Verdict: Fail

There is nothing that makes me feel more like a failure than when my two year old melts down in front of other people. He is so completely different than Charlotte in that regard. When Charlotte would melt down I could almost always get her to do breathing exercises with me until she calmed down or if I picked her up and held her close she would just relax into me. It was almost like she really wanted to calm down and just didn't know how. It took time and patience, but I never felt out of control when she would do it in front of others.

Greg on the other hand will look you in the eye and scream and scream and if you pick him up he will go rigid and continue to scream in your ear. When we're at home I just send him to his room until he stops. And his stopping of the crying is just as abrupt as the starting. It's not like he needs to "calm down" it's like he just needs to flip the switch to turn it off and then he's fine again. Once he's done he comes out and joins in the family activity. I've done it so much that when he feels he needs to let it all out he starts walking to his room before any waterworks even start. When we're home we just let him ride it out in his room. Out of the house though, I have no coping mechanism and it makes me feel like I'm failing.

Today he started a meltdown at another person's house. This was our first ever visit there and it was awful. I had no idea what to do. In the end I picked him up put shoes and coats on all of us and left. He continued to scream at me for an hour. AN HOUR. Just when I thought he would calm down he would intentionally take a huge breath and start all over again. He was so mad he wouldn't even eat his sausage at lunch. I don't know if you know this, but he is highly carnivorous.

Sweet little miss Charlotte tried to help him by offering him all sorts of her things if he would only stop crying. His reply to that was to sob/scream at the top of his lungs that he didn't want that! I finally told her to just ignore him because he wasn't going to stop. Boy did I feel like a failure.

Because of his meltdown and my frazzled attempts to just stop the yelling I sort of missed out on an important piece of information that someone was trying to tell me. I couldn't even process the information fully until a solid hour and a half after his yelling fit had quieted down. Then once I had processed it I realized that I must have totally seemed, well, I don't know what I seemed like, but I know I missed the mark on that one today.

I know much of this is just living through it. He's two that's what they do, but wish I could teach him a better way of dealing with situations that don't go exactly how he wants them to. That's going to happen to him and he's got to figure out how to cope with it. Here's hoping that he grows out of this behavior sooner rather than later.

When it Goes Terribly Wrong

Sometimes I worry about stupid things. I know they're stupid and yet I get myself worried about them. I think I'm going to blame my dad because he's also an habitual worrier. You'd never know that he is, but trust me when I tell you. He worries a lot. Then again so does my mom. If you don't call as soon as the plane lands to let them know you're safe, they think the plane has most likely crashed and you are now struggling for life outside waiting for the rescue team to figure out how to get huge chunks of airplane off of you. In my family headaches could also mean brain tumors. I didn't know this was unique to my family until I met Dan and his family of non worriers. "Yeah, that happens sometimes" has got to be his family's mantra. Needless to say that my worries often completely confuse Dan. Usually Dan isn't around so by the time I see him again I have peaked the bell curve of worry and I'm on the downward swing. At that point there's no need to even bring it up to him. I think that is one blessing of him becoming a doctor. He's saved from most of this particular oddity of mine.

This last month though he has been around. And so he's been served a healthy dose of my worry about things that can not possibly be changed, (Do I really have to go through labor in order to get this kid? If I died today what would you name our baby? Name him! Name him now!) things that we are working on fixing, (what if the dampness comes back into the basement even though we've fixed the perceived problem?) and things that are so totally mundane even I can't believe I'm worried (what are we going to do for breakfast when we're at your parents' house?)

Usually I don't think he minds so much. Sometimes though, I bet it bothers him. Last night, after worrying for a few days over some things they sort of spilled out of my mouth at 11:30 at night. Not only that, I started talking in the middle of my thought process instead of at the beginning. As it turns out when it's 11:30 at night, and you are 31 weeks pregnant, and you're worrying about things that haven't even happened yet, it might be hard for your husband to understand you. All I was needing was a little bit of, "I see how that might worry you, but you don't need to because I'll be there and I can help." Probably that's what I should have told him. Instead I just kept talking and talking and talking and getting myself totally worked up. I knew I was going about the whole thing terribly wrong, but I just couldn't stop myself. That was until he finally said, "I am so confused." And then I cried.

And in the end I was finally able to tell him what I should have said in the first place. Then I apologized for being totally insane. Then he did exactly what we both should have done in the first place. He hugged me and kissed me and told me he loved me and then he went to sleep. Next time friends, next time that's what I'm going to try doing.

Dear Pinkalicious

Thanks for planting the idea in my daughter's head that there are such thing as pink ice skates. I was thinking of investing in ice skates for her because she would enjoy it so much. Now she's hoping for either pink or purple sparkly ice skates. Great.

T words

A few weeks back we talked at home about paying tithing.

Then tithing was mentioned in Charlotte's primary lesson.

Then today she says, "I don't have to pay my taxes do I?"

I think she meant tithing.

The Last Two Days

I think all doctor's offices should use kilograms. Up until yesterday I had no idea how much I weighed or how much weight I had gained. Since the only thing my doctor ever said was that I was "right on" I didn't even bother asking what that meant. Then I had to get my weight measured at a different office and they use pounds. Now I know and you can't go back to not knowing. I'm sure I'm still "right on" because that's what the lady said, it's just that "right on" during pregnancy is actually really a lot heavier than a person typically thinks for themselves as "right on."

In fact, now that I'm 30 weeks my body seems to be finally feeling the weight. I move slower. I'm more tired. I don't sleep as well. The next time anyone says anything about how things are going to go after I have the baby ("sleep now, while you still can") I think I might punch them in the face. If I could think of a witty and graceful remark I would say it, but honestly I'm too tired. One amazing thing about this pregnancy that I didn't have before is our huge jetted bathtub.

Yesterday was Dan's big 30th birthday. In honor of the day he spent the entire thing working. I planned lots of activities for the kids and I to do, including bedtime stories at the library. A very nice co-worker told him that he'd take the late late shift for his birthday so he came home in time to go to the story time with us. As a special birthday present to him I told him to stay home by himself and took the kids with me. Nothing says happy birthday like your family leaving you alone. I think he liked having a bit of time alone though because when I got back he had taken a bath in the big jetted bathtub. I told you that thing is great.

We did have his birthday breakfast this morning. The kids each presented him with scrap books of family photos that they had made themselves and he also got a nice new shirt and lovely coffee table book to open. All the cards had arrived earlier in the week and he opened them as they came to the house. Then, to celebrate his special day, he spent the rest of the morning tearing carpet out of the basement and being completely puzzled as to what is happening down there. How does the carpet get wet if the pad underneath is dry? Or did the pad get wet and then dry faster than the carpet? Where is that awful smell coming from? How much money are we going to end up paying to fix whatever problem we have? Happy Birthday honey! We love you!

Time to Share

Charlotte's at preschool and Greg and Dan are napping. The house is so quiet so I thought I'd sit down and write a few things I've been wanting to share. First, Charlotte got her hair cut. Greg got his cut over Christmas with Grandpa and the experience made her want to get hers cut. (She wanted to go to the barbershop, but we found a nice place in the mall that gives a discount for resident doctors. She got a sucker at the end so I think she thought it was just as good.) Daddy is sad to see the length gone, but Charlotte is thrilled that she doesn't have to sit through de-tangling so much. Here's an after shot of her hair.

And because he looks so stinking cute with chocolate pudding on his face here's Greg with his new big boy haircut. Mommy is still pining away for the curls, but Greg is thrilled that he almost never has to get his hair combed.
Katie said she needed a shot of my growing proportions so here it is. Taken last week so at 28 weeks. Can you believe that I still have to get bigger before I'm done? I sort of can't. Also, my belly button is decidedly off center at this point. Who knew my babies like to grow on my right side.

