How To Make the Crying Stop

Bring in family. Lots of adults who are committed to making children feel like they are the world's coolest kids will bring out the best.

It might also bring out fatigue, illness and threaten death.

But then the adults take all the illness and fatigue home with them and leave two incredibly upbeat and pleasant kids.

I highly suggest you do this when you can't take it anymore. Especially when your husband works so hard and so long that the kids never see him and you barely do.

Is It Just Mine?

I love the two year old size of body. I know that sounds weird, but it's the honest truth. Their height when sitting on your lap perfectly matches the height between my lap and my chin. Their skinny little butt is perfect for sitting right on yours. The length of their little arms as the wrap them around my neck just fits. I love the cuddly baby size, but I think I might like the two year old size better. It's the absolute perfect size.

And it better be because I feel like I spend most of the day comforting my two-an-a-half-year-olds. My breakfast cereal doesn't have milk! Now it has too much! I'm too cold! I can't put on my coat! I wanted Thomas undies not Percie! This car wont fit through the hole I made for it! Maybe if he would actually say these things he wouldn't have to cry so much? He's actually crying right now and I have no idea why!

This morning I counted no less than eleven breakdowns in the hour and a half it took us to get out the door.

You know what I bet? I bet if he would give up these energy sucking crying fits, then he would also be able to completely give up naps, which as we all know are the enemy of all living things!

Way Too Much

There's a family story in Dan's family about when his niece Katelyn was little. After spending some time with her, young Dan commented that he could never be a mom because there was too much talking.

Yesterday the kids and I went to one of my routine prenatal check-ups. As we got out of the car Greg was talking about how windy and cold it was, which I had no sympathy for since he was the one who chose to not wear a coat. As we checked into the office Greg was commenting on the hanitizer, the cough shields, and the children's cough shields with cartoon characters on them. As we were sitting waiting in reception he was talking about the water fountain and the disposable cups. As the nurse was checking my weight and blood pressure he was talking about not needing a flu shot. As the doctor was checking the fetal heart tones and the fundal height he was talking about the stickers in his book. As we waited to get Charlotte's flu shot he again talked about the water fountain. (Charlotte ended up wasting about two pounds of tears since we found out she was a good candidate for the nasal spray and didn't even get a shot.) As we were checking out he was talking about McDonald's (which was my last ditch effort to get Charlotte to stop crying before we found out about the nasal spray).

At that point the lady from the check-in desk came over and jokingly asked, "Does he ever stop talking?"

No. No he doesn't.

It's a good thing that I was there instead of Daniel.

Being Grateful for Dan

Well, I almost died.

Or at least I thought I was going to, or worse, hurt the baby inside of me. I was stupid and it was stupid and that was one freakishly scary night.

As it turns out all those rules about what you are and aren't supposed to do while pregnant are for a good reason. But in my mind what does it mean when the doctor tells you to "not lift heavy objects" because my kids need lifting and some consider that heavy, but I don't. Thinking back though, probably moving the 10 year old TV upstairs by myself is considered heavy by everyone. Also moving the sofas and flipping one on top of the other go under the too heavy for the pregnant lady list. At the time though it didn't seem like too much.

Also, using my neighbor's Bissell to clean the carpets in the entire downstairs didn't seem like too much either. Obviously though it was. My body was screaming at just about every move I made by dinner time. Between dinner and the kids' bedtime all I did was lay on Charlotte's bed while they played around me. I was exhausted.

It was after bedtime though that I really thought I'd done permanent damage. You see, evidence that I had caught some sort of stomach virus started to appear around 7 PM and I spent the rest of the night sitting on the toilet, holding a bowl to puke in. My body didn't want me to move and also wanted every bit of whatever toxin was in there out. My body was in agony and there was literally no way to alleviate it. Add to it all the worry that this much dehydration was going to severely hurt my baby and you have one torturous night.

And here's where Dan steps in. I told him to go to bed since there was absolutely nothing he could do for me. Then I would sporadically wake him up just for reassurance that everything was going to be OK. He patiently woke up and told me that no, we still don't need to go to the ER, you are doing fine. This will pass.

