Conservationists

Saturday was D-day for the "lawn." I use that word very loosely since about 90% of our lawn is crab grass, 8% is broad leaf weed, and the remaining 2% is actually grass. We took a sample of our lawn to the Home Depot, where a very helpful garden expert informed us of that fact and that the best way to deal with it would be to roundup the entire thing, till it and then seed it. So that is our plan. While constructing our plan we also had to take into account what was already in the yard. Apparently at one time a gardener lived in our home that really liked to use bulbs. We have crocuses, tulips, daffodils, and blue bells, all of which were clearly located at one point in flower beds, which are now "lawn." Not wanting to spend any more money than we have to, and also not wanting to kill anything that still had a prayer of surviving we decided to transplant any and all flowers possible to two small beds. I did that Friday and Saturday afternoons.

So I weeded, and turned two areas in our backyard and dug up all the bulbs from the lawn on Friday and Saturday with Charlotte. Do you know how hard it is to weed with an 8 month pregnant belly in the way? I have never been so slow in my entire life! Charlotte also contributed to the slowness, but made the days much more enjoyable. She is an excellent and entertaining helper. She loves to see worms and always says, "I want to hold it." Even though if you get one even close to her she runs away. She also likes to give them baths with the watering can. By the way, our backyard is chock full of worms. I have never seen a yard so thoroughly wormy. She also loved to help me jump on the shovel when digging up the bulbs.

I decided to use this experience as an opportunity to teach her about plants and gardens and such so I told her about the different parts of the plants we were digging up. She really liked the new vocabulary, flowers, stems, leaves, bulbs, roots. Unfortunately she couldn't really remember the word for bulbs, so she decided to substitute the closest word in her current vocabulary. It's pretty funny to hear a little two year old say, "I want to hold the boobies! Let me have them."

I am so proud of our two little gardens right now I can't even believe it. I've taken photos of them just so I can remember them. In the first one we made I put daffodils, tulips, onion (I think), crocuses, and blue bells. After that one was full we still had more crocuses that we had dug up to save so we put those in the second garden along with the trumpet vines and pink ladies that were already there. Hopefully the boobies will all survive the move!

It's in the Genes

There are so many physical traits that I see in my daughter that remind me of my family and others that remind me of Daniel and his family. First off she has a small brown spot on the back of her elbow, not a freckle, just a birthmark. Dan has a rather large brown spot on his arm as well. Another trait that father and daughter share is that Dan has a mole above his left ear in his hair. Charlotte has a corresponding mole in her hair above her right ear.

Today though I'm not talking about physical traits. I'm talking about behavioral traits. When you see me out and about the town you'll notice that I will be walking in more of a side step fashion rather than straight ahead. This is because my daughter has picked up a behavioral trait from her maternal grandfather. Basically she will walk at exactly my same speed about 5 feet behind me. My dad has done this with our family all my life. When new people see our bunch they think we don't give him enough time to catch up, but what they don't realize is that if we stop to wait for him, he also figures it's time to stop and look around.

Charlotte does the exact same thing! Only it's harder to be with becacuse I can't really just turn my back and assume she's following me. I must therefore walk down the aisles of the grocery store sideways to keep an eye on her. If I do stop to wait for her she thinks it's time to stop and investigate whatever happens to catch her eye and then wanders off.

How is it that behavioral characteristics that she can't possibly have observed being haf a continent away from him have so clearly manifested themselves? I tried to get her to walk in front of me so then I can walk normally and still see her, or to walk with me, but no, 5 feet behind is her preferred mode of travel. The only time I've really been successful at getting her to walk with me is to scare the pants off her about the road and parking lots. Then, and only then, will she hold my hand and walk at my pace right along side me.

Kicking Myself

I went out to lunch today with a couple of friends. The food was lovely, the conversation therapeutic, and the atmosphere was relaxing. So then why am I so frustrated and tired? Because I did not plan well for my 2 year old. I should have known better. I blame this on the fact that I haven't taken her out to a sit down meal in so long I had forgotten that I needed to do extra planning on the front end. She's two! Just because it takes her 45 minutes to an hour to eat a stinking bowl of cereal in the morning doesn't mean she'll be willing to sit and listen to grown ups talk for that long! Of course she's going to get bored. She went to the bathroom a total of 4 times during the meal. (Which I think really concerned one of my friends that is looking into potty training in the not too distant future.) Mostly, I think, so that she could run in and out of every stall in the place. She ate very little food, a fact which vexed me to no end, but then wanted to eat all of my dessert. (Of course) Why didn't I just bring some stickers? Or a book or two to look at? Perhaps a small game to play? Then I could have relaxed just a little bit more and not spent the time exerting my efforts to keep her quiet and calm. Anyway, next time I'll remember.

