An Opportunity for Growth

Last week on my sister's Blogger to Blogger the topic of marriage came up and she talked a little about a misconception she had about marriage. Basically she said before marriage she was afraid that it would mean a loss of her strong independent nature. Turns out that she picked a wonderful man who supports her independence fully and it hasn't even been an issue for her.

This got me to thinking about how the opposite has really been true for me. I guess I must not have had much of a "strong independent nature." Before I got married I thought how nice it would be to be able to lean on someone else for a change. There were many things that I simply didn't have or do because I didn't want to go to the effort to figure it out for myself.

Then I married the most wonderful man and we had a baby. I knew he wanted to be a doctor and that would mean I would need to carry my fair share of the responsibilities, but I didn't realize it would make me solely responsible for a great many things to run smoothly in our home. He would do them if he had the time or physical resources to get them done, but he doesn't. They just landed squarely on my shoulders. That's not to say there aren't things that I truly do not even worry about because I know they're his responsibilities. I do get a chance to lean on him, it's just not in the administrative way I thought I would.

I think being married, if anything, has given me the opportunity to become more independent and confident in my abilities to figure things out. There are a great many times that I try and fail at a task that is important. If it were just about myself I'd let those things go, but now I have a husband and children depending on me. I need to get them done. We need health insurance, running water, heat, housing, cars that work (and are registered yuck), food, clothing and the myriad other tiny tasks that seem to fall in my lap. My husband knows that getting these things done isn't my favorite job and he appreciates all that I do for our family just as I appreciate all his efforts. It amazes me the things I know I can accomplish now that I never would have dared to try 5 years ago.