Mandolin

Yesterday I went to my mandolin lesson and I just wanted to let everyone know that it is awesome. I have loved every minute of it. I think its funny because this time around I'm not trying to avoid practicing, but instead trying to find time to practice. I wait until the kids are in bed and then I'm trying to make sure I get at least a half hour in a day. Chord practice is slow going but I can tell I'm starting to figure things out and its great.

Also, I put in the main garden in the front of our house and it looks stunning! Well, I think it does. It was a lot of work because I had to haul buckets of dirt from the back yard into the huge hole that was left after Dan moved our hydrangea last fall. I was doing it in the morning while the kids sat on the sidewalk eating cinnamon life. Or at least that's what I thought was happening. I looked up after about 8,000 trips (because Dan says we don't need a wheel barrow) and noticed that my son was no longer on the sidewalk. He was now on the concrete landing in front of our house. I asked Charlotte about it and she said, "He climbed up the stairs maybe?" She was sitting right there. How could she not know what happened? Also, that was the first time he climbed stairs. That's right. The first time my son climbed stairs they were concrete with nobody around to catch him if he fell. But he didn't fall. And my garden looks great.

And Now I'm Red

After dinner tonight Dan and I took the kids to Lowe's to purchase something for the garden in the front of our house. We may not do much, but we do need something. Plus, my husband always has an eye for a bargain and they were selling azaleas in one gallon pots for under $2. Can't pass that up. As we're walking around looking at everything, because who goes to the garden section and doesn't look at all the plants, and I'm concentrating on some very pretty, fairly cheep ground cover, Greg is arching his back turning his head and leaning away toward the person next to me. I guess I'm too used to shopping during the day because I absent mindedly say to him, "Are you just trying to check out that lady next to us?" No response from Greg or the lady. So I look up and see a man. A very large, very full bearded man standing right next to us. So what do I say? "I mean the man." He was a good sport about it and said that was the funniest thing that had happened to him that day, but I was sure embarrassed.

24 hours

I don't remember if I mentioned my banning of treats, candy and baked goods in our home about a month ago? I got so fed up with Charlotte not eating meals, that I went through our house and threw all of the sweets away. I also declared to the family that no new treats were to enter our home for a month and set the end date as Charlotte's birthday (because how can you not have a birthday cake?). Well, we didn't quite make it to her birthday because Dan got me starburst jellybeans for my birthday which we celebrated on Monday night. Then yesterday we made cookies that were intended for Charlotte to take to Joy School today (which we forgot). Turns out Charlotte didn't eat lunch today. Well, let me amend that. She ate one bite of sandwich. One bite. Then half an hour later she said she was hungry and asked for a popsicle and a cookie. I swear that kid has a memory for treats!

And as for me this was certainly and eye opener. I didn't realize how hard it would be to not make baked goods. We must have never had a night without them because every night after the kids got in bed I felt the urge to eat brownies, cookies, cake, chocolate, anything. But since we didn't have anything I couldn't.

So now the question is that of balance. How much do I allow in our home? When its here there is the contant fight not only to keep myself from eating it, but also my children. Dan has such amazing self control about this sort of thing so it doesn't seem to bother him one way or the other.

The Winds of Change

I can't believe that things seem to be changing so much lately. The health care bill was passed and that is going to seriously change things in our family's future. (And if you think I'm getting into that discussion on this public blog, you're crazy.)

Also, match day was last week. In case you are like most of the world, and you don't know what match day is I'll try to explain succinctly. After the four years of undergrad you do you apply to medical school. After the four years of medical school you have anywhere from 3 to 7 years of residency. (I think Dan's is going to be in the 5 year neighborhood.) Obviously based on what specialty you're going into your residency will be set up differently. Also, sometimes you do a 1-2 year fellowship at the end of it. You have to apply for residency much like you have to apply for medical school. The only difference, it seems to me, is that at each new level of learning the competition to get into it gets more and more difficult. You apply to however many programs you think you need to and you do away rotations (which means you work at their program for a month) to those you're really interested in and then you wait to do interviews. After all that working and interviewing comes the waiting game. You list the places you'd like to go and the places list the people they want and they're matched together. So the match day is when you find out where you got in (or if you got in). It's a very big deal. This year wasn't our year to go through the match, but next year is. It was a roller coaster to just watch the families that were going through. YIKES. Plus now I'm watching as those families pack up and put their houses on the market and work and work and work and I'm thinking, "That'll be me in a year."

Also, tomorrow I've got an honest to goodness three year old. She's three! How on earth did that happen? Three years ago she was nothing but a big rolling ball inside me and now she walks and talks. She has opinions and preferences that she tries her best to impose. Like this morning when she went to the grocery store in her pajamas because I wasn't going to fight that fight today. Or yesterday when she took a shower by herself and then got dressed by herself and came into my room with all her clothing sticking to her body because she did not dry herself. She notices things and says the most amazing stuff. She is smart and funny and gentle and kind and how on earth did she get so big? How how how?

Also, Greg moves. I put him down on the rug by our sofa this morning then ran upstairs to get a diaper. By the time I got back downstairs he had made it to the bottom step. Can anyone say babygate? He is funny and interacts with people and loves life. He's getting so brave at trying new things. Pretty soon he's going to be a toddler walking along all on his own.

Happy Birthday To Me

Last weekend the kids and I got out of Dodge and went on a women's retreat with my family. It was so much fun and I had a great birthday. Charlotte loved all the attention she was paid and Greg learned so many new little things. He now waves hi to people and can pull up on his own. Tonight Dan made me pancake cake for dinner and we had our little family celebration. Then Thursday is Charlotte's birthday, then it's time for Easter. This spring is off to a big start.

Things to remember

I just thought I'd write down a few things I don't want to forget.

The other day Greg was pulling himself up on the coffee table and slipped. Charlotte came over, picked him up (terrifying) and said, "Here you go Mr. Chubbers." Which is a nick name that his father gave him and I disapprove of, but it seems to have stuck in her mind.

When I introduced myself during my first mandolin lesson (which was amazing by the way) one of the other students said, "A red head named Maggie. That will be easy to remember."

Someone had forgotten to flush the toilet in a public restroom. Charlotte looked into it and scrunched up her nose. She pointed down to it and said to me, "Look. Eww. Isgusting." I didn't know she even knew the word disgusting.

Greg has graduated from army crawl to something else entirely that has no official name, but he seems to get around just fine. He has also decided that its OK to cruise along furniture if, and only if, there is the possibility of making a huge mess somewhere along the line. Yes, my friends he is now and undo-er.

Dear March,

Did you know that I love you? Well, don't feel bad, I was unaware of it previous to this year as well. But this year I have noticed more of all the lovely things you give and do for me. Sure, you "come in like a lion" and there may still be days of rain and (I shudder to think) snow, but there are also glorious days. Days wherein my children and I spend 3 hours in our backyard. You gave me that. You helped me to see the creativity and imagination that my almost three year old has. She doesn't need much more than a board, a couple of old bricks and a big ball to entertain her. Sure everytime we go to Sam's club she sees the $800 play structure and says she wishes she could buy it. I would feel bad, but for the knowledge of her running around without a thing in the backyard. You gave that to me. Thank you.

You know what else you give me, oh lovely March? Not only did you give me crocuses that have come and gone, but daffodils, tulips, resurrection lillies, and the first signs of growth on the hydrangeas, and mums. There is life and joy returning outside. I can tell because the birds have come back too. Aren't they wonderful, March? I knew you'd think so.

In March we get to escape the house, which means escaping the never ending chores that pile around me to see the sun! Oh the sun! March gives you the first signs that the sun is going to warm the days. I love to go outside, even when it's not quite warm enough, and just let myself feel the sun in March.

And most importantly, March, you have given me Charlotte. That most wonderful of gifts. I glory in her awesomeness. Even when she spends two nights throwing up, which she did just the past two nights, she's still so funny and smart and amazing. Thank you March.

Sincerely Yours,
Maggie

Finally Starting to Make Sense

For the past month I have been worried. Very worried. I worried so much that I convinced myself it had happened by mistake. I knew I was pregnant. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. Never mind that I'm still breastfeeding and taking the mini pill.

So I checked.

I'm not.

Which was a relief, but did not explain what I had been feeling. What I was feeling was tired. Tired and hungry. Tired and hungry all the time.

Today Greg and Charlotte had their iron tested. Charlotte is fine, but Greg's iron is too low. I was given some information about what to have him eat, but of course as you all know he's only eating breast milk, bananas, and cheerios so there goes that advice. Actually we have been sucessful at getting him to eat meats lately which is exciting. Then the lady said, "You should probably increase your iron levels so he gets more from you."

I told this to some friends over lunch today while complaining about how Greg has recently also decided to nurse more lately. And I'm not sure how I didn't see this all before my friends pointed it out to me. I'm nursing more, which explains the hunger, and probably need more iron myself, which would explain the fatigue. Sometimes I think I would fall apart if other people didn't help to keep me together.