Time out

I am not opposed to letting my child watch TV. In fact, if it weren't for the blessed man Walt Disney I fear I would never have been able to teach my child it's OK to have Mommy shower alone. I also love to hear my daughter sing the ABC's with the pig on Super Why. Lately though, it's been getting to be too much.

Last week was the breaking point. I remember slowing down from my cleaning long enough to look at her on Thursday and just being a little shaken by how plugged in she was to the TV. She wasn't even really being entertained, she was just totally vacant. I had been having this nagging feeling of how much TV had crept into her schedule lately and that I wanted to change that, then last week hit and we were done for. She watched that thing for HOURS without complaining. If that isn't slightly disturbing, I don't know what is.

My opinion of our situation is that not only is she connected to the TV, but I also use it as a crutch. Simply put, I turn on the TV when I don't want to take the time and effort to come up with or do something probably more fun and more productive with her. I'm being lazy.

And it stops now.

Today we did not turn the TV on once during her waking hours. (It's on now because Dan wants to watch the NCAA championship.) After tonight it's going to go into storage in the basement for a week. The way I figure it is that with the physical object completely out of the way the temptation to turn it on so much will be gone with it. Hopefully in that time I can establish a few routines or habits that are more productive and positive.

When I told Dan about my idea I was worried that he would think I'm being silly or taking this idea way too extreme. I was wrong though. His reaction was, "Well, I've got lots of stuff I am or should be doing anyway so I'll help you." It's great to have someone that supports me in my efforts.

So what do you think? How much TV is too much? Is there a time and place where TV watching is appropriate? Are there shows that you think are OK and perhaps educational? What would you rather do with your time?

I have realized that the answers to those questions change over time so I have to keep revisiting them as my family and my needs change. Now to come up with short positive activities to occupy our days...

Stifling her Creativity

Since I'm trying despirately to deep clean my entire house all at once I've had to also address the challenge of my daughter and her naturally creative and inquisitive spirit. I was feeling really bad yesterday because she spent a whole lot of the day on the sofa watching PBS kids. I usually try really hard to come up with stimulating activites, but there's only so much I can do at once.

When I woke up today with a hurt knee from walking upstairs to get the laundry and taking it to the basement to wash it and then hauling it back up I knew things needed to change. I figured that both of us would be happier today if I slowed down my pace with cleaning and tried to incorporate a little more interesting activites for her. So after I put the first load of laundry in we read books, then she took a bath, then things went downhill.

I decided that she could color pages that I could then use to make thank you notes to mail to her friends and family for her wonderful birthday presents. I had to leave in the middle of one to switch over the laundry. Not so bad right? I mean she was in the middle of coloring and covering a sheet of paper with stickers. She couldn't do anything too bad right? Wrong. I came back and she had retrieved her paints and spilled them all over the kitchen table and was attempting to clean them up when I returned. We were done making thank you cards.

Later, after having actually done her hair, I needed to switch over the loads again. I went upstairs to get the dirties and came down to see our recliner and the floor beneath it covered in water from the spray bottle I use on her hair. At least it's water right? Oh, that's what I thought too, until I realized the reason she sprayed the chair was because earlier she had gotten some of the paints (from the previous spill) on the chair. She was attempting to clean that mess up all by herself.

As I was trying to slice cheese and get out some crackers to eat with applesauce for a snack I appreciated the quiet that reigned in our house for a good two minutes. Then I came into the dining room to put the snack on the table. I found my daughter eagerly sitting at the table waiting for her snack. My heart was so happy with the angelic child sitting before me. Then I smelled the overwhelming smell of vicks vapo rub. She had taken the small can of baby vicks and smeared it all across her face, hands, and clothing. She says, "Smells good?" Yes darling, it smells like heaven.

So maybe sitting her in front of the TV makes me feel guilty, but at least I have only one mess at a time to deal with. I mean there's only so much stimulation that mommy can handle in one day!

