Chicken Wire

Remember that time when our family planted been seeds and felt super good about doing something productive as a family?

Remember how we have a dog that digs?

Twice now the entire pots have been emptied by the dog.  We'll be lucky if we get anything to grow in these conditions.

You Can't Even Tell How Tired I Am!

The day after Lee came home from the hospital Charlotte's pre-school had "Moms and Muffins" so I went to her class to enjoy some time with just her.  One of my eyes is smaller than the other, but other than that I don't look too worse for wear.  I had such a fun time with Charlotte that afternoon.

Planting a Garden...Or Something Like it

Lee has successfully made it through 4 weeks of life!  This is how he feels about that news:

 Also, he feels that his nose is quite possibly the most important thing to keep track of.  At least that's what I think considering how he can't seem to keep his eyes off it.

In an effort to do a bit of gardening, and get Charlotte to stop asking, we decided to plant some green bean seeds.  Here is our family's efforts to do some "gardening":

 Dad helping Greg decide what pots we should use.

 Lee sleeping through the entire process in the baby k'tan that our friend Mindy lent us.  This thing is awesome.  I haven't had one with any of the other kids, but I would totally go back in time and tell myself to get one if I could.

 Charlotte and Greg filling the bottom of the pots with small rocks for drainage.  Luckily we have an excess of small rocks to use in the bottom of the pots.

Getting more small rocks and dirt to fill the middle of the pots.  On top of that we put potting soil.  Then I let Charlotte and Greg plant the seeds at random.  We'll see where/if anything grows from this experiment.

The Scale Lies...Or It's Broken

Today we went back to the doctor's office (that's two stays in the hospital and 4 visits to the doctor's office in his three weeks of life so far) for a follow up appointment after Lee's discharge from the hospital. Everyone just wants to make sure that he's getting better as he's supposed to. He's developed diarrhea from all the antibiotics and they just wanted to make sure that situation is resolving as it should be.

Part of the check up was measuring his weight. Turns out he's lost weight since his first weight check in the hospital and he's exactly the same weight he was the last time we checked it at the doctor's office.

The doctor said he's not "overly concerned" with it because he has been sick and needs to build up his strength for feeding still, but that he should have gained a bit more by now. Personally I think the scale lies. Either way we have to go back to the doctor's office again to check his weight in a couple of weeks.

New Lessons

On Sunday night Lee got a fever of 101.7. We gave him Tylenol and after his fever still didn't go away Dan decided it was time to take him to the hospital. It is terrifying when your husband, who is a doctor, and who often says that things are not such a big deal, says that something warrants a trip to the emergency department.

Lee was admitted for a mandatory 48 hour watch and they took blood samples, chest x-rays, spinal fluid samples, and nose swabs to check for any of the more scary type of infectious diseases. The last 48 hours of my life have taught me a whole lot.

Lee with a cool wash cloth on his head trying to cool him down before we decided to take him in.

Now I know how helpless and worried I can feel when I hug my inferno of a child close to me as he screams. It's hard to not cry myself and just tell him I'm sorry, so very sorry for this happening to him and not being able to help him.

Now I know how many pokes it takes to get an IV inserted into my newborn's hand (3) and how hard it can be for them to find a place that will work. I've seen how to use a "wee sight" and I don't want to see that again.

Daniel cuddling Lee after he got his IV inserted.

Now I know the ingenuity that was required to build the "chair" newborns have to sit in so that they can have chest x-rays taken.

Now I know how many medical personnel it takes to do a lumbar puncture on my baby and how his spinal fluid appears. Strangely, when that happened Dan had to look away while I felt compelled to watch as if my watching the resident would make him perform any better.

Now I know how to endure the waiting game to find out if something truly scary is happening with my child. How to half sleep, half pass out with exhaustion on the "sofa bed" in the room without being able to cuddle my child to sleep as I know he likes because he's hooked up to too many things to take him over to my bed.

Lee trying to sleep in his hospital crib.

But there are other sweet, sweet lessons that I learned the last 48 hours.

