November 6th countdown

I'm sitting at work and I've had the worst cramps I've had in a long time. It's probably because I'm big now. Also my little baby has been moving all day long! It's funny to feel and I like it right now.

I found out that Dan's work is so busy right now he told me not to plan on him being there for the ultrasound (November 6th for those of you that don't already know). I tried really REALLY hard not to take this news too badly. I just said, "Well, at least Jenny will go with me. I'll miss you, but I'll make sure they record the still photos." (They forgot to record them during Jenny's ultrasound so she doesn't have anything to look at and remind her.) What I wanted to say was, "It'll only take like half an hour! They can't spare you for half an hour?! I'm not complaining about you getting home at 8PM and having no time to spare so I should at least get this one little thing! You're going to miss all the live action stuff where you can actually see the baby move! You're going to miss discovering our baby's sex! You're going to miss everything!" But I figure he already feels bad about not being able to go so I shouldn't make it worse. Plus, he probably doesn't realize he'll miss all the "live action" shots.

PS. Don't mention to him that I complained about him not making the ultrasound. He can't really help it. I just wanted to complain a little.

Mommies

In the past two days four pregnant women looking for scrubs to wear have come in to the store. When you're big and nothing fits, I guess scrub bottoms are the way to go in Utah. I do wonder if I'm noticing these women because I'm pregnant and getting big or if there really are a lot of them coming in right now. Who knows.

Here's something that nobody ever told me: when your baby is growing inside of you and getting bigger your insides feel like they want to explode. It's the feel you get after Thanksgiving dinner when you're so full it hurts, only you're not full. In fact, most of the time you're starving. There's just no room for anything left.

My husband has his interview at UW on Monday. Don't forget to send him some good thoughts and prayers! I'm so nervous for him! (I'm sure he's nervous too.) He's done so much preparation for his interview(s) this year. Plus, he's had the opportunity to realize that he really does want to be a doctor, going to med school isn't just another box on his life's checklist. I hope that translates to the interviewers. I know he's my husband so, of course, I think he would make the best doctor ever, but I really do think that he would be such a capable person for that job.

Week 19 present from my sister: I heart daddy onsie! So cute and so appropriate for right now! I'm sure he'll love it when he sees it!

Lite Steam-A-Seam 2

This question is for anyone out there that works with fabric. I went to the fabric store the other day to purchase supplies for Christmas presents. I needed to get some fusable web. I instictively picked out the wonder-under because that's what I grew up with and I know how to use it really well. The lady at the counter told me that this new "Lite Steam-A-Seam 2" is really far supperior to what I had chosen and it had this extra feature of being paper lined on both sides of the glue, not just one. When you pealed the first paper off the glue is slightly sticky so it will stick to the fabric a little before you use the iron on it so you can be sure to put the piece exactly where you want it. I bought the song and dance hook line and sinker so I paid the extra to get the new and improved technology. My question is do you, that have worked with both brands, think it's worth it? The paper lining that you peal off first is falling off while I'm trying to trace my stencil so it doesn't seem like that second lining is really necessary. I'm not sure. What do you think? Also, what is your favorite brand of fusable web? Should I ditch both brands for one far superior that I don't yet know about?

I have two funny things to post about my husband today.

Funny Story #1

Yesterday, while my husband was at work, it snowed. It was the yucky rain-type of snow so I figured it would probably melt before he even got to see it. I have no idea why I thought this because the later it got the more snow-like it got and everything stuck. It was only about 1/2", but when my sweetie came home at 8 PM last night he was overjoyed! He actually suggested we walk to his brother's house in the cold at around 9 PM. I made him drive, but when we got over there he bent down in their front yard and made, "The first snowball of the season!" and threw it right at my butt. He didn't miss. It was really wet. I think growing up in Aberdeen made him lunie about snow.