Remember how Greg wouldn't wear a coat? Every time we had to leave the house it was a battle of wills that he was quite frankly winning. Grandma got him a new bigger coat and with one monumental battle I won the coat fight. Who knew that once I won the coat fight I would also win the snow pants fight and the mitten fight? He also realized that if you zip the coat all the way to the top it can cover half your face from the freezing wind. Here are the kids dressed for sledding in our backyard a few days back. We took Charlotte's new sled that Grandpa made her out for it's inaugural run. That thing is pretty zippy and when you hook Percie's leash around the bar she will pull it up the hill for you. Charlotte thought that was a great system to use.

I'm feeling pretty great about the pregnancy so far. The little guy is a healthy mover. He kicks even more than Charlotte did. He never stops moving. Ever. Which is weird after Greg who was not really a mover at all. I wonder how that will translate into his personality later on. I feel like I have been blessed with reasonable children thus far. Then again, I'm sure I'll love him no matter what. At night when I wake up to go to the bathroom I will lay back down and try to sleep, but I must have samba music playing in my stomach because he is just so active.

I'm starting to feel the urge and desire to get things set up for our little guy. Mostly I just wish we had a name. I don't know why it seems so much harder this time around than last, but it 100% is. The kids have even started throwing out names at the breakfast table for us to talk about. Their ideas can be pretty amusing sometimes, but they also have come up with some pretty good ideas. Also, I want to have the kids' bedroom painted, but that probably wont happen because I am again fairly uninspired at the moment.

You know what I do find inspiring, watching Dan build those bunk beds. He was going to place the hand holds even and symmetric along the foot of the bed because he's a perfect example of his family's tendency to do just that sort of thing. Then he decided that it might look more fun (and I thought it might be a bit easier) to have them be random. He couldn't bring himself to put them at random so he brought Charlotte out to the garage and had her place then. They look great. Charlotte pointed out that the shape of the cut-outs looks like jelly beans and as soon as she said that I saw it too. Now I silently call it the jelly bean bed to myself. I'm sure once all the pieces are put together it'll look great.

Boys Can Like It Too

The kids were bored this weekend so I had them each start making Valentine's Cards. Since they love to make cards, but can only concentrate for one card at a time, so that's what we're doing. They get to pick one person a day and make a card for them.

Charlotte's cards are turning out wonderfully Valentine-y. They are all pink and red and purple and have hearts and glitter, and princesses and castles. Be warned, if you get a card from us, it will probably include glitter. (You might want to open it outside the house.) Then again, if the definition of a Valentine's Day card is that it has a lot of love in it, I would say that Greg's are turning out incredibly Valentine-y too. Though some do include glitter, they are all blue and green and orange and they also include snakes and brown "rainbows" and "guns that shoot things." What would say I love you more than a picture of a gun? Hopefully by Valentine's Day we will have a pile of cards to be sent out.

Christmas Present from G-Grandma/pa

Today was Charlotte's second day of ice skating lessons and she seems to be loving it. It is really fun to go watch her tackle something that is completely new to her without being too scared to try. She does get a bit nervous as I'm lacing up the rental skates though. Hopefully she has found some activity that she likes to do (unlike soccer which she hated doing).

Funnies From Greg

A few quick things Greg has said lately that made me chuckle.

Christmas morning Greg caught on to the gift giving idea and how everyone was so happy when someone else got them something. About half way through after every gift was opened he said, "I got that for you."

He has decided that his favorite person right now is Uncle Garrett. As an extension of, "I got that for you." He has also decided that Uncle Garrett has given him just about everything he owns and much of what Charlotte seems to get. "Uncle Garrett got this for me." Is pretty common. Then we have to say, "No, Grandma got this for you." Or something like that.

During Thanksgiving Greg discovered he liked pumpkin pie. He also likes the whipped cream on top. He however couldn't remember the name whipped cream so he substituted a name that was more recognizable for him. He really likes his pie topped with Cream of Wheat.

And lastly yesterday Dan was home working on the bunk beds. Greg was his little helper and while the help was taking place so was an enlightening conversation. Greg asked about Mom and Dad being married. Dan told him that indeed we were married and that someday he would be able to meet a girl and get married too. Greg said, "Hmm... to Avery?" That's a little friend of his.

Bunk Beds

Remember when I decided that our kids needed bunk beds upstairs? (Charlotte doesn't really want to be sleeping downstairs by herself right now and both kids actually sleep better when they're in the same room.) And that I thought Dan would be able to make nicer bunk beds than we could find for either the same price or cheaper? And that I wanted him to have them done NOW? Then I told him about it and he said, "Umm....no." We looked around for a while and didn't like anything we saw.

Well, now that Dan has finished his orthopedics rotation he has decided, "I could make nice bunk beds that we like for about the same price or cheaper." Doesn't that sound familiar. I'm thrilled. Also? I'm excited about the plan that he's decided to make and I think the kids will love it.

The only problem with the whole situation is how to decorate it. Greg loves airplanes and cars (I was thinking those art deco/retro airplane and car prints) and Charlotte loves pink and princesses (how does someone do that sort of thing in a subtle way) and then we'll have a baby boy on top of that. Do I try to put all ideas in there? Do I just ignore Charlotte because someday she'll be sleeping in the basement? Or do I just do nothing? Knowing me it'll probably be that last option.

At least we're going to have an awesome bunk bed.

Thoughts I Wanted to Record

To my Little Ones,

Did you know that I love you so much? Do you know that? I sure hope so because sometimes I love you so much I can't believe it doesn't just physically burst forth from me. That feeling that I get in the morning when you come shuffling into my room never ceases to amaze me. I never used to be good at waking up before, but I never had you to wake up to. I may be tired, but I always love your sometimes quiet sometimes wiggly bodies laying next to me in the bed. I know the day will come when I wont get to have that anymore and I can't even think about that right now because I love it too much.

I love your kisses. Right on the lips with the tightest squeeze you could give me that just barely seems like you're holding on. I love that I get to pick you up and hug you and that we get to cuddle on the sofa. It gladdens my heart to know that you are enjoying the moment just as much as me. I am so lucky to have kids that like that sort of thing. One day that will be different, but for today I will love it just as I love you.

Charlotte, you are such a beautiful and intelligent little girl. I love everything that is feminine about you and I think they are some of your most amazing strengths. I see how much you love those around you, even your little brother who picks at you. You are my first and the engine of our little train as we find our way along. Thank you for that. I love when I check in on you before I go to bed and I see you sleeping away in the room that was meant to be your brother's alone. You wanted to stay upstairs with everyone else and I love that about you. One day, I'm sure you're going to want your own space. You will long for more, you will want that bedroom in the basement, away from everyone else. For now though, I will support you in your desire to stay upstairs. I will put three kids in one room and leave the other one empty if it means that my kids get to love each other even more. Thank you for teaching me that.

Greg, you are such an amazing and brilliant light in our family. I can't look at you and think anything but how handsome you are. You are such a masculine little boy, which is new for me. I was never around little boys much growing up so every time you discover something boyish that delights you I discover it too. Because of you I've learned to love cars, and monster trucks, and balls, and rockets, and paper towel roll telescopes. I think my life with you will always be filled with new discoveries about what it means to be a little boy, a young man, and an adult male. I find it enlightening to discover the world through your eyes. One thing though, please, in your love of fast and loud and adventurous, try to also not kill yourself.