I finally Got It

Well, after looking for a month and then procrastinating for two months I finally bit the bullet and bought a new battery charger for my camera. Greg has reached the really exciting phase where I can take photos of him actually doing things and Charlotte is always in love with the camera. It was making me sad to not take any photos of my kids. So I excitedly anticipated the arrival of the new battery charger and promised myself to take tons of photos that very day of my adorable children to share with everyone that came to my blog.

The charger arrived just in time to take these:

I case you were wondering. Yes that, conjunctivitis. In both eyes. In both children.

My new favorite number

I never used to know what to say when people asked my favorite number. I never felt really attached to any number in particular, but today I found my two new favorite numbers.

Eleventeen

Twelveteen

Those are the best two numbers around.

On a completely unrelated note I realized that I've shared stories about each of the members of my house but me. I thought I'd include a few tidbits about myself. First, I will be starting Mandolin lessons this Thursday which also coincides with Dan's Boy Scouts so we will be having some interesting scheduling for about a month. It doesn't matter though because I'm super excited.

Second, I realized that I have a ton of hair the other day. My friend's husband came up to me at church and told me that their vacuum was losing suction. When he turned it over to investigate he found it totally clogged with my hair. I've never done that before, but I guess I spend enough time there it makes sense.

Where Do I Even Begin?

Two days ago I took my kids to the mall to play on the toys at the mall. Why does Charlotte love that so much? The toys are so dumb, but she loves it so I try to indulge.

We went with a friend and her little boy so my car was full. As my friend and I are chatting down the interstate we are suddenly interrupted by full out wailing from Greg. He doesn't really do that very often so I was very alarmed.

"Why is Greggie crying?" I try to get out over the cries.

"He's sad," Charlotte responds.

"Why?" I ask.

"I stuck the keys too far into his mouth," is her very logical answer.

WHAT?! Where did the keys come from? Why isn't the pacifier in his mouth? Where did you put that? And most importantly, why did you put the keys in his mouth? All of those questions must have come out in one big angry sounding jumble because Charlotte's answer to them was to burst out in tears (like she does for everything lately). So there we are careening down the interstate me confused and worried he'd been stabbed, Charlotte hurt feeling and crying and Greg screaming. I did some serious calming down for everyone and Greg turned out to be fine. We went to the mall and played and a good lesson was learned. We only use keys on doors.

Is He Really Old Enough For This?

Our powers of creativity and problem solving have really had to come into play while feeding Greg lately. He's decided he doesn't like baby food anymore. When this happened with Charlotte we sort of had a household sigh of relief because she just started eating what we ate. We can't really do that with Greg because much of what we eat has diary in it. (Did I mention his allergy appointment isn't until August? A little perturbed about that. I'm so not breastfeeing for 15 months.) Another little hitch in the feeding plan is that the only finger food that he will pick up and eat is cheerios. All other food needs to be big enough for him to hold in his hand and bite off of. That's tricky when you only have four teeth.

The other night we gave him peas (some frozen, some cooked) for dinner because he used to like to pick them up and eat them. Not that night. He didn't throw a fit or fling them anywhere. He just sat in his high chair grabbing them and stuffing them in the seat of the high chair. He had this look on his face like he was being so sneeky and we wouldn't know that the hoards of peas in the seat meant he didn't eat any.

So it looks like my son is going to live off of breastmilk, cheerios and bananas for a while now.

Gummy Bag

Dear readers, I have a story to tell. It starts out in Joy School, the co-op preschool my daughter and I are doing. Joy school has been very good for Charlotte, but this last unit, on order and goal striving, has been awesome for everyone in the family (read: me). For some reason these lessons have really hit home, especially about order. Put everything in it's place. And do you want to know why it has hit home for her?

The Gunny Bag.

This is a fictitious character created by the people that made up Joy School. Every home has a Gunny Bag that lives in a closet or the attic or some out of the way place that comes out during down times and likes to eat toys that are left out! There's even a couple of songs that go along with it. (And thanks to this lesson I go around cleaning the house with them stuck in my head. For three days!)

When explaining this to the girls I had purposefully left out a few toys and then had the homemade gunny bag eat them. The girls understood, but Charlotte wasn't too happy. Apparently I had chosen wrong and the Gunny Bag ate a beloved dollar store doll. Later the Gunny Bag told me that he thought the doll was yucky and didn't want it in his tummy. The Gunny Bag does occasionally give toys back, but if he eats them twice they're gone for good. When I explained this Charlotte was much happier with the idea of the "Gummy Bag." (She must have misheard, but I think Gummy Bag is funnier than Gunny Bag so I'm not going to correct her.)

All day the next day Charlotte went around our house saying, "We don't want the Gummy Bag to eat this." And then would put it away!

Then, silly mommy, left the Gunny Bag out instead of putting it away and do you want to know what that little smartie did? She tore the eyes off the Gunny Bag. When I asked her why she would do that she said, "Then he can't see my toys left out."

Such a problem solver.

PS. Daddy told her that the Gunny Bag can smell the toys left out. There's not getting around the Gunny Bag. Also, now if I say, "Is your room in order?" she will go around putting all her stuff away. Isn't that amazing?

Shining Armor

I am so grateful for my husband right now. I had a great day today and then around 3:30 I just lost steam. I taught Joy School this morning and then a friend came over and we had a blast, but for some reason I've just been losing energy around that time of day for the last week or so. I've actually taken naps, which is something I haven't done in months. Hopefully I snap out of this soon because my house is in ruins and my kids weren't the happiest of children and it was mostly (all) my fault.

Dan came home and put Greg to bed and then started the dishes while I read stories to Charlotte. (I totally got the better end of that deal, don't you think?) He is still in there doing dishes and I am so thankful to have a husband that does so much service for my kids and me. We are so blessed.

To Celebrate

Dan's out taking his test for the surgical rotation and guess what I just got to celebrate?

Two tickets to the PBR which is in town this weekend. We heard about it being in town two days ago and I could see that Dan perked up at the idea, but as we all know if I left it up to him we wouldn't be going. He needs more than three days to process spending money unexpectedly.

I can't wait to surprise him! I'm sure he'll love it.

Jammie Time

Without going into the details, Charlotte and I had an all out test of will powers tonight for about an hour and a half. How exhausting sometimes! But on a bright note, I won.

And tomorrow is Dan's test for the surgical rotation and we can close the book on the last two months!

$5.19

That is apparently how much money it takes to buy an evening of happiness in my family.

Yesterday every plan I made fell through so I spent the entire day thinking about what we were going to do next.

By 3:30 I was wishing it was dinner time, so I decided to start making dinner.

The kids and I ate dinner and were done by 5:15.

There may or may not have been a whole lot of crying involved on everyone's part.

By 5:27 we had made our way to the St. Louis Bread Co.

Charlotte had a brownie and Greg and I ate a cinnamon crunch bagel bread sliced and we all shared a milk. It was so very expensive, but also brought so much sanity.

Dan came home at 6:22 to a happy family with two kids playing in the tub instead of a screaming, crying, sad family that he had to pick up the pieces of.

I'd say it was money well spent.

Cutest Thing Ever

Tonight was my night to put the Bear to bed. She had previously taken a nap today and I knew she'd be up a little late. So we watched a little of the Olympics. While watching the Olympics she got bored and I got sleepy. I fell asleep right as Dan asked if she wanted to do something with him. She responded she wanted to play the monster game. I fell asleep before finding out what the monster game is. He ended up playing the game then getting her ready for bed, reading her library books and then tucking her into bed. She wouldn't go to bed without a goodnight kiss from me, which though very gentle, woke me up. A good thing I think because then I got to see what the monster game was. I wish I had my camera so I could show all of you, because apparently the monster game was taking turns drawing monsters. Taped to our foyer wall is a paper and amongst the scribbles on the page are two very clear monsters, one Daddy drew and one Charlotte drew. (The first time she's actually drawn something that I can pick out.) Quite possibly the best part of my week this week.

A New Phase

Charlotte has entered on a new phase of life (read: trying to get her way). She has started completely melting down everytime she doesn't get her way. It isn't the angry shrieking. It's the heartbroken sobs. Sometimes she just starts crying for no reason I can decipher and I don't know how to help her (read: make it stop!).

Yesterday was our first trip to church without Daddy and boy did she take advantage of it. I had to pull her out of the chapel no less than 5 times in a one hour period.

Also, she gets inordinately angry when another child does something that she doesn't like. Apparently she is the boss of her world and anyone just living in it is ruining everything.

I'm at a loss. And also at the end of caring. This too shall pass, right? Right?!

Doctor's Visit

Today was Greggie's nine month check up. Turns out he's healthy and average and just what a baby should be. We got a referral to an allergist for the whole my son is turning into an oompa loompa episode. His stats are as follows:

Height: 27 1/2" 25%
Weight: 20 lb 15 oz 50-75%

So average weight, but kinda short. The weight thing is funny I think because that means he's actually lost weight. I guess it's his frantic efforts to get himself mobile that has made a difference.

