Greg's Talking

I don't think I've mentioned lately how much I love just listening to my son talk. He's at that amazing phase where he can say pretty much anything he wants to, but sometimes it comes out wrong. He thinks about it and then corrects himself. Also his syntax is so funny. Their funny mistakes when learning to talk makes up for just about everything else that comes with a two year old.

A few nights ago Greg wanted some of whatever sauce Dad put on his rice. Dad tried to tell him he wouldn't want it to which he said, "But yeah Dad!"

This morning after eating his off brand otter pop I told him to throw the wrapper away. I didn't understand when he said, "sych-a-bin?" until he walked over to the sink and opened the door to the recycling bin. My two year old knows about recycling! I had no idea.

True Love

My husband is amazing. He overwhelms me with his sure knowledge of what it means to be an honorable man, husband and father. He seems to have an unending amount of energy, love and stamina and I feel wrapped in his love everyday.

Not only does he have a very stressful and demanding job, but he manages to get home and pick up the slack that I seem to be leaving around all over the place. Last week he worked the 6am to 8pm shift. That meant he wouldn't be able to see the kids awake at all for the whole week. You know what he did? He got up extra early and went in before his shift started, worked as hard and as fast as he could, even right through his dinner just so that he could be home to help put the kids to bed. I can tell you it made all the difference in our week.

This week he's working 7pm until 9am. When he got home this morning I was really hoping to just have things together so he could go right to bed. What happened was he walked in the door and was met by his son screaming at the kitchen table, his daughter angrily shutting herself in the bedroom and his wife crying on the chair in his son's room. Within 5 minutes he had everyone soothed, pulled together and ready to face the day.

We may not have the time or money to really get to "romantic" activities and things in our life right now. I keep learning that it doesn't matter what is defined as romantic, what really matters is that I love him. He loves me. And we know it. Every day.

Soccer Camp

If I were prepared I would have brought a camera like the other moms. As it is I was proud of getting there on time. Charlotte's in a little, very informal, (someone else's) mommy run soccer camp at the moment. It's fun to see her get tired, but still want to not let the other team make a goal. She's working at it and that's fun to watch. Greg, being 2, is too young to technically participate in the camp, but still manages to make his way into the training exercises his sister is doing. I did manage to make him stay off the field the last little bit of the day when they had a game.

Charlotte's team name for today:

The Sparkle Go Girls!

What Do You See

We told the kids about baby #3. It felt too soon, but Charlotte was getting worried about how sick I am. Now whenever I tell her that I feel sick she says, "No Mommy, you're just pregnant." Very cute.

This time around things feel so different from the others. The sickness seems to be more acute, but what has bowled me over is the emotional toll of the pregnancy. Let me attempt to explain. Maybe it's because I'm hormonal and thus can't really control my emotions. Maybe not.

Not only am I sick, I'm exhausted. And I can't seem to plan anything. All this means is that I feel like I'm missing all my definitions of what it means to be a good mom. I know that my kids are resilient, and so I try not to worry too much, but I feel so guilty. Pretty much all the time. I see discipline problems, I see boredom, and I also see amazing creativity. All of which I want to be proactive about, but can't seem to rouse myself enough.

With all of these experiences though I seem to be learning a few simple and precious truths. The first of which is how much I love my kids. They are so amazing. I love my kids with a fierceness that motivates me to fight to get up in the morning and be with them. My love for them seems to be greater than I would have ever known if I hadn't had to work against this resistance.

Also I know that what I'm doing right now, bringing this baby into our family is exactly what Heavenly Father wants for our family. I know that Dan and I want a baby, but if it weren't for how hard this one has been I don't think I would have had to have such faith in this choice. I know with the very core of who I am that this baby will forever be a blessing to everyone in our family. I, obviously, don't know how things are going to turn out, but I do know that our choice has been a good one.

With this choice I know that I will get help from Heavenly Father. I know that as I strive to work toward this goal, whether I meet it or not, my efforts will be added on. I know that Dan will be blessed in his work and at home in his capacities as well.

We are doing what we need to do right now and that feels really good.

Even if everything else doesn't.

The Big News

So I'm pregnant.

Six weeks, which is probably too soon to tell people. I always do that too soon. And I also never tell in some sort of fun and special way. I love to hear how other people do this, but I guess I don't put a high enough priority on that.

Speaking of priorities this pregnancy has really focused my priorities because that's all I can do right now. Necessities.

I took the kids to a little beach, was it only last week?, and brought a picnic. Forgetting that my daughter takes one bite of food and then has to pee 100% of the time, I just started in on the food. Mostly because I was shaking and going to throw up. She took her first bite and then said, "I have to pee." I looked up the hill to the public restrooms, down at the blanket full of beach stuff and food, at my son eating his lunch, and then back at Charlotte. Then I told her to run to the water, find a place by herself, sit down in the water, and pee there. Because not peeing in the lake (where fish are peeing anyway) is not a necessity.