And my third little one. I'm sorry we can't seem to name you yet. Maybe we just need to see you first. I can't wait to see you. I'm so excited that you will be with us soon. Though your older brother wasn't much of a mover inside me, you seem to be taking after Charlotte because you move most of the day and almost all of the night. Your kicks seem to serve as an ever present reminder that you are indeed with our family now. I can't wait discover how you interact with our family, where your pieces fit into our family picture. You will, I'm sure make your own mark on everyone. You've already made your mark on my heart. This time around I love you with confidence. I had no idea what to expect with Charlotte. I worried about how I could possibly love Greg as much as the first. This time around though I KNOW I will love you with all that I have.

Thank you to all of you for the wonderful privilege it is to be your mother. You amaze me.
Love,
Mom

Christmas Presents

Highlights and unexpected delights from Christmas presents that I can remember right now:

1. Uncle Garrett and Aunt Katie got Greg a Junior Stomp Rocket. I kept it in the box thinking it would be a great spring/summer toy for outside. Well, today we ran out of activities so I opened the box. As I write this I can hear the thud, scream, run run run of Greg delightedly stomping that rocket into the air inside the house upstairs. Instead of pointing it up we pointed it to the side and he LOVES it.

2. Santa (aka my parents) gave Charlotte a reproduction Chatty Cathy for Christmas. I was nervous about this toy since up until now Charlotte has paid minimal attention to any doll we've given her. Now that she's four and a half though she has realized that she can change her dolls clothing by herself. This opened up a whole new world of play for her. If it's quiet and she's nowhere to be seen I can just peak into her room and see her changing her doll or doing her doll's hair or putting her doll down for a nap.

3. Speaking of dolls, Dan's parents gave Charlotte a new snow suit for her baby doll and an infant carrier for it. With the resurgence of interest in changing and playing with dolls this one has once again become a beloved member of Charlotte's "family." We had to take her in her car seat with us on all of our errands the other day.

4. Lego duplo is awesome for both of my kids. Greg loves the Lego Lightening and Charlotte loves to make houses. It works for both of them to play with together.

5. I mentioned Greg's new fascination with monster trucks. This started because my mom got him a new monster truck book. He loves that book. He carries it around with him.

6. Zingo is a fun family game that even Greg can play. Charlotte always suggests we play that when she's bored and it's great because even though Greg probably wont win anytime soon, he's already getting better at recognizing matches. Charlotte however plays that game cut throat style so don't cross her.

There have been so very many more delights and surprises with our presents this year, but I can't remember them right now. Plus, the stomping upstairs has stopped and it's eerily quiet. I need to go up and investigate before something of mine is broken. We are so grateful for all the gifts that we got this Christmas.

What A Difference!

I was at the end of my rope.

Dan finished his three month orthopedics rotation December 30th and started working in the surgical ICU. That was one particularly intense rotation that took just about everything he had in him. Even though he loved what he was doing and I could tell he was completely satisfied with his work, I was happy to see that rotation end. His first two shifts in the ICU included an unusually long day and then a night shift. When he came home Monday morning he was walking around in a daze. I missed him terribly.

I expected him to pass out and be gone for all of Monday. That's not what happened. He stayed up and indulged his little boy in some watching of monster truck clips on youtube (a new favorite of his) and generally took it easy. He did take a nap in front of the TV "watching" football, but once he fell asleep I turned on RIO and let the kids watch it. It was really funny because, even though Daddy was asleep and they sat in their little chairs on the floor they were excited to be watching RIO with him.

He went to bed a 9pm Monday and didn't get up until almost 10am Tuesday, but what a great day! He moved all the Christmas decoration boxes back up to the attic and took down the outside lights and did puzzles with Charlotte and played cars with Greg and was actually awake, aware, and interactive with all of us. It felt like I'd been swimming under water and I was almost out of breath and then yesterday I was able to break the surface and take some super huge breaths of fresh air.

Yesterday made me cautiously optimistic about the month of January.

DETOX

Grandma and grandpa came for Christmas. Did I mention that was happening? I don't know if I did. Here's how that happened:

First, we told everyone that Dan in on his ortho rotation and thus will not be able to take any vacation time during either Thanksgiving or Christmas. In fact he would need to be working both Thanksgiving day and Christmas day. Next, my family decided to have Thanksgiving at our house instead of at my parents. It was our family's turn for Thanksgiving this year. That was awesome. No lugging the second trimester me through the airport with two others in tow and a stroller to collapse through the x-ray scanner. No huge amounts of carry-ons to try and entertain the kids. No layovers. No feeling sick because of lack of food, or bad food, or healthy snacks that Dan decides is the only thing we're eating between breakfast and dinner. Yes, Thanksgiving with family at home is the way to go. After Thanksgiving, I repeatedly, and I'm going to claim innocently, mentioned on the phone to my parents how having a day with nothing to do alone with my kids isn't really a holiday for me. I call that Wednesday. Dan's family is huge (or rather normal sized if you're Mormon) so getting them to all come out for Christmas was completely out of the question. But since it was the in-law year for Christmas with my family, and I currently have the grandkids, my parents decided to fly in to see us instead of going down to see my grandparents.

SWEET! That meant that grandma and grandpa came for Christmas and helped to make the whole weekend simply magical. And it was magical. My kids loved every second of it. And yes, there were tears in the car after we pulled away from the airport without grandma and grandpa.

So we are now two days post holiday season and I've learned a few things. The first is that when my husband isn't around very much to back me up on discipline I tend to let a lot of things slide. Then when he is around I realize I've been letting it slide and probably that's not a good idea. The second involves vacation. As it turns out it doesn't matter if you travel, or if you plan anything super exciting to do, if family is coming then you are on vacation. To small children that translates to vacation rules apply. Vacation rules mean that there are so many adults around and they are all trying to relax so you will probably get whatever it is that you want.

You know where I'm heading with this don't you? We have hit a wicked case of vacation detox like slamming into a brick wall at 70 mph. Yesterday my son screamed in my face at my back and in the car for a solid hour because I made him wear a coat to the dog park. I'm a horrible mother because I insist on coat wearing in 30 degree weather! HORRIBLE. Today my daughter sat at the kitchen table and cried and screamed and choked on her own snot for a half hour because I told her she needed to eat her orange slices at breakfast. There were four orange slices. She loves oranges, but these had "cracks" in them that unbeknownst to me made them inedible.

Before lunch we went to Target to pick up some clear plastic totes because the kids have grown out of a size of clothing and thus we need to pack them up and put them in the attic. If I don't put them out of sight they come out of their bedroom dressed looking a little bit like homeless kids that don't have adequate clothing. Never mind there are five other pairs of pants that are long enough, they want to wear the pairs that are two inches too short. Then trying to get them to change turns into a raging battle of wills. While we were at Target my son decided to run down all the aisles. He is doing this with increasing frequency and I need to come up with a technique to stop that because he rounded the corner and ran right into this lady. Hard enough to make her make that sound you hear in the comics when someone gets hit. I was so embarrassed I took him by the arm and we walked right to the checkout and left the store.

So...now we are all on a one hour long "quiet time" break. Greg is in his bed. Charlotte is in my bed and I'm in the basement. I hope having a little more rest will help them, but probably we just have to live through this detox. I will have to keep reminding myself to stay strong and no matter how silly it seems they do in fact need to obey the rules of the house. How long does it take to get vacation out of the system?

A Christmas Story

Charlotte left her new shoes out.

The dog chewed through the strap rendering them useless.

