Conspiracy Theory

My family is trying to kill me. Do I have hard evidence of that? No. But I give you my reasoning:

Why would my sweet child, who had previously been sleeping at least 5 hours at a time if not 7, suddenly decide to revert back to 3?

Why would my husband have to work evening shift last week and then night shift this week at the hospital catching babies? Or is he just saying he has to work, but really he's in cahoots with the non sleeping child? Maybe he's going over to someone else's house. Someone who has a sleeping child. Then he comes back home at 8 AM and goes back to bed to sleep for six more hours just to throw me off the scent.

Why would my sweet older child decide to get sick right at the same time? Requiring me to wake up multiple times a night and get her water so she doesn't cough until she throws up. This means I have gotten no more than two hours of sleep at a time.

Why also would my sweet child decide that he no longer can self soothe when waking up too early from his afternoon nap? Then my dear husband doesn't know how to soothe him so I must then wake up from the only nap I've had in DAYS in order to get said child back to sleep.

Then to top it all off, I'm awake from soothing said child so I pick up the house. Dear husband doesn't want me to get too suspicious so he helps pick up the house. Then what does dear husband do? Goes to sleep!

You may say that I'm crazy. You may say that all of these just happen to coincide at the same time. But I know the truth. They're slowly but surely trying to kill me.

It's A Pack Pack

We went shopping on Saturday and Charlotte found another thing she's in love with. I took a video.

She wore it around Eddie Bauer for a good five minutes before we made her take it off.

Strange things my daugher loves:

• Unsharpened pencils
• Buckets
• Water bottles
• Rulers
• Pack Packs

The TV-Or Why My Kid Doesn't Sleep

After having my child for two almost three years now I've finally noticed a correlation between her sleeping habits and the TV. Contrary to what I would believe there does not seem to be any correlation between the total amount of TV she watches and her ability to fall asleep. The correlation happens between when she watches and when I want to put her down. I already had a sort of amount of TV limitation (nothing concrete), but recently I have enacted a time of day limit on TV and it has done wonders in our household.

1. No TV until after you are up and ready for the day (clothing on, hair done, teeth brushed, bed made)
2. No TV between lunch and nap time (Usually about an hour of time there)
3. No TV after dinner (About an hour and a half before bed)

It is amazing the difference in her ability to go down. With this and some other slight changes in her bedtime routine I have discovered peace in our home at bed time. So why did it take me so long to figure this out? Why the difference in bed time? Does the TV way over stimulate her for when she needs to sleep? I have no idea. All I know is that I'm so very happy with the result.

How To Cross The Street

There are a few perks to Charlotte being in Joy School. One of my favorites is hearing what she's learning come up at home. ("You mean milk comes from cows?") One day she went on a field trip to the park. While there, the mom that was teaching talked about crosswalks and what they're used for and how to be safe around the road. A few nights later Daniel took her to his school with him to pick up a book from a friend. When they came back he told me that they encountered a crosswalk on their way from the car to the library and this is what Charlotte told her father:

Charlotte: "Are we crossing a road in a crosswalk?"
Daniel: "Yes."
Charlotte: "And do I need to hold mommy and or daddy's hand?"

I stinking love my little sponge!

Definitions

A few nights ago Charlotte was getting out of the bath. Mixed in with her constant verbal commentary on everything in her life she said,

"Greggie is Mommy's little guy and Daddy's son."

I thought that was really cute.

Solidarity

I had to run to the grocery store today, which I hate. Mostly its just annoying because I wasn't planning on going to the grocery store until tomorrow, but we ran out of milk. Our house without milk is probably the worst thing that could happen. Right up there with flood, fire, and not enough sleep. So I took my kids to the grocery store in the middle of the afternoon without a shopping list against my better judgement. Charlotte hadn't had a nap so I knew things weren't going to go well. Things went just about as well as I had predicted so when we got to the check out I told her that no I wasn't going to get her any treat. This leads me to ask why to grocers want to torture mothers? Candy? Where I can't have any distraction? This forces me to make the decision every time whether I'm going to fight that fight. Also? Why on earth would they put out the car shopping carts? Because if they don't happen to have a car cart handy then my daughter throws a fit. And if they do have a car cart handy she spends the entire time hopping in and out of the thing. I think they should have a wide load sign on them too since they can't turn right when you want them. So you end up running into things when you don't mean to.