Now I know how much I miss my kids when I can't be with them. Not only do I love Charlotte and Greg, I enjoy their company and when I can't be with them I miss them terribly. In all five years of my motherhood I've never had that experience before. I think my kids are fun to be around.

Now I know the depth of gratitude that I can feel for those people who help my children. The nurses felt like angels that provided such a feeling love patience and peace that helped to calm my fears. And not only them. My mother-in-law took wonderful and careful care of my other two kids at home so that I could stay at the hospital with Lee and Dan could go back to work. I can never express the gratitude in my heart for the love that I felt through all her practical help around our house.

Now I know the love and peace that comes from a loving God when I am in a turmoil. On Sunday, before we headed to the hospital Dan and I said a prayer over our littlest one. After that prayer and putting faith my my Savior my fears and anxiety seemed to dissolve. There was nothing more that I could do than to take him to the hospital and I did that. Being able to do that was a wonderful blessing.

Lee and me hanging out waiting to be discharged this morning.

Lee after all the tests came back negative and his IV was taken out.

More Photos of April

Update

Well, my mom went home yesterday and Dan's mom came out.

All I can say is I am so glad!

This is one demanding child and it's nice to have someone else (who is older than 2 or 5) hold him for sometime.

Our attempts for this week is to try to resemble a normal schedule.

Wish us luck.

Happy Easter

Here is what Easter weekend looked like at our house.

We found the Easter eggs and baskets that the Easter bunny hid in the morning. The Easter bunny thought that maybe an outside hunt would be fun for the kids, but that it was too cold in the morning so he left a pile of eggs for Daddy to hide later that afternoon. And so it went:

We colored the eggs Saturday afternoon while Daddy went and retrieved a free swing set from another resident family.
We made a family set of Easter eggs! Now we're a set of five.
And now for photos of Easter outfits!!! I truly do love to clothe my kids in matching outfits, but try to temper that. I do however dress my kids matching for holidays like Easter:
Greg was even happy to put the outfit on because I sold the idea that it was a "soft shirt" for Sunday and that he didn't have to wear a tie.
And the last, and probably most unflattering photo of me, captures my favorite moment of the day each day. Right when we all get up and the kids and I cuddle. I sure do love that moment each day.
So that's what life looks like around these parts right now.

The Next 24

Good news! Last night I slept in my own bed all night. Well, except for feeding him anyway. I still have to wake up fully in order to get that job done.

Here's Lee asleep some more.
This is what the kids were doing while I was nursing Lee yesterday. They filled the driveway with a mural welcoming Daddy home.
This was Greg's self chosen outfit yesterday. He kept pulling the shorts down to try to meet the boots. Also there were three different greens in the outfit. Currently he was throwing rocks in our garden. Just another reason those rocks need to go.
This is quite possibly the best reason to nurse my boy. When he's really truly full there's always a little dribble out the side of his mouth at the end. It looks like he's drunk on mommy milk.
This morning we took Charlotte and Greg to house of bounce to burn off some excess energy. Lee woke up and decided to get into the action by looking around.
This is the outfit that Greg picked out for Lee. Notice the way too big for him "soft pants"? That is Greg's signature look and he's already passing it down to his little brother.

As Requested

My sister can't come to see the new baby until May. She is really unhappy about this at the moment. She told me that I haven't provided enough photos or information to make up for the fact that she's not here. Apparently I need to post new photos every day. Ok then, I'll try.

Here we see Lee being held by Grandma Denise in his favorite position, tummy to tummy. He would spend all day every day like this if life were up to him.
Life might be up to him right now because Dan and I take turns sleeping with Lee in our big green recliner. That seems to be the only way he will sleep through the night. With the boppy under him so that you don't really have to hold him a person can get some sleep like that. This was my view as I woke up yesterday. I was holding my baby boy and looking at the happy, shining face of my big boy. (He got a haircut later that day and now truly does look big.)
Lee in his onsie.
Charlotte and Greg decided to dress up for Grandma Denise. Greg put all the clothing back right away, but we did have Snow White accompany us on all our errands yesterday.
This is what I am doing for most of my day.
I like the little skinny legs in this photo.
So there you have it.