Light A Fire

I figured out how to get the cashier at the grocery store check you out at lightening speed. Have your very sick looking almost three year old turn to you and say, "Poo poo Mommy. I need to go now Mommy." To which you frantically look at the half checked out produce and say, "You'll need to hold it until we pay for our food."

Works like magic.

Endurance

About a month ago the woman who coordinates music for our church services asked me if I'd be willing to play a special musical number on my violin for the third Sunday of the month. I agreed happily. After having played the violin for so many years it seems a shame to me to not really have it be a part of my life. It is after all something that I really do love.

I decided that although I could play a song that I already had, I wanted to stretch myself and get something new. Nothing too hard though since I haven't really seriously played in years. I got a piece of music based on a hymn that I love and started practicing. I feel I have learned so much with this process.

Just opening my case reminds me of high school. I spent so very much of my day playing that violin during high school. At least three hours everyday. It is jarring to be so rusty and awkward with something that used to be so familiar. I have spots on the case that I have worn through the fabric and spots on the fingerboard that are worn where my hand shifted up and down. I can remember losing the small decorate pieces of wood on the tuning pegs. I feel like I am going through a treasure hunt of old memories. (I like to pick only the good ones though. Do you do that too?)

Now I can only practice for half an hour before my shoulder, arm and wrist start telling me they've had it. I picked an arrangement that at one time I could have easily played after practicing a couple of times and now I've spent weeks and I still don't feel quite comfortable with everything. Oh it will sound fine, but I want it to sound smooth, and relaxing, and wonderful. I want it to reflect how I feel when I think of the words of that song. I want it to sound like the glassy top of a lake the first thing in the morning.

I don't know if I can come up with anything deep in the meaning of this, but it has been a very touching process for me. Like coming home again.

The Positive Post

Today has been a good day. Crazy, but good. I thought I'd post about some other things I think are good. (No ammount of storytelling could make the story of this day interesting.)

• Putting the last load of laundry in the dryer
• My son's dimple. I think it's funny that he only has one.
• My daughter's curly hair. I am so in love with it, even when she does look like a swamp witch.
• Sleeping in until 7:30. Isn't that extra hour glorious?
• Watching TV with my husband. We haven't had much time for this lately. Actually what we do right now is more like me watching TV while he studies or sleeps, but I count it.
• The ridiculously bad job I did cutting my husbands hair this last time. He doesn't even notice how uneven the thing is!
• My friends here in St. Louis who know exactly what I'm going through, because they're doing it too. It feels so great to be understood.
• Peeling up linoleum tiles on my stairs. It's a great job for in the winter, very warm.
• Ladies lunches
• Goodie plates
• Dog Parks in Denver. You've never seen a dog park until you see a dog park in Denver. I don't even have dogs and I was jealous.
• Cinnamon bagles from The St. Louis Bread Co cut like bread.
• The sick run, which is something I found out about while visiting my sister in Denver. Whenever someone is sick her husband runs to the store to buy any medication, treats, and entertainment they might need. Charlotte came out of the thing with two new books, teddy grahams, goldfish, and saltines. She was in heaven.
• My daughter's 3 year old type comments from the back seat. "Sometimes I cry and it's OK."
• The musical sounds my family make when Daddy comes home from a good day at work.

Happy Friday.

Medical Exchange

Why is it that the only times I really feel like I need to call my pediatrician are either late in the night or on Wednesdays, which also happen to be when the office is closed? Turns out that for most of those situations, not calling ended up being the best mode of action because time worked everything out just fine.

Not today.

Today was my first time in almost three years (can you believe that Charlotte is almost three?) that I've felt the need to call the medical exchange. The medical exchange is a very good thing because they'll connect you with your doctor or another doctor in the group that will answer your urgent questions. Today I had an urgent question.

Don't ask me why or how this happened, but somehow Charlotte's left over mini wheats ended up in the hands of Gregory. When I had seen that this happened, I didn't worry because I figured they were pretty soggy and he wouldn't choke. Then I looked a little closer and noticed that not only was he eating them, he was rubbing them all over his face. Or was it trying to wipe them off his face? I wasn't sure. I picked him up and went to wash his face off when I noticed red blotchy skin everywhere the milk had touched him. I wasn't too worried at first, but I decided to give him a bath and call Daniel. Dan didn't answer his phone. While Greg was in the tub his face went slightly puffy and bumpy. Meanwhile he's trying to wipe any and everything off his face and his eyes are going pink. I could tell that if he could talk he would be saying, "Get it off! Get it off!"

So I called the medical exchange. Greg wasn't having any trouble breathing so his pediatrician just told me to give him a half teaspoon of benedryl. I did and he ended up being fine, but it looks like he may need to do a little allergy testing sometime in his future.

Finally

It took me two hours and an online chat with Randy, the hp technical support guy, and my new best friend, but I can now print things from my new laptop! Yeah! After the page printed and I professed my unending love for Randy, he started explaining what was wrong so I stopped reading what he wrote. The kicker here is that I'm the computer savvy person in my marriage. Makes you nervous, doesn't it.

February

My kids have been sick for almost two weeks now. Yesterday Greg cried/howled so much that he made himself hoarse. I'm feeling a little low on the energy levels and enthusiasm. I was feeling a bit bad about all this, but then I was able to talk to a few friends. As it turns out the February blues seem to be going around. I thought I'd let all of you in on this in case you're feeling a bit similar. You're not alone. So let's all perk up a bit and make a goal. Let's all make it through February in one piece.

Here's hoping your February is going better than ours.

Inspiration

There was a very rude lady bagging groceries in the lane next to mine today. Because of what she said about me I was very embarrassed.

It has taught me to be a little more patient with people and with waiting my turn in line. And also that when I'm past this phase in my life, I will try my best to remember what this phase was like. I will try to always be the woman that stops to tell young mothers how beautiful their kids are. I will tell women who are nine months pregnant that they look tiny. When I'm in the grocery store I will stand behind the young mom, who is trying to go her fastest and get her child home to nap time, which he sorely needs. I will make cute faces at that child and play with that child and get that child to smile. Because as we all know, smiling babies make the world a better place.

Is It Really Brave?

After one day of post vacation wrap up I was bored with that so no more of that. The one thing I did want to write about was my flight home from vacation, which was hell.

First, Greg didn't take a good morning nap.

Second, Charlotte had caught another cold from a little boy in Colorado.

Third, Greg didn't take a good afternoon nap, but he did take one.

Result, one sleepy boy that didn't want to sleep. One hacking girl that might at any time puke all over everyone. She was a very cute time bomb.

Most of the flight went really well considering. I tried to get Greg to sleep while I could, but he didn't want to and then the seat belt sign was turned on and no more of the walking the plane. As the pilot told us we were beginning our dissent into St. Louis Charlotte fell totally asleep and Greg decided to scream. And by scream I mean beet red face, full lung force, screaming. Yes, my child was that child and I was that mom. There was nothing I could do. I tried everything, but nothing helped.

Then we landed amid screams and I had to wake Charlotte up to get off the plane because I can't carry two bags and two kids and make it through the narrow aisle. Make no mistake, I could probably physically carry all that for the short trip to the stroller, but the aisle was in my way. But Charlotte was so very asleep that she would not wake up. Would. not. do. it. When she did wake up she started to cry and then tried to go back to sleep on the seat. So there I am with two children crying and dragging them off the plane. As I strap them into the stroller the other passengers are filing past me staring at the show the three of us are putting on. Every so often a kind woman stops me and says that I shouldn't feel bad, there was nothing I could do, it was unavoidable. Which sort of just makes me feel worse because that means they all know it was me.

Awful. Just awful.

But that wasn't really what I wanted to talk about. What I wanted to talk about was the reaction that I have gotten every time I have traveled without Dan. I hear over and over again how brave I am for doing it alone. Do single mothers get this sort of reaction where ever they go? "You're so brave to be flying with two kids alone!" Did I somehow give off an alone and helpless vibe? Because here's the thing. As bad as that flight was, having Dan around really wouldn't have changed a whole lot. He wouldn't have been allowed to get up and walk the aisle with Greg after the seat belt sign was on. Carrying Charlotte would only have worked for so long. She was sick and just wanted to be in bed. It wasn't a matter of being brave, it was a matter of doing what had to be done. We were in Denver and we needed to be in St. Louis, so we went. It just strikes me as odd is all.

You Mean Like On Vay-Kay?

We're back from vacation #3 in 3 months. Sadly, I couldn't take any photos of this one because when unpacking from vacation #2 I stored the battery charger some place really safe and now it's missing and the battery died. So no photos. So now I'm going to have to write everything down. Lucky you.

First, I forgot to bring with us the object d'art my daughter made for her aunt and uncle and when she realized it she was sad and "frustrated" with me. So we ended up using markers on the plane to create another piece of art on the air sickness bag. Katie and the ear doctor loved it. It's on their fridge.