A New Mattress

Charlotte has had a rash for a little over 6 weeks now. Lest you think I'm a neglectful mother, I have now visited the doctor (which she actually sees a family nurse practitioner) a total of three times about this very problem. When the rash first started it wasn't that big a deal. She thought it was probably just dry skin. So I started slathering on lotion. Then I tried Aquaphor. That didn't work and the rash got worse spreading across her whole stomach and chest.

On the second visit to the office her FNP thought it was probably a skin sensitivity to something. She gave us an Rx to help with the itching and hydrocortizone cream to use sparingly and told us to put Vaseline on the effected area at least twice a day. I went home, bought new expensive laundry detergent, new hypoallergenic soap, washed everything that touches her body and started the regimen of medicines that the doctor gave us. After a week of this I realized it wasn't working because the rash spread from her front to her back up her neck, down her arms, and to the palms of her hands. Also, it got really red. And she got mad at me every time I tried to get her to stop itching it.

So enough is enough right? Yesterday I went back into the office and saw not only her FNP, but also the pediatrician on staff there. My mind had been going crazy for a few days about what could possibly be causing this. Is there a virus? Is she going to be allergic to something that she will never be able to eat/touch/breathe again? Does she have some other immunity issue? Never, did I envision what they told me she could possibly have.

Scabies.

Gross.

So after that diagnosis and 2 new Rx, I called my OB and got the Rx for myself and my husband (it's very contagious in families). I proceeded to spend the rest of the afternoon being freaked out and educated about this. Side note: For the mommies of any of Charlotte's little friends, it's spread through prolonged skin to skin contact ie. cuddling and snuggling. I don't really think anyone else has a serious threat of getting this stuff.

Now I have to spend the next two days bagging up materials that Charlotte has cuddled with and putting them in the basement. Rolling up the rugs and putting them away, vacuuming all other carpet, and washing, washing, washing all the clothing, linens, and bedding in our home. It only takes 10 mites to have this start all over again so you can imagine how meticulous I'm being about this. I don't want to have to do this again with a 2 year old and a newborn.

On the plus side, at least I'll have my house cleaned and ready for the baby to come. And also, we're throwing away the mattresses we got with Charlotte's bed and getting new ones. I'm almost positive that's where the mites came from. This seems to be the kick in the butt I needed to get things organized. It's easy to organize when everything you have needs to be removed and cleaned anyway.

Wait, when did that happen?

I took a vacation day Thursday. Well, actually I took a day off from being Mommy and went and worked. Well, actually I went in to Dan's school and spent the day being a standardized patient for 3rd year med students to practice on. So I spent the day pretending to have some complications in my pregnancy. And I got paid for it! It was actually quite an enjoyable and eye opening day. I would do it again in a heartbeat if the next time they were doing it weren't in 6 weeks and by that point I hope to no longer be pregnant.

Which brings me to the point, sort of, first let me say that as a standardized patient I was supposed to be measuring 4 weeks bigger than my diagnosed due date. I don't know why, but saying this over and over again all day made me realize that this baby boy is really going to be out soon! I think it must be that if I were actually four weeks ahead of what I thought, my baby could be born and not really considered early in any way. Which makes me realize that I have a boat load of things that I wanted to "get done before the baby comes" that really wont be getting done.

Oh well, I've become accustomed to shifting my expectations of myself in the past two years. Other words that have been redefined for me: goal, success, productivity. I've come to realize that so long as my children (can you believe that I put down the plural form there?) are healthy, fed, clean, and happy I'm doing good. I feel productive when I am teaching my daughter something. The time I get to work on my projects no longer spans a whole afternoon. I get small increments of time here and there, but that doesn't mean I'm not getting things done. My goals are a lot less visible, not only to others, but also to myself. Which makes counting successes much, much more difficult.

Secondly, and only related in the fact that it has to do with my experience this past week, I have found out how difficult it can be to take a history of a patient, listen to their problems, and analyze the situation. Being the patient I knew all the questions the student doctors were supposed to be asking and what they were supposed to be looking for and how they were supposed to be doing it and I realized that it's not really all that clear looking at the situation from their end of the map. I ended up wishing that I could have guided them. Or at the very least, acted as though I would act on presenting myself in the ER. My mouth would be going a mile a minute telling the doctor anything and everything I could think of. As a standardized patient I had to only give responses to questions they would ask. And I realized that sometimes, even though they wrote down my answers, they didn't actually listen to them. They would end up asking me the same question three or four times. If I had a doctor that did that in the ER I would be nervous, very nervous. Unfortunately, the way the system is set up now I couldn't really give them what I would appreciate as meaningful feedback. I just hope that through repetition they get more comfortable with what will be expected of them when they are residents.

