New Lessons

On Sunday night Lee got a fever of 101.7. We gave him Tylenol and after his fever still didn't go away Dan decided it was time to take him to the hospital. It is terrifying when your husband, who is a doctor, and who often says that things are not such a big deal, says that something warrants a trip to the emergency department.

Lee was admitted for a mandatory 48 hour watch and they took blood samples, chest x-rays, spinal fluid samples, and nose swabs to check for any of the more scary type of infectious diseases. The last 48 hours of my life have taught me a whole lot.

Lee with a cool wash cloth on his head trying to cool him down before we decided to take him in.

Now I know how helpless and worried I can feel when I hug my inferno of a child close to me as he screams. It's hard to not cry myself and just tell him I'm sorry, so very sorry for this happening to him and not being able to help him.

Now I know how many pokes it takes to get an IV inserted into my newborn's hand (3) and how hard it can be for them to find a place that will work. I've seen how to use a "wee sight" and I don't want to see that again.

Daniel cuddling Lee after he got his IV inserted.

Now I know the ingenuity that was required to build the "chair" newborns have to sit in so that they can have chest x-rays taken.

Now I know how many medical personnel it takes to do a lumbar puncture on my baby and how his spinal fluid appears. Strangely, when that happened Dan had to look away while I felt compelled to watch as if my watching the resident would make him perform any better.

Now I know how to endure the waiting game to find out if something truly scary is happening with my child. How to half sleep, half pass out with exhaustion on the "sofa bed" in the room without being able to cuddle my child to sleep as I know he likes because he's hooked up to too many things to take him over to my bed.

Lee trying to sleep in his hospital crib.

But there are other sweet, sweet lessons that I learned the last 48 hours.

Now I know how much I miss my kids when I can't be with them. Not only do I love Charlotte and Greg, I enjoy their company and when I can't be with them I miss them terribly. In all five years of my motherhood I've never had that experience before. I think my kids are fun to be around.

Now I know the depth of gratitude that I can feel for those people who help my children. The nurses felt like angels that provided such a feeling love patience and peace that helped to calm my fears. And not only them. My mother-in-law took wonderful and careful care of my other two kids at home so that I could stay at the hospital with Lee and Dan could go back to work. I can never express the gratitude in my heart for the love that I felt through all her practical help around our house.

Now I know the love and peace that comes from a loving God when I am in a turmoil. On Sunday, before we headed to the hospital Dan and I said a prayer over our littlest one. After that prayer and putting faith my my Savior my fears and anxiety seemed to dissolve. There was nothing more that I could do than to take him to the hospital and I did that. Being able to do that was a wonderful blessing.

Lee and me hanging out waiting to be discharged this morning.

Lee after all the tests came back negative and his IV was taken out.