The Marathon

I once saw this video of a woman running through the finish line of a marathon to win the big race. Only she wasn't running really. More like she was wobbling her way to the finish line. She kept willing her body to move forward even though it was clearly through with the whole thing. She would wobble and almost fall and then get back up. I think one time she did actually fall, but then picked herself up again. She ended up getting second (if memory serves) to another who came from pretty far behind. Even with having zero experience running the image has been burned onto my memory for years. She was just.so.close.

Today Dan got the email that said he matched. We find out on Thursday where. And also we have the last of the doors for the house drying in the basement waiting to be hung. And we're almost ready to paint the final bedroom upstairs. I feel like we are just.so.close.

And yet, my energy is flagging. Tensions are running a little higher between Dan and I than usual. I keep losing my cool with my kids. They are driving me crazy with fighting and with playing and all the talking (and screaming). When Dan isn't home it's like there's a 10 ft invisible rope attached to me and they can't possibly be any farther away. Sweet yes, but I'd really like to take a shower without having to negotiate a peace pact over the bathroom door. They are also being so cute with each other. I wish I could just stay positive more with them. I just want our positive momentum to bring us on home through this finish line. We really have some good momentum going on, but I feel like all of us in this house are hitting the end of our abilities to cope with this situation.

We may not be getting through graduation with flying colors and flags waving, but I'm sure I've watched races with that sort of ending and I can't remember a single one right now. Perhaps this ending (or beginning?) will be more memorable.