Big News

At times of introspection, my mind has been painting an image of my family. In this image my husband is courageously, excitedly, and joyously leading us over an incredibly large, deep and scary crevasse. He’s done it before in real life so it’s not that difficult an image for my mind to conjure. He knows where he wants our feet to fall and what he desires for our end result. Before we set out on this journey we talked about it and I agreed that I also desired the same things. Now though, as I’ve left the safe and sure ground we were standing on my courage fails me.

I am still excited for our end result. I’m still excited about the strongholds in between. It’s just that now I’m faced with the reality of how difficult the route we’ve made for ourselves might actually be. My husband always thought I could do more difficult climbs than I believed I could.

What’s one of the most important things to remember about situations like this? Don’t look down. So what happened that made me look down to where my feet are? Because our next step is a big one. Huge. I’m not so sure my legs can span the gap from one to two children. I feel like I’ve mentally planted both feet on the safe keep the status quo rock and I’m trying to prepare for the next step. I remember how much work it took to pull ourselves up from zero to one and my mind can only see how it must be all the more difficult to leap from one to two.

When I say that to myself though I remember Daniel telling me that you’re not supposed to get stuck in the middle of a big step. Keep your momentum going from step to step. Never put your feet on the same rock. You’re unstable that way and could easily fall.

So then I try to alter the image in my mind. I give myself a little more courage, a little more faith, and a little more strength. I hold Daniel’s hand tighter and I grasp Charlotte’s hand as I lead her along with us. Together the three of us will courageously, excitedly, and joyously become four.