I took them in to the only shoe repair guy in town (that I know of) hoping for some sort of miracle wherein the guy could raise these shoes from the dead.

Turns out he could.

He said it would cost $8.

In the shop I turned to Charlotte and I told her she was paying as much as she could of that because she left the shoes out.

Today we picked the shoes up and he totally fixed them. You can't hardly tell the strap was torn in half.

Charlotte unzipped her green m&m money purse and dumped all her change onto the counter.

He helped us make little piles of pennies and we all counted it out.

$3.62 (mostly in pennies)

I opened my wallet to pay the difference.

He said that was OK and he'd just take the $3.62.


I walked out of the shop a little dazed by the kindness.

I hope to re-tell this story to Charlotte when she can understand it a little better.

And maybe me too.

More Christmasness

Dan's hair was so long that while he was driving in the car on Saturday I looked at his profile and the front of the hair made a complete circle. I told him he looked somewhat whoville-ish. Today we cut it.

While I was cutting his hair Charlotte found a dishtowel and a headband. Then she found one of Dan's blue shirts and gave Greg a white one. They got out the broom and proceeded to walk around the house. In case you, like I, can't figure out what they were playing, I'll let you know. She had decided that they were playing Mary and Joseph. The broom was the donkey. There was no Jesus. Then, when Joseph decided that he would rather play "Joseph to the rescue" instead of being Mary's loving husband leading the donkey, she decided that her game would be "Mary at the concert." She got out the battery operated keyboard and microphone (thanks to my brother for his kind and thoughtful Christmas gift last year) and sang songs dressed as Mary. Then said that Mary was coming to the concert and she hoped that Mary would think that her costume was authentic and would look just like Mary looked a long time ago(even wearing blue). Meanwhile Joseph was running around upstairs rescuing all sorts of people, animals, and yes, even bad guys.

Also, I can't remember if it was earlier in the day or later, well, I guess it had to be earlier because after the haircuts (Greg got one too) the boys went off to shower and then it was jammie time. So as I was saying, earlier in the day the kids decided that the s'more/snowmen ornaments all needed to be taken off the tree and sent to school. Ever since the newest batch of ornaments arrived from Grandma they have been intensely exciting. They searched the tree over for all the ornaments with their names on them (Charlotte directing, of course, because Greg has yet to really recognize his own name). Then they lined them up and the girl figures went to dance school while the boy figures played what I think could most accurately be described as sneak up on the girls and shoot them. The very strict dance instructor (Charlotte) did not appreciate her dance students being shot at one bit and class time had to be ended when I looked over and found Charlotte standing on top of Greg pinned to the ground.

And that's how I can tell that Christmas is only a week away.

Simplify

**Editorial Note** This post is about pee. If you don't want to read it that's OK. Stop now. My dad says it's too much, but I don't think so.

Having never been a boy or had brothers around my age there are certain aspects of boyhood that I seem to be finding out along the way. The most recent revelation has been about potty training. It took quite a bit more patience with Greg than with Charlotte, but now that I feel he's potty trained, I look back and realize that there were far fewer moments of "I have to go potty" in completely inappropriate places. I remember many times with Charlotte finding my palms are sweating and I'm nervously looking around for a toilet with the desperation of a crack addict trying to find his next hit.

Yes, this time around took longer, but was a lot less stressful.

There is just one aspect of this that I have such a hard time with boys. Aim. You can't just plop a boy down on the potty and tell him to go because then you may just get pee all down the front of you or on your pajama pants or maybe even across the room. In fact going potty in public restrooms is one of my least favorite activities in the world (good thing I make Dan do this with him as much as possible). My technique to avoid pee on me is to take one shoe off and actually take one leg out of pants and undies. That way the legs can be far enough apart that he wont get peeps on me or himself. The problem then is do I let him put his foot down on the floor wearing only a sock? Gross.

So yesterday I thought to myself, enough! I'm teaching him to pee standing up. That has got to be a much more simple process. Cue the laughter. I set up his step stool next to the potty and carefully instructed him as to the aiming process. Then he proceeded to pee all over the toilet, wall, toilet paper, me, mirror, and floor.

I think we're going to stick with the one leg out technique for a while.

Christmas

Yesterday my kids slept in. Then got up and proceeded to argue. Then, not even a half hour after waking up, asked to watch TV. I had had it. I declared a TV free day. Clearly they had not been having enough practice at playing with and being nice to each other.

Don't you think that TV is the best and worst thing to ever happen? It can give my kids some good entertainment and Charlotte knows so much stuff that she just learned off the TV. It was because of Disney that I was able to take my first alone shower after having Charlotte. Yes, it took over a year for that to happen. Then again, it can give my kids some pretty nasty attitudes (and they don't even watch bad shows) that make me want to not be around them. Then I want them to watch more to stay away from me, but then they are acting worse. It's a horrible cycle that I have to keep on top of every single day of my life, but I don't hate TV. It is great if used wisely.

Anyway, the day went pretty well considering I had nothing planned and we spent the entire thing inside. I didn't even shower and get dressed until 2 pm. I was too busy, organizing tea parties, fighting monsters, and reading stories in between laundry, dishes, changing bed linens, and scrubbing the downstairs bathroom for that. By the way, just because you never use the downstairs bathroom doesn't mean it is never used. If your husband showers down there every morning*, and your kids pee in that toilet, and the dog walks around on the floors it will get dirty. If you just pretend like it doesn't exist then when you actually look at it you might be a little revolted by the dirty grout and peed on toilet and water stains on everything. Also maybe the mud up the walls might be a little disgusting. I'm just talking hypothetical here.

Anyway, yesterday we also spent quite some time wrapping Christmas presents. The kids had previously gone to the dollar store and purchased presents for each other and we had a few things tucked away that needed wrapping. So we wrapped and then put out presents that had been sent. I have hesitated to do this before now because I worried that the dog would try to eat them. She is still a puppy and chews. She is tricky about it though. She'll spend the entire morning at your feet looking up at you like what? I'm the most obedient thing ever. You don't have to worry about me. And so you let your guard down. Mistake. Big mistake because then you end up having to pry something out of her mouth. But Dan said we should give it a shot so we set the presents out. Do you know how much having actual presents under the tree changes the excitement level for Christmas? They BOTH get it now. They both can't wait to get and give and enjoy. Now 12 days sounds like an eternity. Before we did our countdown to Christmas morning routine and then pretty much forgot about it for the rest of the day. Now the ornaments are 10 fold more exciting. They just figured out that the snowmen ornaments are actually s'mores too and that s'more in the car has made its rounds around the coffee table more times than I can count. Now there will be no forgetting. There will only be smiles and giggles and how many days and "I can't waits."

Also, Katie, if you were wondering if Charlotte guessed what you and the ear doctor got for her, then yes, she felt that package up and down and then declared, "I think they got me books!" in high pitch terrier mode. My daughter gets so excited over new books.

We also read all of our Christmas books again yesterday. Did you know that The Polar Express has a picture of a train or car on almost every page? Yes, yes it does. And I'm also finding that not only does that capture Greg's attention, but he loves the way the words sound. He will mumble along with me as I'm reading that book about half a word behind. It's a good thing I grew up with a dad that always walked about 10 feet behind the rest of the family. I learned young that you don't slow down to let him catch up because then he just slows down too and then you're walking along at the pace of a snail and everyone is cranky. Same thing with Greg and books. Don't slow down because so will he. You will never finish. Just forge ahead and he will follow.

Today we were driving past the golf course. Just after the golf course is a little bit of trees that my son said is, "The dark forest where lean wolves roam." Then I asked if white tailed rabbits hide there too and he said, "Umm, yes." Only those of you who have read The Polar Express will get that reference.