Funny Story #2

So after posting about trying to find some maternity jeans I found a pair of jeans at gap. They are awesome! Mostly because my insides aren't being squeezed, which is why I have decided that I will only ever wear elastic waisted pants from now on for the rest of my life. Well, probably just for the rest of my pregnancy. I only purchased one pair of pants because they were a little pricey and they only had one pair in my size in the entire store. (I know right now you're thinking, "She said this story would be about her husband, but all we're getting is more shopping news!" It's coming, I promise.) I was at work on Tuesday and I spilled some food on my jeans. I was really upset about this because I just did my laundry on Monday so it will be a while until I can do it again (we don't have a washer and dryer at our house yet). So yesterday I had to wear my old jeans. I was telling this to my husband and he asked, "How dirty are they?" I said, "As it turns out I only have two levels: clean and dirty." Apparently he has a whole spectrum of dirty, some of which are still acceptable to wear out in public. That story doesn't sound very funny written down, but I think it's funny.

PS.

When I came in to work today the girl that worked yesterday left the heat on. Not only that she left it all the way up to 80 degrees! I came in and I turned it down and I'm still roasting an hour later! Who leaved the heat on when nobody is in the building? Who heats a business up to 80 degrees? I just don't get it.

Grocery Shopping

I'm almost positive that this will be the most boring post I've ever written, but I wanted to know what others think about this topic. Grocery shopping is perhaps my very least favorite of activites. I am known to spend weeks just foraging through empty cupboards, inventing new dishes out of nothing until eventually I have to face the facts and go to the grocery store. This avoidance has been compounded with our current situation of being 30 minutes from the closest grocery store. In order to make sure I get everything we will need and also keep my time in the store to a minimum I make a two week eating schedule and then purchase only the ingredients that are on that list. Today at work I did the schedule and list on the computer. Now I feel like an obsessed, nerdy woman and walking around the store with my list might be too much for me. We'll have to see. My question is does anybody else hate to grocery shop? Does anyone else make a list of only the items that will be in the meals during the week? (I generally don't buy snack foods, not because I don't like to snack, or I don't want to spend the extra money, but because that would mean more time in the store.)

Mineral Deposits

In case any of you have encountered this problem I thought I'd share the small miracle of modern chemsitry that happened last night. I got a brand new maternity top from my mom a couple of weeks ago and decided to iron it before wearing it. It had come via UPS and was really wrinkled because it's 100% cotton. It took a while, but I was really excited because it is really cute and I'm tired of just looking fat rather than pregnant. As I was on the final section before finishing, my iron decided that would be the perfect time to leave a huge white streak across the front of the shirt. This is a mineral deposit that comes because I live in Utah and have very hard water. Also, I very rarely actually press the self-cleaning button on my iron. The stain showed up and I couldn't wear the shirt. I decided that I would wash it. Yesterday, when I was doing the washing I noticed it didn't come out in the wash. I sprayed it with shout (always my first course of action) and then put it back in the machine. No luck. So I did what any resourceful woman would do, I called my mom. She said to try vinegar. I tried vinegar on my shirt and rubbed the spot. Some of the stain came out, but you could still clearly see the streak. Just as I was about to give up hope on my new shirt that I had never been able to wear I decided to call my aunt. She told me to try Lime-Away. I was worried because this product clearly has marked on the label "Danger: Corrosive to skin and eyes." That doesn't sound like something you should be putting on your new shirt, but I was despirate. It makes sense too, if the prodcut can remove Lime deposits "from a variety of household surfaces" why not my shirt? So I put on the rubber gloves and sprayed away. Just like magic the stripe was gone! I then rinsed the shirt four or five times just to make sure all the Lime-Away was gone. So, if you're ever stuck in this situation, now you know.

Working with Incompetence

My job is easy and by easy I mean I can usually count on at least 2 hours a day with absolutely nothing to do. It is for that reason that I get so angry when I come in to work and the girls that have worked the day before me have left whole boxes of things that haven't been put away. Mostly their excuse is that they were too busy. I know that this is a lie. I know this because there is a program on our computer that shows how much sales were done the day before and also how much sales each associate has rung up and guess what, I'm the highest seller. If I'm the highest seller and my days are consistently more busy than the other days and I still have hours of free time then I know the other girls have plenty of time to get the job done. How annoying!