Also, my kids look absolutely ridiculous everywhere we go lately. Fighting over what to wear? Not necessity. Fighting over doing your hair? Not necessity. At least they're not naked.

So sorry to all if I let things slip. I'm focused on making it through the day, loving the two kids I have, and helping a third come into our family. Turns out that is taking everything I have.

Puppies and Babies

We're training Percie.

It takes a lot of work.

It feels like having a newborn all over again. Only this time my newborn isn't small and cuddly and really, really good smelling.

This time my newborn pounces, and nips, and smells really really bad.

So maybe it's like having an 18 month old boy who is naughty.

The difference is that with an 18 month old boy, I've already had the whole newborn, and baby phase to build up all my love.

But she is so very good and smart. Hopefully things will start to stick soon.

Goals for the week: Attention when called, standing on a loose leash, sitting, keep working on not jumping on the counters (we are going through way too many Clorox wipes)

PS. My cat is sick and keeps sneezing. I'm totally mean because this makes me laugh.

Four turning 94

My daughter has said a few funny things lately and I don't want to forget them.

At dinner two nights ago I was really tired and not really looking forward to bed time. I told Dan so. Then Charlotte's little voice perked up and said, "It's like I always say, Life is hard sometimes."

Today at the park Charlotte and Greg were playing really well together. In fact they were playing so well we stayed there for three hours. I was keeping an eye on them and watching Greg follow Charlotte around each of the areas. Then I noticed that Greg was not with Charlotte so I asked her if she knew where he was. She said, "Oh! I dropped him off at the little kid play area." Just like she's 16 or something.

A Great Saturday

We made new zoo friends with the otters.

We got a lifetime first riding in a model A at the Olmstead County History Center.

Anyone got $1000 just lying around?

A few nights ago Dan asked everyone at dinner if they could buy something right now what would it be. Charlotte, of course, said the cowgirl toy set. His answer? A new TV. That was it. Just one item. Immediately a list popped into my head and during the next few days that list got longer and more organized. Then I realized I needed to stop thinking about this. I've got lots of things already and my life is so very blessed.

Then today my sister wrote a post about being bummed about turning 30. Wouldn't it be nice if I could surprise her for her birthday? Yeah, $1000 just isn't in the budget for something like this.

I Like My Kids

My kids are a bit overwhelming right now. Greg says "No" automatically to everything. He is two after all. Charlotte seems to be experimenting with being mad at her parents. I keep thinking that we should be settled and established right now, but, of course, that's crazy. I don't feel like I'm settled. I'm sure my kids don't feel settled right now either. All this has made for a few days where my kids say, "I'm bored" and I say, "So am I!" Having all of us bored makes for more negative interactions all around. Then Dan comes home exhausted and we all turn to him wanting him to entertain us, which isn't fair.

With all of this going on I feel like I've had a lot of complaining about my kids in my heart, on my mind, and slipping out my mouth.

Tonight at dinner I asked everyone what their favorite part of the day was. Dan said coming home. I said painting with Charlotte and Charlotte said cuddling with me while we watched a movie.

Here's what I realized today. Not only do I love my kids, I like them. I think they're fun. I want them to know that I want to spend time with them. I never want them to think that I don't want them around. There will be a time when they no longer want to spend time with me, I don't want that to come sooner because they think I don't want to spend time with them.

I will try to remember that vocalizing things make them much more frustrating to me. And also that little ears hear more than I think and they understand sooner than I think.

Entrepreneurial Art

When Grandpa Greg was here Charlotte fell in love with a cowgirl hat, riding stick pony, and cowgirl toy set. She's been saving her money in her princess bank for a while now. She has also been doing all she can, when she thinks of it, to earn some money around the house. Daddy even helped her count her money once to see how much she has. She almost has enough for the cowgirl toy set, but earning money has been slow going since she's not been around Grandpas.

Last week I gave Charlotte some cardboard, paints and her paint brush. For days we heard about how she was having to work so hard to get her paintings ready for "the show." (How did she come up with this idea?) If we wanted to buy them ahead of time they cost "sixty seventy dollars" but if we waited to buy them at her show they would be $1. So we decided to wait for the deal. She amassed a hefty pile of cardboard masterpieces ("portraits and landscapes" are her specialty) and they were waiting patiently on the counter for the show.

Trying to come back to a normal wake-sleep schedule after working nights for a week was a bit rough for Dan. Saturday at dinner it hit hard and he just seemed so tired and past being able to deal with family life. I said, "Daddy looks sad. We should do something special to cheer him up." Charlotte's eyes lit up and sparkled as she came and whispered in my ear, "We should make him a card." Not wanting to actually help Charlotte with card making I said, "You should give Daddy one of your masterpieces." She got even more excited by that idea and ran to get one.