Another thing he said that has nothing to do with anything else I wrote earlier is that Uncle Garret went back to Minneapolis. I told him that no, he went back to Denver because that's where he lives. The airport is in Minneapolis and the plane goes to Denver. Then he said, "I want to go to Dembo." Me too son, me too.

*Just for clarification Dan showers in the basement so it doesn't wake up the dog which is weird, I know, but it keeps her asleep until I get up in the morning. If he showers in the bathroom attached to our bedroom then she sees the light and thinks it's time for everyone to start the day. Sorry Percie, I'm not starting my day at 4 am.

Computer Work

Today I started doing all my To Do stuff that I do on the computer at noon. I finished 3 hours later.

I like to put off computer work.

I like to put off balancing the budget.

Just one more note: A cash only system only works if you only use cash. Just thought you might like to know that.

Christmas Crafts

Well, they're never going to be featured in a magazine, but we've been really enjoying doing some Christmas crafts together. Here are a few of my favorites.

Behold the toilet paper snowmen:

And also the cardboard Christmas tree with homemade ornaments, button garland and yarn garlands. They decorated the whole thing by themselves.

The Program

Last night was Charlotte's preschool Christmas program. It was hilarious. A whole bunch of 4 and 5 year olds screaming songs they don't know all the words to and doing the actions along with it. After it was over I had to ask Charlotte to sing them for me again so I could actually figure out the words. She knew most of the words on her own.

Dan knew it was the Christmas program that night, but he was on call until 6 pm and couldn't actually get out of the hospital until 6:50 and the program started at 7. I was worried I'd have to tell Charlotte sorry Daddy couldn't make it. He texted me at 6:55 saying he was on his way and I think he almost killed himself getting there in record time.

The best part came twice though. First, once when the kids were lined up on the risers and Charlotte was worryingly looking around. When she saw Greg and I sitting in the audience (off to the side so Dan could slip in when he came) her face lit up and she had a bright smile on her face. Right then I knew I would clap my hands right off in order to get her to smile like that at me again.

Then, over halfway through the program, Dan finally made it. Charlotte was singing away when she looked over and saw her daddy in the audience. She smiled, jumped up and down and completely lost her place in the song. I thought Dan was going to cry. I know I sure did (but I think I can probably blame that on the pregnancy).

Greg's favorite part was the cheese, crackers and meat refreshments.

Kicking Myself

You guys, I just bought Dan a great Christmas gift. I think he needs it and it will be good for him to have here in the winter. I just bought him an awesome Eddie Bauer winter coat.

Then this morning as I was driving along thinking about what I could do to help him unwind a bit I thought of trying to give him some time to himself. He doesn't have much down time and the kids and I monopolize it 100%. He doesn't have anything for himself and when I manage to quiet down the selfish neither do I voice in my head, I realize that it's not right for him to have nothing.

Then I remembered a comment from someone about a climbing gym around here that I was completely unaware of. I looked it up online and checked it out. It looks pretty amazing and reasonably priced even though there's no way he'd spend anything like that on himself. So if anyone was still needing ideas for him for Christmas (which I think everyone has one already) or are planning far in advance for his birthday (which some of you do), you could get him a day pass, or a punch card. That way he could go when he happens to have a free night and isn't too exhausted. He could even head out after the kids are in bed.

Am I regretting my purchase for him? Absolutely not. Am I wishing I had more to give? Always.

A Revelation

Did you know that my husband likes to play with our kids? I don't mean that he likes candyland or operation (which my kids call orthopedics) or any other structured "kid" games. He's not even particularly into building trains. What he likes, I mean really likes, is to horse around or rough house.

That's why I was so excited when it started snowing Saturday afternoon. I was hoping that he would get home in time to play with the kids, but paperwork which should have taken 1 hour ended up taking 3. He got home after dark. Charlotte was devastated when I told her she couldn't build a snowman in the dark.

Luckily he had Sunday off. After church was planned playtime. I knew he was tired and probably wanted to watch the game, but the lure of snow to a man who spent years on the Washington coast was too much for him. Although Greg fell asleep on the way home, he helped Charlotte into her winter clothing, layered up himself, retrieved the snow saucer from the attic and took to the backyard with Percie. They had a blast and stayed out there for an hour and a half. They even took Percie on the disc with them down the hill. I would have loved to see the three of them on that thing together. I stayed inside to make dinner.

Then last night, after the kids were in bed, he kept telling me, "Charlotte really loves the snow. She really loved playing today." He would just stop what he was doing to tell me this with a smile on his face. He was smiling! To which I replied, "I know. So did you. I knew you would." I just wish there were more chances for magic like that to happen.

How To Make the Crying Stop

Bring in family. Lots of adults who are committed to making children feel like they are the world's coolest kids will bring out the best.

It might also bring out fatigue, illness and threaten death.

But then the adults take all the illness and fatigue home with them and leave two incredibly upbeat and pleasant kids.

I highly suggest you do this when you can't take it anymore. Especially when your husband works so hard and so long that the kids never see him and you barely do.

Is It Just Mine?

I love the two year old size of body. I know that sounds weird, but it's the honest truth. Their height when sitting on your lap perfectly matches the height between my lap and my chin. Their skinny little butt is perfect for sitting right on yours. The length of their little arms as the wrap them around my neck just fits. I love the cuddly baby size, but I think I might like the two year old size better. It's the absolute perfect size.

And it better be because I feel like I spend most of the day comforting my two-an-a-half-year-olds. My breakfast cereal doesn't have milk! Now it has too much! I'm too cold! I can't put on my coat! I wanted Thomas undies not Percie! This car wont fit through the hole I made for it! Maybe if he would actually say these things he wouldn't have to cry so much? He's actually crying right now and I have no idea why!

This morning I counted no less than eleven breakdowns in the hour and a half it took us to get out the door.

You know what I bet? I bet if he would give up these energy sucking crying fits, then he would also be able to completely give up naps, which as we all know are the enemy of all living things!

Way Too Much

There's a family story in Dan's family about when his niece Katelyn was little. After spending some time with her, young Dan commented that he could never be a mom because there was too much talking.

Yesterday the kids and I went to one of my routine prenatal check-ups. As we got out of the car Greg was talking about how windy and cold it was, which I had no sympathy for since he was the one who chose to not wear a coat. As we checked into the office Greg was commenting on the hanitizer, the cough shields, and the children's cough shields with cartoon characters on them. As we were sitting waiting in reception he was talking about the water fountain and the disposable cups. As the nurse was checking my weight and blood pressure he was talking about not needing a flu shot. As the doctor was checking the fetal heart tones and the fundal height he was talking about the stickers in his book. As we waited to get Charlotte's flu shot he again talked about the water fountain. (Charlotte ended up wasting about two pounds of tears since we found out she was a good candidate for the nasal spray and didn't even get a shot.) As we were checking out he was talking about McDonald's (which was my last ditch effort to get Charlotte to stop crying before we found out about the nasal spray).

At that point the lady from the check-in desk came over and jokingly asked, "Does he ever stop talking?"

No. No he doesn't.

It's a good thing that I was there instead of Daniel.

Being Grateful for Dan

Well, I almost died.

Or at least I thought I was going to, or worse, hurt the baby inside of me. I was stupid and it was stupid and that was one freakishly scary night.

