This N That

There are a few things I want to get down before I forget them, but they're not really worthy of a whole post themselves. Sorry if this is boring.

Charlotte:

• She says "me-mote" for remote
• She constantly talks about going to Aunt Heather's to climb, Grandma Denise's house to see Quinnie, and having Aunt Katie and Uncle Garrett taking her to see the kangaroo. What kangaroo? (None of which is going to happen anytime soon.)
• She's staying in bed at bedtime! This is amazing!
• She is very interested in gender. Usually it goes something like this "Baby Jimmy is a boy, and Daddy is a boy, and Tigger (Grandma LeAnn's dog) is a boy, but Rommie and Mischief (also Grandma LeAnn's dogs) are girls. Quinnie is a girl and so is Mommy."
• She's started to get mad. A lot. I was getting a little worried about it so I brought it up to Daniel. His response was, "Well she is part of the family and my family's default emotion is mad." I thought that was funny.

Greg:

• He is quite possibly the world's stinkiest baby. Not in the way you'd think though. He is always wanting to be swaddled when he sleeps, which is still most of the day, and it's hot. So he sweats. And stinks.
• He never wants to sit down. He is always wanting to stand up. He hooks his little feet onto anything that could give him leverage and pushes until his body is rigid.
• Everyone says he looks like Daniel now. I now think he looks like my dad.
• His favorite toy is the shower curtain.
• He LOVES his sister. When she's around he's always watching her. I wonder when she'll notice.
• We moved him into his crib to share the bedroom with Charlotte. This is AWESOME. In no way have the even bothered each other.

Dan:

• I can't wait for this month to end! Not that next month promises to be much better, but at least he'll be closer to home.
• For future reference, if you're calling home because you want me to know you're going to be late, but I don't pick up, the proper thing to do is to leave a message. If you don't leave a message, I will then spend the next 2.5 hours until you call me back worrying that what was really going on was that you were kidnapped and you were sending me an SOS to call the police to come find you. When I try to call you back and you don't answer because you're with a patient, it just leads me to believe that you are gagged and tied up and I really need to go get help. That's the way my mind works. Because that type of thing happens all.the.time.
• How exactly do you function on so little sleep?
• I'm so glad you and Charlotte will be going to the Cardinals game on Thursday. I think you guys will really have fun with each other.

Me:

• I've made an exercise goal for myself. I'm exercising for 100 days and at the end I'm buying myself a new outfit. Pretty awesome huh?
• Because I'm 7 I made myself a sticker chart to track my exercising progress. Yes, stickers are a great daily reward for myself because I'm cool like that. My favorite are the foil stars. Do you remember those?
• My mom is coming this weekend to visit and I'm so ridiculously excited.
• I cut out my new quilt kit a while back and started to sew it together yesterday. I wasn't paying enough attention to seam allowance though so now I have to unpick everything I sewed yesterday. Great.

Logic

Charlotte and I have four or five conversations that run in a constant loop throughout the day. Here is a sample of my least favorite:

Me: "Charlotte please don't do that."
Charlotte: "But I can."
Me: "I know you can. I'm asking you to please not."
Charlotte: "I will."
Me: "Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop."

I'm not entirely sure how to impart the idea that just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.

Give Away

Not mine. I have nothing worth giving away at the moment. My cousin Hilary though is a very talented artist. She has an etsy shop and is having a give away. You should go check it out.

Magical

I got tired of seeing that last post at the top of the screen when I looked on my blog so I thought I'd post something a little more fun. When she was visiting us Grandma LeAnn bought us a year membership to The Magic House. I think living in St. Louis is going to ruin me for the rest of the country. There are so many awesome kid things to do here (which are free or really cheap) and The Magic House is no exception. Thanks to our membership we will be getting photos like these for the rest of the year:

Charlotte is taking a ride in Cinderella's carriage.

Here she is driving what I think is some sort of pretend delivery vehicle.

Coping

So third year is hard. Not last month. Last month was a breeze. I kept hoping that the month would never end. Which basically means that it was over in an instant. This month slammed into me and keeps right on going with a seemingly endless marathon of coping. It's like summer skipped right past fall and landed me in the middle of winter. (That analogy only works if you're not talking about the climate of St. Louis. In St. Louis summer is a season to avoid. Don't ever vacation here in August. You might just die.)

I recently read a good friend's post about his hours during third year and what he's doing and they are what I imagine my husband to be doing right now as well. All I can say is that he's gone. He'd be here, with me and with our children, if he could, but he can't. Right now we are sacrificing with the faith that it will be worth it in the end. Mostly I think I'm doing just fine. Mostly I think we're coping well.

And then.

