Monday, February 15, 2010

Endurance

About a month ago the woman who coordinates music for our church services asked me if I'd be willing to play a special musical number on my violin for the third Sunday of the month. I agreed happily. After having played the violin for so many years it seems a shame to me to not really have it be a part of my life. It is after all something that I really do love.

I decided that although I could play a song that I already had, I wanted to stretch myself and get something new. Nothing too hard though since I haven't really seriously played in years. I got a piece of music based on a hymn that I love and started practicing. I feel I have learned so much with this process.

Just opening my case reminds me of high school. I spent so very much of my day playing that violin during high school. At least three hours everyday. It is jarring to be so rusty and awkward with something that used to be so familiar. I have spots on the case that I have worn through the fabric and spots on the fingerboard that are worn where my hand shifted up and down. I can remember losing the small decorate pieces of wood on the tuning pegs. I feel like I am going through a treasure hunt of old memories. (I like to pick only the good ones though. Do you do that too?)

Now I can only practice for half an hour before my shoulder, arm and wrist start telling me they've had it. I picked an arrangement that at one time I could have easily played after practicing a couple of times and now I've spent weeks and I still don't feel quite comfortable with everything. Oh it will sound fine, but I want it to sound smooth, and relaxing, and wonderful. I want it to reflect how I feel when I think of the words of that song. I want it to sound like the glassy top of a lake the first thing in the morning.

I don't know if I can come up with anything deep in the meaning of this, but it has been a very touching process for me. Like coming home again.

5 comments:

dad said...

I love your violin, everything about it. All the lessons, the practice, the 100 days in a row award, it is a precious memory to me.

You may not realize how much I enjoyed your sister and you playing, but I loved it more than anything I have ever done.

Keep playing.

ps: How's the mandolin comong?

Maggie said...

The mandolin isn't coming. I want to take group lessons through the St. Louis Folk School, but it seems that everytime I get the money together they're in the middle of a semester or if a semester is beginning I'm out of money or if I happen to have money and a semester is beginning Dan's going to be starting a round with evening stuff going on. I have the mandolin on my list of someday.

Dan's mom said...

I'm glad you're getting the "nudge" to play - I know that I practice much more regularly when I have a committment to perform. Since Charlotte loves music, it will be great exposure for her. As I recall, she has her own critiques - "that's coming along" to "that's not coming along; maybe you should try something else."
Let me know about Folk School sign ups & maybe you can trade some babysitting if Dan has evening work. You shouldn't have to wait 20 years.....

Katie said...

I know exactly how you feel. Hearing violin music now brings tears of longing.

TRS said...

What a wonderful talent and gift!

There is another church that I attend when I can't drag myself out of bed in time for my regular Sunday Mass - and their choir regularly has 3-4 guitars, 3-4 violins and a about 20 singers.
The violins just sweep me away. So beautiful!!

My friend had put her violin down for years... like 20 years... then on her wedding day, surprised her groom and guests with a violin solo. We were eating dinner when we heard the strains... and were shocked to look up and see the bride playing!!
She'd been practicing in secret!