This last month though he has been around. And so he's been served a healthy dose of my worry about things that can not possibly be changed, (Do I really have to go through labor in order to get this kid? If I died today what would you name our baby? Name him! Name him now!) things that we are working on fixing, (what if the dampness comes back into the basement even though we've fixed the perceived problem?) and things that are so totally mundane even I can't believe I'm worried (what are we going to do for breakfast when we're at your parents' house?)
Usually I don't think he minds so much. Sometimes though, I bet it bothers him. Last night, after worrying for a few days over some things they sort of spilled out of my mouth at 11:30 at night. Not only that, I started talking in the middle of my thought process instead of at the beginning. As it turns out when it's 11:30 at night, and you are 31 weeks pregnant, and you're worrying about things that haven't even happened yet, it might be hard for your husband to understand you. All I was needing was a little bit of, "I see how that might worry you, but you don't need to because I'll be there and I can help." Probably that's what I should have told him. Instead I just kept talking and talking and talking and getting myself totally worked up. I knew I was going about the whole thing terribly wrong, but I just couldn't stop myself. That was until he finally said, "I am so confused." And then I cried.
And in the end I was finally able to tell him what I should have said in the first place. Then I apologized for being totally insane. Then he did exactly what we both should have done in the first place. He hugged me and kissed me and told me he loved me and then he went to sleep. Next time friends, next time that's what I'm going to try doing.