On Thursday we went to the Denver Children's Museum. If we lived there I would probably get a membership because it is awesome for kids Charlotte's age. Charlotte's favorite part was probably the 4 and under section with small houses that she got to play in. Greg also loved that section. Well, I'm guessing he did because that's where he decided to start moving his feet in a forward direction! You got it. He has always liked standing, but previous to last Thursday he didn't even really lift his feet up. Then Thursday he decided to start moving around.

He's pretty cute all wobbly and hanging from my hands sometimes, but clearly moving toward a target. As soon as I can find the battery charger I'm going to share a movie with everyone because now all he wants to do is walk from toy to toy. Not very good for mommy's back.

I think that's it for today.

A Reminder

After yesterdays post, I thought I'd share a little of what I read that was 100% what I needed to hear. So here it is.

Sleepy

I probably shouldn't post right now because I'm tired. I'm very tired and that's all I can think about. tired.tired.tired. Saturday I woke up thinking, "Today's the day my house will be rid of wallpaper. I will not stand for it one more day." So I spent the entire day doing just that. And NOTHING else. I'd like to tell you all that I'm very proud of my victory over the wallpaper. In fact the paper in the kids room practically fell off on its own in defeat. Then Sunday came around and I can't bring myself to do anything but the bare minimum on Sunday. (Interpret that however you want.) So today I woke up thinking, "Oh crap, I've got a lot of cleaning, organizing, and packing to do before Wednesday." Or at least that's what I would have been thinking had I woken up on my own.

What really happened was that my son has decided that if Dad's up, so is he. He has awakened at 5:30 everyday for a week. Up until today Dan's been gone out of the house by then, but not this morning. Mostly I just ignore the cries for as long as it takes him to quit and go back to sleep, which he generally does within 15-60 minutes of the initial cries. Today however, not only did he wake up, but so did Charlotte, and so did the cat, and Dan didn't leave quite so early so they never went back to sleep. We all started our days at 5:30. So I can't really write what I was thinking when I woke up this morning because it's not something I would ever say out loud.

So then I got working on cleaning the house and do you know how hard it is to clean the house when every half hour or so you have to stop and take at least 10 minutes to entertain the kids? I've spent all day cleaning and I've only touched the upstairs, but you should see the beauty that is my bedroom. My sanctuary as I like to call it. Oh, but if you saw the kitchen. I'll get to that next, right after my nap.

Family Date Night

Today Daniel unexpectedly came home from the hospital early. Two hours early! I knew I had to jump on that opportunity for time with him before he decided that the best use of his time would be to sleep. (Probably it would be the best use at this point, but he's strong. He can handle sleeplessness.) I quickly came up with four options for a family activity for us to do.

1. Go miniature golfing.
2. Go to The Magic House.
3. Go to Monkey Joes.
4. Go to the Mall and let Charlotte run around the indoor play area.

After an hour of hemming and hawing, guess which one he chose? If you guessed #4 you win. Pat yourself on the back for knowing how my husband's two top priorities are: to not spend money and to run around the least ammount.

It ended up being such a wonderful family date night. Charlotte played to her hearts content and then we walked around a sporting goods store where she played some more. Dan and I got to talk about stuff, and Greg has decided that he likes to flip backwards off my lap. He does this while I'm holding his hands. On our way out we walked through Nordstrom where I happened upon a wonderful little hat that was on sale. So I decided to take some of my Christmas money and buy it. It is really cute and I'm happy. Dan said, "I thought you didn't wear hats." I told him, "I don't wear them because I don't have them." So now that I have one I'm going to have to experiment with it.

Choices

I'm really sad that Charlotte can't have all her clothing when we go on vacation. This is because with the restricted choices that I pack for her she ends up being fairly well put together most days. This does not reflect her typical awesome clothing choices at home. For example, we went to the Magic House the other day and as I looked around at all the other little girls there I felt a little chagrin at what my daughter was wearing. Among all the matching outfits with tights, boots and matching hair bows was my daughter. That morning she had chosen to wear a long sleeve off white shirt under a bright white T-shirt with little hearts on it. Did I mention the short sleeve shirt was backwards? Oh! Also she wanted to wear brown pants and since her brown pants were in the wash she decided to take another pair of pants and turn them inside out so the brown was showing, along with all the seams and the tag which was in the front because she insisted on wearing that backwards too.

Today at least everything is on right side out and forward. It is a hot pink dress with red pants on, but that's not bad right? The bad part was her insistence on wearing the purple hat with it.

Am I a bad mom because I don't really want to fight over clothing? There are just so many, many other things I do have to struggle about. My entire day feels a little like one long negotiation wherein I'm trying my best not to loose my patience. I do take a stand on Sundays and for photos, but other than that I figure I've got it made when she's actually wearing clothing.

Karma

When I was little, I want to say in the neighborhood of 5, my sister and I did a bad thing. A very bad thing. While my parents were busy with something else we got out a 5 gallon jug of honey and decided to give ourselves a snack. Did I mention our snack was a five gallon jug of honey? Seriously what were my parents thinking having something like that lying around? It seemed pretty innocent in our minds-or maybe just mine, I can't speak for she who got me into every danger of my childhood. By the time my mother caught us we were shoulder deep in honey and had pet the dog several times. Honey everywhere. Needless to say the incident has made its way to family lore.

Well, this morning karma came and bit me hard. Our breakfast routine has pretty much cemented itself over the last year. I get the bowls, vitamins and place mats ready while Charlotte gets the cereal out of the pantry. As I was getting the vitamins ready I heard a pretty loud thud, but as there was no accompanying crying I ignored it. Big mistake. By the time I found out that Charlotte had knocked the 5 lb (80 oz) jug of honey off the shelf and the lid had flown off, half the contents were on the floor. At that point, or perhaps after I had it cleaned up, I kind of smiled to myself. What goes around comes around I guess. At least it wasn't on the child, or any dogs.

The First Photo

For Christmas Daniel's parents gave us a new computer and I love it. It if didn't break it I would pour chocolate sauce over it and eat it I love it so much. Today I just downloaded our Christmas and winter photos off my camera onto the computer. Here are a few of them to remind me that we are managing to have some fun along the way.
Sledding down our front yard.
After Charlotte made her snow angel she made mommy and daddy make them too. She also insisted on wearing the 12-18 month size snow suit. It was pretty funny on her.

Snow fight with Daddy.

Christmas Day. Greg sure does love these balls.

Charlotte loves to dress up. She got to be a construction worker with her Christmas presents.

Snow Day 2

Yesterday, after it snowed through the night, we ended up with 3-5 inches, in my estimation. You know what that means? What it means is no school. If there is no school some smart (read: despirate) mommy sends her school aged child out the door with a smart attempt at earning money. What that leads to is said child bundled up carrying a garden shovel asking if I want my steps shoveled. They'd gladly shovel them for the sum of $10. And when faced with the cute faced, industrious, little bamboozler I cave and say sure. Then about 15 minutes later I'm out $10 and only half the steps shoveled and the sidewalk not even touched.

To sidestep this entire situation I got out first thing in the morning and shoveled the darn things myself. Then the little sharks wouldn't even come knocking on my door. As I was doing this a neighbor from a few houses down was dusting off her car to leave for the day. On her way back inside she remarks to me, "Not just a man's job is it?" I laughed and agreed with her, and then got to thinking. As I went to the back of the house to shovel a pathway to our car I decided that there are very few jobs in our house that are strictly "man's jobs." In order to be a totally Daniel's job I have to hate doing it enough and be able to and step around it long enough for him to do it when he gets home from the hospital. Which has slowly cut down on the jobs I consider just for him. It used to be taking out the garbage, puke, and dead animals, but none of those things can I step around if they crop up during the day. I just have to suck it up and do them. Sure he does the bulk of those jobs, but they surly aren't just man's jobs. So are there any of you out there with "man's jobs" in your relationship?

Back in the Saddle

Well, with the first week of surgical rotation under our belt, I figured I'd tell you all how it's going. Daniel loves it. He came home the other day delighted because he actually got to scrub in on a pediatric orthopedic case. It was a trauma case, so a little tragic, but also pretty awesome on a learning sort of perspective and also it sounds as though the patient will be able to make a full recovery after some time.

On the home front it's been a little difficult. Mostly because it's giving me a taste of whats to come. It's hard, but we're making it through. On top of him not being home I've got a stinking cold and a deep bruise in my foot where I think I must have stepped on some sort of toy. So I'm limping around the house with my head about to explode. On the plus side I've cleaned out the sewing room and put toys in it. Yesterday Charlotte, Greg and I spent an hour in there playing with a few of our old toys. When I said it was time for Greg to take a nap and me to go Charlotte said, "But I don't want to go! I love my playroom!" Which I thought was pretty funny because it was all our old toys. Hopefully I'll be able to organize all the displaced items soon. With my hurt foot and all it might take me a while though.