Anyway, I had told her that she couldn't have a treat and that was pretty much the last straw for a no-nap little girl. She hit me. Which is never OK so I picked her up and held her until the checker was finished with all my items. Why are checkers always slower when your kid is acting up? Are they trained to go slower with the idea that you will finally give in and buy that stinking candy? Raising sales? It didn't work with me. I was holding her and she was screaming and I could feel my face getting redder and redder and then I look back at the couple behind me. They are both smiling. I'm pretty much just trying to escape Schnuck's with my food to get this screaming, scrambling, snot flinging mess back to our house and they're smiling. Then the couple behind me made my day. They said, "We know that face. We have twin two year olds at home." In case you missed that: Twin. Two Year Olds. Sometimes it's great to just know someone else understands.

Just Say Thank You

There are many lessons I clearly remember my mom and grandma making a point to teach me. Make your bed when you get out of it. Wash your hands. Look both ways. Read books. Lots of books. Always keep learning. Hot water takes out chocolate, cold water to take out blood. Little things that I learned to lean on. One of those lessons I have found particularly important in my life. That is the lesson of how to graciously accept a compliment. Not many people do that and sometimes it can be hard.

For instance when I was growing up and would play my violin at a recital. People would come up to me later, no matter how well or poorly I did, and compliment me on my performance. Some of the time I would be thinking, were they actually listening to what I was playing? That doesn't matter though. What matters is that person enjoyed your performance and is letting you know that. The appropriate response is always thank you. Nothing more, nothing less.

In life I can be presented at times with situations where it is hard to accept other's compliments of myself without bravado or dismissiveness. The lesson that I was taught is that in complimenting me a person is graciously giving me a gift. One that they most certainly did not have to give. My responsibility in that situation is to accept that gift with the same grace and sincerity in which they gave it. I'd like to think that this lesson has been thoroughly learned.

Even though I feel I have mostly learned this lesson, there is a situation that I'm acutely aware of my lack of ability to accept the compliment. That is when people compliment me on the kind of mother I am. (Which my sister does quite often.) I wonder why I can't just smile and say thank you when someone gives me such a wonderful gift.

There are a few reasons why I think I have trouble with this. The first being that my job as a mother isn't done. How can I possibly know how well I've done on a job that's not finished? My children are so young. There's so much of their lives ahead of them. I have so much to teach them and so many, many pitfalls to avoid. The last notes of the sonata aren't ringing in the air yet.

Another reason is that nobody sees the mistakes I'm making quite as acutely as I do. Nobody sees when I lose my temper. Nobody sees when I'm lazy and let my kids do things that I told myself I'd never let them do. Nobody sees how amazingly my children bounce back from a mistake that I led them into. The sharp and flat notes I make as I play the song seem to be more amplified in my ears.

Regardless of those reasons though I should take the compliment as it is given. With love. Just like the songs I would play on the violin. When someone comes up to me afterward and says how much they enjoyed it, even if I think they're only saying that to make me feel better, my response should be to smile and say thank you. And you know what? It does make me feel better. There are too many times when I hear negative thoughts and actions about motherhood. Why not gladly receive any positive that may come along?

So to all you moms and grandmas out there that are trying your best to be good role models, WAY TO GO. I think you're great. I think your kids are beautiful, smart, loving, and gifted. You are amazing. Keep up the good work.




PS. In no way am I trying to fish for compliments. I've just been thinking about this lately and wanted to see if anyone else had similar thoughts on the subject.

