On being a Red Head

Being a red head was a defining characteristic for me for as long as I can remember.  I came into the world with a bright orange head and I've been getting complements and comments on it ever since.  I remember looking at those hospital photos of me where they are printed photo booth style.  You know four tiny prints vertical in a line and my head is covered with orange fuzz.  It has made me stand out in a crowd for the good and bad.  It has always felt like my personality is interlaced with my hair color.  Red, fierce, blazing, tempered.  But also awkward, speckled, and sometimes goofy.

Growing up I always, always got, "Red hair!  Where did you get that red hair?" Sometimes it was "that beautiful red hair" but always the question on where it came from.  Like somehow as a small child I was supposed to be able to explain to adults the facts of hereditary traits.  There is no good answer for a six year old to give to an adult asking this question. Sometimes we adults ask stupid questions.

I hope my sister doesn't mind me posting this photo of her.
I just thought it showed her pretty red hair off well.

Now I'm always, always asked, "You have children? No redheads then?" As if I keep my red headed child at home.  This is also a statement that irks me.  I don't want my children always hearing this same phrase as if they aren't perfect exactly the way they are. As if golden blonde/brown isn't absolutely how they, my children, should look.  As if I'm somehow holding out hope that I will be blessed with that one special child that one red head.  As if all my children aren't special to me.

And while we're on the topic of things that are mildly annoying, though really mean absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things, I also don't like the sentiment, "You have such a beautiful red color." And some people go so far as to include, "Some of the red hair colors, like that bright orange color, aren't as attractive." Hidden (and not so hidden) in this complicated compliment, is the implication that the bright orange/red hair color is definitely not desirable.  It's only when red hair turns to a darker brown tint that it is becoming.  Frustrating for a few reasons: 1)I was born orange/red and had orange/red as a small one and 2) if a person is talking to a redhead, chances are that redhead knows and is probably related to another red head, who just might have orange/red hair.  So now the person has said something unkind about someone I know and probably love.

Hmm, this post was a little hijacked by rants.  I started out with an entirely different idea in mind, but I like this so I'm keeping it.