As it turns out all those rules about what you are and aren't supposed to do while pregnant are for a good reason. But in my mind what does it mean when the doctor tells you to "not lift heavy objects" because my kids need lifting and some consider that heavy, but I don't. Thinking back though, probably moving the 10 year old TV upstairs by myself is considered heavy by everyone. Also moving the sofas and flipping one on top of the other go under the too heavy for the pregnant lady list. At the time though it didn't seem like too much.

Also, using my neighbor's Bissell to clean the carpets in the entire downstairs didn't seem like too much either. Obviously though it was. My body was screaming at just about every move I made by dinner time. Between dinner and the kids' bedtime all I did was lay on Charlotte's bed while they played around me. I was exhausted.

It was after bedtime though that I really thought I'd done permanent damage. You see, evidence that I had caught some sort of stomach virus started to appear around 7 PM and I spent the rest of the night sitting on the toilet, holding a bowl to puke in. My body didn't want me to move and also wanted every bit of whatever toxin was in there out. My body was in agony and there was literally no way to alleviate it. Add to it all the worry that this much dehydration was going to severely hurt my baby and you have one torturous night.

And here's where Dan steps in. I told him to go to bed since there was absolutely nothing he could do for me. Then I would sporadically wake him up just for reassurance that everything was going to be OK. He patiently woke up and told me that no, we still don't need to go to the ER, you are doing fine. This will pass.

Then when he woke up for the day I begged and pleaded with him to please not go into work. I couldn't see facing that day feeling as bad as I did without him. Well, he couldn't just not show up. So he went in, but not until after telling me to let things go with the kids that day. Let them watch TV (which he never says) and just relax. He left and then I cried. And then I cried because crying hurt.

In my haze I got out two bowls of honey KIX turned on the TV and crawled back into bed. I woke up again sometime around 10 and felt better (or so I thought) so I tried to text him that he could in fact stay at work. He decided to come home anyway.

And gave me the best gift of my life.

I had my first sick day in four years. I was, in fact, not all better yet. I still needed much in the way of hydration and rest. All of which he gave me. I let my body tell me when I needed to sleep and try to eat and followed his orders when it came to taking Tylenol and I managed to make it through the day. He brought home a variety of powerades along with a winter cactus because he loves me. He did Charlotte's hair and took her to preschool and played with Greg and did everything so I didn't need to worry about anything.

Did I mention he was supposed to start helping out with a new doctor's service yesterday? I have no idea what he told them to come home, but I'm sure it cost him at least a little just to leave like that. Hopefully he can make it up to them in the coming six weeks because he is my hero.

Two Hundred Forty Four

That is how much money Percie owes me to date for things she has completely destroyed.

Today it was Greg's dragon snow boots.

They are Bogs brand and he's been wearing them solid for the past two weeks.

Percie ate right through them. I don't mean chewed. I mean ate.

Apparently they were a hot ticket item this year, because there are none left on the Internet.

NONE.

So I ended up purchasing him spider web snow boots instead.

They should be here in 7-10 business days.

Hopefully he likes them as much as the dragon boots.

Also hopefully he will submit to wearing other footwear until the new ones come.

Thanksgiving Update

Funny how I had planned to post all about our Thanksgiving celebrations, and then I got busy/stressed and didn't post anything and even forgot to take photos of some of our celebrations. So here are a few of the highlights.

First, and this one might be a stretch, but the kids loved it. We spray painted Charlotte's bed. I've wanted it painted since we got it, but it was never really convenient. Now, with the carpet in her bedroom being torn up her bed had to be in the garage. I wanted to cover up the scratches in the paint and also take it from a high gloss finish to a matte finish. I've noticed that a lot of the metal day beds right now have a matte finish. I like it. Charlotte wanted it hot pink, but I convinced her that princess beds are white with pink blankets. Before painting, I talked to the kids about appreciating the things that we have and taking care of them. That way we will be able to use them for much longer. When we take care of our things it is part of showing gratitude for them.

They loved taking their turns painting the backside of the bed.

Also, Charlotte told me one day, was it last week? that it was her dog's birthday. Then Greg told me that it was also his dog's birthday. What a coincidence right? So we decided that the day was going to be a birthday party/celebration of our dogs and our love for them. It included cake, ice cream, and presents. Each kid bought the present for their dog with their own money and then wrapped it for their dog and then opened it on behalf of their dog.

Also, we had a fun night making Thanksgiving cookies. At first I thought they should be pumpkin, but since we just made pumpkin cookies a little while ago we just made regular sugar cookies and frosted them with Thanksgiving.


And here's a photo of my growing belly. I told Dan to not get me in the shot, but I guess he thought it looked better that way.

Also, lastly I wanted to share an activity that we did, but I didn't get photos for. It was my mother in law's idea and the kids were really impressed. They talked about it for days. First I talked to them about how we got Percie and Suzie from the Humane Society in St. Louis. Then I talked about what the Humane Society was and that they always needed to get help from people in order to help the animals. Helping them out is a great way to show our our gratitude for our pets. So then we went onto the Humane Society of Rochester web site and looked at what items they were asking for. We gathered all the things we had and then took them and donated them. They loved

Add It To The Bowl

I'm going to try to be more thankful for Percie. It's just so hard. Right when we think we've got whatever her "problem" is sleeping she switches it up on us and then we're up half the night again. I really truly do feel like we have a newborn or maybe 8 month old baby in the house (both of those ages are the worst for me as far as sleep is concerned).

I do admit though that in the morning, when she's sleeping on the floor at the foot of the bed I do enjoy her. It warms my heart to see my daughter cuddle up with her in her half sleep. They can lay there together and all is love, or at least it would be if I weren't so annoyed that she was sleeping now that the rest of us (me) need to be awake.

Because of this today's Thanksgiving activities were limited to filling the Thanksgiving bowl.

Tonight Charlotte was thankful for pre-school, and Greg was thankful for me. If that doesn't make me melt I don't know what would.

A Month of Thanks

Well, it's that time of year again. Where we try to celebrate gratitude and things we are thankful for here. I will try to document the month as we go along.

So here is Day 1 in photos:

This is our family tree as hand crafted by none other than Charlotte. If you can't tell those apples have each person's name on them, and a stem and leaf. Notice the last apple is blank. She actually made this tree a while back, but I thought I'd share it as part of day one since on day one I got my ultrasound.

Here is the profile of our little apple.

Here are the toes of our little apple. When the ultrasound lady found out that Dan is an ortho resident she made sure to get lots of bone photos.

Here is the evidence that our little apple is a boy. It's sideways bum on the left legs out to the right. The line along the bottom is the upper leg then there are the little boy bits above it then you can't see the other leg on top.

Last night I dug out our Thanksgiving bowl and tokens. The kids were much more into the idea this year. Charlotte was thankful for the moon and Percie and Suzie. Greg was thankful for balls and Doc Hudson.

Here is the start of Day 2 in photos:

After breakfast the kids and I went for a fall nature walk. After a few false starts due to them thinking they didn't need to put coats or hats on then getting cold, we made our way around our block. We looked at what was left of the leaves and collected "nature" for these collages. I made Charlotte copy "I'm thankful for FALL" on her sheet.

Greg though, was given free reign with the glue and nature items and jewels on his collage. Today we are thankful for fall.