Or Maybe Not

Last night was the worst night sleep I've had since I had Greg. Then this morning I accidentally tore the front bumper off the car. Great. Just. Great.

The Tide Has Turned

Sorry for the lack of posts recently, but I've been having a sort of string of bad days lately. Charlotte and I are butting heads it seems like at every turn and it's starting to wear me down. Also? She has found a noise that she makes constantly. A noise that I'm sure she has practiced specifically to drive me up the wall. Because kids do that right? Actually when it started I recognized it as the girl version of the the angry sound one of her cousins made. The only difference is that when her cousin made it I thought absolutely nothing of it. Now every time I hear that sound I want to hurt something. On top of that we're trying to get Greg to sleep constantly through the night. It hasn't been that bad actually. Compared to his sister it's been a dream. But he does wake up, make noises for about 10 minutes and then go back to sleep about two times a night. Dan thinks he's sleeping through the night, but that's just because Greg's sounds aren't waking him up at all. At least half of us are getting a good night's sleep. And last but not least we're fighting the nap time fight. Charlotte's almost three and I don't know how much longer these days are going to last, but that quiet time in the afternoon is priceless for me. I either get to nap myself, be productive around the house (if hallelujah my kids are napping at the same time), or spend the time making Greg smile and laugh. I treasure that time and I don't really care if she's sleeping, so long as she's quiet, in her bedroom, and doesn't come out for an hour and a half.

Anyway, my string of bad days culminated on Monday when I had to deal with poop on the outside of the toilet, no nap toddler, and stepped in cat puke on my rug. Then I got a call from the husband of one of my friends and my outlook shifted. She's 15 weeks pregnant and hadn't kept anything in her stomach for a day and a half. NOTHING. They were worried about taking her to the hospital because you have to be 16 weeks pregnant to go to the women's triage unit so she'd have to go to the regular emergency room crawling with the flu. The flu that kills pregnant women. So anyway, he was asking if I'd watch their little girl Tuesday. I, of course, said yes and thanked my stars I wasn't puking my guts out.

Tuesday morning came around and I wasn't worried. I got us up and started the laundry and changed the sheets on the beds and cleaned the kitchen (I always get a shot of productivity right after breakfast. Does that happen to you?). Then we went over and picked up my friend's little girl. The worry about the day hit as I had the three car seats strapped into the back of my car and was heading home. I had three kids for the WHOLE DAY. I could just see my daughter getting fed up with the situation and trying to punch her friend in the face. I could just see the little girl wanting to go home at lunch time so she could take her nap in her own bed and then proceeding to cry until she was picked up. I could just see Greg being woken up from his naps and then wanting to be held the rest of the time. I could see the house turning into a disaster zone. My husband comes home to a crazy wife and two angry children and no dinner. Not so different from the previous days, but that's life sometimes.

With all that set up, yesterday went fine. Actually it went amazing. Charlotte played with her little friend really well. And I got all three children to sleep at the same time. That's about as common as a solar eclipse, but it happened, oh did it happen!

So I thought I'd pass this little idea along to those of you struggling with nap time. I put a CD player up on the landing outside the kids room and told them they didn't have to go to sleep, but they did have to stay in bed until the pretty music stopped. Then I played the CD, when it got to the end I just went up and started it over until they had slept a hour and a half. They all fell asleep and slept for 3 hours. It probably wont work for too long, but I did it again for Charlotte today and she went right down.

Giggles

A few nights ago I had to get the dishes done. I put Greg in his highchair and he was fussy, but I just ignored him. His fussiness was coming to a crescendo when it turned into belly laughs. I turned around and my heart melted. I ran and got the video camera to show everyone what happened. Also, did you see the new highchair cover?

Learning Something New

Last Friday Daniel took the Internal Medicine Shelf Exam. During third year he studies different areas of medicine in rotations. After each rotation he has to take an exam to make sure he learned what he needed to know during that segment. These exams are administered by the same people who tested him on his step one test towards being a board certified doctor. So each test though not as big a deal as step one was, are still pretty important. But you want to know the best thing? The weekend after he takes a shelf exam he has totally off of everything. We decided to go camping at Giant City State Park.

