My husband and I had a short talk the other day. It went a little something like this:
Me: "So are we going to get each other Valentine's presents or not?" (Sort of a negative tone in my voice meaning that it would be ok if he said no.)
Him: "Oh, Umm...no."
Me: "I didn't figure we had the money to spend on that kind of thing."
Him: "Yeah."
That was the end of it. Or was it?
The more I thought about it the more I wanted a present. Not something huge, just maybe some flowers or something that says he loves me. Then I felt guilty because I wanted a present. We really don't have the money. I mean we could get by with spending a little, but it would probably be better spent on other frivilous things. Like food, and hot water.
So anyway the more I felt guilty the more I really secretly wanted a present. Then I thought that maybe he would be totally romantic and get me something anyway. (Katie's boyfriend is always doing that sort of thing for her! Maybe my husband will do that for me!) Then I came to reality and realized he's not really into presents. It isn't a big deal to him. He doesn't really care about me giving him a present, but he might just decide that I should get one. The more I thought about this idea the more I liked it. It lifted my spirits! I was loving him more already! Until I realized that although he may have spontaneously decided to get me a present for Valentine's before our talk, after there was no way he would do it. I realized that pretending he might do it would just set me up for failure and make him really mad because we had already agreed on no presents. So here I am, wanting a present, feeling guilty, and now depressed that my husband wont be so romantic and get me something anyway.
Yesterday I decided something that I consider very mature of me. I decided to stop all the fallderall and just tell him that I really do want a present, no matter how selfish it sounds. The conversation went like this.
Me: "I know we said no presents, but I actually would like something."
Him: "Ok"
Me: "I know we don't have a lot of money to spend so it can be really little. Like less than $5. Just so that its something. Do you want anything?"
Him: "Not really"
The differences between the two of us are rather amusing sometimes.
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2 comments:
that's good that you told him you want something. he should have realized by know that people in our family appreciate gifts...even if they don;t cost anything at all.
Congratulations! Many women drive themselves & their husbands crazy for years before they figure this out. Knowing yourself & your husband will make you both very happy.
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