Filled with Love and Light

My voice is small and my reaction not earth moving, but I can't think about last Friday without tears.  Not that tears are a big deal around these parts.  It seems that since becoming Mom I cry at the drop of a hat. One thing that did blindside me was that pit in my stomach, the spot that all the sudden ached and hurt and I couldn't shake it.  I just couldn't.  I guess that's what happens when you're a mom and you are supposed to be keeping your kids safe and loved and protected and, and, and.  And then you realize that you can't do it all no matter how hard you try. 

Did you know that Charlotte's school had a bomb threat earlier in the week last week?  

And also one of the precious souls that died on Friday was named Charlotte?

And also that dropping my Charlotte off to school Friday morning wasn't our greatest moments?

I haven't told my kids about it, any of it.  And I don't plan to.  

Here's what I did with my kids instead:

 We made 3D train rice krispie treats because they've been wanting to and I have been putting it off.  What do you do with the baby while helping the other two and try not to consume your weight in sugar?  Turns out that for one day you don't worry about sugar consumption.  You let the baby try licorice and everyone is happy and loved.  Later that night, after putting Lee to bed, I let my kids stay up late to watch Christmas shows on TV.  My kids, who go to bed at 7:30 every night without exception, stayed up and snuggled me until 9.  I was the momma hen and they were my chicks and we soaked up the love all under the same quilt that grandma made for us.

This picture went straight to the fridge to remind all of us how much we love each other and how lucky we are to have time to show that to each other.

Charlotte brought this home from school on Friday.  She didn't have time to draw Lee before her teacher said she needed to stop.  In case you need translation it says, "Love is floating in the air."  And it has our family.

Then on Saturday, when Daddy got home, he was properly welcomed.  I think a few members of the family have been missing him a lot.

 We weren't sure what we were going to do on Saturday.  Dan told me he was, "up for anything" I wanted.  Then five minutes after starting an early dinner I turned around and saw this:

 I let him sleep until dinner was ready.  After dinner the kids got in their jammies and we took them to the Bluff valley light display.  We drove through slowly and let the kids have a turn to sit on Dad's lap and "drive" the van. 

 When we got home I discovered two new "ornaments" were on our tree:

We tried our very best to fill our weekend with family and love.  Because in the end that's the most important message I can ever send to my kids.