Crazy

My mother was crazy. I thought a few months ago as I stood at the kitchen sink hand washing the last of the pots and pans from dinner. I had just made a dinner to be proud of, two vegetable sides, a main dish that turned out nicely, and even a little something for dessert. It had taken a long time to create, but was oh so good. Greg was now in bed dreaming his baby dreams and I was half listening to Daniel read a story to Charlotte and half thinking my own thoughts about how my mom was crazy. I love listening to him read to her or play with her or teach her something. Lately he's been trying to give her a little Spanish vocabulary. He'll say para agua (or however you spell umbrella in Spanish) and she'll repeat palalala.

Back to my point though, my mom's crazy. I had recently been made aware of what is apparently a common debate in marriages, that being whether dirty dishes go on the counter or in the sink, and my total ignorance of this debate I put squarely on my mom's shoulders. You see in my family growing up neither of those options were acceptable. Dirty dishes went in the dishwasher. If it was full you would empty it in order to get your dirty dish in. If it wouldn't fit into the dirty dishwasher you hand washed it. In fact once I remember being on vacation at my cousins' house and my aunt upon finding a dirty cereal bowl in the sink heatedly asking my cousins, "When is is OK to put a dirty dish in the sink?" And trying my very best to telepathically give them the right answer never, never, NEVER. And then they said, "When the dishwasher is full." Wherein beatings commenced.

So there I am at the sink, the dishwasher swooshing away merrily with its cleaning job, finishing putting away the last of the dried pots and pans (because a job isn't done until the last tool is put away), and generally cleaning the kitchen. The stove top is sparkling and the floor is swept. I'm feeling pretty good about my job and thinking about how my mom was crazy about overreacting to having to do so many dishes. Though it had taken me almost an hour to get the kitchen to this height of cleanliness I actually had been enjoying myself. It had been kind of nice to have the moment alone.

Afterward, Daniel got Charlotte ready for bed and I collapsed, exhausted from the day's tasks into the recliner. As I looked around I noticed that the books hadn't been put away, but that's no big deal, and the blankets hadn't been folded, but again not that hard to fix. So I get up and fix them. Dan comes down to do some research on the computer and I decide to go into my sparkling kitchen to get a glass of water.

On entering the kitchen I get so much more than a glass of water. I come to have a greater understanding of the eye twitch that my mom would sometimes get when provoked. Right there in the middle of the spotless counter, my daughter had left a spilled cup of juice. And as my eye started twitching I realized, yes, my mother was crazy, and I made her that way!

The Aftermath

We made it through the holidays and now we're back. Charlotte stayed up until 1:30 AM last night because we got in late, but other than that we mostly feel normal. Our Christmas vacation was unbelievably awesome. I actually had time to spend with my husband. Since we don't usually get that I sometimes forget how awesome and fun he is to spend time with. We basically spent two weeks watching HGTV and let me tell you there is nothing like spending two weeks of beautiful homes, and remodel homes, and homes to sell to give you the renovate, redecorate bug. My new jobs I've decided to do are:

• Finish taking down the stinking wall paper finally! You'd think I could finish that project, but since I'm almost done with it I somehow feel like it will perhaps finally declare defeat and jump off the wall by itself.
• Rip up the linoleum on the stairs. And also the metal treads. I've wanted this done for a while, but it has never been to the top of my list. I guess it still isn't, but I would like to have it done.
• And finally I'd like to repurpose the sewing room. Let's face it, I haven't done any serious sewing in a while. What I'd like to do is transform it into a play room that could also give me easy access to set up sewing if I would like. Mostly I feel like we have this wonderful space that has a door closed to it all day every day and we could really use that space.
• Also, and this is totally optional, I would love to sew a quilt for our queen bed that is about a foot wider than either of the quilts we currently use on it. Since neither quilt was sewn for a queen size bed, it's probably time to get cracking on that one.

More on these projects to come. (Hopefully)

Dance As If No One Were Watching

A few nights ago Grandma and Grandpa took all of us to see The Princess and The Frog and it is a very good movie. Perhaps my favorite part was during one really exciting jazzy song my daughter turns to me and loudly whispers, "Hold my popcorn. I need to dance!" Then proceeds to give me her popcorn and dances right there in front of her seat in the movie theater. She then danced again at the very end of the movie. So it was a big hit for our family.

Out Of Commission

Sorry for the looooong lack of posts. Our pretty new, sleek laptop broke. I took it in and as it turns out that enter key Greg pulled off ended up messing up the whole keyboard and the LCD screen also needs a total replacement. I swear we didn't do anything to it, but hp swears that's the only way this could have happened. So now we're waiting on the parts and everything. I had to get out our old laptop. This thing has serious issues that make it rather impossible to do anything. So I'll probably be unplugged until the new one returns home.

Terrifying

Today Charlotte went to the dentist for the first time, which is so not the terrifying part to this post. In fact I enjoy going to the dentist very much. But that's where the story begins. We were going to the dentist. Our neighborhood is set up very much like a lot of city neighborhoods were around the time it was built. The houses ring a block that has an alley intersecting it so our backyard looks onto our across the alley neighbor's backyard. That alley way is the access to people's garages or parking pads so you don't have to park on the street and worry about getting parking tickets each month during street cleaning day. Who can even remember when street cleaning day is? I can't so I'm really glad we have an alley and back parking area. I like the set up a lot. In fact it has facilitated me getting to know a whole slew of neighbors that I normally wouldn't have seen and quite a few handymen/maintenance guys that regularly use the alley for access to whatever house they're working on. But none of this is the terrifying part to my day. Back to the story.

I backed out of our parking pad and then pulled forward so that I could get out and close our gate. As I did this I noticed some man walking a ways further down the alley. I thought nothing of it because people use the alleys as short cuts all the time. So I put the car in park and jump out to close the gate.

When the gate is closed I turn and look towards my car to get back in it, but said man who I thought was much further down the alley is now loitering at the front passenger side bumper of my car. As I step toward the car he walks across the front of my car and starts sauntering down the driver's side of the car. Of the running car that my children are strapped into. My stomach flips upside down and my heart is in my throat when I casually say, "Hey." Usually when I say that even people who I previously thought were shady will say "How you doin?" and suddenly turn friendly. Not this scary man. He just keeps sauntering down the car looking in it and then down the alley ahead of him and then back in it.

I have made it to the back of my car and would have advanced into the driver's seat but for this figure who makes no motion to show he even sees me. Luckily he doesn't decide to steal the car and kidnap the kids. And I receive a momentary lull in terror. Then as he reaches the end of the car he drifts back to the center of the alley, which means he's heading in my direction. What am I going to do? Just as I'm in full panic mode he walks on.

What was going to happen? If the kids hadn't been in the car would I still have a car? What if he had taken my babies? What if he had attacked me? What if he was just on some sort of drugs? I have no idea, but as I got into the car my whole body was shaking from our brush with disaster.

**UPDATE**
After reading comments I just thought I'd add that I DO feel safe in my home and on my alley. I know who my neighbors are and our neighborhood. The city of St. Louis is big and noisy and diverse, but I have grown to enjoy it quite a lot. Moving here I have had to learn to really listen to my instincts about people to avoid and when to realize what I'm feeling is just preconceived fear of the unknown. I don't think that it would be a good idea to let one crazy experience in our alley jade me against living here. My more important lesson is to not be in such a hurry that I don't analyse any situation.

As far as hand guns or any other weapons I personally wouldn't feel comfortable carry them on my person. Also, I can't ever see myself feeling comfortable shooting anyone, ever. For me I think it would be good to practice and get comfortable using self defense of some nature. Or I could get my mom's T-ball bat and wear it as a necklace? If you want to carry a weapon, more power to you, but its just not for me.

Warm Fuzzies

There are probably about a billion better things you could be reading right now, but I just wanted to take a minute to tell everyone how much I love my husband at Christmastime. He loves Christmas. He loves everything about it and wishes it would snow every year for him. Unless you know him very well you would never know he is so passionate about the season because he has a very quiet, subtle passion. But when you know it seems like a little secret you share with him and the others that know him and it adds so much to the holiday spirit. I catch him humming "It's the most wonderful time of the year!" in his little hum all the time and I just love it. I love how he's instilling that joy and excitement into our kids. I also loved listening him tell Charlotte the Christmas story the other night while doing dishes.

Tonight, even though he has to take the shelf exam on Friday, when I asked that we drive around the town to look at Christmas lights he agreed. Also, when I started singing Christmas songs in the car (something I'm sure my sister would have said, "let's listen to the professionals" to) he chimed in and the two of us key surfed our way through a half hour of the songs. He even suggested some of his own. No wonder Charlotte loves to sing in the car. (Her favorite one right now is the "pum pum song" which is The Little Drummer Boy. After days of singing this song over and over she asked us tonight if the boy was "hitting his head" which put an interesting new twist to the song.)

I am just amazed at what a wonderful leader he is for our family and I love him for it.

