A Good Friend

I always hear, "If you want to have a good friend then you need to be a good friend." I have found that to be true more and more as I'm experiencing life. Mostly I realize that if I want to have social interaction I need to invite, I need to contact, and I need to go out of my way to meet with people. Most people don't really want to be the ones to do that. To be honest, I don't really want to be the one to do it either. In a perfect (read lazy) world everyone would call me up and invite me over. Turns out that would be pretty lame for everyone else.

Confession: I'm super slow at making friends. I feel like I've started my little group of close friends since we moved here. I have a few that I feel comfortable just calling up and asking what they're doing, but, honestly not many. Don't misunderstand, I love my little circle of close friends. And I'm super happy to know that they're there, but more to the point the women I feel closest to are the ones that really truly did call me up! My friend Mindy is awesome at this. Totally 100% awesome at being there for people. She has tons of friends. Perhaps I should be more like her. More giving, more willing to reach out. I decided this past week that I need to go beyond my comfort zone. Events at our last med wives lady's night were sort of.....illuminating as to my situation here. Really most of the women that I meet are pretty much in my same position. They are wives and they've moved away from their family and old support system. They need a new one just as much as I do. But in the back of my mind I'm thinking to myself, "But really, do they? Haven't most of them already found close friends? Would they really like it if I called and invited them over just to play scrabble? They're probably too busy."

If I want to be a good friend I have to go out of my comfort zone. Who really wants to do that? I sure don't. But what I don't want even more is to feel like there's nobody I could call just to say, "I have to escape my house! Can I come over there for a while?" Currently it would take a whole lot of courage to do that. No, not courage. Just a comfort level that I don't yet have. Comfortable knowing that the impostion I would have on the other person would be overlooked. I'd also really, really like to have a friend that would feel comfortable doing that with me. Come, invite yourself over. I'll make room. I'd love it. I promise.

Don't Ever Grow Up

A few days ago I took Charlotte to the park. She was so cute I couldn't believe it! I was taking photos of her while she tried to climb the steps of the big toy. There were two older girls on the big toy. My guess is they were probably in the 7-8 range. One girl was clearly the leader of the two. Right in front of me she asked the other girl, "Do you think that baby's cute?" Typed out that seems like a very innocent question, but let me tell you that girl was just inviting the other one to say, "No she's totally ugly." I was instantly furious! I just waited to see what would be said. The other girl was in a jam. She knew I could hear her, but I could also tell she didn't want the other girl to think badly of her. I wanted to say to the girls, "Of course she's cute! She's the cutest little girl that you'll ever see and don't you go saying otherwise!" I didn't. The second little girl decided that since none of the answers she could think of would be good she would just say nothing. Then the leader girl asked the other one, "Do you think her shoes are cute?" (The expected response was a resounding, "No.") Again no response. The leader girl finally said to the other, "You should go spy on them." This the follower obediently tried to do. It was at that moment I decided that we should just move. Charlotte is only one so she doesn't care what other little girls say about her, but I sure do. I got mad when I realized that the mom there watching the girls was just sitting there on her cell phone not even paying attention to what they were doing.

I don't want my precious little baby girl who is smart and beautiful and funny and awesome to go outside of our house. Inevitably she's going to run into this type of situation again and then she might be old enough to really understand what's being said. And then I might not be there to protect her. It makes me so sad and so mad at the same time. I can't wait to see her ride her first bike, or drive, or go on her first date, but then again, maybe I can.

Decisions, Decisions

Which class would you rather take?

The Art of Fresh Flower Arranging

or

Woodworking for Women

Carnivore

Today Charlotte had her iron tested. Surprisingly the most traumatic part of the whole ordeal for her was having to keep the Dora Bandaid on after the poke. Once I took it off she was fine. She was also mad that a stranger actually had to touch her to do the thing, but that's a whole different story. The results came back that she has GREAT iron levels. Then we were talking about her eating habits and what she will and wont eat. She's not a picky eater at all, so I'm especially grateful for that. (Now that I say this, she wont eat anything but graham crackers for a week.) Anyway, I realized that the reason her iron levels are so high is that she has not run into any type of meat that she doesn't like. In fact for most dishes she'll root around all the other stuff just to find the meat. Don't get me wrong, she eats a fair share of everything else, but her clear favorite in the food category is meat. Does anyone else think that's 100% strange?