Spooky

Because I know you all wanted to see the best rodents around I present to you Mickey and Minnie Mouse:Charlotte actually wore her costume all day long because she was so excited about trick-or-treating. Daddy got home in the late afternoon and helped to get them ready and then joy of joys he took them trick-or-treating. He said they loved it and that Greg stopped to admire all the decorations all evening. They were out for about an hour and a half and loved every minute of it. I loved it too. I got the kitchen cleaned and then got to sit in the quiet for a bit. Then they came home and rang our doorbell and thought it was hilarious that I thought they were trick-or-treaters.
I think the costumes turned out well. Since they were basically fleece pajama pants under everything they were super comfortable which was what convinced Greg to wear his. He did insist that he wear his dinosaur T-shirt under is Mickey costume, but I figured layers were probably a good idea. Luckily the weather was warm enough they didn't even need jackets. Their ears were warm thanks to the mouse ears too so the only thing that was reported to get cold were their hands. They toughed it out though. Anything for candy.

Below is a video of carving spooky Halloween pumpkins. We did this on Sunday which explains the nice clothing on the kids.

Well, I'm doing it

I posted my hair to sell online today.

You can look at the add here.

Hopefully it will sell soon.

The Sick One

I know exactly what to expect when Charlotte gets sick. Down to the timing of the first throw up and the last night I'll need to give her Benadryl to make it through the night. It is horrible to live through, but not surprising since she has been sick about 147,298 times since birth.

Greg has been sick exactly 0.

That is why when I heard the burpy-barfy sound during our breakfast prayer this morning I automatically looked toward my daughter. Nope, it wasn't her and while I was distracted Greg was busy emptying his stomach of all the water he had consumed before breakfast into his cereal bowl.

New and foreign territory. Here's hoping that his sickness goes according to his never-as-bad-as-Charlotte's-sickness pattern that he's established his whole life.

Day plans: changed.

Insight on Residency

Can you believe that October is almost done? Neither can I, and I have until Saturday to actually finish the cutest Halloween costumes. Photos to come, when they're finally done. Unless, of course, Greg or Charlotte decide that they aren't going to wear their costume. Then maybe I'll let them dress themselves and they'll go as small homeless children owing to the fact that my son refuses to wear a jacket of any sort and we have only one sweater. That sweater has no trucks, good guys, trains or airplanes. It seldom gets worn.

This has been an amazing month of learning for me. Dan is doing what he loves. It is inspiring to see him light up in his quiet way about helping people. If I had to go to work and deal with people in their dark hours of hurt and pain it would be so very difficult for me. He told me of a mother who had a baby whose hand never developed. It just stopped growing at the wrist. She had no idea until the baby was born. All I can think of is how life changing that would be in an instant. My heart goes out to her and all I can think of is to help ease the hurt by feeling some of it myself. How I would make a totally burnt out doctor by feeling all the pain my patients' have is not lost on me. He is thinking of easing the hurt by actually trying to fix the situation. (In that case there is probably not a whole lot to be done, by the way. I guess that was a bad example, but I keep thinking about it.)

What has been hard, especially this month, is being at home. I am so grateful for a husband who loves what he does and is really helping people, but it is hard to be alone. It is hard to have gone from a whole community of women who are "in this together" to being the outsider again and being pregnant and being in need of help without knowing who to ask. I know I will find my community or even if it's just my particular friends, I know it will happen. What is hard is this gap period. This period where I feel like I need Dan more than ever, and yet, I know he has less now for me than before.

And it extends beyond me. It's hard to see in my kids' eyes that they miss Dad. The hardest questions to answer are, "When will there be no more sick people?" and "If the mailman gets to not work on Sunday, then why does Daddy have to?" and "Daddy play trains with me now?" I try my best to explain how incredibly proud I am of Daddy and important his work is, but how do you help a four and two year old understand?

Don't misunderstand me. I am very well aware of the sacrifices that Daniel makes specifically on my behalf. I know he thinks of me and instead of taking a day to rest he will spend the day driving up to St. Paul to take us all to the zoo. He works hard and fast and tries his best to make it home as often as possible.

I hear that marriage is hard and it takes work, but what I don't think I understood before is that life is hard and if I don't pay attention to my ultimate goals of happy marriage and successful family relations I will fail. I had been getting frustrated that I wasn't getting all the attention and human connections that I wanted. I wanted Dan to call or talk or just be around more. I think I was wanting him to replace all the girlfriends I lost when we moved. Then one day I was given the gift of insight.

What I wanted, the attention, the calls, the connection, wasn't unreasonable. I wasn't being foolish to want friendly connections with others and my children to have more from their father. What those feelings were though were unrealistic. We are where we are and he is doing absolutely all he can do. Continuing to dwell there would only lead to further unhappiness in the whole family. Having that insight made it possible for me to be ever so much more grateful for my husband. I can see so many more positives.

What I am also learning about myself is that it is easy for me to say that I rely on the arm of the Lord and not on the "arm of man" when there are a lot of people around to support me. When I am truly feeling alone it is much harder for me to rely on the Lord. I am trying. Everything seems to be getting better as I try that.

At the end of they day I learned to be more grateful and to show that gratitude to my children. Gratitude brings happiness.

What You Don't Want to Hear

A few days ago Percie woke us (or was it just me?) up at 4:30. She never went back to sleep and made the worst racket. She's 8 months old now and so I guess we're sleep training. Although I've never heard of a dog that didn't like their bed, crate, the bathroom upstairs, or the bathroom downstairs. No matter what we do she hates to be in the house between 5 and 7 in the morning. HATES. The problem being that she can't be outside because she likes to bark at all the lovely neighbors that have to go to work early in the morning. I refuse to be the neighbor with the dog that wakes everyone up. So instead she just wakes me up. Any ideas would be accepted, but honestly nothing seems to be working right now.

So anyway, awake at 4:30 up by 6 and absolutely nothing planned. It was going to be a looooong day. I figured I at least deserved an uninterrupted shower. So I locked the doors to my bathroom. I heard the knocking during the shower, but only yelled, "I can't hear you! Wait until I'm out!" In response I heard, "mumble, step stool, mumble mumble." There were more knockings but my response was always the same.

Then I turned the shower off. I hear a very polite little knock at the door. I say, "You'll need to wait until I get dressed." To which Charlotte replies, "Mom, I need you to unbutton this tricky button on my pants because I got the chocolate chips out, but I sat in the milk."

Not something I wanted to hear.

She's Found the Video Button

I went to take some photos today and found my camera full of videos. It was about a half hour worth of video on the camera. Charlotte apparently has found the video button on my camera. Tucked in between all the videos of her watching Jungle Junction and singing nonsense to herself was this little gem. Clearly we need to revisit the details of this story.

For a more accurate version of the details go here.

Thinking Of A New Post

This is a completely unrelated photo. I just like how Greg actually thinks he might be able to lift that pumpkin if he tries hard enough.

Does anyone else have the best blog post ideas while laying in bed waiting for sleep? I swear I have the best stream of consciousness ideas in bed and the whole time I'm thinking, I should write this down. This is gold. This will be entertaining and thought provoking and enjoyable for everyone.

And then I wake up and the only part of the whole thought that I can remember is that I know way too much about the egg (thanks to two different food science classes) and that my brother-in-law hates Q-Tips. Don't even mention them to him. I'm sure you all want to know details about those two facts.

On a completely unrelated note, or maybe I thought about it last night and then forgot, Dan has started his three months of Ortho rotations. He is loving it which is really fun to see. He did, however, tell me that the hours for this first month "wont be that bad," which I kindly reminded him when he left for work at 5 AM and got home after 10:30 PM. If this is not that bad, then what will the next two months be like?

Also, I know I'm only 16 weeks pregnant, but I think the nesting stuff has already hit. Charlotte's room in the basement is having moisture issues. Not real water in the basement, but a funky smell and occasional dampness. I like to call it our Oregon room. Either way she didn't really enjoy sleeping in there alone, or getting dressed in there alone, or putting her shoes away alone. So we moved her mattress upstairs. She loves it. Greg loves it. (They did share a room together in St. Louis so I don't know why I thought they wouldn't love it.) And, best of all, they both sleep about a half hour later in the morning.

