Do you ever sometimes have a very strong reaction to something, but have to stop yourself because you're not sure if you're over-reacting or if your reaction is totally justified? Something totally upsets you, but maybe its just in the moment and a while later you will look back and tell yourself that it wasn't that big a deal. That happens to me a lot. In fact, I count it one of the many marks of growing up that I wait a few beats to react to things. I'm pretty sure that Daniel taught me that. He is amazing at waiting for perspective. Not just a few beats of perspective either. He can wait days or weeks even. Then, if something is still bothering him, he will bring it up. We have avoided countless hurt feelings and angry words by just taking time before talking about things.
I realize that is only one way to responsibly communicate and deal with situations. My sister has said that she is somewhat the opposite. She has learned that if something bothers her she needs to let others know instead of just letting it go. Because just letting it go doesn't really always happen, more often than not it bottles up inside of her. I guess she has the tendency to never tell people, which would then, over time build pressure and explode.
Today something happened with a friend of mine which I'm not going into. I was very angry at the time, but tried my best to just let things cool off. I'm not angry anymore, it really wasn't a big deal, but I'm still bothered by it. Part of me says I should say something. Part of me says that being a good friend is overlooking little situations like these. Part of me says that in a few months we wont even be living in the same state so I should just let it go. How do I know which would be the most responsible behavior?
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6 comments:
The last 4 sentences I totally relate too.
this is a tough one. especially because i think you're prone to chalking up some of these "small things" as insignificant. if you look at it from the other side, you see that a good friend wouldnt keep doing this over and over again...
that being said, scott has asked me to not "make a deal of things" since we're leaving soon. so im not... but i would be lying if i said this didnt play a factor into my desire to sell faster and get out of town. sad, but true. i really want to speak up sometimes, but i dont because it's not worth the drama that will ensue.
if you figure it out, let me know.
As someone who often tends to react with a knee-jerk, I hear what you are saying. I also don't know exactly what the situation is and if the same things keep happening over and over again, but I find this quote from President Monson helpful as I am dealing with those I love (or consider good friends)
"Charity is having patience with someone who has let us down. It is resisting the impulse to become offended easily. It is accepting weaknesses and shortcomings. It is accepting people as they truly are."
Hope this helps. Call me if you need to vent. Sometimes having a totally neutral party to talk to also helps.
Well, we are totally different on this issue so I'm not sure I can help.
The way I deal with things in my family is a lot different with how I deal with my friends.
With family I try to immediatley deal with misunderstanding before I get upset with a situation. If I deal with it immediatley I haven't given myself to get up to the raging crazy she-devil that I can easily become. I like to deal with it quickly and get it over with because I love my family and their relationship means the most to me.
With friends it's different. Most of the time I never bring anything up and just let it go. Like my friends that constantly barge in and expect me to do favors for them all the time? I just deal with them and I've slowly built distance between us.
If I were you I'd just pull away and let it go because you're moving so soon.
In the very long haul.....the less said, the better. Things blow over.
In the words of John Lennon and Paul McCartney, "Let It Be".
Or even better from Janis Joplin, "If they can't take a joke" imagine the rest of the quote.
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