Then when he woke up for the day I begged and pleaded with him to please not go into work. I couldn't see facing that day feeling as bad as I did without him. Well, he couldn't just not show up. So he went in, but not until after telling me to let things go with the kids that day. Let them watch TV (which he never says) and just relax. He left and then I cried. And then I cried because crying hurt.

In my haze I got out two bowls of honey KIX turned on the TV and crawled back into bed. I woke up again sometime around 10 and felt better (or so I thought) so I tried to text him that he could in fact stay at work. He decided to come home anyway.

And gave me the best gift of my life.

I had my first sick day in four years. I was, in fact, not all better yet. I still needed much in the way of hydration and rest. All of which he gave me. I let my body tell me when I needed to sleep and try to eat and followed his orders when it came to taking Tylenol and I managed to make it through the day. He brought home a variety of powerades along with a winter cactus because he loves me. He did Charlotte's hair and took her to preschool and played with Greg and did everything so I didn't need to worry about anything.

Did I mention he was supposed to start helping out with a new doctor's service yesterday? I have no idea what he told them to come home, but I'm sure it cost him at least a little just to leave like that. Hopefully he can make it up to them in the coming six weeks because he is my hero.

Two Hundred Forty Four

That is how much money Percie owes me to date for things she has completely destroyed.

Today it was Greg's dragon snow boots.

They are Bogs brand and he's been wearing them solid for the past two weeks.

Percie ate right through them. I don't mean chewed. I mean ate.

Apparently they were a hot ticket item this year, because there are none left on the Internet.

NONE.

So I ended up purchasing him spider web snow boots instead.

They should be here in 7-10 business days.

Hopefully he likes them as much as the dragon boots.

Also hopefully he will submit to wearing other footwear until the new ones come.

Thanksgiving Update

Funny how I had planned to post all about our Thanksgiving celebrations, and then I got busy/stressed and didn't post anything and even forgot to take photos of some of our celebrations. So here are a few of the highlights.

First, and this one might be a stretch, but the kids loved it. We spray painted Charlotte's bed. I've wanted it painted since we got it, but it was never really convenient. Now, with the carpet in her bedroom being torn up her bed had to be in the garage. I wanted to cover up the scratches in the paint and also take it from a high gloss finish to a matte finish. I've noticed that a lot of the metal day beds right now have a matte finish. I like it. Charlotte wanted it hot pink, but I convinced her that princess beds are white with pink blankets. Before painting, I talked to the kids about appreciating the things that we have and taking care of them. That way we will be able to use them for much longer. When we take care of our things it is part of showing gratitude for them.

They loved taking their turns painting the backside of the bed.

Also, Charlotte told me one day, was it last week? that it was her dog's birthday. Then Greg told me that it was also his dog's birthday. What a coincidence right? So we decided that the day was going to be a birthday party/celebration of our dogs and our love for them. It included cake, ice cream, and presents. Each kid bought the present for their dog with their own money and then wrapped it for their dog and then opened it on behalf of their dog.

Also, we had a fun night making Thanksgiving cookies. At first I thought they should be pumpkin, but since we just made pumpkin cookies a little while ago we just made regular sugar cookies and frosted them with Thanksgiving.


And here's a photo of my growing belly. I told Dan to not get me in the shot, but I guess he thought it looked better that way.

Also, lastly I wanted to share an activity that we did, but I didn't get photos for. It was my mother in law's idea and the kids were really impressed. They talked about it for days. First I talked to them about how we got Percie and Suzie from the Humane Society in St. Louis. Then I talked about what the Humane Society was and that they always needed to get help from people in order to help the animals. Helping them out is a great way to show our our gratitude for our pets. So then we went onto the Humane Society of Rochester web site and looked at what items they were asking for. We gathered all the things we had and then took them and donated them. They loved

Add It To The Bowl

I'm going to try to be more thankful for Percie. It's just so hard. Right when we think we've got whatever her "problem" is sleeping she switches it up on us and then we're up half the night again. I really truly do feel like we have a newborn or maybe 8 month old baby in the house (both of those ages are the worst for me as far as sleep is concerned).

I do admit though that in the morning, when she's sleeping on the floor at the foot of the bed I do enjoy her. It warms my heart to see my daughter cuddle up with her in her half sleep. They can lay there together and all is love, or at least it would be if I weren't so annoyed that she was sleeping now that the rest of us (me) need to be awake.