Today I haven't taken any more photos yet, because Mom let me sleep in until 9AM! Now I have to go back to feeding my small one.

Because It's Easier this Way

I was going to write some sort of re-cap, but I think that can wait. Also, I'm pretty sure everyone is more interested in photos rather than the story. So here they are.

This is me the the Sunday before he was born.
This is Dan holding him after he got his eye goop on.
Here we are. Exhausted, but happy.
Charlotte and Greg have been surprisingly affectionate towards the new little guy.

Here is a photo sometime shortly after Dan gave the children Sunkist pop to drink. I'm glad I wasn't there when he took them home.
Here is Lee today in the outfit that Greg gave him.

Sorry for the lack of posts, but everything just about exploded over here the past couple of days and we welcomed sweet little Lee Dalton into the world. When I can finally see past the end of my nose and get more than one hour of sleep at a go I will try to recap the past 12 or so days. They included one five year old birthday party, a birthday for me, a birthday for Charlotte, and and birthday for Lee.

I am so glad to have Dan around. I'd be crazy by now without him (confession: I already am just maybe a little.)

Also, when Lee and I got home from the hospital I finally broke the tub in the upstairs bathroom.

Awesome.

Dashing

Some of the time the thing that saves him is his cute little dimple smile.

Like when I tell him that, even though I didn't want to share my birthday cookies, I would let him have one. (Because of the smile.)

And then he eats the last half of the bag and I look back and find only two cookies left.

After I tell him that I said he could only have one he says, "But I wanted them." And I don't get mad anyway. (Because of the smile.)

And then I end up sharing the last cookies with him anyway. (Because of that smile.)

He better not catch on to the magic of that smile. I'll be in trouble.

When it's midnight and you're still not asleep

Last night I didn't fall asleep because I was too hot, and possibly too pregnant, but mostly just too hot.

So this is what I thought about out:

• I'm going to have a baby at a hospital that I've never been to before. I tried to schedule a walk through only the next available one is on my due date. So there goes that.
• I'm so hot. How can I get myself cooled off?
• I've decided that the only thing I REALLY need to know is how to get into the hospital after hours. The hospital and staff are so friendly, I'm sure if I just walk in looking like I'm in labor I'll get ushered to the right spot.
• Maybe if I turn my fan on it'll cool me off.
• When I went to the hospital with Greg there were numerous people who pointed us in the right direction. Then again, Dan had already worked that floor of the hospital.
• I have to flip the switch to turn the fan on and that will turn the light on. That could wake Dan up.
• Hey, Dan works at this hospital. I should just have him swing by the labor and delivery unit and pick up the paperwork to fill out. Oh and ask where we go if we want to get in after hours.
• I don't care if it wakes Dan up. I'm doing it.
• Also, maybe I should figure out what to do with my other two kids when I need to go to the hospital.

Then I fell asleep. Only to be awakened about 40 minutes later because Greg had to pee.

A Picture I Love

This is a photo of me with my sister.

Boy do I love my sister. I've only got one you know so she's pretty important.

Also, it reminds me that my son really does look a lot like me.

Fighting Through It

Two things have recently been a pretty big frustration for me.

First, the job I do at church. I voluntarily teach the Sunday school class for 4 year olds (Charlotte's class). I have eight of them and that's only half the 4 year olds that attend our congregation. I started in January and have been struggling with it ever since. Last year I taught the 6 year old class and it was wonderful. I loved that group of kids and their abilities and though I did miss out on adult time, it truly felt like I was doing something important and that what I was doing was actually getting through to the kids. This group is so different and each week I stress over getting enough material ready that their attention spans will be able to cope with and then invariably it never works out as I had wanted. Honestly sometimes I look at these kids and think, is there anything going on in that little brain of yours right now? which is not at all the feeling I want to be having while doing service at church.

Second, my kids' attitudes. Charlotte and Greg are fighting lately. And picking on each other. And fighting me. One of them starts and the other one is more than eager to jump right into the ring. And also I've had to start telling them to do things three, four, or five times before they will even move their little bodies to get the job done. All of this amounts to me not really wanting to spend time with them. Me not wanting to spend time with them leads me to feel guilty because I really do feel like they are awesome people.

