have now been moved down TWO lists of blogging friends on their links lists. I know this seems like nothing to anybody else (especially since they were making it in alphabetical order) but it has drastically changed my outlook on their sites. The Heat is doing it so that she can make money. Let me just say that EVERYBODY knows that I am her favorite and giving her money isn't going to change her favorites. It will be me! Why do people even have to move me down? It seems sort of wrong or something. At least I wasn't taken off their lists (like Katie rudely did to Heather).
3. You know how sometimes it rains and the worms come out? I have talked about this before. Well recently it snowed but it was a wet snow so all the worms came out and then they froze to death. Now we have their frozen carcasses on the ground all over. It's kinda sick if you ask me. Also I wonder how we even have any worms populating the planet anymore because they all come out and die. (This isn't an invitation to give me a biology lesson Heather.)

That's about it for now. Hope you like the tidbitts too!

Music Dork

Well, Katie asked me to answer some questions from her blog so here goes.

1. Total amount of music files on your computer:
I don't really know to be honest. I think I copied three christmas CDs and two other CDs on
there, but that's about it.

2. The last CD you bought:
"Feels Like Home" by Norah Jones. Coincidentally the ONLY CD I've purchased for myself. A fact that seems like a sin to some.

3. What's the last song you listened to before you read this message:
"Tiny Dacer" by Elton John the first time I read the post. A song I don't know the title to by Incubus the current time I read the post.

4. Write down 5 songs that you often listen to or that mean a lot to you:

• "Rippling Water" by somebody. It reminds me of my daddy. It's totally country sounding, but I like it especially the intro before the words come on.
• A song by James Taylor that I don't remember the title to. Its on this CD that Katie left in the car when it was transferred to my hands. Well, anything by James Taylor is pretty awesome. If you don't think that then you're a loser. I think he's one of my favorite acoustic guitarists. Plus, the song is just good.
• "When the Sun Goes Down" I don't know the artists. I probably should on this one. It's a country song. I'm ashamed to admit that I actually listen to it, but it reminds me of the first date that Daniel and I had so I love it.
• "Sleeping Beauty" not the Disney version, the original orchestrated version (I forget the composer, Tchicovsky I think). It is a BEAUTIFUL piece of music.
• I would have to say any song by Billie Holiday. Her voice is absolutely amazing and I love just to relax to her music. Plus, any Jazz song reminds me of my mom and I love them all. Jazz is the best music in the world.

5. Who are you going to pass the stick to:

Nobody. I don't really know who would like to answer the questions.

So talking about music makes me seem like a big dork because I don't really know the names of artists or songs. I do like music though and I figured I'm not that uninformed about music. I know what I like. I LOVE JAZZ! I also like country and bluegrass. For the most part they are pretty related to jazz which is pretty cool. I like the acoustic guitar. Influences from my friends that I've had at school have been my appreciation of punk music and also anything with "the funk." So anyway those are my thoughts on that issue.

ED

Well, I've recently discovered something pretty amazing! Ed is on TBS at 10AM weekdays! That show is SO GOOD! I wish I didn't have to go to class at 10 MWF. I do try to see it when I can though. Tuesdays are the best for me because I get out of class at 10:15 (so I miss the beginning) But I don't have work at 11. I'm so happy. It reminds me of Ed Night during freshman year.

World Religions

So I'm taking this class on major world religions. I LOVE IT! It makes me feel as though I have some idea of things that are going on in the world. We haven't done very many yet though. We've covered the pre-historic religions like Egypt, Greece, Celts, Romans, and Babylonians. Also we've gone into detail on Judaism and Hinduism. Right now we are studying Zoroastrianism. I am embarassed to admit my ignorance in this realm, but before this class I had never heard of Zoroastrians. Well, at least I thought I hadn't. Apparently that was the religion of Perssia (you know it the Bible). Anyway, I am totally fascinated by this religion. It has so many parallels to my religion. Some of the things in it are radically different than what I believe, but I can't wait to dig in and understand it more.

Also I have to go visit the worship services of another faith and write a paper on it due in three weeks. What faith should I visit? I would go to the Krishna temple, but I've already been there twice so the what did you expect before going there portion of the paper wouldn't be that interesting. Any suggestions?