Then Charlotte wakes up from her nap asking, begging, for me to get Daddy. What a joke right? Now, when he can't be here, she's finally decided that she prefers him for some things. Not only that, we can't try to call him because he doesn't get great reception in the hospital and he might be too busy to talk anyway.

Then we're with a group of other women and children with spouses in medical school or residency. They're all talking about what their husbands are doing. The conversation is light and fun. Suddenly I'm thinking about Daniel being gone and having to put the kids to bed by myself three days in a row and I start to get choked up a bit.

Intellectually I know many other families go through similar situations. I also know that many families go through much tougher challenges. That doesn't change the coping that has to go on in our family when Daniel-the husband, friend, dad, lover, joker, and anchor-is gone. We hope he is energized about what he's doing and learning. We love to see him take the next step towards our collective goal. We also miss him.

I Bet You're Jealous Now

So this is the post wherein I make you all wish you could be me. Just letting you know. Today we went with some friends to pick blackberries. Here are the photos of the day.


We started out the day bright eyed and bushy tailed and on the bus to the blackberry patch.

Then we picked and ate and picked and ate the blackberries.

Charlotte didn't quite understand being gentle while picking so mostly she smashed the blackberries in her little hands.
She also managed to get quite a few in her mouth and all over her face. I'm not sure if you can really see it in the photo, but she did mange to get blackberry in her right ear.

After my kids get up from their naps I'm calling my friends to come over and make freezer jam with me. It's gonna be great.

Getting Better

The last few days Charlotte has actually asked me for things politely without needing to be reminded. It's been amazing. Not every time, but to even have it happen on its own has been a little relief. Then today we went and visited her best friend and the two of them are doing SO MUCH BETTER about not fighting. Charlotte still has a way to go, but I can see a definite improvement. That's comforting.

Also, Greg has decided to start putting things in his mouth and grabbing for toys within reach. He's getting so big! It's exciting. Pretty soon we'll have baby slobber on everything!

Growing

Daniel says he can't remember ever having growing pains. I do. I remember laying in bed one night when I was young and my legs just aching with them. Does anyone else remember having those? When I told my mom about them she let me know that it was happening because I was growing so fast. That's why when I learned about how sometimes people cut their bones and then use screws to have them grow back longer I just cringed. That would be so painful.

I feel like the last three months of my life I've had a different sort of growing pain. I feel like I can literally feel myself growing in my abilities as a mom, and sometimes it isn't pleasant, but always it amazes me.

I worried about not being able to love my second child as much as I do my first. Honestly it didn't happen right away. Now though, I feel the love I have for him opening up in my heart like a huge well with no bottom. An eternal capacity to love him. He can coo and sit and loves to have me hold his hands to stand up. He's learning to laugh and it's so funny to watch him try. He is always looking around for his sister. He is amazing. When I see him I think to myself, how could anyone not absolutely love him?

I'm also being pulled to see how much I can get done in a day. This sounds a little shallow after talking about my love for my son, but it is significant. At times it really has been a confidence booster and at other times one of the most discouraging parts to my day. I can accomplish more today than I ever could when Charlotte was 3 months old. I have a greater capacity than I thought. I know this because each day has more activities and tasks than I can get done. Every.day. I have learned to pick and choose what I will be doing.

I'm growing in my ability to lovingly discipline my daughter. I desperately want her life to be puppies and rainbows and sunshine and I want to be the one that gives her every good thing that she will love all the time. In reality that can't happen and I have to be the bad guy sometimes. And I hate it. Also, I hate when I'm not successful at it-when the only thing I accomplish is making her cry and me angry. This is where the painful part of growing comes in. I'm getting better at it. I'm finding things that work and things that do not work and knowing that I'm getting better feels really good.

Along with disciplining my daughter my life is pulling me toward more self discipline. Confession: My life requires more self discipline than I currently have. I wish I could get up before my children so that I could use that time for myself productively. I wish I could continue to be productive all through the afternoon. I wish I didn't get angry so easily (or at all really). Unfortunately that isn't happening right now. SLEEP is way more important than any of that at the moment. I do see that little by little I am able to tuck in things I want to get done between things that I have to get done. I am also getting better at controlling my actions and words, even when I'm frustrated. I'm getting better. Not every day. Actually most days are tiny steps backward than forward, but I do see the forward movement and it makes it worth it.

So even though I sort of feel like two kids are stretching me farther than I am able, when I have enough sleep and energy to stand back and look at the situation I am ever so happy with it. My children, by just being themselves, are helping me to become the person I want to be.

A New Gem

We went to the St. Louis City Garden today and it is awesome. If you can you should go there. Next time we go I'll remember the camera. And I'll remember to not leave my glasses there.