That is why I wanted to record Sunday and Monday. I cleaned the upstairs Saturday in preparation for Charlotte's birthday party this coming Saturday and in preparation for having it clean when I go into labor. While cleaning I listened to the latest general conference messages from the leaders of my church. This is something that I normally don't do. There were a few pearls of wisdom I got from that. First and foremost in my mind was that I really should just try to spend more time with my kids doing things that they want to do. I spend all day, every day with my kids, but seldom do I remember to sit down and let them have control over what we're going to do. I also learned that when I honestly try my very best to discern the best use of my time when trying to serve then I will be met with more success. I think I was trying to over-prepare for my lessons.

So Sunday rolled around and I prayed for help. And I can honestly say that I 100% received it. Dan was at work all day so that meant that I would be on my own with the kids. Usually that means a very busy, stressful day. I don't know how to really pinpoint anything that was different. I don't think it was because of me that our day was so relaxed. I had plenty of time for everyone and everything before church. Then my lesson, though much simpler than intended and heavily influenced by playing games, went really smoothly and I think the kids might remember the general topic.

That night, instead of a fancy Sunday dinner my kids and I sat on the floor together and ate hard cooked eggs, cheese, crackers, carrots, peanut butter bananas, and hot dogs for a goodie plate. Our picnic dinner was simple and enjoyable because there was nothing that my kids don't like. I was even gratified with each child eating an entire carrot.

Then this morning, after Charlotte's dentist appointment, I let the kids decide what we were going to do. We looked through the toy aisles at Target, and had lunch at Panera (OK, so maybe I did veto McDonald's but there was no way I was going to eat there today), and then came home and played all our board games. There were still plenty of minor battles between the two of them and with me, but putting out those fires didn't seem to exhaust or anger me.

In short these past two days have been great. Now let's just hope we can keep this ball rolling.

It's Finally Happened

I realized two things have finally happened today.

First, I'm now considered full term. 37 week! Yeah! Note to Lee: "Please don't come early. Daddy's last day of this rotation is your due date. Please, baby, please don't come early."

Second, it took almost a year, but I think I have finally bonded with my dog. She is big, and sheds everywhere, and naughty, but there is absolutely no way now that I'd get rid of her. Also, I would probably defend her if I thought she was in some sort of trouble (thought what trouble she could get in that I could help with I'm not sure). She's been my almost constant companion this past week and tends to obey me much better than either of the kids. Well, that's not true, but she doesn't talk back or cry so maybe I just appreciate her silence.

Remedial Motherhood 101

Just in case this happens to you and you are dumb enough to think it's a good idea, here's how my day went.

First go grocery shopping with both kids knowing that it's going to take a looooong time because you are stocking up. And getting post delivery supplies. On the one hand, it has to be done. On the other, you really should know better than to do it with both children. This is probably why you are in remedial motherhood.

This, as every mother can tell you, will end in disaster.

The one and only funny part of the whole thing is when the lady ringing you up asks if you want a gift receipt for the newborn size diapers. Honest enough mistake I guess, but wait, at 36 weeks you look ready to go at any minute. Side story: While I was on vacation in Washington I went with my parents to Cabela's. While in the shoe department baby Lee gave a particularly strong kick right into my side. I gasped from the strength of it just as a worker was coming around the corner. He thought we were for sure going to have a baby right then and there in the department. I kind of like making complete strangers nervous.

Back to grocery shopping from Hell. Because you can't think past the red colors that seem to have risen behind your eyes and beating your children, you should probably call your mom. Minus points for lack of creativity, positive points for avoiding beating your children. She will tell you to distance yourself from the kids until you have calmed down.

Your solution: make the children sit on time out with their noses in separate corners for the entire time it takes to unload the $200 worth of groceries and put it all away. And maybe clean out the minivan and move it to the driveway, but they wont know the difference.