88 cents

**Warning** this post is completely about my shopping debacle yesterday.

This post will need a little background before the really crushing part will come. While growing up, since probably 9th grade, I have had to spend at least $70-100 on jeans. Some of you may not think that's a lot of money for a pair of jeans, but others may think I'm absolutely crazy. The reason that I have spent so much on jeans is that I'm tall and it seems almost impossible to find jeans that fit me and aren't 2-3 inches too short. My husband thinks it's still way too much for jeans (I never tell him how much my sister spends on jeans because he might have a heart attack) since he wears levis that cost approximately $30 and buys them only when they're on sale for under $20. Since living with him I haven't purchased a pair of jeans for myself. That's not to say I haven't gotten any new jeans, they've just been presents. Anyway, I was thinking that perhaps my husband is right and I'm just looking in the wrong places to find a pair of jeans that fit nice.

Jump to my present situation. I'm almost 18 weeks pregnant and I'm still wearing my size 6 pre-pregnancy jeans. This may sound absurd, but there are a few factors that have made this situation not so bad. Factor 1: they're gap jeans and I don't know if anyone else out there has experienced the phenomenon of the ever expanding gap jeans. The first wear out of the dryer is how they fit in the store for about 1 hour. After that they become pretty big. Before my pregnancy I wore belts to coutneract this, but now I don't need them. The pants just expand. Factor 2: they're a little low cut (not immodestly so, my tummy is always covered). This means that after expanding to full extent they can kinda go below the belly. Keep in mind that I am wearing maternity shirts so they cover that whole area anyway. This has been OK up until a little while ago that I noticed that trying to bend over to pick things up or lean forward when I'm sitting down is uncomfortable. I decided last week that I really should just bite the bullet and go purchase some pregnancy jeans.

Jean shopping has always been depressing for me because I try on about a billion jeans that fit great, but are too short or that are long enough, but way too big. Also my concern was that pregnancy clothing is a restricted category as it is so there wont be the selection I would like. I was thinking about how much I used to spend on jeans when I happened to see that JCPenny was having a buy one get the second for 88 cents sale on their maternity clothing. I decided for 88 cents I can at least go try. I went with my sister-in-law who is also pregnant. My excitement was actually building when going in because you have to have positive thinking when shopping. We tried on jeans and pants and shirts. NONE of them were long enough. In fact some of them were so short that my sister-in-law laughed when I came out of the dressing room. She found some really really cute jeans that fit her great. I decided to buy two shirts just so that the trip wasn't a bust. I guess I'm just stuck wearing my pre-prego jeans until I can figure something else out. At least this way nobody can say I didn't try.

Money Matters

My husband and I have a very similar idea about how money should be spent. Our philosophy on spending money is don't, unless you have to. That means that we both find no problem in paying for rent, utility bills, insurance, and groceries. It is just in other things that spending money comes into conflict. Let me clarify here the conflict is rarely with each other. In fact we both will think several days about something we want to spend money on before we even bring it up with the other person and then most times the other person agrees that the expense is reasonable. We both had this philosophy in varying degrees before we married so the transition has been a rather smooth one. I do not bring this up to tell everyone how great my husband and I work together or how responsible we are or anything of the sort. I bring it up because I didn't realize it until a couple of days ago.