All this is to say that now I feel like we need bunk beds (which I hate, but seems like the best idea in this circumstance) upstairs. The idea being that Greg needs a big boy bed and if Charlotte's going to sleep upstairs then we should have bunk beds. Then, hopefully by the time the baby is out of the crib Charlotte will be old enough to enjoy a room to herself, or Greg will go downstairs, or something, but either way we'll be prepared for everything. Not only do I think we need bunk beds, thanks to pregnancy, I think we need them NOW. My baby is coming and we literally don't have a nest for said baby. Never mind that the baby will sleep in the bassinet for the first months of it's life, it has nothing to sleep in after that! Dan doesn't quite see the urgent need that I'm sure all of the rest of us see.

You know what else needs to get done? Finishing Halloween costumes (Minnie Mouse and Mickey Mouse thanks to our Disney trip). Organizing our office. Getting some blinds that work for a few rooms whose blinds have broken or were never working in the first place. Sewing a few things I have been wanting to get done. Fixing the problem in the Oregon room in the basement. Deciding where all of Charlotte's stuff will go. Currently it is half upstairs half down. And last but not least buy and installing a tiny screw that is missing from the toilet paper holder in the bathroom. Unbelievable how something so small can aggravate me so very much.

So I guess this is my stream of consciousness post while awake. Probably not nearly as enjoyable as the mostly asleep one, but that's what you get.

Interfering at the Mall

We went to the mall last weekend to blow off a little steam. The kids desperately needed to be able to run and jump and move and it was cold and windy and what I would call misty.

We got there and I sat next to the little house. This is the one structure in the mall play area that is tall enough to actually climb, but clearly labeled do not climb. I figure I need to be close to keep my two climbers off. (Which turned out to be a good idea since they both tried it at different points in the afternoon.)

As I sat there I slowly became aware of a little girl who was going crazy. She was running and shoving and pushing and more than one crawling infant was stepped on. I was shocked, but said nothing.

Then she decided that the play house I was sitting next to was for girls only. My kids were over playing across the area so I tried my best to ignore her. Then she started to push some boys about her same age out of the play house. The boys naturally pushed back and then their mom had to discipline them for pushing. Nobody said anything to this little crazy person. While witnessing this happen mere feet from my sitting point I tried my best to ignore it. They are not my kids. They are not my kids. They are not my kids.

When the little girl nearly shoved the boy head first out the window on the side that his mother couldn't see I sprang up and caught him so he didn't fall. Then I couldn't help it, I told the girl that pushing and hitting were unacceptable behaviors. Then I sat back down thinking where is this kids parent?

Then I spent the next 20 minutes wondering if I did the right thing. The boy wasn't mine. The girl wasn't mine. The situation had nothing to do with me. The thing is when it comes to physical harm that might happen and it appears that nobody else can see I feel obligated to at least save the kid from harm.

And by the way, where was that girls parent?

Siblings

From the other room:

C: Ow! Mo-om, Greggie hit me.

M: Well, what do you think you can do about that?

C: ... Annoy him?

M: I think you mean ignore him.

Thing That Get Broken

Being a mom of two small children I'm used to things of mine being ruined. That music box I had since I was a kid? Ripped to shreds. That makeup brush I use everyday? Chewed to bits. My brand new sofa? Markered.

But today crossed the line.

And it wasn't even the kids!

Percie.

I have tried everything I know how to keep that dumb dog from getting on the counter. I've tried punishment. I've tried distraction. I've tried positive reinforcement for staying out. I've even tried tape on the edge. Nothing works. I just have to keep zero food on the counter. Zero dirty plates. Zero anything that might interest her. That's why when I brought her into the house due to wet weather today I felt pretty confident. I had wiped every surface and put away every dish and cleaned everything off.

Then I was downstairs folding laundry. I hear a big crash from upstairs. I don't immediately react because I was waiting for the tears. They didn't come. Weird. So I decided to investigate. That stupid dog had pushed the butter dish, which was as far from the edge of the counter as I could get it, off the counter onto the floor. It smashed to pieces. I couldn't even find any big enough pieces of the handle on the top to glue together.

I know what you're thinking. It's just a butter dish. Totally replaceable. This is true, unless you know the story of this butter dish. We had purchased it with money we received from our wedding. It matches all our other dishes in the set. (Did I mention that I love matching things and sets?) It cost us $54. Dan's eyes nearly fell out when he saw that price, but we were (a) newly married and (b) using someone else's money. Those were the ONLY reasons I was able to get him to agree to the purchase.

So now the $54 butter dish is broken. Not to be replaced for probably a decade. I better come to grips with that fact. Oh well, it would probably have been broken by one of the kids at some point. This is why my china is still in the boxes.

My Little Helpers

The weatherman said there was going to be rain today. Having lived some time where raking fall leaves was always a wet affair I decided we would try to avoid that. This morning the kids and I went into the backyard and raked leaves into two piles. Then the kids ran and jumped and played in the crunchy crispness while I enjoyed the fall smell coming from the leaves. We opened all the windows and turned the fans on and now my house is filled with fresh autumn fragrance.

We didn't do a very thorough job of getting leaves up, but the trees haven't yet done a thorough job of dropping all of them. Plus, the kids loved it and were a surprising help. They loved shoving the leaves into the bag and then taking turns stomping the bag down.

Also why is it that some of my favorite photos of my kids are in fall leaves?

Greg from today and Charlotte from her first autumn ever.

Merry St. Birthaversary

A few weeks ago an unexpected box arrived at our front door via the FedEx guy. (By the way thanks FedEx guy for having dog treats in your truck. If you hadn't I would still be chasing Percie around our minivan in the front yard.) This unexpected box didn't actually surprise me thanks to grandmas and aunts we tend to get unexpected boxes pretty often. What did surprise me was that the name on the box was Dan's. Dan never gets unexpected boxes.

I brought the heavy box inside and set it in the middle of the floor, awaiting Dan's return from work. There it sat and waited and waited and waited. That is until I couldn't wait anymore and just opened the top flaps. I pulled out the inner box and nearly melted. Now I really couldn't wait until Dan got home.

As soon as he saw me with the box he said, "Merry St. Birthaversary." He got me a brand spankin' new professional 600 series Kitchenaid mixer. You see, for a few months now my old mixer had stood on the counter broken by the two year old. When that happened Dan vowed he wasn't going to put another cent into fixing the thing as it had previously been broken a few times. I mourned the loss greatly as fall was coming on because I was feeling very much in the baking mood and it is much more difficult to bake things like wheat bread without a mixer.

So in case you didn't catch it this is my only present I'm getting from Dan for the next year (Merry Christmas, Happy St. Valentine's Day, Happy Birthday, Happy Anniversary). I don't mind though because this is such a wonderfully thoughtful gift. And just in time to use it for Thanksgiving.

Traveling Ideas

You know what would be good?

Fast across country trains. (Dan says their called high speed rails.)

I would totally do that as an alternative to planes.

Sometimes I imagine there's a train from Minneapolis to Spokane and the kids and I could just jump on it and see grandmas and grandpas.

We would buy those tickets. We could get up and move and play and travel and it would be fun.

I don't think we're in the minority here.

But maybe the tickets would be just as expensive and safety screenings just as bad and the seats just as uncomfortable.

So maybe that's why high speed rails haven't been developed across the country.