What's Not Getting Done

When I came back from Thanksgiving break I realized that I had litterally two weeks to "do Christmas" at our house before heading back to family for the holiday. And you want to know what happens when you have a two year old, a six month old, and two weeks to get everything in? A lot of stuff doesn't get done. Because I hosted Joy School this week, and went to the library story time that Charlotte loves, and cleaned up after three accidents in the bathroom, and other errands that I do on a regular and an irregular basis we didn't make Christmas cookies. In fact, Daniel made us some peanut butter cookies with mini kisses in them and I think we might call that good. Since next week we have Christmas parties, finishing making some presents, more Joy School festivites, dentist appointments, flu shot boosters, Daniel taking the shelft, Music Makers and getting ready for vacation errands I probably wont be doing extra stuff then either. We're pretty lucky we have our decorations up at all. Most of what I'm not doing is stuff I didn't want to do anyway, but there's one thing I'm pretty sad I'm not fitting in. I'm not doing Christmas cards this year. After we went and got great family photos and everything. I just can't fit it in. So Merry Christmas to everyone I love.

In His "Off Time"

Just look at what my sweet husband installed last weekend!

First the before:


The fireplace surround is cement pressed into a broken brick pattern and then painted red.

And then the after:


Doesn't it look beautiful? In case you can't see it we picked 3"x6" travertine tiles with smaller tiles as accents. Then Daniel, who is incapable of just doing something plain, installed the tiles on the floor in a herringbone pattern. We ended up with only 4 tiles to spare. Pretty good judgement I'd say. Also, he installed a working, ventless gas log insert! It is so much fun to actually have a fire in our fireplace!

A Popular Subject

Wow! I guess a lot of you liked the last subject so I guess I'll flush out our thoughts on residency a little more. Dan wants to go into Orthopedics and is thinking of maybe specializing in either knee and hip replacement or pediatric orthopedics. Those specializing opportunities sort of color our preferences for residency since he'd need to do a year fellowship in pediatrics if that's the route he wanted to go. It would be really nice to have a year fellowship at the same place as his residency since we wouldn't really want to move our kids that much, but then again kids bounce back and he's not totally sold on the pediatric business.

Keep in mind that Dan has a list of somewhere in the neighborhood of 30 programs he's going to apply for. I once made the mistake of asking him where they all were, but then stopped listening at around 15. There's just too many possibilities and we really have very little say over where we end up. That's why I've chosen to focus on three. Three seems to be the number that my brain can actually handle.

Anyway, Daniel talked to his advisor after she'd met with someone from University of Colorado and she said it was sort of a long shot for him, even with his good board score and grades. There's just a lot of applicants and there's only really two spots open for students who didn't go there for medical school. She said though if we even wanted a shot at all he'd have to do an away rotation there. We'd really like to live in Denver because it's close to my sister and easily within driving distance to Dan's brother. We could also drive to other extended family on both sides even though that would be a long drive. Also, they have a pediatric fellowship and Daniel really likes how the residency program is set up. Knowing nothing about the programs I have no comment on that. On top of that Colorado is awesome.

She also raised concern about U of U. It is a little less difficult to get in, but, like Janelle said in the comments, their reputation is to stay away from our demographic (that being married with children and active in the Latter-Day Saint religion). Luckily Daniel didn't attend BYU as an undergrad because we've heard they really shy away from those students. I have no idea anything about the program other than Dan said it was "really good." We'd like to be in Salt Lake because it's fairly central to both sides of our extended family. Plus, I have a Grandma in Salt Lake that I'd really like to be able to live close to for health reasons.

The Mayo Clinic is also very competitive program, but each year a few students from Daniel's medical school go there for residency. They don't have a pediatric fellowship though so that's one drawback. But Daniel pretty much loves the way their program is set up. It has a lot of one on one instruction. I have heard NOTHING but positive reviews from people who have lived or vacationed there. Everyone loves it. The only cause for concern is that I looked Rochester up in my gardening book and it has the same climate zone as Siberia. SIBERIA! My husband is thinking of taking our family up to Siberia to become frozen Popsicles. He knows what a wimp I am.

So last night after reading the email from his advisor Dan said, "I guess I'm going to have to ask her what she thinks isn't a long shot for me."

Pushing Ahead

We're about halfway through third year in medical school and do you know what that means? Well neither do I when it comes to the actual schooling aspect of medical school. I guess my question should have been, do you know what that means for me? because honestly, that's way more interesting than say plugged sweat glands. Which, by the way, if Daniel ever starts to talk about those you should plug your ears and run away. At first you might think it could be one of those gross but oddly captivating stories. Then you realize that you just wish you didn't know what you now know. Trust me on this one. Saddly I know what I'm talking about.

Back to the point. Half way through third year. What happens now is that everyone starts seriously thinking and talking about where they want to apply for residency, where they want to realistically live for residency, where they'd be OK with living for residency, where they would rather poke their eyes out, but would live anyway if that's where they got matched to in residency. You know why all our friends are talking about this? Because next year they do away rotations, which is basically a month long interview where the program gets to see you at your very worst because you're still learning this stuff, but you want to make a good impression. Good luck with that one Sweetie.

Anyway, the point here is that we're talking and thinking and looking forward to moving, but we're still not done with our projects here! Or maybe that's not the point I was meaning to make, but it doesn't matter because it certainly is true. Maybe I'm seeing all these projects and getting a little panicky because I got home from vacation last night to realize that I have literally two weeks to get all our holiday stuff done before going back on vacation. Aaaaahhh!

I remember what my point was supposed to be now. My point was that I was thinking about all these places to live and realized that it doesn't really matter to me where we live as much as I previously thought it would. I think I can say with pretty good confidence now that I have lived in a variety of places in the US. Corvallis, OR-small college town filled with big-store hating, tree loving outdoorspeople. Clarkston, UT-filled with, well I don't think you can say that any place that has a population of 750 is "filled" but mostly you've got farmers. Spokane, WA- good sized city in the northwest, pretty average America I'd say. St. Louis, MO- big city. Lots of people. Lots of differences.

Anyway, I can pretty much say that I have loved every place I've lived in. Truly loved them all. Mostly people who know me can't believe that I spent a year living in a single wide in the middle of nowhere, but I loved that too. The middle of nowhere has great people living in it. So does St. Louis. I love the sights and sounds of the city. I love the sights and sounds of the country. I love it all. So I guess it doesn't really matter where we end up for residency.

PS. But just for the curious. As of right now the tops of our list for away rotation applications are:

• Mayo clinic in Rochester, MN
• University of Colorado in Denver, CO
• University of Utah in Salt Lake City, UT

Travelling Alone....Sort of

Our flight left at 6 AM, meaning we had to be at the airport at 5 AM, meaning I had to get my two children out of the house by 4:30 AM. Torture, but that's what you do for family. Plus, my daughter's excitement to see Grandma pretty much made up for it.

I had packed cereal cups to eat for breakfast and when we got through security I bought milk. We made our way down to the gate and I opened up Charlotte's cereal and got her settled as a man came up to gate check the stroller. He said we'd have about 20 minutes tops to eat our breakfast. I figured that would be fine. That is until Charlotte looks up to me and says the words every potty trained child inexplicably knows to say at just the wrong time, "Pee pee Mommy."

I look around at all the carry-ons that we had set down and rifled through to get breakfast out and wildly tried to think of a way to get all of them, our stroller, and us down one story to the bathrooms, have her go and be back up in time to eat breakfast before we had to board. My mind quickly ground to a halt, realizing that there was no conceivable way this could be done. I'm there mumbling, "pee pee...uh.....pee pee. Ok, hmm..." when a wonderful good Samaritan stepped in. A young woman sitting next to us heard the whole interchange and said, "I know I'm a stranger, but I can stay with your baby while you take her to the bathroom." Without even thinking I said, "Thank you!" Took Charlotte and ran. I got her squared away and back in enough time for her to finish her Lucky Charms and run right onto the plane. It wasn't until we were in the air that I realized I probably should have been a little more wary, but sometimes you just have to rely on the kindness of strangers and I am so very thankful.

Other than that our trip was surprisingly uneventful. Greg slept through over half of both flights and Charlotte only got antsy about getting out of her seat about half an hour from the end. Greg did like to do short, loud yells so that people would look at him, which was slightly embarrassing, but at least he wasn't awake for very long and also he wasn't screaming his head off.

So we're here at Grandma's house and settled in. Now if we could just adjust to the two hour time zone difference.

Pajamas

This Saturday my two children and I will be flying across country without the aid of my husband. Our plane leaves at around 6 AM. Any suggestions? Also, do I even worry about the fact that my two almost three year old will be in her pajamas all day?

Daddy's Little Girl

A while back a friend of mine whose hobby is photography asked if she could try her hand at photographing a family, our family. I said sure. We went out last Friday. She just sent me a link to the album she created for us. I think they look awesome and I'm sure we will use one for our Christmas cards. Then I got to see the last one in the album and my brain practically exploded with how beautiful it was.

Thank you so much Kara!

The Stats And Another Funny Quote

We had Greg's six month check-up.

Height: 26 1/2" (50%)
Weight: 20 lbs 2 oz (90%)

So he's not extremely tall, but boy does he pack a punch! The doctor said that what Charlotte had last week was most likely H1N1 which actually gave me a little relief from worry. I'll probably still vaccinate her, but I don't have to worry so much about our air travel during the holidays. (Note: If you are thinking of commenting on how I might still want to worry, don't.)