I realized, with the help of family and friends, that since moving to Utah I have had absolutely no outlet for myself that is my own. My husband saved his graduation money and bought a membership to the local climbing gym that he goes to twice a week and gets to have alone time doing something he loves to do. I on the other hand never set up anything like that for myself. I realized last weekend perhaps one reason that my mother-in-law is so good at so many crafts and music things. Those were things that she could do by herself and for herself to get out of the house and the "mom" mode. (Not that I'm in the mom mode yet, but I think everyone needs time for themselves.) So I decided to go see if I could sign up for any classes. I had a problem with that since we just moved in the area I don't really know of any places that offer adult classes on, well, really anything. What the class teaches isn't really the point. Getting out of the house and meeting new people and doing something on my own is really the point. Also I realized that this wasn't really a need so spending money on it seemed like something I didn't really need to be doing. I went to the fabric store and they had a quilting class that I signed up for. Now we get back to the money subject. I've never committted to spending that much money without at least talking to my husband about it first. (Not that the class was that much money, but I need to buy the fabric to make the quilt and, well, fabric isn't cheap*.) I had a hard time doing it too, not because I hadn't talked to my husband, but because taking a quilting class isn't a need. Clearly it is just something I want to do so I stay sane, but I had decided that it was OK. That night when my husband came home I told him what I had done. I don't really know what I expected him to say or do but I was so pleasently surprised with his response! He said that he thought it was a good idea and that we would figure out how budget for the class and fabric. I also told him I was thinking it would be good if I talked to my OB about any prenatal fitness classes that I might be able to sign up for and he thought that was a great idea.

Don't I have a great husband? Maybe I was getting him worried with the ammount of crying I've been doing lately and he thinks, like I do, that these classes might help me stop crying. I'm not sure. What I am sure about is how much he values me. He wants me to be happy, even if it means that we have less for other things. He is so great!


*Also I need a sewing machine, rotary cutter, cutting board, and ruler for the class. I will need to borrow these from family as I don't own any of them. I hope I'm not imposing too much in that regard, but the idea of the class just made me so excited. Plus, it's only for a day and I hope to return everything in excellent condition.

Out of Control

I'm sure I'm not alone in this feeling, but I still wanted to vent my frustration about it for a little while. I feel like my emotions are completely out of my control right now. Not only that, I feel like they are very volatile--if I'm happy then I'm the happiest I could ever be, if something happens that normally would irk me a little right now it seems like the biggest problem. Most frustrating of all is that I feel like it takes almost all of my energy not to cry at the weirdest moments in front of everyone. My worst fear is that I'm just going to break down in front of everyone and completely embarass myself and probably my hsuband at the same time. I just want to hide away right now until things calm down. Then I think that's silly since I figure the reason for this instability is my pregnancy and that's not really going away anytime soon. I can't just be a hermit and not live my life. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to run away from home for a week though? I could go somewhere and just relax and not worry about how I seem to anyone else. That's completely impractical right now though.

Two Great Books

When I went home I made a much needed visit to my favorite library. It has a seemingly endless supply of great books and the librarian knows me so well the books she suggests for me to read are always captivating. I've loved all but one of her suggestions during my reading history. This amazing librarian is my mother and the library is her personal library located in our basement. I recently finished two of the books I borrowed from her library and both were amazing.

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan was so great! It is a novel decidedly about women, but despite being in a foreign country during a foreign time I could easily draw similarites in my own life.

The Life of Pi is such an amazing story! I truly do recommend this book to everyone!

The only problem with the reading of these two books is now I want to talk to someone else who has read them and see what they think of them. There are so many questions I would like to talk about. Both had group discussion questions in the back of the book that sounded very much like topic questions for papers that high school seniors have to write. Regardless of that I would very much like to talk about some of them. For instance, do you think the narrator of the first book was the hero or the villan? How does what a society consider beautiful shape the people and how do the people in turn shape what the society thinks of as beautiful? Or for the Life of Pi I would like to know if people believe Pi's first story of what happened or the second story he told the investigators? What is the significance of the book being exactly 100 chapters? Does Pi's story make you believe in God? What do you make of the floating island?

Anyway, these books are great! You should read them. Then when you do you should tell me what you think!

A Muscle Spasm?

This morning as I was laying in bed I felt something. I would describe it as a muscle spasm. The only thing that makes this not a muscle spasm was that it was inside my stomach, where I've never had a muscle spasm before. I'm pretty sure you can't get muscle spasms inside of you anyway. I felt this little feeling all morning long and debated as to whether or not it was indeed a muscle spasm or my baby moving. It felt really rather high to be my baby in my mind. This feeling was about 3 inches above my belly button. I decided to call my mom and ask her and she said you don't get muscle spasms inside of you. So now I'm really excited that I felt my baby move for the first time today! Yeah!