Misunderstanding

On Sunday Charlotte temporarily broke our TV. She decided that it needed to be cleaned and proceeded to spray it with the water sprayer that I use on her hair. Needless to say, the TV doesn't do well with a bath. Overnight it dried out and everything turned out OK, but that night she was completely heartbroken to have been the one to break the TV. I desperately tried to calm her down, but nothing was working. Then I said, "Let's call Grandma and tell her what happened." Her response was incoherent bawling and nodding her head. Then I said, "You have to calm down because people can't understand you when you're crying on the phone."

Surprisingly it worked! She calmed down enough to talk to grandma and the calm did last for a little bit. So then when the tears started back up we called the other grandma and told her. It really helped.

A few nights later we were eating dinner and she started to tell us the story of the baptized TV. (She does this often when she wants to be part of a conversation.) She got to the part where I'm convincing her to call her grandparents and she says, "People can't stand me when I cry." I almost shot milk out my nose at that because it's so very true.

Progress

The weekend before Daniel started his thrid year he decided that it was high time we got the dining room painted. I'd been wanting to get it painted, but as you know, in a house this old nothing is as simple as it sounds. In order to paint the room we needed to fix any cracks in the wall and the texture of the walls so that they would match above and below the chair rail and also the rest of the house. Daniel worked very hard that weekend, but it didn't get finished.

Then third year started.

So now, a month later, we have it done. I must say that I'm pleased with how it turned out, but even more pleased with not having to eat in the living room anymore.

Here is a shot of before, just to remind you of what it used to look like. It wasn't bad, it was just really dark (and sort of purple).

Here is what it looks like now!

And yes, these photos do convince me that someone other than myself should be taking the photos of our house when we put it up for sale.

Lazy Days

My sister mentioned to me a while back about how when she's at church she hears a lot about how being a mom is really hard. Her reaction to that, not yet being a mom herself, is to think gee you're really making that sound like I should run in the other direction. I understand what those women are doing and saying while at church, they are mostly surrounded by other moms and sharing your struggles sometimes lessens them and also other moms might have a tip or two with what you're struggling with. I also think that it's important to watch what you say. Being a mom does have it's challenges, but it also has it's rewards. Too often I find myself putting my focus on my struggles and not my successes.



Like yesterday.



Do you remember when you were little and the summer days just seemed to stretch out before you with endless possibilities? I remember being in the huge backyard of the neighbor's house across the street running through their sprinkler and loving it. It's for that reason actually that I always prefer to buy that type of sprinkler for our lawn.



Getting back to yesterday, I had watched one of Charlotte's little friends in the morning and was just about as exhausted as watching two two-year-olds for about 4.5 hours can get you. After her friend left Charlotte decided she didn't need to take a nap, but boy did she ever. I decided to give up on the productivity I was going to have that day and, remembering my love of running through the sprinkler, I thought I'd try to turn it on and she if she likes it too.



She ran around it a couple of times and then was bored. I was focusing on the challenge before me and not the opportunity. That is until I realized that nobody likes to run through the sprinkler alone so I decided to go out and enjoy the summer and indulge myself. We ran through the sprinkler and around the backyard for about an hour. It was at that point that I was so happy that my daughter had such a full and fun summer day. The type of day that I had and look back on and love.


My favorite thing about being a mom is giving my children moments like yesterday. Moments that she can look back on and say she had joy and love and that her mom liked to be with her and have fun with her. I know she wont remember much of her two year old little self, but I have faith that I'm laying the foundations of future awesomeness.

Fore

Grandpa Greg purchased Baby Greg his first golfing outfit which he wore to church yesterday. He got many complements.

Also, I got an interesting view of myself from my daughter's eyes yesterday. She was being particularly bossy towards everyone last night when this conversation insued:

Dan: "Charlotte, you need to stop."
Charlotte: "No"
Dan: "You're not the boss of everyone."
Charlotte: "Yes, I'm mommy."

Apparently I must be very bossy in her eyes.

The Gateway Drug

We visited over at some friends' house last Saturday and I mentioned that I was tired of watching The Incredibles (or really hearing it from the other room) and the wife offered to let us borrow some of her movies. I told her that it would be great for a little break and went over to look. She has a much better collection than I of Disney movies so I picked up Cinderella and The Lion King. I thought Cinderella would be a hard sell for Charlotte since she prefers The Incredibles to The Little Mermaid at home so The Lion King was to hedge my bet.

We have watched Cinderella EVERY DAY since then. My daughter loves it. What's more she didn't really get The Lion King. I was surprised at how wrong I was about what she would like. Now that she knows about Cinderella I'm sure it wont be long until she finds out about the whole slew of Disney Princesses.