After sifting through them to find just the right one for him she walked over to him, tapped him on the shoulder to get him to lift his head off the table and said to him, "Here this is for you." We waited a moment to admire the painting and how selfless and cute this little four year old was. After Daddy said how much he liked it she said, "And if you want to keep it it only costs $1."

The good laugh that we got out of that surely was worth $1 and Daddy said he's going to hang it up in his locker at work. Who could argue with that sort of salesmanship!

I think she might just have enough now for the cowgirl toy set.

Serious Stuff To Laugh About

Oh boy, night shifts are hard on the family! Or maybe it has just been a hard week, I'm not sure. Here are some of the thoughts I have had this week that hopefully I can laugh about now.

First, and not surprisingly Charlotte got sick after the fourth of July (which was amazing and lovely). Tuesday night I got about four hours of totally interrupted sleep. I was actually pretty scared by the severity of the puking this time, but all is well now. At around 4 AM I was holding Charlotte in our green chair so she could sleep upright. I was thinking about how I could never be a breaking and entering type of burglar because you never know what's on the other side of the door. Like in our house that night, some unsuspecting thief could walk in and then have Charlotte puke all over him. No, I did not think about how those people would probably be worried more about guns or knives. It was the possibility of being puked on.

Secondly, there have also been a lot of runny noses in our house. I'm thinking allergies, but since I've never taken them to be tested for that type of thing I don't know. Yesterday I was busy washing anything that may have touched the sick one. I walked by the sofa, where the sick one was told to not move from, and saw that one of the sofa pillows looked funny. I picked it up and there was green boogers all over the thing. Not wanting to jump to conclusions I asked who had done this. Then the sweet little chocolate eyes looked up to me and said, "I did it mama. My nose needed to be wiped." As if that's a totally normal thing to do when you're nose is running. I thought perhaps when I ask that I need to have a more menacing tone. Perhaps that would strike fear into her.

Lastly, Greg broke my kitchenaid mixer this morning. Honest first reaction: let the beating commence. Unfortunately I don't actually believe in beating my kids, which I guess is a good thing since I would have missed out on dress up time today. He decided to wear a cape, mardi gras beads, a tie, a diaper, princess heels and carry a purse.

Jumping Into The Deep End

Today is Dan's first day of actually working. His first rotation is General Surgery for three months. This week he is working nights (6pm-6am) in trauma. His very first weekend as a resident and he's working trauma during the 4th of July!

I'm confident in his abilities as a doctor, but he doesn't really have any experience with the computer systems, this new hospital and all the staff in it. Yikes! I hope he does well.

Trying To Find Audio

I want to play this piece of sheet music I bought. It's Beautiful Savior/ Lead Kindly Light arranged by Kay H Ward. I got it because it looked like a challenge. It is. I think I need to hear it in order to make sense of it, but I can't seem to find a recording of it anywhere. Any advice?

The both Picked Their Own Outfit

Shortly after this photo was taken Greg tripped on his boots and skinned his knee. He then refused to wear the boots.

Charlotte wore this outfit to go running. I kept trying to convince her that a dress wasn't really running clothing, but she insisted that she was wearing the right shoes so she'd be fine. And she was.

On Having Second Thoughts

The wonderful honeymoon phase in Rochester is over. Dan has been home, but studying all week, which means he really hasn't been able to be around much. Then today he really was gone. And also it's been cold and rainy. It's the end of June and we're wearing long pants and jackets. Also it's been overcast and rainy for a while. Somehow the rainy weather has sort of rained on my emotional parade.

Today I took the kids to the indoor play area at the local mall and found half of Rochester there as well. As I was sitting there waiting for a friend to show up I started to think about our plans for the coming year.

Specifically about Charlotte and preschool. We decided that we can't afford preschool. On the one had this is probably going to be the tightest year financially we've had so far. She's also pretty smart and socially capable. On the other hand winter is long here. We don't have too many friends and not huge prospects at making too many more. (Or is that just the newness talking?) And also? Having nothing planned for the fall scares me since I've been doing the co-op preschool with Charlotte for two years.

I sat there watching my kids running around being free to be kids and do whatever they wanted there. They were so happy to be out and about. And it almost made me cry. What am I doing here without a Magic House or Science Center or Zoo? What did we get ourselves into? When I ask people what sort of things there are to do here I get this list of outdoor activities and then a list of three indoor activities. Maybe that's why it seems like all the kids Charlotte's age are in preschool. That's what there is for them to do here.