Because of this today's Thanksgiving activities were limited to filling the Thanksgiving bowl.

Tonight Charlotte was thankful for pre-school, and Greg was thankful for me. If that doesn't make me melt I don't know what would.

A Month of Thanks

Well, it's that time of year again. Where we try to celebrate gratitude and things we are thankful for here. I will try to document the month as we go along.

So here is Day 1 in photos:

This is our family tree as hand crafted by none other than Charlotte. If you can't tell those apples have each person's name on them, and a stem and leaf. Notice the last apple is blank. She actually made this tree a while back, but I thought I'd share it as part of day one since on day one I got my ultrasound.

Here is the profile of our little apple.

Here are the toes of our little apple. When the ultrasound lady found out that Dan is an ortho resident she made sure to get lots of bone photos.

Here is the evidence that our little apple is a boy. It's sideways bum on the left legs out to the right. The line along the bottom is the upper leg then there are the little boy bits above it then you can't see the other leg on top.

Last night I dug out our Thanksgiving bowl and tokens. The kids were much more into the idea this year. Charlotte was thankful for the moon and Percie and Suzie. Greg was thankful for balls and Doc Hudson.

Here is the start of Day 2 in photos:

After breakfast the kids and I went for a fall nature walk. After a few false starts due to them thinking they didn't need to put coats or hats on then getting cold, we made our way around our block. We looked at what was left of the leaves and collected "nature" for these collages. I made Charlotte copy "I'm thankful for FALL" on her sheet.

Greg though, was given free reign with the glue and nature items and jewels on his collage. Today we are thankful for fall.

Spooky

Because I know you all wanted to see the best rodents around I present to you Mickey and Minnie Mouse:Charlotte actually wore her costume all day long because she was so excited about trick-or-treating. Daddy got home in the late afternoon and helped to get them ready and then joy of joys he took them trick-or-treating. He said they loved it and that Greg stopped to admire all the decorations all evening. They were out for about an hour and a half and loved every minute of it. I loved it too. I got the kitchen cleaned and then got to sit in the quiet for a bit. Then they came home and rang our doorbell and thought it was hilarious that I thought they were trick-or-treaters.
I think the costumes turned out well. Since they were basically fleece pajama pants under everything they were super comfortable which was what convinced Greg to wear his. He did insist that he wear his dinosaur T-shirt under is Mickey costume, but I figured layers were probably a good idea. Luckily the weather was warm enough they didn't even need jackets. Their ears were warm thanks to the mouse ears too so the only thing that was reported to get cold were their hands. They toughed it out though. Anything for candy.

Below is a video of carving spooky Halloween pumpkins. We did this on Sunday which explains the nice clothing on the kids.

Well, I'm doing it

I posted my hair to sell online today.

You can look at the add here.

Hopefully it will sell soon.

The Sick One

I know exactly what to expect when Charlotte gets sick. Down to the timing of the first throw up and the last night I'll need to give her Benadryl to make it through the night. It is horrible to live through, but not surprising since she has been sick about 147,298 times since birth.

Greg has been sick exactly 0.

That is why when I heard the burpy-barfy sound during our breakfast prayer this morning I automatically looked toward my daughter. Nope, it wasn't her and while I was distracted Greg was busy emptying his stomach of all the water he had consumed before breakfast into his cereal bowl.

New and foreign territory. Here's hoping that his sickness goes according to his never-as-bad-as-Charlotte's-sickness pattern that he's established his whole life.

Day plans: changed.

Insight on Residency

Can you believe that October is almost done? Neither can I, and I have until Saturday to actually finish the cutest Halloween costumes. Photos to come, when they're finally done. Unless, of course, Greg or Charlotte decide that they aren't going to wear their costume. Then maybe I'll let them dress themselves and they'll go as small homeless children owing to the fact that my son refuses to wear a jacket of any sort and we have only one sweater. That sweater has no trucks, good guys, trains or airplanes. It seldom gets worn.