A Great Weekend

Friday night Dan and I went out on a date. We went to Charlie Gitto's On the Hill. It's AWESOME! I loved the entire experience. I wore my new dress that I just received in the mail a few days ago and did my hair and make-up and felt really girly and pretty. Did I have to dress up? No. Did I enjoy every minute of it? Yes. Since we are swapping babysitting with another couple we decided we didn't have to rush home. To do something entertaining that didn't cost money we decided to go "window shopping" at the Home Depot. (You can all see which half of the night was for me and which half was for Dan, but I still enjoyed it.) It was kinda funny to walk through Home Depot all dressed up.

Saturday was the Grand South Grand home tour that we wanted to go to. Unfortunately we didn't go. Fortunately Dan did spend the day at school preparing for his test this coming weekend. Charlotte and I ran away from home, to our two doors down neighbors to sit and chat. Also, because Charlotte has been desperately wanting to meet their three dogs. She absolutely loves dogs. They have two little dogs and one big one. As soon as the dogs calmed down she got off my lap and started petting them. Sometimes whit her hands, sometimes with her head. It was super funny. Dan came home and we went to Lowe's to see about getting an estimate for the kitchen cabinets. Turns out the guy from Lowe's was inept. It took him almost 2 hours to get the cabinetry up on the computer and then the quote that he gave us was, oh, a good 4K higher than it should have been. We decided to give up on Lowe's and went to Home Depot, where the excellent service was done in about a half hour and the quote was 6K lower for the same merchandise. (I think we might be spending a lot of time at the Home Depot store in the next three years.)

Then Sunday was a glorious day! Sunny, warm, beautiful. After church we walked from our apartment to the house and looked around. Then we walked back. It was a great day for being outside, but I forgot sunscreen. Good thing it was in the late afternoon. You can be sure I didn't forget it today.

Big News

We got the house. Dan didn't go to bed last night until 1 AM. (He blamed it on the Dr. Pepper he drank, but I didn't mention to him that I drank about 1/4 of that Dr. Pepper in between all his sipping and I was out by 9:30.) He was thinking and planning and improvising how our kitchen would work best. I think he came up with a superb layout that I think will work really well. It's a whole lot of problem solving when you have a small space to work with, but I think his plan really maximized the space.

Now I can't wait until Dan's parents come out! It's gonna be so much fun to show them the new house. Also, Dan's sister is going to drop of his nephew for wrestling camp this early summer so she'll get to see it too! Plus, my dad's already starting to plan his trip out here.

Yesterday Charlotte recieved "Christmas in April" from Grandma Denise. She got new books, which she loves, a new dress, and most of all, a new dancing duck and a little tykes piano. Guess which two she loves the most? You guessed it, the two that make sound. Right now they're both still pretty cute, but I can see that these two presents will be both a blessing and a way to teach me patience. Thanks mom!

PS. We had an earthquake here early this morning. Here's how it went in our house:

Me: Is that storm shaking the bed? (There was a pretty big storm going outside. It was rattling the windows.)

Dan: No, go back to bed.

Jump to breakfast:

Me: Did our bed shake in the night?

Dan: No.

Turns out there was a 5.2 earthquake in southern Illinois.

Delayed Response

Sorry for the no posts lately. There were a number of factors why. The first being that Dan and I are trying to buy a house that we're really excited about. We put the offer in and I was going to wait until the offer came back to post anything (I don't want to jinx it), but the bank hasn't said anything about it yet. We're buying a house that was foreclosed on and apparently it isn't the bank's top priority. Go figure. Anyway, the house is awesome and a fun project for the next three years. The only big things that need to be done can get done during Dan's down time this summer. Plus, my dad and mom are so excited to come out and help. And Dan's parents are coming out for Memorial Day and they'll see the place. It's great to have such awesome support. Other than the biggies all the stuff is totally do-able projects that can be spread out over the next three years here. We're both pretty excited about the whole thing. (Dan keeps getting out his orange Home 1-2-3 book from Home Depot just to peruse.) I wish I had news to tell right now, but I don't. We put the offer in and now we just have to wait.

The other reason is that Charlotte was pretty sick last weekend and it scared the crap out of me. She had a fever that came in the afternoon every day for about three days. Then she was pretty dehydrated and would not eat or drink anything. We were super worried that we would have to take her to the hospital, but the amount of fluids we forced into her kept her at home. We were just both really worried about her and I didn't really have anything to say except, "My baby's sick and I'm so worried I might throw up."