And I'm sure you're wondering what new thing I learned. You may laugh at me for not knowing this one already, but I didn't. I learned that glow worms are real living insects. I thought they were just some weird made up toy that kids love to play with. They're real alright and they are awesome. I never actually got to see what they looked like up close, but collectively they looked like the stars in the sky, only they were on the ground. Kind of surreal to be walking along surrounded by points of light above and below.

Charlotte was excited out of her mind to be camping and her little body just vibrated with joy for about two hours after we got our tent up. She even ate a lot of her tin foil dinner. I think that must have been because it was so different. We had a great night and the weather was great and our tent was on a great smooth incline that was wonderful for sleeping. Greg had to wear socks on his hands, but other than that everyone was warm enough.

The next morning we woke up and ate scrambled eggs, and cheesy potatoes that Daniel had prepared for us with a good helping of hot chocolate with marshmallows. Then we hiked down to the small lake in the park.

After getting back we had lunch and Daddy and Greg napped while Mommy and Charlotte explored with some friends. Then we broke camp. Before leaving though we had to see the namesake of the state park. Daniel, Charlotte, Greg and I did a one mile hike through some sandstone formations that were beautiful. I had never seen sandstone so green with moss and other things growing on it. The hike was beautiful.

Poll the Audience

I was talking with some friends the other day about getting things done around the house and time management. The thought came to me that my mom is amazing at this skill. I'm not trying to brag here, I'm just stating an observation. My mom had two small children and a teen age boy living at home and a full time job and our house was always picked up and clean and not only that I know I didn't spend my time at home watching hours and hours of TV. She had both my sister and I in private music lessons when we were five, which basically means she had to spend at least an hour a day helping us practice. So the question is how did she do it? I have two small children, but no outside job and no teen age boy. I feel as though the clutter in my home is slightly out of my control about 70% of the time, my house is a disaster about 40% of the time and would embarrass me if people just dropped by about 20% of the time.

I have learned not to compare myself to other moms around me because you never see behind closed doors. I don't see what they looked like, or how their house was, or the way their children were behaving or if that mom was having a rough day an hour before I show up. The thing is though, I have seen behind my mom's closed doors. I did see how we lived and the level of order that was pretty much maintained in our house.

Perhaps this is an issue of perception? I'd like to think I just didn't notice things because I was little, but I really don't think so. Perhaps the issue is that by the time I can remember how our house was my mom had a good 7 years of practice under her belt (my sister is about 3 years older than I am). Maybe that's just wishful thinking though.

So the question in the air is this: Is your home as ordered as you want it? Is your level of order the level that you had when you were growing up? How do you achieve your comfort level? Any tricks? (My mom just says to stay on top of it, but how do you do that when breakfast is over and you have a baby crying at you and a toddler wanting attention and you need to get the dishes done?) Any pitfalls? (I know a big one for me is wanting to SLEEP and if I can't do that then I just lay down and lose all productivity.) Do you do an extra cleaning when "grandma" is coming?

Wherein I'm right

Dan got about 3 hours of sleep last night. He seemed really tired when he got home, but helped out with the kids and even played blocks with Charlotte after dinner. After she was in bed, a little before 8, we layed down on the sofa to watch a little TV. Here's the ensuing conversation:

Me: "You're about to fall asleep. You should go to bed."
Dan: "I don't think I could fall asleep right now."
Me: "You slept for three hours last night, I'm pretty sure you could fall asleep."
Dan: "I'll just stay down here a little longer."

Guess who fell asleep on the sofa about ten minutes after 8.