Also today I bought new bras. I didn't realize how much larger I had gotten, but I did go up an entire cup size and when I put on the new one it was like a miracle had happened! Suddenly I wasn't being squeezed in! It feels great. My advice for anyone is when you think your getting bigger don't put off gettting a new bra. You will be much happier if you have a bra that fits.

I also have a new project that I'm super excited about. I can't say what it is because it's that time of the year when people can't know what you're getting them for Christmas! (Christmas is coming!)

My McGuyver

Well this weekend was great! I just wished we had more time to spend with everyone. Also we didn't get to say goodbye to Dan's dad. Our travel for this trip was a little out of the ordinary. We flew up Saturday morning (because Daniel had to work late Friday) and then drove my brother's Toyota Solara back to Utah to deliver it to my grandma, who purchased it from my brother. My grandma lives about 1.5 hours south of our house. Our original plan was that we drove our car down to her house Friday night and then left it there. When we would drop off the sports car on Sunday we would pick up our car and head north again to our house. Well, Sunday night came and Daniel didn't really want to add almost 4 hours to our trip. Since I didn't work Monday I told him we could stop at home for the night and then in the morning I could drive the car down to grandma's on my own. This genious plan (that my mom came up with) would make it so we got home at 8:30pm. So we called grandma and she said it was ok. Everything worked out well until we were walking to the front door of our home when I asked him, "Do you have my car keys with the house key on it?" He replied, "No I left those in our car at Grandma's." This posed a problem since I had locked our trailor before leaving on Friday. So we were locked out. Luckily my handy husband had brought all his tools down from home to be able to do some odd jobs for some people here. We found an old flashlight and to our surprise when we turned it on there was a weak yellow glow! After trying every window and realizing that I had also done a very good job at locking all of them we went up to the front door. We tried many tactics but the one that worked was when Daniel took the pins out of the hinges and then pushed it as far away from the latch side and used an alan wrench to jimmy the lock open! It was truly amazing! Now we know that if someone really wanted to get into our trailor a locked door really wouldn't stop them. We also found out that our neighbors really wouldn't stop them either. (They didn't even look out the windows at us.)

Mourn with those that mourn

This morning I found out some hard news about a really good friend of mine. We both got married the same year and right away she and her husband started trying to get pregnant. My husband and I weren't so ready right away, but I wished her well. When my husband and I were ready to start trying getting pregnant came pretty easily and quickly. She was so excited for us when I told her even though I was really nervous to tell her since I knew they'd been trying for a while. A couple weeks later she called and told me good news of her own! They were expecting and although things were pretty scary for them and the doctor was really concerned about the pregnancy the baby's heartbeat was loud and clear.

When I called her today she told me that on her last ultrasound (two days ago) the doctor couldn't find a heartbeat. Nothing. She said that yesterday her husband took off work and just stayed home with her while she was crying. She has a little pile of baby things (very similar to mine I'm sure) reminding her of what she just lost. When she told me I just started crying for her. I have no idea what it must be like, but I know that losing my baby was/is a big fear of mine. I spent an hour on the phone with her just crying and talking and doing my best to make her laugh or at least chuckle a little. All I wanted to do was sit down and cry with her and hug her and give her all the love I could because I know there's nothing I can do to help the situation. She asked all sorts of things about how my baby was doing and how my pregnancy was going but all the complaints I had seemed so selfish and trivial compaired to her's and all my little joys of my pregnancy seemed.....less so I guess.

I wish I knew what to say or something to do. All I could really do was cry right along with her. Maybe I could get her some little something to cheer her up. Any ideas would really help.

I don't really have a whole lot to say, but I thought it would be good to post something of an update. I went to the doctor yesterday and I have gained weight. It was only one pound, but I'm still so early in my pregnancy that he said not to worry. (And when my worries were gone I thought to myself, what a stupid worry.) He also said that I need to drink tons more water because I'm really dehydrated and also sleep more. I don't know how I'm going to sleep more because since I've been on my Unisom and B-6 I've been sleeping more than ever.