What to Wear

I recently received a promotional email from the Picture People. They offered to get a free picture packet including one 8x10 a sheet of 5x7 and a sheet of wallets for FREE. I called to ask if I'd need to pay for a sitting fee thinking that there's got to be a catch, but there isn't. So I scheduled another session for Greg to get his photos taken. He already had them taken by the Picture People, but I hadn't planned right so he was hungry and tired and Charlotte wasn't too happy and so the photos, though good, weren't necessarily my favorite of him. I'm excited that they're essentially giving me a free re-do! Now I've just got to figure out what to put him in.

Attitude Adjustment

You know how every so often you're going along just fine and then one day a while later you realize that you're no longer quite so peaceful, happy, or content as you used to be? I realized that last weekend. Or rather what I realized I needed was an attitude adjustment. I've been losing my cool way too much with my children, finding fault with my husband where there really isn't any, and getting overly annoyed at the little things in life that aren't exactly as I would like them.

I know what you might be thinking, "you've got a two month old baby, that explains a lot." But the thing is that I don't think that's it. Or maybe it is, but I don't want to use that as an excuse. I don't feel like that's it anyway.

So I've decided to make a conscious effort to stay positive. Like last night when I'd worked really hard to clean the house (I even vacuumed under the couch cushions) and then still had the kitchen to clean after putting Charlotte to bed. I could really have lost it right then. I felt myself getting really mad, but then I thought, what's the point? So I just did the dishes and wiped off the counters and then as I was walking out of the room, just before I turned off the light I looked back at the clean kitchen knowing that my entire house was clean. That was a good feeling.

Or today when I took the kids to the Botanical Gardens with some friends. This is an activity that Charlotte normally loves, at a time she is normally most energetic, but not today. We made it all the way to the back of the gardens to feed the fish (which is what she requested in the first place) when she decided she wanted to be carried. I had Greg in the baby carrier and no stroller so we walked the entire way back to the entrance with her howling. My saintly friend took her 9 month old baby out of her stroller so I could put Greg in it and deal with Charlotte. I tried to get her to stop crying but it was no use. I wasn't carrying her after she acted like that. The people passing us were literally staring as snot was shooting out her nose. When we were close to the exit one very helpful father said, "You're almost there." I could have gotten frustrated that none of my plan had worked out that day, OK, well, I was mad. But instead of losing it I just laughed because there was nothing else I could do. I had tried my best and things just didn't work out.

So anyway, my point is that I'm trying to stay more positive and on top of things. I really am. My plan is to try and overlap naps at least a little and take some time to just relax. Everyone needs a break right?

4th of July--Take 2

My camera battery died on the 4th of July so I didn't get to take these. Here's what my kids wore to church on the 5th. Here's what they wore on the 4th.

Aren't they the cutest?

We've Got Worms

Night before last Charlotte woke up about midnight screaming about worms being in her bed and touching her. Daniel went in to try and convince her that in fact she was dreaming and there were no worms in her bed. Try as he might he could not convince her. She knew better. So he ended up bringing her into our bed. For the first time in her life she spent the night with us. Which meant that Daniel spent the night on the floor next to the bed.

When she got up we tried to show and convince her that there were no worms in her bed, but she wasn't buying it. She refused to nap in her bed yesterday afternoon. So after dinner Daniel took her upstairs and de-wormed her bed. I pretended to look up on the computer how to get rid of worms then I told her you have to jump on your bed three times and then vacuum under the bed to suck up all the worms that fell out. If you do that three times all the worms will be gone. So she and Daniel went upstairs and did just that. It was really funny to listen to her dad very seriously tell her that she had to jump very high to get all the worms out. She actually made him jump on one end, which must have been the end that the worms were in in her dream. Then we all piled on her bed together to show her that there were no more worms. Luckily it worked and she slept in her bed all through the night.

Steak Dinners

My husband got his board score today. What a relief! He did very well and I'm so proud of him. It really made the 8 weeks or so of not really getting to see him worth it.

When I told my husband I had called my mom and sister to tell them how awesome he did he asked me if I had remembered to thank them for helping us through that time. I admit that I neglected to thank them. So to everyone that came to us for that two month time period,

Thank You!

From the bottom of our hearts. He could not and we could not have done it without you. We love you.

A Testament

When Daniel was on his mission in Chile he decided to buy a wonderful alpaca blanket. It was purchased for his future wife, which he had never met. Then I got it for Christmas the year we were engaged. I love this blanket.


When Daniel was 8 he realized how awesome all his brio train set stuff was so he packed it up and stored it. For his future children. Last vacation we were at his parents' place and we dug it out of all the stored stuff. We didn't have enough room to put it in our luggage home so Grandma LeAnn mailed it to us. It arrived yesterday and I took photos. They are a testament to Daniel's foresight and Grandma LeAnn's insight.


She had added a set of farm animal stuff.

And sent it in a big box full of packing peanuts.