Like An Elephant

Speaking of recieving presents (which, by the way, my daughter is NOT getting an ipod) I just want to let everyone know that my daughter has a crazy and odd ability to remember who gave her everything she owns. Today in the car for example:

Charlotte: "Oh no! I forgot my dog!"
Me: "You don't need your dog. Here, you can have this teddy bear, or this bunny, or this baby doll, or this other bear."
Charlotte (from under her mountain of stuffed items we just happened to have hanging out in the car): "OK. I like this bunny. It's a soft bunny. Do you want to go to school bunny? Do you remember who got me this bunny?"
Me: "Not really."
Charlotte: "Anut Marci got me this bunny. And also my singing kitty card. Where's my singing kitty card?"
Me: "We lost it." (Really I threw it away after the 100 billionth time of listening to the Happy Birthday song being meowed to me. Sorry Aunt Marci.)
Charlotte: "OK. I really like this bunny though."

I had totally forgotten about that bunny, but she hadn't. She often reminds me of whomever gave her this shirt or book or toy or shoe. It amazes me that she remembers this so very well. Do you remember who got you all the things you have right now? Also, do you think it's normal that a two year old remembers who gave her every single item she owns?

Christmas List and BIG NEWS

Last weekend Charlotte was taking a shower. She was dancing in and out of the water spray having a grand time when suddenly she gets very quiet, turns around and sits down in the tub with a very sad look on her face. I ask her what's wrong.
She says, "I just want my own ipod."
Me (thinking Dan and I don't even have ipods you have no idea what you're talking about), "And what would you do with an ipod?"
She answers, "I would play Tinkerbell anytime I wanted to."

At that moment it dawns on my that when my mother was in town she downloaded the Tinkerbell movie onto her ipod and let Charlotte watch it whenever she wanted. I always knew that my children's Christmas wish lists would get more expensive as they got older. Basically because I could get them almost anything now and they'd be thrilled. I didn't realize how quickly things would change.

Also I'd like to share some BIG NEWS!! (Yes, I did just use all caps and two exclamation points. It's that big.) Greg slept through the night last night! I fed him at 10 PM and then again at 6:30 AM. I was so happy about it I even told the check out lady at Schnuck's. She was appropriately excited for me. Today is the first day of the rest of Greg's life (and he doesn't even know it yet).

Summer's Harvest

Our vegetable garden didn't get much of a harvest this year. The cards were really stacked against it so I don't feel too bad. Mostly I just wanted Charlotte to enjoy the planting seeds and watching them grow experience. Above is a photo of some carrots I got out, baby pumpkins we planted, and peas growing. We harvested precisely zero peas to eat from our garden this year because we were gone for family vacation right during harvest time. We ended up with maybe half a cup of seed peas. I figure the growing season is long enough here that I can hopefully get a fall crop in. Charlotte and I planted the peas in the egg carton a while back and they're almost ready to move out into the garden. You can completely tell which spots I put peas in and which ones Charlotte was in charge of. Some of the holes have a single plant growing out of them and others have about seven. She's loving it.

As for our other crops, the bell pepper plant was completely thrashed when some burglars came in our backyard and stole our lawn mower. Dan was so mad I was getting nervous. He just fumed around the house muttering "stupid" and "idiot" and "crap." Needless to say the rest of us gave him a wide berth. What I was mad about was that our bell pepper plant, the only one that grew from the huge amounts of seeds we planted, our miracle plant, was finally showing some promise of a harvest. Then they took the mower right over the top of it! Not only were we burgled (which I prefer over robbed, it sounds so much better right?) but we were also vandalized!

The asparagus is too young to have a harvest. They are really cute little guys though. Dan wants to give up on them and pull them up, but I say give them a little time. It's just hard to dig up the stinking trumpet vine volunteers around them. Tip for the future: NEVER PLANT TRUMPET VINE!

The baby pumpkins had a decent harvest, but what do you do with baby pumpkins other than paint them for Halloween? Charlotte wanted to plant them so we let her, but we wont be repeating that next year.