The real highlight of this week is going to be that my husband and I are going home this weekend! I only wish it could be longer! I'm trying not to complain about it because my husband does have to work and it will benefit us in the long run. I can't wait to see my sister! It feels like it's been forever since I got to see her. Also my husband and I are driving my grandma's sports car from Washington to Utah to bring it to her. That's kind of cool.

I get to have my ultrasound in six weeks! I'm so excited that it's finally scheduled and I can't wait until it happens and I get to see my baby's face!

My brother and sister-in-law are buying a house and moving down the street and I can't believe how long its taking. Everyone keeps calling them and asking them if they're moving yet and it's making me feel really bad for my sister-in-law because she's getting so stressed about it. From what I can gather the hold up is in the Salt Lake office of the underwriters for the loan that the people buying their house are getting and so my brother and sister-in-law can't close on their house until that happens which means they can't close on the house they're buying until then either. Anyway, everyone's getting so anxious about the whole thing and it would make anybody really stressed about the whole deal. Fingers crossed it'll happen this week!

Deep(?) thoughts

Yesterday I had an appointment related to me being pregnant and the lady needs to track my pregnancy weight gain so she asked what my pre-pregnancy weight was. I told her what the doctor had weighed me at and then when she weighed me it was exactly the same weight. I'm almost 14 weeks along in my pregnancy now and I have officially gained no weight. I think something must be wrong because I am growing. In fact I got my first stretch mark the other day and that proves I'm getting bigger. What an intersting puzzle, how does one grow in the tummy and boobs and not gain any weight. Now I'm anxious to see my doctor on Monday, then I can officially know how much weight I've gained. Some of you might be thinking she doesn't know how lucky she is that she doesn't have to worry about gaining too much weight. To that I respond, at least you're not throwing up, which is probably why I wasn't gaining all that much weight because I've been eating like crazy. I bet I have gained weight and that the two scales were just not calibrated to each other.

Anyway, I don't know if you noticed that I mentioned I got my first stretch mark. Yes, and when I found it I showed my husband (hoping that it wasn't what I thought it was) and he seemed to think that it was no big deal. To which I thought, no big deal, yeah right, because it's not your body! Then I calmed down and realized that it really isn't a big deal since it's on a spot that nobody but me, him and my doctor will ever see. Plus, wishful thinking says it might go away on it's own later. Who knows.

Speaking of my husband, I don't think I have every loved him more than I do right now! Sometimes just thinking about him makes me so happy I don't know why I don't explode, instead I just cry. My feelings about him are so tender and jumbled right now. I am proud of him, I love him, I'm worried for him, I'm (very occasionally) upset with him, and I can't stop thinking about how blessed I am to be with him. I look at how hard he is working towards his goal of becoming a doctor, and in a more general sense of just helping all the people he can. He literally does all he can to help those around him and it blows my mind away, especially since mostly he tries to help me. He is so proactive about his life's plans. I am so happy with our life together right now! The only worry I have is really for him. He's getting really very stressed out about his application process. He has his secondary applications into about 10 schools right now (I think) and he's only heard from one about inviting him for an interview. Nevermind that the school he's heard from is the one school that would be an answer to all our hopes and dreams. It's in the perfect location and is the perfect price (if there is such a thing). Nevermind that it's still September and there's plenty of time for him to still hear from schools. He's getting really upset about it. And it makes me worrry. Seared onto my memory with a burn that still hurts is the scene from last spring when I walked into our little apartment and found scraps of paper flung all over the floor. Only after I tried to piece them together did I realize that it was a letter from this very school declining acceptance to him. He had to go to work before I had gotten home so I just picked up the pieces and put it in an envelope to save until he later needed/wanted it. I know he has a big heart and willing hands. I know he's smart enough and strong (physically, emotionally, mentally) enough to fulfill his dreams. I despirately want this for him. I really don't care right now what sacrifices that means for us and our family. I know that's his dream and I want him to achieve it. I wish and hope others will be able to see this in him too.