Dan is currently on family practice rotation which is an absolute dream for the family. He has breakfast with us and is home for dinner. He only works a half day Mondays (he spends the other half studying though). And get this! He only has to work every other Friday. AWESOME. So last weekend since he got housework in on Friday we all went out Saturday late afternoon and evening to the zoo. We let Charlotte pick where we went so we went to the bird house, which she has taken a fancy to lately. As we were going by each cage she would ask me what the bird was and why this bird couldn't get out ("I told you the last time. The wires keep the bird in.") Then we came up to some guinea foul of some variety and instead of asking the kind of bird she says, "That's a pirate bird, Mommy." Who knew?

Glad It Happened Now

Guess who turns into a banshee screaming zombie when he teethes? For a solid 48 hours nobody slept in our house. The only positive I can think to this situation is at least it happened now and not say on the airplane on the way to vacation.

Also, Dan put in light switches upstairs! Honest to goodness hard wired light switches. For all the lights. And he's in the middle of installing a fan light for the bathroom! It's amazing how much you appreciate the simple things.

Also, Dan uttered the phrase I have been waiting for a year for him to say a few days ago. After he finished the last light switch box he turned to me and said, "I think I'd be OK with buying a newer house next time." Yahtzee! It's a whole lot easier to do voluntary projects to give your home "character" than it is to fix plaster walls, re-plumb the bathroom, and wire and entire floor.

Caution: May Impair Judgement

When your six month old only takes a total of an hour and twenty minutes of nap in a day, then by dinner you may have this happen. I've entitled this one "fine then eat it yourself."

And this one Charlotte named "My project"

Wishing for Photographic Evidence

In my ongoing battle against the trumpet vine suckers that keep popping up into my vegetable garden I hit a new high and a new low today. You see after going to the botanical gardens last week and seeing how perfectly their vegetable beds had been cleared and readied for winter I decided I had better take the opportunity this nice weather is giving me and do the same. The more I work now, the easier it will be in the spring right?

So I started digging up the overgrown weeds and ends of the vegetable plants last week. Turns out we had loads of carrots in there that I knew nothing about. That's what you get when you let a two year old plant the seeds for you.

It's been pretty slow going. Not because of the leaves that have fallen on top of everything or the grass that has encroached the withered pumpkin vine, but because of the evil trumpet vine. You heard me. EVIL. They must have powers from the devil since they seem impervious to roundup!

Anyway, today I went out thinking I'd at least get another one foot strip done in the thing. I came upon five trumpet vine shoots coming out of the ground together. It has been my experience if I just dig deep enough all those shoots will eventually converge onto one root stem that I can then pull out. So I dug and I dug and I dug (or is it digged?) until I hit what I thought was a huge rock. I showed it to Daniel as he was leaving for work (he's in family medicine right now) and he said that it wasn't a rock, but the root and I should just try to wedge the shovel under it. Well, it took me another 15 minutes to get the right leverage, but then the beauty came up!

Picture this if you will: two feet long, three inches in diameter, a foot and a half underground. I had dug up a LOG! Well, not really a log, it was indeed the root for the trumpet vine. In my heart I felt victory, and defeat. I had truly unearthed a huge part of the problem, but if that's how big the root for five tiny vines was I am in real trouble. I will never win to this plant. It will eventually overtake the lawn, and then start creeping up the walk to the deck. Finally it will engulf the entire house and we will never be able to step foot out the front door. Good news, we're moving before that could ever happen.

Oh and picture this as well: Charlotte was delighted when I finally got the log out of the ground because she could then fit herself into the hole in the ground. She called it her chair. She sat in her chair and found a worm coming out of one of the clumps of dirt she covered her skirt with. She uncharacteristically picked the worm up and called it her pet. Boy was she really miffed when I told her that she needed to get out of it so I could fill it in.

6 months

Today my son is six months old. Can you believe that? I sure can't. In the future when people ask me how third year in medical school went I will say quickly.

Charlotte came down with a fever last Saturday night and it hasn't really left her yet. I thought it had, then she woke up from her nap today with a return of the fever. I waited an hour thinking maybe she was just hot from sleeping, but it never went away. YUCK.

Then last night when Dan went to get Greg so I could feed him before going to bed we discovered that he had been throwing up on himself. When he picked the little guy up we realized Greg wasn't asleep, he just wasn't wanting to move his body at all. He didn't want to hold his head up or lift his arms and he didn't want to nurse. Or have his pacifier in his mouth. Or take tylenol. When we got it in him he threw it up 2 minutes later. You could tell Greg was scared too because of the look on his face as his body was heaving. I was really scared and I knew it was bad because Daniel was really scared too. Turns out this morning he's fine, but that was pretty much the scariest thing that's happened with him so far. Nothing equates to the fear you feel when your infant is sick and scared in the middle of the night.

Chicken N Dumplings

Last night I made chicken and dumpling stew. It was wonderful. I love dumplings. love. love. love. Charlotte I thought would love them too since they're mostly just flour, which she has taken to eating all by itself lately (gross). She didn't.

Dan: "Charlotte you need to finish your dumpling."
Charlotte: "No I don't."
Dan: "You need to eat three bites of carrot and two bites of chicken then. And be done with that sass."
Charlotte: "I'm not done with the sass yet."

I'm pretty sure she wasn't really clear on what sass was, but it sounded much better than chicken or carrot.

To Be Human Again

Boy it's sad when the titles of your posts come from Disney. Oh well. I do feel human again. And you know why? I slept. I slept and slept and slept. And the family rejoiced. Or at least the husband portion of it anyway. I'm fairly certain the child portion doesn't register much in the way of the mommy portion. Except one funny conversation that my daughter had with a friend of mine who was watching her.

Charlotte: "What's wrong with your finger?"

Friend: "I burned it."

Charlotte: "When Mommy burns sheself she gets mad."

And it's so very true. So at least she notices some things.

Our Halloween went well. (I was going to try to segue that, but I couldn't think of anything. So I decided you could just follow me along.) Charlotte was perhaps the quietest lion you have ever seen and Greg was a ghost.

She wouldn't let me comb out her hair to be the mane which was the crowning part of the cotume, but she's two and a half so, whatever.Apparently the best part of his costume was his ability to eat it.

I'm the only one in the family not in a costume. Daniel went as a logger. When an hour went by and nobody asked him what he was I told him that proved you can't just wear your normal clothing and call it a costume (even if your clothing is a costume for other people).

And because I got such a great response (thanks Grandma Jane and Grandpa Mel) to the other two videos I posted, here's another little one. I like to call it Guarding the Pumpkin.

Conspiracy Theory

My family is trying to kill me. Do I have hard evidence of that? No. But I give you my reasoning:

Why would my sweet child, who had previously been sleeping at least 5 hours at a time if not 7, suddenly decide to revert back to 3?

Why would my husband have to work evening shift last week and then night shift this week at the hospital catching babies? Or is he just saying he has to work, but really he's in cahoots with the non sleeping child? Maybe he's going over to someone else's house. Someone who has a sleeping child. Then he comes back home at 8 AM and goes back to bed to sleep for six more hours just to throw me off the scent.

Why would my sweet older child decide to get sick right at the same time? Requiring me to wake up multiple times a night and get her water so she doesn't cough until she throws up. This means I have gotten no more than two hours of sleep at a time.

Why also would my sweet child decide that he no longer can self soothe when waking up too early from his afternoon nap? Then my dear husband doesn't know how to soothe him so I must then wake up from the only nap I've had in DAYS in order to get said child back to sleep.

Then to top it all off, I'm awake from soothing said child so I pick up the house. Dear husband doesn't want me to get too suspicious so he helps pick up the house. Then what does dear husband do? Goes to sleep!

You may say that I'm crazy. You may say that all of these just happen to coincide at the same time. But I know the truth. They're slowly but surely trying to kill me.

It's A Pack Pack

We went shopping on Saturday and Charlotte found another thing she's in love with. I took a video.

She wore it around Eddie Bauer for a good five minutes before we made her take it off.

Strange things my daugher loves:

• Unsharpened pencils
• Buckets
• Water bottles
• Rulers
• Pack Packs

The TV-Or Why My Kid Doesn't Sleep

After having my child for two almost three years now I've finally noticed a correlation between her sleeping habits and the TV. Contrary to what I would believe there does not seem to be any correlation between the total amount of TV she watches and her ability to fall asleep. The correlation happens between when she watches and when I want to put her down. I already had a sort of amount of TV limitation (nothing concrete), but recently I have enacted a time of day limit on TV and it has done wonders in our household.

1. No TV until after you are up and ready for the day (clothing on, hair done, teeth brushed, bed made)
2. No TV between lunch and nap time (Usually about an hour of time there)
3. No TV after dinner (About an hour and a half before bed)

It is amazing the difference in her ability to go down. With this and some other slight changes in her bedtime routine I have discovered peace in our home at bed time. So why did it take me so long to figure this out? Why the difference in bed time? Does the TV way over stimulate her for when she needs to sleep? I have no idea. All I know is that I'm so very happy with the result.