The carrots are our star crop this year. They are short and fat, but so satisfying to pull up and clean off and cook and serve to my family. I have noticed that we're all eating more carrots lately. Perhaps that's because we know if we don't eat them now, we'll just have to eat them later. While making soup for dinner tonight Charlotte actually casually picked up one of the carrots I had peeled and ate it. The whole thing. All by herself. It was awesome.

Feeding Him

Speaking of my second born. Given the go ahead to start rice cereal, last night we gave it a go and here's the what ensued.

Hmm, something new and different. I think I'll try it.I don't think I like that.Don't feed me any more!

It was pretty funny. I'm pretty sure he got exactly 1/8th a teaspoon down his throat.

Remember how Charlotte sucked down everything she possibly could when we first gave her solids?

This second one is SO different!

*Note: In case you noticed that the high chair had a cover for Charlotte and not for Greg the old one was stored improperly in the basement and got grass clippings and mold on it so now we have to buy a replacement.

Yesterday was Greg's 4 month check up. Can you believe that I've had two kids for 4 months now? Me neither. Or really with the lack of sleep what I can't believe is that we're all still alive and healthy. So back to the appointment. We found out that our little boy is:

• 26 inches long (75%)
• 17 inch head circumference
• 18 pounds (95%)

Yes, I have a huge child. No wonder I feel like I'm feeding him all the time! The doctor asked if he's rolling over yet and when I told her that he is she seemed a little surprised. She said, "Usually when they're big like that they have a harder time moving around." Which I thought was hilarious. He seems comfortably in the middle as far as developmental milestones which makes for a happy family.

Then the doctor listened to his heart. Then she had him sit up and listened to his heart. Then stand. Then lay on his side. Apparently he has a little heart murmur and she gave me the number of a pediatric cardiologist for him to see. She said it wasn't a big deal, but they would want to monitor it and make sure it didn't need any help.

Remember when my first child had torticollis? And remember how that threw me into a tailspin? Remember how torticollis is simply a muscle issue that you have to work out and yet I was totally freaking out? Yeah, that freak out never came this time. My baby could have something wrong with his heart, but since the doctor didn't seem too concerned neither was I. Wow things have changed the second time around.

The Right Side of the Bed

Last night I couldn't fall asleep. I tried and I tried until at last I fell asleep sometime between 11:30 and midnight. Not that late you might say. But wait. At about 1:30, Charlotte came into our room because her pillow had fallen off her bed and she couldn't find it LAYING RIGHT NEXT TO THE BED. Then at 2:30 Greg decided he was hungry and needed to eat. Then again at 4:30 Greg thought eating was necessary. I decided that it couldn't possibly be necessary because I just fed him two hours ago. So we popped up to put the stinking pacifier back in his mouth for the proceeding 45 minutes until Dan was awake and I was awake and he was going to have to be getting ready for the day any minute now. If Greg happens to be awake while Dan is up in the morning forget it for him going back to sleep. So I feed him again at 5:15. Then, just before Dan is about to leave at 6:20 little feet patter into my room. I tell Charlotte it isn't time to wake up yet and take her back to bed. This usually works, except for this morning her brother decided that it was also time to be awake.

There I am, face up in bed staring at the ceiling thinking how frustrating it is that all I want is sleep. What I want to do is hit someone, but I'm not really big on acting out those impulses. Instead I growled. And I growled loud. I was hoping that Dan would hear it from downstairs. He heard it all right. But you know who else heard it? The little two year old sleepily tip toeing into my room. It scared the daylights out of her. And the mother of the year award goes to the growler.

When Dan comes up to kiss me goodbye he's met with the three of us laying in my bed in tears.

Having Joy

We're doing Joy School with Charlotte. After one day I can confidently tell you all that I love it and it does bring me joy. There's only four kids in our group, they're all girls, and they're all right around Charlotte's age. She knows them all and all the moms from church and she's been to all their houses before. So there's nothing scary about it at all for her. It's really great to have her learning from other people. I knew we'd made the right decision when I picked her up from day one and she had a big smile on her face. Here's her first day of "school" photo.