One thing I think has really helped us taking this year off and living close to his older brother. His older brother is such a great example for him. His brother is an incredibly intelligent person, and also a very hard worker. He had plans to become a veteranarian, that have never worked out for him. In fact, most of his brother's big life plans haven't worked out the way he planned and yet he still has a life that can be envied! He has a wonderful and beautiful family that he can support and a job that is challenging to him. Although I know he would like to have been able to have his life a little different, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't change the love that he has for and from his family. He is a husband and father that anyone can be proud of. Now I don't want that to happen for my sweetie, but I know if it does that everything will be ok. I know I will love him no less. I hope that my husband sees the great example his brother is for him. Regardless of this great example, I still worry for my husband.

I've also been thinking about being a mom. I've been thinking about what motivates women (and me) to become a mom. It's got to be strong motivation because it's hard. I'm not even a mom yet, and I think it's hard just to have the babies. I feel like I'm in for the biggest surprise of my life because I really have no idea what it feels like to be a mom. Oh I have notions and little glimpses and memories of what my mom was like, but I realize that it's not the same. So my question for anyone, especially my mom and my mother-in-law, is what was/is your motivation to become a mom? What was/is your favorite part? What were/are your big struggles with the process?

One thing that I have really liked about being pregnant is how close it has brought me to my husband. I see him in a different light every day. He is so helpful! I would never be able to do this without his help! Man I love him!

Itching for Christmas

Well, it's not really Christmas, or the holiday season that I really want, but it is the next big thing to look forward to. What I really want is for time to move more quickly! I want to have my baby here. I'm so impatient! I feel like I should really be more happy about the whole pregnancy state and enjoying it much more. Now that I'm not barfing up everything I've eaten in a day I do enjoy it much more. Plus I'm almost into my second tri-mester (I'm a little over 12 weeks right now). The way I figure it the second tri-mester is the holy grail of pregnancy. For most women the sickness stops (maybe I'll get to stop taking Unisom?), you actually look pregnant and not just fat (which is where I'm at right now), and you're not so big that it's uncomfortable. Plus, in the second tri-mester you get to see an ultra-sound of your baby! I've had one already, but all it really looked like was a lima bean. Yesterday I went with my sister-in-law to her ultra-sound and her baby is so cute! The ultra-sound monitor was so good! You could see the little arms and legs and the head and the face. You can tell the sex (although they don't want to know so the nurse didn't even bother to look). If I'm wrong about this second tri-mester holy grail thing then brake it to me gently.

Back to my main point. I want my time to pass quickly. Yesterday I was talking to my 4 year old nephew trying to convince him that it was indeed fall and not summer any longer because it was now September. I could not, however, argue with his logic that it could not possibly be fall since all the trees were still green and none of them were dropping their leaves. Nuts! It's still summer. Not that I'm even excited at the prospect of winter, which is long and cold. It just marks the passage of time. Christmas will too. Remember when you were little and you got to make red and green paper chains to count down to Christmas? Well, I sort of like to do that for anything I'm looking forward to. I did it for my wedding (although the chain when I made it was ridiculously long and my roommate had good reason to make fun of me). See if you do that then every day can be an accomplishment towards your goal. I'd secretly like to do that for my baby, but you can't know the exact date of the birth, at least not this far out. Then if I make the chain and the baby comes soon I would feel completely off guard and if the end of the chain came and my baby wasn't here I would feel kind of depressed. I'm so neurotic, I know. There is no need to tell me this.

In the mean time I do know when Christmas is. I can excitedly think of presents for people (which takes a lot longer when you have to save up to get them). I can think of how I will make the season festive and I can think about how my family will be different this year with a little one on the way. I can count down to that. So right now I can't wait for Christmas!