And the last reason I didn't realize until a few days ago. For about two weeks I was walking around being totally angry at Dan and totally sad and frustrated. Dan is an amazing husband and he didn't do anything wrong so I never brought it up because I knew that it was unfair to be mad at him. Whenever he asked, "Are you OK?" I just said, "I'm super tired," which isn't a lie because I was also super tired. It wasn't until I was talking with my mom about it that she asked if I felt a little overwhelmed with everything and I just started to break down and cry. So I guess that was the answer to everything, feeling overwhelmed. After thinking about it all the rest of the day I figured it wasn't fair of me to walk around feeling this way without telling Dan. Plus, I figured I was in a situation that needed fixing, and he happens to be pretty good at fixing things. Turns out that was the best thing I could have done. It was hard to tell him because I feel very responsible about everything that happens in our home. He has never acted like the running of the house and the raising of our daughter is my responsibility alone, but that's how I felt. (Why do I take on more responsibility than I need to? Something to answer someday.) After I told him this he asked what exactly made me feel overwhelmed to see if that was a task that he could take from me. Turns out that there is no one task he can take completely away from me. What he did say he wanted to do was take some tasks away from me partially. So our new plan: when Dan comes home from school, after he unwinds a bit, he and Charlotte have time just the two of them where they go for a walk or go to Home Depot, or go, well, I guess it really doesn't matter where they go. I then will be home. Alone. For half an hour. We've done this the past two days and it has been amazing how much better I feel. I don't have to get anything done when they're gone, but if I want to I can be that much more productive.

And also, he's taking me out to dinner tomorrow night! We've got reservations, and someone to watch Charlotte and we're going to use the gift card my sister and brother-in-law got us for Christmas. I can't wait! I've already planned what I'm gonna wear. (I've also planned what Dan's gonna wear, but don't tell him that.)

Spoiled

I started yesterday. When it didn't happen yesterday I knew I needed to start earlier in the day. So today I started the moment he got home from school.

Right after he kisses Charlotte and me: "Brownies would be great."

Just before dinner: "There's not very much milk. You need to go get some."

After putting Charlotte to bed: "How about some chocolate cake?"

Sitting on the couch while watching TV: "Don't you think some goodies would be nice?"

And then came the rather unexpected clincher: "I need the ward phone directory. Would you get it from the car for me?"

The golden response: "Well, since I'll be in the car anyway I might as well go get us some goodies. You wanted chocolate cake right?"

He is so awesome.

The Up-shot

I feel like I've been complaining about my baby a lot this past week and it's really not giving the whole picture. I LOVE how much she's learning right now. She seems to have exploded in the growth and development this past week. Here are somethings she's learned:

• If you ask for a kiss she will lean in and say, "Mmmmmm-wah" right along with you. It started with her leaning in with a fully opened mouth, but then she figured out that we're not doing that so she adapted.
• She blows on her own hot food. It's so cute because she hasn't quite figured out the direction of her blowing. She'll do it just above the food. But she knows to test the food with her fingers and if it's too hot she'll blow on it.
• She knows jokes, well, toddler jokes. She thinks it's so funny to do something unusual with the items we use in our house every day. She uses the hamper and puts it over her head. Then we put it over both our heads and laugh and laugh.
• She understands pretty much everything we tell her. She doesn't always pay attention, but she understands what we're saying and that's so fun.
• She's figured out how to flush the toilet, which is pretty funny. She will walk up and just flush the toilet and then walk away.
• When I say, "Do you want to help me with the laundry?" She'll run to the door to the basement and wait for me to take her down. Then she'll help me turn on the light in the basement by pulling the string. She's also learned to shut the dryer door for me.

So I have actually been having loads of fun with my toddler too!

Hip and Urban

Today I had errands to run. Instead of going out of the city limits to a big shopping area I decided to see if I could get everything done in my own neighborhood/area. I totally got everything done without once going on the interstate! I felt so hip and urban walking down the busy road to get my stuff done. What's even better is that one of the houses we're looking at to buy is only a block and a half away from the street where I did all my errands today. I wouldn't even have to drive if I didn't want to. That's kinda cool.

Grawwwh!

Translation:

Charlotte is now off the pacifier. (For two whole days now) She's teething. She's got a cold. She wants things that she has no words to tell me. She's very VERY busy. She thinks she runs our house. (She so doesn't.) My brain might implode.

That's my excuse for posting photos only of our California trip.

There's loads more, but I'm not putting them on here (see above excuse).