T v. W

Well, I've been married a little over a month and have run full force into a huge difference between the two families. Here is the story:

I got sick on Saturday. I told my husband I wasn't feeling well in the morning during breakfast. He still really REALLY wanted to go to the gun & outdoors show so I caved and said I'd go with him. (Don't get me started about that last sentence.) Anyway, we went with his parents and left around noon. John, my father-in-law, decided he'd get us lunch and when we stopped at the place I was so sick to my stomach that the smell of the Mexican food was torture! (Probably a bit of an overstatement.) So everyone else ate while I just sat there. We went to the fairgrounds and found out that it was NOT as my husband had though and gun & outdoors show but merely a gun show. Since nobody was REALLY interested in paying the money just to go look at guns we decided to bag the whole idea. I was very grateful thinking that I would be able to return home soon. John had the alternate activity of going to look at the Saline (I'm not sure how to spell that one), which is some type of Mustang. I was perfectly happy with that since I figured it would be quicker than the gun show anyway. Little did I know what was ahead of me. I got SO SICK on the way to Coeur d'Alene that we had to pull over at the first gas station he could see so I could throw up in the restroom. Then we STILL MADE two other stops after having established how sick I was. I was so very upset at this I just made myself sicker. Plus, the motion of the car was making things in my stomach even worse. I was really glad at this point I had not eaten any of the Mexican food at lunch. I am still feeling a little under the weather six days later. I have calmed down and just realized that the reason my in-laws are acting like this is a basic philisophical difference between our families. I thought it was just because they didn't really think I WAS sick. I thought it might be because they didn't CARE that I was sick. No, no. The reason is that in my family the focus on a sick person is making them feel the best they can while on the road to recovery. You make sure they have enough blankets, you give them time to sleep and make sure they have the food they need. In my husband's family the focus is on making you feel as normal as possible to help you focus on BEING recovered. Therefore they treat you as much like you are not sick as they can. This means they don't really check in on you (this included my husband for a while) or anything of the sort. While neither way is wrong it certainly did hurt my feelings until I understood that I had to ask for any help I wanted. Now I ask and they are more than happy to help me. What a fiasco! Next time I must remember that I'm not with my parents before I get my feelings hurt.

PS. I can't wait to be better. I'm so tired of being sick at the moment.