How To Cross The Street

There are a few perks to Charlotte being in Joy School. One of my favorites is hearing what she's learning come up at home. ("You mean milk comes from cows?") One day she went on a field trip to the park. While there, the mom that was teaching talked about crosswalks and what they're used for and how to be safe around the road. A few nights later Daniel took her to his school with him to pick up a book from a friend. When they came back he told me that they encountered a crosswalk on their way from the car to the library and this is what Charlotte told her father:

Charlotte: "Are we crossing a road in a crosswalk?"
Daniel: "Yes."
Charlotte: "And do I need to hold mommy and or daddy's hand?"

I stinking love my little sponge!

Definitions

A few nights ago Charlotte was getting out of the bath. Mixed in with her constant verbal commentary on everything in her life she said,

"Greggie is Mommy's little guy and Daddy's son."

I thought that was really cute.

Solidarity

I had to run to the grocery store today, which I hate. Mostly its just annoying because I wasn't planning on going to the grocery store until tomorrow, but we ran out of milk. Our house without milk is probably the worst thing that could happen. Right up there with flood, fire, and not enough sleep. So I took my kids to the grocery store in the middle of the afternoon without a shopping list against my better judgement. Charlotte hadn't had a nap so I knew things weren't going to go well. Things went just about as well as I had predicted so when we got to the check out I told her that no I wasn't going to get her any treat. This leads me to ask why to grocers want to torture mothers? Candy? Where I can't have any distraction? This forces me to make the decision every time whether I'm going to fight that fight. Also? Why on earth would they put out the car shopping carts? Because if they don't happen to have a car cart handy then my daughter throws a fit. And if they do have a car cart handy she spends the entire time hopping in and out of the thing. I think they should have a wide load sign on them too since they can't turn right when you want them. So you end up running into things when you don't mean to.

Anyway, I had told her that she couldn't have a treat and that was pretty much the last straw for a no-nap little girl. She hit me. Which is never OK so I picked her up and held her until the checker was finished with all my items. Why are checkers always slower when your kid is acting up? Are they trained to go slower with the idea that you will finally give in and buy that stinking candy? Raising sales? It didn't work with me. I was holding her and she was screaming and I could feel my face getting redder and redder and then I look back at the couple behind me. They are both smiling. I'm pretty much just trying to escape Schnuck's with my food to get this screaming, scrambling, snot flinging mess back to our house and they're smiling. Then the couple behind me made my day. They said, "We know that face. We have twin two year olds at home." In case you missed that: Twin. Two Year Olds. Sometimes it's great to just know someone else understands.

Just Say Thank You

There are many lessons I clearly remember my mom and grandma making a point to teach me. Make your bed when you get out of it. Wash your hands. Look both ways. Read books. Lots of books. Always keep learning. Hot water takes out chocolate, cold water to take out blood. Little things that I learned to lean on. One of those lessons I have found particularly important in my life. That is the lesson of how to graciously accept a compliment. Not many people do that and sometimes it can be hard.

For instance when I was growing up and would play my violin at a recital. People would come up to me later, no matter how well or poorly I did, and compliment me on my performance. Some of the time I would be thinking, were they actually listening to what I was playing? That doesn't matter though. What matters is that person enjoyed your performance and is letting you know that. The appropriate response is always thank you. Nothing more, nothing less.

In life I can be presented at times with situations where it is hard to accept other's compliments of myself without bravado or dismissiveness. The lesson that I was taught is that in complimenting me a person is graciously giving me a gift. One that they most certainly did not have to give. My responsibility in that situation is to accept that gift with the same grace and sincerity in which they gave it. I'd like to think that this lesson has been thoroughly learned.

Even though I feel I have mostly learned this lesson, there is a situation that I'm acutely aware of my lack of ability to accept the compliment. That is when people compliment me on the kind of mother I am. (Which my sister does quite often.) I wonder why I can't just smile and say thank you when someone gives me such a wonderful gift.

There are a few reasons why I think I have trouble with this. The first being that my job as a mother isn't done. How can I possibly know how well I've done on a job that's not finished? My children are so young. There's so much of their lives ahead of them. I have so much to teach them and so many, many pitfalls to avoid. The last notes of the sonata aren't ringing in the air yet.

Another reason is that nobody sees the mistakes I'm making quite as acutely as I do. Nobody sees when I lose my temper. Nobody sees when I'm lazy and let my kids do things that I told myself I'd never let them do. Nobody sees how amazingly my children bounce back from a mistake that I led them into. The sharp and flat notes I make as I play the song seem to be more amplified in my ears.

Regardless of those reasons though I should take the compliment as it is given. With love. Just like the songs I would play on the violin. When someone comes up to me afterward and says how much they enjoyed it, even if I think they're only saying that to make me feel better, my response should be to smile and say thank you. And you know what? It does make me feel better. There are too many times when I hear negative thoughts and actions about motherhood. Why not gladly receive any positive that may come along?

So to all you moms and grandmas out there that are trying your best to be good role models, WAY TO GO. I think you're great. I think your kids are beautiful, smart, loving, and gifted. You are amazing. Keep up the good work.




PS. In no way am I trying to fish for compliments. I've just been thinking about this lately and wanted to see if anyone else had similar thoughts on the subject.

Or Maybe Not

Last night was the worst night sleep I've had since I had Greg. Then this morning I accidentally tore the front bumper off the car. Great. Just. Great.

The Tide Has Turned

Sorry for the lack of posts recently, but I've been having a sort of string of bad days lately. Charlotte and I are butting heads it seems like at every turn and it's starting to wear me down. Also? She has found a noise that she makes constantly. A noise that I'm sure she has practiced specifically to drive me up the wall. Because kids do that right? Actually when it started I recognized it as the girl version of the the angry sound one of her cousins made. The only difference is that when her cousin made it I thought absolutely nothing of it. Now every time I hear that sound I want to hurt something. On top of that we're trying to get Greg to sleep constantly through the night. It hasn't been that bad actually. Compared to his sister it's been a dream. But he does wake up, make noises for about 10 minutes and then go back to sleep about two times a night. Dan thinks he's sleeping through the night, but that's just because Greg's sounds aren't waking him up at all. At least half of us are getting a good night's sleep. And last but not least we're fighting the nap time fight. Charlotte's almost three and I don't know how much longer these days are going to last, but that quiet time in the afternoon is priceless for me. I either get to nap myself, be productive around the house (if hallelujah my kids are napping at the same time), or spend the time making Greg smile and laugh. I treasure that time and I don't really care if she's sleeping, so long as she's quiet, in her bedroom, and doesn't come out for an hour and a half.

Anyway, my string of bad days culminated on Monday when I had to deal with poop on the outside of the toilet, no nap toddler, and stepped in cat puke on my rug. Then I got a call from the husband of one of my friends and my outlook shifted. She's 15 weeks pregnant and hadn't kept anything in her stomach for a day and a half. NOTHING. They were worried about taking her to the hospital because you have to be 16 weeks pregnant to go to the women's triage unit so she'd have to go to the regular emergency room crawling with the flu. The flu that kills pregnant women. So anyway, he was asking if I'd watch their little girl Tuesday. I, of course, said yes and thanked my stars I wasn't puking my guts out.

Tuesday morning came around and I wasn't worried. I got us up and started the laundry and changed the sheets on the beds and cleaned the kitchen (I always get a shot of productivity right after breakfast. Does that happen to you?). Then we went over and picked up my friend's little girl. The worry about the day hit as I had the three car seats strapped into the back of my car and was heading home. I had three kids for the WHOLE DAY. I could just see my daughter getting fed up with the situation and trying to punch her friend in the face. I could just see the little girl wanting to go home at lunch time so she could take her nap in her own bed and then proceeding to cry until she was picked up. I could just see Greg being woken up from his naps and then wanting to be held the rest of the time. I could see the house turning into a disaster zone. My husband comes home to a crazy wife and two angry children and no dinner. Not so different from the previous days, but that's life sometimes.

With all that set up, yesterday went fine. Actually it went amazing. Charlotte played with her little friend really well. And I got all three children to sleep at the same time. That's about as common as a solar eclipse, but it happened, oh did it happen!

So I thought I'd pass this little idea along to those of you struggling with nap time. I put a CD player up on the landing outside the kids room and told them they didn't have to go to sleep, but they did have to stay in bed until the pretty music stopped. Then I played the CD, when it got to the end I just went up and started it over until they had slept a hour and a half. They all fell asleep and slept for 3 hours. It probably wont work for too long, but I did it again for Charlotte today and she went right down.

Giggles

A few nights ago I had to get the dishes done. I put Greg in his highchair and he was fussy, but I just ignored him. His fussiness was coming to a crescendo when it turned into belly laughs. I turned around and my heart melted. I ran and got the video camera to show everyone what happened. Also, did you see the new highchair cover?