I always hear, "If you want to have a good friend then you need to be a good friend." I have found that to be true more and more as I'm experiencing life. Mostly I realize that if I want to have social interaction I need to invite, I need to contact, and I need to go out of my way to meet with people. Most people don't really want to be the ones to do that. To be honest, I don't really want to be the one to do it either. In a perfect (read lazy) world everyone would call me up and invite me over. Turns out that would be pretty lame for everyone else.
Confession: I'm super slow at making friends. I feel like I've started my little group of close friends since we moved here. I have a few that I feel comfortable just calling up and asking what they're doing, but, honestly not many. Don't misunderstand, I love my little circle of close friends. And I'm super happy to know that they're there, but more to the point the women I feel closest to are the ones that really truly did call me up! My friend Mindy is awesome at this. Totally 100% awesome at being there for people. She has tons of friends. Perhaps I should be more like her. More giving, more willing to reach out. I decided this past week that I need to go beyond my comfort zone. Events at our last med wives lady's night were sort of.....illuminating as to my situation here. Really most of the women that I meet are pretty much in my same position. They are wives and they've moved away from their family and old support system. They need a new one just as much as I do. But in the back of my mind I'm thinking to myself, "But really, do they? Haven't most of them already found close friends? Would they really like it if I called and invited them over just to play scrabble? They're probably too busy."
If I want to be a good friend I have to go out of my comfort zone. Who really wants to do that? I sure don't. But what I don't want even more is to feel like there's nobody I could call just to say, "I have to escape my house! Can I come over there for a while?" Currently it would take a whole lot of courage to do that. No, not courage. Just a comfort level that I don't yet have. Comfortable knowing that the impostion I would have on the other person would be overlooked. I'd also really, really like to have a friend that would feel comfortable doing that with me. Come, invite yourself over. I'll make room. I'd love it. I promise.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
I can totally relate to this post. I just moved to the St. Louis area (st. peters) last month and know a couple people in my ward but that is about it. I am not that good at being the one to reach out to people. Before we moved here I worked full time. This whole stay at home mom is very different for me. If you would like to get together one day and meet up somewhere let me know! (I have a son around the same age as your daughter)
Mary Jo maryjovasquez@gmail.com
I think it's very revealing that you wonder if others actually want someone to play with! If you need someone to play with, it's very likely that the women you have met want that too.
I love the idea of inviting one or two people over for scrabble. I'd totally come!
Just set out some cookies, make some tea or koolaid and watch the kids play together.
I think your idea of keeping it simple is key.
If you plan a lovely tea, with muffins and perfect placesettings - others may be bashful about reciprocating. Hey, come over and play scrabble - or let's take the kids for a walk with the stollers is nice and low key.
You can do it!!
I just thought of another approach that seems likely for you...
Ring ring.
I just put a cake in the oven. I'm going to need someone to help me eat it when it's cool. Want to come over for a few minutes?
Mary jo-I'd love to meet up! I'll email you.
TRS-Mmmmm. Warm cake!
well i have a scrabble board too! so if you wanna play scrabble, my house is always open too!
Thanks Natalie, that means a lot!
Post a Comment