Greg's Talking

I don't think I've mentioned lately how much I love just listening to my son talk. He's at that amazing phase where he can say pretty much anything he wants to, but sometimes it comes out wrong. He thinks about it and then corrects himself. Also his syntax is so funny. Their funny mistakes when learning to talk makes up for just about everything else that comes with a two year old.

A few nights ago Greg wanted some of whatever sauce Dad put on his rice. Dad tried to tell him he wouldn't want it to which he said, "But yeah Dad!"

This morning after eating his off brand otter pop I told him to throw the wrapper away. I didn't understand when he said, "sych-a-bin?" until he walked over to the sink and opened the door to the recycling bin. My two year old knows about recycling! I had no idea.

True Love

My husband is amazing. He overwhelms me with his sure knowledge of what it means to be an honorable man, husband and father. He seems to have an unending amount of energy, love and stamina and I feel wrapped in his love everyday.

Not only does he have a very stressful and demanding job, but he manages to get home and pick up the slack that I seem to be leaving around all over the place. Last week he worked the 6am to 8pm shift. That meant he wouldn't be able to see the kids awake at all for the whole week. You know what he did? He got up extra early and went in before his shift started, worked as hard and as fast as he could, even right through his dinner just so that he could be home to help put the kids to bed. I can tell you it made all the difference in our week.

This week he's working 7pm until 9am. When he got home this morning I was really hoping to just have things together so he could go right to bed. What happened was he walked in the door and was met by his son screaming at the kitchen table, his daughter angrily shutting herself in the bedroom and his wife crying on the chair in his son's room. Within 5 minutes he had everyone soothed, pulled together and ready to face the day.

We may not have the time or money to really get to "romantic" activities and things in our life right now. I keep learning that it doesn't matter what is defined as romantic, what really matters is that I love him. He loves me. And we know it. Every day.

Soccer Camp

If I were prepared I would have brought a camera like the other moms. As it is I was proud of getting there on time. Charlotte's in a little, very informal, (someone else's) mommy run soccer camp at the moment. It's fun to see her get tired, but still want to not let the other team make a goal. She's working at it and that's fun to watch. Greg, being 2, is too young to technically participate in the camp, but still manages to make his way into the training exercises his sister is doing. I did manage to make him stay off the field the last little bit of the day when they had a game.

Charlotte's team name for today:

The Sparkle Go Girls!

What Do You See

We told the kids about baby #3. It felt too soon, but Charlotte was getting worried about how sick I am. Now whenever I tell her that I feel sick she says, "No Mommy, you're just pregnant." Very cute.

This time around things feel so different from the others. The sickness seems to be more acute, but what has bowled me over is the emotional toll of the pregnancy. Let me attempt to explain. Maybe it's because I'm hormonal and thus can't really control my emotions. Maybe not.

Not only am I sick, I'm exhausted. And I can't seem to plan anything. All this means is that I feel like I'm missing all my definitions of what it means to be a good mom. I know that my kids are resilient, and so I try not to worry too much, but I feel so guilty. Pretty much all the time. I see discipline problems, I see boredom, and I also see amazing creativity. All of which I want to be proactive about, but can't seem to rouse myself enough.

With all of these experiences though I seem to be learning a few simple and precious truths. The first of which is how much I love my kids. They are so amazing. I love my kids with a fierceness that motivates me to fight to get up in the morning and be with them. My love for them seems to be greater than I would have ever known if I hadn't had to work against this resistance.

Also I know that what I'm doing right now, bringing this baby into our family is exactly what Heavenly Father wants for our family. I know that Dan and I want a baby, but if it weren't for how hard this one has been I don't think I would have had to have such faith in this choice. I know with the very core of who I am that this baby will forever be a blessing to everyone in our family. I, obviously, don't know how things are going to turn out, but I do know that our choice has been a good one.

With this choice I know that I will get help from Heavenly Father. I know that as I strive to work toward this goal, whether I meet it or not, my efforts will be added on. I know that Dan will be blessed in his work and at home in his capacities as well.

We are doing what we need to do right now and that feels really good.

Even if everything else doesn't.

The Big News

So I'm pregnant.

Six weeks, which is probably too soon to tell people. I always do that too soon. And I also never tell in some sort of fun and special way. I love to hear how other people do this, but I guess I don't put a high enough priority on that.

Speaking of priorities this pregnancy has really focused my priorities because that's all I can do right now. Necessities.

I took the kids to a little beach, was it only last week?, and brought a picnic. Forgetting that my daughter takes one bite of food and then has to pee 100% of the time, I just started in on the food. Mostly because I was shaking and going to throw up. She took her first bite and then said, "I have to pee." I looked up the hill to the public restrooms, down at the blanket full of beach stuff and food, at my son eating his lunch, and then back at Charlotte. Then I told her to run to the water, find a place by herself, sit down in the water, and pee there. Because not peeing in the lake (where fish are peeing anyway) is not a necessity.

Also, my kids look absolutely ridiculous everywhere we go lately. Fighting over what to wear? Not necessity. Fighting over doing your hair? Not necessity. At least they're not naked.

So sorry to all if I let things slip. I'm focused on making it through the day, loving the two kids I have, and helping a third come into our family. Turns out that is taking everything I have.

Puppies and Babies

We're training Percie.

It takes a lot of work.

It feels like having a newborn all over again. Only this time my newborn isn't small and cuddly and really, really good smelling.

This time my newborn pounces, and nips, and smells really really bad.

So maybe it's like having an 18 month old boy who is naughty.

The difference is that with an 18 month old boy, I've already had the whole newborn, and baby phase to build up all my love.

But she is so very good and smart. Hopefully things will start to stick soon.

Goals for the week: Attention when called, standing on a loose leash, sitting, keep working on not jumping on the counters (we are going through way too many Clorox wipes)

PS. My cat is sick and keeps sneezing. I'm totally mean because this makes me laugh.