Then at lunch your daughter brings up helping you paint your bedroom. In a fit of nesting, you decided last Saturday (while Dan was home to spread the parenting duties) to paint it, but then forgot you didn't have a paint try. Of the millions of big and small home improvement supplies you moved from your last place, you neglected to move even a single paint tray. You moved about twenty paint keys, but not a single paint try. Now that you have it you are poised for action. You might be feeling a little bad about how you handled the grocery store and a strong urge to get this done today (because you are your mother's daughter and that's how things work in our brains).

You decide that it would be OK to have both children help you paint. They are so eager and so excited when you say OK that you think maybe this is a good thing after all.

YOU ARE WRONG. This is another reason why you are in the remedial course. Even when you have taped off every possible surface. Even when you have spread plastic drop cloths over all the floor you will be working on. Even if everyone is eager to get this job done. It is still a bad idea.

Did you know that a four year old can in fact use a paint key flawlessly? Yeah, neither did I. Also, a two year old can use nothing related to paint flawlessly? Also, when said two year old steps in paint he forgets the one and only rule you gave him (stay on the plastic) and immediately runs toward the carpet to wipe off his foot?

It does not matter how hard and fast you work. They out number you and are also working with a vigor reserved for the truly carefree creative spirit, unconcerned with trivial things like even coverage.

In the end you decide that it's "quiet time." Child number one takes off the paint clothing and heads to watch TV in the basement. Child number two takes a nap. You end up working as hard and as fast as possible to smooth out the paint before it dries.

So although this is a bad idea that you should never, ever repeat, there were some positives. First off, your kids absolutely loved it. They were so proud to show Daddy what they did when he got home. Secondly, you worked up a sweat. Exercise can be checked off for today! Thirdly, at least you recovered your sanity before irreparable damage was done. Fourthly, it was kind of awesome to see the look on your husband's face when he realized that there was a home improvement project that got done and he had absolutely nothing to do with it. And fifthly, because he had nothing to do with it you were able to throw the rollers in the trash can outside instead of washing them out like you hate doing. Shhh...he'll never know.

*Editorial note* about the paint. When we went on Saturday I found out that Daniel only really prefers working with neutral colors. Not only that he really prefers neutral browns. Except in bathrooms where he thinks they should be some form of aqua. The super expensive tiles that we got a screaming deal on are neither brown nor aqua. Having convinced him to just go with the stinking grey already (as it matches the tile in the bath) he went to find a gallon of paint for the guy to mix. He got mad because he could only find paint + primer. We have tried paint + primer and do not like the results. If you like them kuddos to you, but we did not. I told him that the guy probably knows what to get and just give him the paint sample already because standing in The Home Depot makes my back hurt. He did as I somewhat less than nicely had requested. When we got home he noticed that the guy had gone back and found the zero VOC type of paint (read: more expensive). Baby in utero: healthy. Husband in bedroom: beheaded. He was so angry it exploded.

My Heart Breaks

My cousin Hilary is only a year younger than I am. Growing up we spent two weeks every summer together. We were with their family for every Christmas as well. I think our families are just about as close as you can get when living in two different states. I love her and her husband with all my heart. Her little boy Finn is about the closest thing to a cousin that my kids have on my side of the family. Then on Monday tragedy struck. My heart is just breaking for them and I can't seem to think about it without tears. Since there is absolutely nothing I feel I can do to actually ease their pain right now I am simply mourning with them and praying for them. Please send them your prayers.

A Long Month

Dan started a new rotation Saturday and hasn't really been home since.

Yesterday he went in at 5 AM and got home at almost 10 PM and then went back in at 5 this morning.

Charlotte got sick Monday and puked half the day.

She had to stay home from school Tuesday. I thought she was fine in the morning then in the afternoon she took a turn for the worse.

I thought she was better today so I didn't stay on top of the Tylenol/Motrin dosing.

She puked some more this afternoon.

Greg is going INSANE because of staying home with nothing to do and missing his favorite playmate.

This afternoon he occupied himself by running around the house screaming.

Looks like Charlotte will probably need to stay home tomorrow too.

Is it only Thursday tomorrow?