Talents

All I can say is that it's a good thing my husband isn't vain at all. When we got married he suggested I buy clippers so I could cut his hair. I bought a set of clippers. I proceeded to be the sole person that cuts my husband's hair. I have absolutely no training, but I got a video tape with the set. (You can easily see where this is going I'm sure.) After watching the tape (which was produced in the 80's and had little to no value in teaching me to cut my husband's hair, that is unless he wants a flat top) I started in on his head. The first year of our marriage was a bad hair year for my husband. On the plus side we did find out that about a week and a half to two weeks later his hair looks just as good as if it were cut by a professional.

Now I would like to say that I think I'm pretty ok at cutting my husband's hair. I have developed my own system that I use every time. My idea is that with repetition I might just perfect the system. Here's how it goes:

1. Use the clippers on the bottom 2/3 of his head.
2. Get his whole head wet.
3. Realize that I still haven't shaved his neck and around his ears so towel dry is head.
4. Use the clippers on his neck.
5. Get his head wet again.
6. Get out the scissors.
7. Accidentally scrape the comb across the top of both ears while combing it out.
8. Cut a T to divide the top of his head into 4 quadrants. This I will use as a guide later so that it's all even.
9. Lose where the T was and make another one.
10. At this point I get sort of confused about the two different T's because of course one is shorter than the other. Since I can't make hair longer I use the shorter of the two T's.
11. Fill in the rest of the four quadrants so that the hair is longer on the top of his head than on the sides.
12. Proclaim the job finished.
13. Spend the rest of the night looking funny at him because I cut one side longer than the other.
14. Decide to do something about it the next night and cut the other side even with the first.
15. Spend the next two weeks finding spots that I didn't cut as short as others.
16. Call them "texture" when husband asks me about it.

All I can say is it's really good that my husband isn't vain. He honestly thinks I'm good at cutting hair! I think I'm better at cutting hair than I was and one day I might be good enough to get it right on the first try. By then though, he'll probably just go to the barber again. Sometimes I just have to laugh at myself!