Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Conspiracy Theory

My family is trying to kill me. Do I have hard evidence of that? No. But I give you my reasoning:

Why would my sweet child, who had previously been sleeping at least 5 hours at a time if not 7, suddenly decide to revert back to 3?

Why would my husband have to work evening shift last week and then night shift this week at the hospital catching babies? Or is he just saying he has to work, but really he's in cahoots with the non sleeping child? Maybe he's going over to someone else's house. Someone who has a sleeping child. Then he comes back home at 8 AM and goes back to bed to sleep for six more hours just to throw me off the scent.

Why would my sweet older child decide to get sick right at the same time? Requiring me to wake up multiple times a night and get her water so she doesn't cough until she throws up. This means I have gotten no more than two hours of sleep at a time.

Why also would my sweet child decide that he no longer can self soothe when waking up too early from his afternoon nap? Then my dear husband doesn't know how to soothe him so I must then wake up from the only nap I've had in DAYS in order to get said child back to sleep.

Then to top it all off, I'm awake from soothing said child so I pick up the house. Dear husband doesn't want me to get too suspicious so he helps pick up the house. Then what does dear husband do? Goes to sleep!

You may say that I'm crazy. You may say that all of these just happen to coincide at the same time. But I know the truth. They're slowly but surely trying to kill me.

5 comments:

Nurse Graham said...

I think there is a song with lyrics that go something like "My momma said there would be days like this."

At least Dan helped pick up before he went back to sleep.

Hang in there.

dad said...

That is too funny. Just think, when you're 55 years old there won't be anyone to wake you.

Katie said...

Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Then you can sleep in all you want while grandmas and aunties take care of everybody. And your house won't need cleaning.

And we'll order pizza or go out if we're too tired to cook.

Dan's mom said...

I know the observation is a bit late on this post but could Greggie be teething?

Rita said...

aaah. all too familiar! when people say that your life changes dramatically when you get married.... and more severly, have kids... you don't really understand what that really means until it happens to you.