Lately I've been thinking a lot about the reaction I get when I tell people that I'm having my second child this close to my first, and, oh yeah, my husband's in his second year of medical school. Unless it's one of the many great people I think of as my medical school community, the reaction spans the spectrum from the look of shock, to bewilderment as to how I could actually do this, to, in one really unfortunate interaction, disgust.
I feel like the choices Daniel and I are making are helping us. Yes, our choices make our lives more difficult. They stretch us farther. Daniel's schooling is harder than if he were a single man. It's harder to be a wife to someone that simply can't always be there. I do have to find ways to be self reliant, and self sufficient. Although these stresses are hard to handle, they are our choice. We didn't stumble upon our life path right now. We sat down and planned each step we've taken so far.
Plus, although I've never trained for a marathon (and don't plan to) I've seen people close to me do it. They put calculated stress on their bodies and with that stress their bodies get stronger, leaner, faster, and more able to handle the extreme stress that a marathon puts on them. I feel that the calculated stress that we are putting on ourselves right now is helping to get our family stronger individually, and as a group. Do I think my husband will be a better doctor for it? Certainly I do. Do I think I will be a stronger, more confident, and more capable person for it? Of course. Do I think my children will grow from this experience? Yes. And you know what? I also think that our family will emerge from medical school and residency the better for our experiences during this time.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
What your family will have is the opportunity to go through these experiences together - they will be part of your shared history. There is that old quote to the effect of "that which doesn't kill you, makes you strong." Sometimes it will feel like that but I know Dan appreciates all you do to build your family and support him. I know you can live through it - Dan is living proof!
Really? People have been disgusted? That's strange.
While it's true that Dan is really busy with school, he still is SUCH an active parent in helping you.
I know husbands out there with 1/10the work on their plates who only do a tiny little share of the parenting/homelife responsibilities.
Next time someone questions your choices just say, "well, I have an exceptionally capable husband who handles it like a pro"
How awful to be made to feel you have to justify your decisions for a family.
My best friend had her two babies only a year and a half apart. Meaning... when they were born - not when they were concieved!
She had some medical issues that determined if she wanted more than one child she'd better do it sooner than later. And when the first one was 6 months old - she thought "I can do THIS"
Then while she was pregnant, the first baby started walking!!!
Sort of threw a wrench in her comfort level!
My other friend spaced them about like yours... and the older one was at least able to fetch diapers and pacifiers to help out.
Dan is one of the lucky med students who has a loving, supportive wife to come home to at the end of the day. As hard as it is to have to focus on a family and to study at the same time, I'm sure he appreciates having someone at home who is willing to help him out with "home life" stuff.
And quite honestly, I wouldn't want the pressure of being a single med student who has to spend time and energy dating, too.
Post a Comment