There are no guarantees in parenting and right now I wish there were. I wish I knew someone that seems to fit my style of parenting that chose to keep their kid home from preschool and was super happy about that decision. I wish I were certain that I could come up with the mental, emotional, and physical reserves needed to help my kids to be their best. I wish I knew what the next year holds for me, my sanity, my kids and their sanity.

Cutest 50 meter Race Ever

He was so serious about running until he realized that he was alone. The Rochester track club set up this event for kids. It was awesome.

I loved her hair bouncing behind her.

They both got participation ribbons.

Writing a Better List

This morning I decided to make a list so that the chores I had to do today would get done and I would feel a sense of accomplishment. It is now 2 pm and I've been working up a sweat most of the day and all I've got done from my list are changing linens, a few loads of laundry, breakfast, lunch, and some dishes. Gah! I should have added:

• getting kids dressed
• playing with kids
• reading scripture stories
• ready every book out of the storytime book bin from the library
• setting up all three play tents and tunnels in the basement
• making lunch a picnic on a blanket in the living room
• playing memory
• rescuing Greg from Percie
• helping paint rocks with Charlotte

When I add those to the list I realize why I feel like I've been working so hard.

Something new

If I could only find the cord to attach the camera to the computer I would show you some awesome photos. Also if I could find one of the three battery chargers we own I could take more photos of the kids. I'm sure you are all waiting for them. Be patient. The dust will settle. At least that's what I'm going to assume. Let's just hope that when it settles I will have found where I put the dust cloth. Also, did you know that I am currently in possession of three, count them three, vacuum cleaners, none of which have full function! I would love a new vacuum.

In the mean time we have managed to have a few new exciting buys for the new house. The first being a new lawn mower. Not really exciting, but Dan said that the Honda works great. I insisted on a self propelled mower since our yard isn't flat and once work starts it's any body's guess as to when he will have time to do it.

Also, we purchased a new kitchen table. Our original little guy was just perfect for our family, but with the years, and let's be honest the kids, all the finish was rubbing off the top. We were going to just refinish it. Then earlier this week we were window shopping a new furniture store in Rochester. They had a $700 table in the scratch and dent section for only $98. That is cheaper than just refinishing our old table. When we got home Dan looked online and found the exact same table on Amazon for $250 which made us feel pretty smug. He did end up purchasing four matching chairs online so they should come soon. This sort of behavior is so very out of character for Dan!

Once we got our new table Dan has been oddly protective of it. In order to not have his head explode every time Greg comes to the table we went to JoAnn's today and bought clear vinyl to put over the top. This way the top (which was in no way scratched or dented when we purchased the table) will remain nice.

Also we purchased some outdoor pots for plants. They were %70 off at JoAnn's and it was Dan's idea. I was again shocked that he bought them. They will make a nice arrangement on our front step and for herbs maybe on the back deck?

Ok, so maybe it feels like a spending spree, but once I wrote it down it doesn't seem like that much. Either way it's been a nice change of pace for the two of us.

Eating Right

After almost three solid weeks of eating out and eating treats and having pop around all.the.time we made our way to Rochester. We are coming down off the junk food high pretty well, but, well, let's just say that our digestive systems are still adjusting to the whole wheat, fruits and leafy green veggies.

I will forever chose sweet over salty. I mean salty is good sometimes, but for the most part I chose a sweet treat. I have found that once I've started into the pattern of having lots of sweets around I always want them around. That seems to be the only hiccup in the whole situation. I want sweets just about every night after the kids go to bed. Does that happen to anyone else? I hope so.

At any rate the sugar detox started last week and I have been surprised at how well it seems to be going. Of course the kids are asking for pop and sweets, but since we don't have it around the house it's easy to say no. And also we've kicked off the summer veggie eating.

Here are a few options that we've tried lately that have been surprisingly well received by my children:

-Muhamara dip with pita bread and carrot sticks for lunch. (Dan thought this didn't really constitute a lunch, but I noticed he didn't need any snacks between that meal and dinner.)

-BLT bread salad which is a baby spinach salad with crumbled bacon, tomatoes, feta, green onions and homemade croutons. It was simply delicious and the kids even ate the spinach!

-"Mock Gyros" which is really just pita sandwiches. Mindy gave me the recipe, or rather left it at my house so now it's mine!

-Indian-spiced salmon with basmati rice. I totally over-cooked the salmon, but everyone still ate at least some of it.

-An orecchiette salad with baby spinach tomatoes and roasted bell peppers. This one was not so enthusiastically received by the family, but I loved it. Dan gave his usual answer to vegetarian dishes, "This is good. You could add some salami to it."

-Cilantro lime black beans which is also a recipe that Mindy "gave" to me. These made excellent enchiladas.

With this success in getting my kids to eat things that look different than normal and have a higher percentage of veggies I've been very happy.