Behold the Power of Cheese

Well, my post really has nothing to do with cheese. That's just been running through my head because I finally chose a topic for my 5 minute informative speech for my speech class. (I'm doing it on cheese.) Anyway, what this post is really about is how I'm a genius! Today has been an awesome day and here are three MAIN reasons why (not the only reasons, just the best ones)
1. I got my Valentine's Day package from my mom today. In it she put new socks (my favorite), some butter creme mint thingys that she has started making for my wedding reception, a new pencil, and some valentine refridgerator craft magnets. Sorry about the syntax of that sentence. Anyway, it was pretty much the awesomest thing ever.

2. I found out my rank in my O-chem lab. Any guesses? I am ranked number 4! Isn't that amazing?! I think it's pretty much the best thing ever. Everyone in that lab thinks I'm a chemistry genius. I think its so funny that I'm doing such a good job at fooling them all! Little do they know that I got a C- in 351 and a C in 352! Anyway, I'm planning on getting a B or perhaps an A in that lab. I'm a genius!

3. The final and most genius move of the day is that I talked my way out of having to pay TWO on campus parking violations today! (A sum total of $40 I would have had to pay today.) How did I do this you ask? Well, basically it's because of my geniosity (this is a conjugation of the word genius). I bet you all wish you were as genius as I am!

Pennies from Heaven

"Every time it rains, it rains pennies from heaven." I love that song! Billie Holiday is amazing!

I washed my car today. I know this doesn't sound like much, but this is the first time I've done it since the little incident. This time I went up to the safe one that's near my grandma's house. It's called Car Wash on 8th. It's pretty good. Also it's usually crowded. Before I didn't like that about this place, but I was happy this time. So even though it was far away, it was worth the drive. I was vaccuuming out my car afterwards and I vaccuumed up a piece of glass! (In case you don't know my car got broken into last summer and the glass from the window was all over the inside of my car. Incidently $1500 worth of my stuff was taken.) Anyway, it got me to thinking how that car and I have been through a lot together. Now it's all dented and has some scratches. (sorry Daddy, but I don't think any of them are my fault and there's no new ones since you saw it at Christmas) It's maybe a little worse for the wear but it has character. I think that's a little like myself. Character.

What are some of my other pennies? Well, I have realized this week how much I love my family! I don't mean to say this as some silly thing that you always hear at testimony meeting, but I honestly do love them. They do so much for me. My big sister will always be a trailblazer! My mom is my protector and comforter. My daddy has been and always will be a safe haven to cry in. My brother has shown me so many paths to success. I admire them all and look to their examples in my life.

Speaking of family, another set of pennies are my roommates this year. I think I have trusted them and loved them more than I ever thought possible. I wish I knew how to better show them that. I have been blessed to know one of my perfect complements, Heather Higgins. I have realized lately that we are not perfect complements because we came that way. We have worked at it three years now. We are sisters. I want to be like her when I grow up. She is a spiritual giant that is so....awesome in the true sense of the word. Toria is an intellectual giant. Watching her and how she lives her life has shown me the true joy of learning. I am amazed at her dedication. Jana I feel so close to right now. I don't have any idea of what her life has been like, but I know that she is truly a strong woman capable of much. I look to her future to see great things.

How could I talk about pennies without mentioning Daniel? I am so humbled that someone so great loves me. He chooses to love me each and every day. He works so hard and is so patient. He, who doesn't talk to people, has shown me what true communication and love can be about. He sees his faults and actively works to better himself. I love him so much. It is so great to be able to absolutely trust someone--what they tell you and what they do for you and who they are. That is a rare gift and I'm so happy that I have found it.

I have so much love and support all around me! My cup runneth over! I don't think I could get any more blessings. I wouldn't have any space for them.

PS. Heather's soccer game tonight went really great! Man she is so awesome! Bring on the Heat!

PSS. Sorry this post was a long one for those of you readers that don't actually have the attention span to read the whole thing.

HAPPY GROUND HOG'S DAY!

One thing that I think I've really changed while living with Miss Heather Higgins is my observace of all national holidays. Did anyone else know that today is Ground Hog's Day? Well it is. And I think Punxsutawney Phill will be seeing his shadow today. And here's a question for you. Does Phill predict winter for the whole US or is it a sort of regional thing? I would be leaning toward regional, but then what regions do you have? If there aren't any sort of lines drawn we could have a hog for every block in the nation. That doesn't seem to work. Then one hog could see his shadow and a hog a block over, who is a little braver, wont go hiding back in his hole. Does that mean that for the one block it's 6 more weeks of winter but the block over can say, "Bring on the Spring!"?