This has been an amazing month of learning for me. Dan is doing what he loves. It is inspiring to see him light up in his quiet way about helping people. If I had to go to work and deal with people in their dark hours of hurt and pain it would be so very difficult for me. He told me of a mother who had a baby whose hand never developed. It just stopped growing at the wrist. She had no idea until the baby was born. All I can think of is how life changing that would be in an instant. My heart goes out to her and all I can think of is to help ease the hurt by feeling some of it myself. How I would make a totally burnt out doctor by feeling all the pain my patients' have is not lost on me. He is thinking of easing the hurt by actually trying to fix the situation. (In that case there is probably not a whole lot to be done, by the way. I guess that was a bad example, but I keep thinking about it.)

What has been hard, especially this month, is being at home. I am so grateful for a husband who loves what he does and is really helping people, but it is hard to be alone. It is hard to have gone from a whole community of women who are "in this together" to being the outsider again and being pregnant and being in need of help without knowing who to ask. I know I will find my community or even if it's just my particular friends, I know it will happen. What is hard is this gap period. This period where I feel like I need Dan more than ever, and yet, I know he has less now for me than before.

And it extends beyond me. It's hard to see in my kids' eyes that they miss Dad. The hardest questions to answer are, "When will there be no more sick people?" and "If the mailman gets to not work on Sunday, then why does Daddy have to?" and "Daddy play trains with me now?" I try my best to explain how incredibly proud I am of Daddy and important his work is, but how do you help a four and two year old understand?

Don't misunderstand me. I am very well aware of the sacrifices that Daniel makes specifically on my behalf. I know he thinks of me and instead of taking a day to rest he will spend the day driving up to St. Paul to take us all to the zoo. He works hard and fast and tries his best to make it home as often as possible.

I hear that marriage is hard and it takes work, but what I don't think I understood before is that life is hard and if I don't pay attention to my ultimate goals of happy marriage and successful family relations I will fail. I had been getting frustrated that I wasn't getting all the attention and human connections that I wanted. I wanted Dan to call or talk or just be around more. I think I was wanting him to replace all the girlfriends I lost when we moved. Then one day I was given the gift of insight.

What I wanted, the attention, the calls, the connection, wasn't unreasonable. I wasn't being foolish to want friendly connections with others and my children to have more from their father. What those feelings were though were unrealistic. We are where we are and he is doing absolutely all he can do. Continuing to dwell there would only lead to further unhappiness in the whole family. Having that insight made it possible for me to be ever so much more grateful for my husband. I can see so many more positives.

What I am also learning about myself is that it is easy for me to say that I rely on the arm of the Lord and not on the "arm of man" when there are a lot of people around to support me. When I am truly feeling alone it is much harder for me to rely on the Lord. I am trying. Everything seems to be getting better as I try that.

At the end of they day I learned to be more grateful and to show that gratitude to my children. Gratitude brings happiness.

What You Don't Want to Hear

A few days ago Percie woke us (or was it just me?) up at 4:30. She never went back to sleep and made the worst racket. She's 8 months old now and so I guess we're sleep training. Although I've never heard of a dog that didn't like their bed, crate, the bathroom upstairs, or the bathroom downstairs. No matter what we do she hates to be in the house between 5 and 7 in the morning. HATES. The problem being that she can't be outside because she likes to bark at all the lovely neighbors that have to go to work early in the morning. I refuse to be the neighbor with the dog that wakes everyone up. So instead she just wakes me up. Any ideas would be accepted, but honestly nothing seems to be working right now.

So anyway, awake at 4:30 up by 6 and absolutely nothing planned. It was going to be a looooong day. I figured I at least deserved an uninterrupted shower. So I locked the doors to my bathroom. I heard the knocking during the shower, but only yelled, "I can't hear you! Wait until I'm out!" In response I heard, "mumble, step stool, mumble mumble." There were more knockings but my response was always the same.

Then I turned the shower off. I hear a very polite little knock at the door. I say, "You'll need to wait until I get dressed." To which Charlotte replies, "Mom, I need you to unbutton this tricky button on my pants because I got the chocolate chips out, but I sat in the milk."

Not something I wanted to hear.

She's Found the Video Button

I went to take some photos today and found my camera full of videos. It was about a half hour worth of video on the camera. Charlotte apparently has found the video button on my camera. Tucked in between all the videos of her watching Jungle Junction and singing nonsense to herself was this little gem. Clearly we need to revisit the details of this story.