And Now You're Two

Yes, Wednesday was Charlotte's second birthday. An event which I decided to celebrate by inviting the families of all her little friends over for a small party last Saturday. Because it was so close to my birthday I figured I deserved to have some adults added into the mix. It was pretty fun. I took photos, and videos and all that and have yet to get the motivation to download them to the computer. Then we had our traditional birthday breakfast on her birthday complete with pancake cake and family gifts. After she opened her presents she said, "cake? friends over?" She now thinks that she gets cake and a party just about every day.

Oddly enough one of her favorite presents was a Disney ruler with kitties on it. She carries it around with her and often puts it into the duffel bag that her grandparents gave her along with her baby doll and dog. Apparently the duffel bag is now some sort of crib. I told my mom, the one that gave her the ruler, about the odd attachment and she said, "I knew it! You always loved rulers." To which I think, rulers? really? Very, very strange.

Another discovery she has made is the satisfying sound and feeling of placing a completely in tact goldfish cracker on the ground and then carefully crunching it under her foot. Sometimes in reckless abandon, other times slowly and carefully. I think the real thrill she must feel comes from the liquid that starts to come out of her mothers ears when, upon hearing yet another goldfish smashed into the ground, she gets so mad her brain melts out of her head. That's what I think anyway.

My favorite phrases she has started to say are, "Oh my dosh!" and "Darn it!" because not only does she pronounce them so funny, but she also knows the appropriate times in which to say them.

They're Ba-ack

There are so many things I want to write about right now that I'm having a hard time keeping up. Mostly they're the "I don't want to forget this" type things so probably I should put priority on writing them down, but today I have a more pressing issue.

Birds.

When we bought our house and moved in last late spring a bird had built her nest in the beautiful stained glass porch light fixture. Since it was pretty late in the season when we realized why the light was so dark we didn't touch it, but waited for her little birds to hatch. Turns out we were too late on the up take and either all the viable eggs had already hatched or we cooked all her eggs. We couldn't tell when we finally got up there and cleaned all that nasty out. (And when I say "we" I really mean Dan, because eww.)

A few days ago I noticed that the fixture was hanging crooked and thought the wind must have blown it funky. Then this morning I found the culprit. The birds are back. Mommy and Daddy are busily building their nest and they've not been neat about it either. Also, they're really bold. I went out onto the porch and tried to yell at them to scare them away and they just stayed there looking at me like, "Whatcha gonna do 'bout it lady?"

So I'll tell you what I'm going to do about it. I'm going to huff and I'm going to puff and I'm going to pass this job off onto my husband. I hope they haven't yet laid their eggs because I really don't want to go all spring without a porch light. We care about animals, but not that much.

Eat Your Heart Out

While my sister is whiling away the afternoon in her office, I'm outside working in the 75 degree weather. Yes, I'm trying to make you jealous Katie, that's what you get for going to Disney world in the middle of February. I've already told Mom all about it and she was sad too, so there! Hahahahahahahahahahahah! I filled up Charlotte's little pool this morning so that the temperature will be just above turning her lips blue when she wakes up this afternoon.

Growing up as my mom made us work in the garden it seemed every chance she got I never realized how much fun it is when you have your own garden. You mean I can do whatever I want? Oh the freedom! Well, I can't really do whatever I want because we've gotta keep an eye on the budget and also Daniel does get a say, but we are masters of our domain! Should we put in a bleeding heart next to the fence? Of course we should! Also, I didn't realize how much I know about gardening. I guess this is because I was always compairing myself to my mom who knows so very very much. I wouldn't say I'm expert, but I know enough to feel confident to start this project out. Oh this is going to be fun!

Things I've discovered today about my yard:

• Previous owners tried their best to make a raised bed right where we want to put a kitchen garden. They filled it with gravel.
• It's a lot easier than you would think to dig up gravel.
• For every Home Depot bucket sized load of gravel/dirt mix I dig up we have a good 4 earthworms. This makes my little heart sing as it means our dirt is going to be good.
• It also makes the Robbin's little heart sing. He was right out there as close as he dared get to me trying to eat every single worm he saw.
• We have Peonies (I think) poking their little red/green shoots up next to our fence.
• We have tulips.