But it doesn't seem right that Phill would predict the nation either. How could cloud cover in New York possibly predict Utah's 6 week forcast? That is the big issue of the day. So anyway, HAPPY GROUND HOG'S DAY!

Quote from earlier this morning:
We were trying to find out the meaning of the town name Punxsutawney.
Me: Well it must be something brown because tawney means brownish.
Heather: Punxsu must mean Hog. Brown Hog.

May 1963

So I spent the night with my Grandma Margie last night. She is such an amazing woman! I wish I had spend more time getting to know her before now. We went through all her old photos and I learned about her life. My grandma is truely amazing. Her life...wow. Words can't even express my gratitude for all she has done. At any rate, we spent Friday evening going through her photos and labeling them. Who they were of really was the only thing that we got on them. I decided that they were simply amazing. I saw photos of little kids with happy smiling faces. It's kinda weird to be confronted with the beggining of someone's life KNOWING the end. I saw photos of my Aunt Sandy. Such a happy little girl. I saw photos of Grandpa Willie--the little boy, the young man, the sailor, the pharmacist. These are photos of people that were taken from me. Seeing their faces and their photos have given me such a new sense of their personallities. I'm so grateful for the chance to get to know them.

Tidbits

1. I feel the great loss that is surrounding our apartment already. Kate was such a wonderful addition to our apartment, so loving and cute. My only question is who are we going to have dispose of the body? I say a boy because girls don't touch dead stuff.

2. Last weekend was amazing! I love spending time with my sweetie. It doesn't happen that often. We went up to Logan and visited with some family up there. We went sledding up there because it's colder. If we were in Dante's version of Hell I think Logan would be the lowest circle. It was fun anyway. The little nephews are SO CUTE! I wish Dan could be around me more. I miss him so much! I think it's getting better though. I mean school is keeping me really busy and there's not much time until I get to see him again. I sometimes get a little jealous of people who get to have their fiance around them, or even in the same state, but I know that things will work out for the best.

3. There's more, but I'm off of work now so I don't have any more time to write. Sorry.

Maggie's Classes

I don't know if any of you have ever felt this, but I don't want to go to school anymore. I don't get to take any classes this semester that are food science, which stinks. A lot. I don't really like any of my classes this semester and it kinda makes me not want to keep going. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing how important it is to me and those around me. I'm glad that I have that kind of influence in my life. If it were just me, I would have given up about a semester ago.

When you've lived with girls too long

Last Sunday, I took my roommates over to my aunt and uncle's house for a nice Sunday Dinner. Well, everything was going great! My sister was in town so, of course, the family favorite topic of conversation was discussed. That would be skiing if any of you are unaware of my sister's new obsession. Also, I felt that my aunt and uncle did a wonderful job including my roommates. The dinner was a particularly tasty meal with my aunts wonderful homemade rolls. To top it all off a dessert of warm, freshly baked brownie with ice cream and real hot fudge was served. My uncle made this delicious concoction. He had it set out in the laundry room to cool on the extra microwave in that room. We were all sitting at the table in blissful anticipation when, with much pride, he brought it in. My aunt, doing her usual running around clean up went over to the bar to help serve. She suddenly started laughing. We all look over and she gasps out, "Look at what your uncle used as hot pads!" She is holding up two hot pink panties! Yes, my uncle, assuming that the brownies were resting on two hot pads just picked up the panties and brought them in with the brownies without even noticing that anything was amiss. I think this is a testament to what happens when the only boy has been out of the house for three years now and the three girls remaining take over the place. (PS. the panties were clean)

Raging Insecurities

I don't know if it's just me or this happens to everyone, but I just can't stand the beginning of a new semester. Some of the people around me see it as an opportunity, a new challange to tackle, or new and exciting people to meet. I don't see it this way at all. I just finished my first organic chemistry lab. This class brought out all of my insecurities at once. First, it was a class that is male dominated. I know I'll have to really hold my own in that class or play the "I'm just a stupid girl" route to be able to work with anybody. It sucks, but that's the reality. Also, we have to work independently. I don't like to do that because I very rarely understand things without talking about them. Thirdly, I really feel that I DON'T understand organic chemistry. It is a subject for which I have had to work extra hard just to get a passing grade. Also, I'm not a pre-med pre-dent major. I don't NEED an A in this class. I just have to get a passing grade and I know, for my last o-chem class, I had to work three times as hard as the guys I studied with who got A's. Lame. Anyway, that's what I think about that.