For a more accurate version of the details go here.

Thinking Of A New Post

This is a completely unrelated photo. I just like how Greg actually thinks he might be able to lift that pumpkin if he tries hard enough.

Does anyone else have the best blog post ideas while laying in bed waiting for sleep? I swear I have the best stream of consciousness ideas in bed and the whole time I'm thinking, I should write this down. This is gold. This will be entertaining and thought provoking and enjoyable for everyone.

And then I wake up and the only part of the whole thought that I can remember is that I know way too much about the egg (thanks to two different food science classes) and that my brother-in-law hates Q-Tips. Don't even mention them to him. I'm sure you all want to know details about those two facts.

On a completely unrelated note, or maybe I thought about it last night and then forgot, Dan has started his three months of Ortho rotations. He is loving it which is really fun to see. He did, however, tell me that the hours for this first month "wont be that bad," which I kindly reminded him when he left for work at 5 AM and got home after 10:30 PM. If this is not that bad, then what will the next two months be like?

Also, I know I'm only 16 weeks pregnant, but I think the nesting stuff has already hit. Charlotte's room in the basement is having moisture issues. Not real water in the basement, but a funky smell and occasional dampness. I like to call it our Oregon room. Either way she didn't really enjoy sleeping in there alone, or getting dressed in there alone, or putting her shoes away alone. So we moved her mattress upstairs. She loves it. Greg loves it. (They did share a room together in St. Louis so I don't know why I thought they wouldn't love it.) And, best of all, they both sleep about a half hour later in the morning.

All this is to say that now I feel like we need bunk beds (which I hate, but seems like the best idea in this circumstance) upstairs. The idea being that Greg needs a big boy bed and if Charlotte's going to sleep upstairs then we should have bunk beds. Then, hopefully by the time the baby is out of the crib Charlotte will be old enough to enjoy a room to herself, or Greg will go downstairs, or something, but either way we'll be prepared for everything. Not only do I think we need bunk beds, thanks to pregnancy, I think we need them NOW. My baby is coming and we literally don't have a nest for said baby. Never mind that the baby will sleep in the bassinet for the first months of it's life, it has nothing to sleep in after that! Dan doesn't quite see the urgent need that I'm sure all of the rest of us see.

You know what else needs to get done? Finishing Halloween costumes (Minnie Mouse and Mickey Mouse thanks to our Disney trip). Organizing our office. Getting some blinds that work for a few rooms whose blinds have broken or were never working in the first place. Sewing a few things I have been wanting to get done. Fixing the problem in the Oregon room in the basement. Deciding where all of Charlotte's stuff will go. Currently it is half upstairs half down. And last but not least buy and installing a tiny screw that is missing from the toilet paper holder in the bathroom. Unbelievable how something so small can aggravate me so very much.

So I guess this is my stream of consciousness post while awake. Probably not nearly as enjoyable as the mostly asleep one, but that's what you get.

Interfering at the Mall

We went to the mall last weekend to blow off a little steam. The kids desperately needed to be able to run and jump and move and it was cold and windy and what I would call misty.

We got there and I sat next to the little house. This is the one structure in the mall play area that is tall enough to actually climb, but clearly labeled do not climb. I figure I need to be close to keep my two climbers off. (Which turned out to be a good idea since they both tried it at different points in the afternoon.)

As I sat there I slowly became aware of a little girl who was going crazy. She was running and shoving and pushing and more than one crawling infant was stepped on. I was shocked, but said nothing.

Then she decided that the play house I was sitting next to was for girls only. My kids were over playing across the area so I tried my best to ignore her. Then she started to push some boys about her same age out of the play house. The boys naturally pushed back and then their mom had to discipline them for pushing. Nobody said anything to this little crazy person. While witnessing this happen mere feet from my sitting point I tried my best to ignore it. They are not my kids. They are not my kids. They are not my kids.

When the little girl nearly shoved the boy head first out the window on the side that his mother couldn't see I sprang up and caught him so he didn't fall. Then I couldn't help it, I told the girl that pushing and hitting were unacceptable behaviors. Then I sat back down thinking where is this kids parent?

