Wednesday, May 07, 2014


Before we came down here I thought I had no idea what to expect.  I'm not sure what I did expect, but this isn't it.  It is so much more and less and kind of sort of sideways from everything normal in my life. I love it and hate it and thrill at our adventures and ache for consistency.  So before it's gone I thought I should write down some tidbits of life here.  (I just love the word tidbits it sounds so appropriate to its usage and funny on my tongue)
This is out our back door.  Can you even believe how lucky I am to be living in a place where I get to wake up to geese, and egrets and fishes? Beautiful. And doubly so since it has continued to be cold back home.  It feels like my insides have thawed.  I am so very much like my grandma in this sense.  The cold goes right through to my bones. (Which Dan says is a silly saying that makes absolutely no sense whatever, but I don't care because that's exactly how it feels, you know?) I wasn't even aware of the frozen nature of life really until I walked outside without shoes on and it was glory.  I bet Lee thinks so too because I can NOT keep shoes on that kid. Shoes or no shoes I think that perhaps Florida in April/May is the most glorious place on earth. 

On the other hand, what isn't pictured is the view from about 90 degrees around.  It is the freeway.  The constant sound of the coming and going of humanity. Even at 1 AM. I thought after a while I would get used to it and not hear it anymore, but I guess it hasn't been long enough yet. It is such a funny clash to my brain.  The kids and I happened on a momma goose with her goslings at the edge of that pond the other day on our way home from swimming. We stopped and watched as she patiently ushered them in the right direction while they wandered this way and that. It was funny to watch her issue warnings to them about us. I felt like we were somehow living in the pages of a book while life just buzzed around us.  How is it that life can move so quickly and so slowly at the same moment?

That's what living here is though. Fast and slow and different each day with a sameness about them all that strings them together into the narrative of our life.

Monday, January 06, 2014

Coming home

A year is too long a time for me to plan for. A year is only a good length of time for remembering. And sometimes not even then. Sometimes a year ago turns out to be foggy memories cobbled together from photos taken and words written and emotions felt. A year is forever in the life of a young child and a second in the eye of his mother.

With that in mind I thought I needed to write down our experience of coming home. It felt magical I tell you. The kids did so well in the plane. Lee even made a few flight attendants laugh. Daniel had been home a week and had Saturday, the day before we were coming off. He cleaned the house and organized the fridge and coat closet and our bedroom closet. And he went grocery shopping.

Flying home to him reminds me of our 7 month engagement spent almost entirely apart. We flew to see each other. I get off the plane and walk. This time I had my hands completely full so even Lee had to walk. It was very slow with heavy lifting from everyone. Our plane came in at the farthest gate from baggage claim so we rode a few walkways, but mostly we slowly made our way to baggage claim. With every step my anticipation grew. He had said he was running late so I didn't anticipate him being there. We made it to our spot and dropped our bags and suddenly he was there wrapping the kids in a big hug. Receiving presents from Charlotte and taking my load from me. I am always surprised at the level of happy I feel coming home to him though I guess I shouldn't be by now.

We made it home and I walked in the door of my house and was confronted with the comforts of home instead of the inevitable mess we always seem to leave it in. It was like a real vacation without the extra work tacked on behind. Then we all unpacked together leisurely with jokes and laughter.

Today I was able to spend inside with the kids taking down Christmas because of him. We played and made cookies and got everything boxed up all at once. That wouldn't have been possible without his work. I work hard to make so many things in his life work. And he does the same for me. So that's something worth remembering.