Only a Woman Knows (and Loyd)

I dressed up for work today. I'm wearing a pretty dress and I decided on some sensible flats. Nothing that I thought would be bad for work when I got dressed today. Little did I know the torture I would be in today because of the dreaded nylons. The top of the waistband is digging into my expanding bellie! I can't seem to find a spot where they want to stay either. It's like trying to fit a hair rubber band on and egg. The top either wants to curl down past my bellie or I have to pull it way up over the top. Well, they don't actually reach to the top of my bellie (which would probably have been my preferred position today). I think this is a new form of torture for pregnant women. Now I know what you're thinking/saying to yourself, "She's a fool! They make maternity nylons!" All I have to say is that I'm only 12 weeks along. I haven't really needed anything maternity yet (although I have to admit it might be time to invest in some new clothes). My need for nylons today was sort of a last minute thing. I didn't plan it. I will not be wearing these again anytime soon. Trust me.

Two-Face

There are two things which I delight in "arguing" with my husband about. The first one is where, exactly, does the line for my half of the bed lie. The second one has to do with decorating. I like to "debate" with him over these things because we both know that in the end it really doesn't matter what answer we come up with. For example, when the "my side of the bed" argument was inititated I finally decided that the true line for my side of the bed lies approximately 3.5 inches from his edge of the bed. To that he decided that the whole top of the mattress must really be my half and his half lay in the air approximately 6 inches above the bed. Of course to get to his half of the bed he needed my help by laying directly on top of me squishing my guts out. Anyway, now it doesn't really matter whose half of the bed it is, if you want to sleep there, go for it.

We are currently in the throws of a towel rack debate. I say we need a new one he says our current system is OK. Last night the "argument" became completely comical when I stuck to my it'll look better and be better for drying towels point and he stuck to his we don't really need to change anything or spend any money at all point. I do have to concede that we don't really need it, but he also conceded that if we at least buy a new hook for the back side of the door it would probably solve a lot of issues. I also learned that he never uses hand towels to dry his hands, even if they're right next to the sink. He still turns around and uses the full sized towels that people have for after their showers! I thought that was really funny.

Rural America-Right Next to the Corn

Dan and I just moved to Rural America. We are actually living in a town instead of some unincorporated county area, but the town is probably six blocks on either side (if that). We don't even get to have mail boxes at our house, we have to have a PO Box because our town is too small. Also we don't have a sewer system. Yep, everyone has septic tanks (and some people just have ses pools-sick). Let me first say living here wasn't my idea--I never pictured myself in a town where everyone owns their own horse. I told Dan that the place we end up in has to at least have sidewalks. There are a few things that I absolutely love about the place we live in though. There are also some things that I think are cute/funny.

• Last night as I was driving home from work Dan called me and asked where I was, wondering how long it would take me to get home. When I said, "I'm at the slow part next to the corn," he knew EXACTLY where I was! How often do you hear that about your drive home?
• The valley that we live in is riddled with little lakes/swamplands. On my way home I get to see these beautiful vistas. Yesterday there were herons (at least that's what my uneducated eye thought they were) in one of those areas.
• I love to look at all the different crops growning and being harvested. It really is beautiful.
• Everyone in our town waves at each other. If someone is coming by you wave, even if you have no idea who they are. You will soon.
• There is a town square which is closed from dusk to dawn. They sell hunting permits in the town square during that time of the year.
• When we first moved in our neighbors would look out their windows checking us out each time we would go in. Now that we've introduced ourselves they must have figured we were OK and they no longer had to "keep an eye on the place" for the owners.
• Each person is linked with the house that they live in and each house is linked to the ORIGINAL owner/person who built it. Our in-laws "live in Sid's old house." We're "renting the Godfrey's trailor."
• I think half the town are Godfreys.
• I think at one point they've all had to spend some time living in our trailor.
• We have town pic-nics.
• You can see ALL the stars in the sky at night. It really is breath-taking.

If that doesn't make you love our town then you're crazy! There are things that I miss, like a grocery store less than half an hour away, but for one year of my life I think we made a great choice.

Because I never thought I'd be happy living in a place like this, and I am happy I was wondering if anyone else has had that experience. It doesn't necessairly have to be about living in rural America.

***Note, I will still want to have a sewage system, grocery store, and sidewalks in a town that I decide to live in for any extended amount of time.***