Then I spent the next 20 minutes wondering if I did the right thing. The boy wasn't mine. The girl wasn't mine. The situation had nothing to do with me. The thing is when it comes to physical harm that might happen and it appears that nobody else can see I feel obligated to at least save the kid from harm.

And by the way, where was that girls parent?

Siblings

From the other room:

C: Ow! Mo-om, Greggie hit me.

M: Well, what do you think you can do about that?

C: ... Annoy him?

M: I think you mean ignore him.

Thing That Get Broken

Being a mom of two small children I'm used to things of mine being ruined. That music box I had since I was a kid? Ripped to shreds. That makeup brush I use everyday? Chewed to bits. My brand new sofa? Markered.

But today crossed the line.

And it wasn't even the kids!

Percie.

I have tried everything I know how to keep that dumb dog from getting on the counter. I've tried punishment. I've tried distraction. I've tried positive reinforcement for staying out. I've even tried tape on the edge. Nothing works. I just have to keep zero food on the counter. Zero dirty plates. Zero anything that might interest her. That's why when I brought her into the house due to wet weather today I felt pretty confident. I had wiped every surface and put away every dish and cleaned everything off.

Then I was downstairs folding laundry. I hear a big crash from upstairs. I don't immediately react because I was waiting for the tears. They didn't come. Weird. So I decided to investigate. That stupid dog had pushed the butter dish, which was as far from the edge of the counter as I could get it, off the counter onto the floor. It smashed to pieces. I couldn't even find any big enough pieces of the handle on the top to glue together.

I know what you're thinking. It's just a butter dish. Totally replaceable. This is true, unless you know the story of this butter dish. We had purchased it with money we received from our wedding. It matches all our other dishes in the set. (Did I mention that I love matching things and sets?) It cost us $54. Dan's eyes nearly fell out when he saw that price, but we were (a) newly married and (b) using someone else's money. Those were the ONLY reasons I was able to get him to agree to the purchase.

So now the $54 butter dish is broken. Not to be replaced for probably a decade. I better come to grips with that fact. Oh well, it would probably have been broken by one of the kids at some point. This is why my china is still in the boxes.

My Little Helpers

The weatherman said there was going to be rain today. Having lived some time where raking fall leaves was always a wet affair I decided we would try to avoid that. This morning the kids and I went into the backyard and raked leaves into two piles. Then the kids ran and jumped and played in the crunchy crispness while I enjoyed the fall smell coming from the leaves. We opened all the windows and turned the fans on and now my house is filled with fresh autumn fragrance.

We didn't do a very thorough job of getting leaves up, but the trees haven't yet done a thorough job of dropping all of them. Plus, the kids loved it and were a surprising help. They loved shoving the leaves into the bag and then taking turns stomping the bag down.

Also why is it that some of my favorite photos of my kids are in fall leaves?

Greg from today and Charlotte from her first autumn ever.

Merry St. Birthaversary

A few weeks ago an unexpected box arrived at our front door via the FedEx guy. (By the way thanks FedEx guy for having dog treats in your truck. If you hadn't I would still be chasing Percie around our minivan in the front yard.) This unexpected box didn't actually surprise me thanks to grandmas and aunts we tend to get unexpected boxes pretty often. What did surprise me was that the name on the box was Dan's. Dan never gets unexpected boxes.

I brought the heavy box inside and set it in the middle of the floor, awaiting Dan's return from work. There it sat and waited and waited and waited. That is until I couldn't wait anymore and just opened the top flaps. I pulled out the inner box and nearly melted. Now I really couldn't wait until Dan got home.

As soon as he saw me with the box he said, "Merry St. Birthaversary." He got me a brand spankin' new professional 600 series Kitchenaid mixer. You see, for a few months now my old mixer had stood on the counter broken by the two year old. When that happened Dan vowed he wasn't going to put another cent into fixing the thing as it had previously been broken a few times. I mourned the loss greatly as fall was coming on because I was feeling very much in the baking mood and it is much more difficult to bake things like wheat bread without a mixer.

So in case you didn't catch it this is my only present I'm getting from Dan for the next year (Merry Christmas, Happy St. Valentine's Day, Happy Birthday, Happy Anniversary). I don't mind though because this is such a wonderfully thoughtful gift. And just in time to use it for Thanksgiving.