That's all for now because we can't actually plant anything until we prepare the ground first. That, as it turns out, is going to take a lot of time and effort. Luckily, even at 32 weeks of pregnancy I can still use a shovel. Don't worry, I set the alarm on my cell phone to remind me to sit down in the shade and drink some water every 30 minutes. I've also reapplied sunscreen twice today. Don't you just wish you were me today?

Spring Break '09

Daniel has Spring Break this week! The last Spring Break he will have, EVER. Last year we took spring break to drive from St. Louis to Grand Junction, CO to see his Grandpa. It was a great spring break so when we decided that this year we weren't going to go anywhere for vacation I was a little sad. When we further decided to be grown ups and take this time to work on our house instead of doing fun stuff here in town I was also a little sad. Then I found out that it will probably be raining here Thursday (my birthday). Oh well.

Then Saturday hit and we were off buzzing around like little worker bees. When Daniel is home I can achieve about 4x the ammount of work. I think this is because Charlotte floats between the two of us so neither one has to entertain her all the time. Probably this frustrates Dan because of his lowered productivity, but I find it amazing. I realized that I was so happy with this Saturday because we were doing exactly what I had grown up doing. Saturday mornings weren't spent being lazy or playing in our house. I clearly remember my mom saying to me, "I let you sleep in until 9!" As if sleeping in until 9 were a complete luxury. Then we would all work. We would clean the house or garden outside, whichever the weather permitted. Then if we were lucky we made it to costco for lunchtime. I thought all families did this growing up, but apparently I'm wrong.

What I didn't realize was that when I grew up this tradition would be so engrained in me. I've had a vague sense of purposeless Saturdays for a while now. What do I do? How do I fill the day for Charlotte and me? (Dan usually spends Saturdays studying.) This feeling came mostly, I thought, because I didn't want to take Charlotte anywhere with big crowds of people. Why go to the Zoo on Saturday mid morning to fight the crowds, when you could go Monday right when the gates open? Then you can rush to the carousel and ride for free for the first hour. Anyway, this Saturday I realized as we all worked together, (yes, Charlotte helped me "clean" the tub) that this felt right. This is what family does on Saturday mornings. And I was happy.

Fast forward to this morning, or last night really. After Charlotte was asleep last night Dan and I sat down together and sketched out our rough game plan for this week. I woke up this morning with purpose and it's feeling great. It feels like Saturday again because he's home working along side us. We just finished eating lunch together. And we ate breakfast together. And we're going to eat dinner together. How fun is this week going to be?! I can't wait to find out.

Large and In Charge....Mostly

Pregnancy is the one time in life where being big is celebrated. At least it is for me. My husband would say that I'm constantly complaining about my size, which is true, but mostly it's the discomforts of being this big that I don't like. The feeling of dragging all this extra weight up the stairs yet again to get my daughter to the toilet, to get the doggie that we left downstairs, or to answer the phone, really anything makes me wish we lived in a single story house. Or at least one with a bathroom on the main floor. But that's not what I'm talking about.

What I mean when I say that I celebrate how big I am right now (which I totally mean to get a photo of, but I'm waiting for a day in which I've actually done my makeup and hair) is that when I'm big and round it also means that my baby is big and healthy and strong. I feel that yes, it is an inconvience to be this large, and having all my joints hurt, and having to pee all the time, but also if this is what it takes to get my little one here then I'll do it. The third trimester really is a stinker no matter how you slice it. But that doesn't matter so much to me anymore because I love him already.

Cloud Nine

A few weeks ago Daniel yelled down the stairs, "Hey the OB interest group needs a pregnant woman to volunteer to let them learn how to do ultrasounds. You in?" So I said sure I'd do it. What pregnant woman wouldn't want another peek at her little one? So last night he came home and I slipped out the front door while the two of them went out the back to play in our backyard. (Turns out that play means Charlotte spilling water out of the watering can while Daddy picks up the loads of trash that the squirrels bring into the backyard.)

I had so much fun! The doctor teaching all the students about the ultrasound machine is actually the head of the OB department for the school. He is very knowledgable and I learned so much more about what the ultrasound tech is actually looking for when she says my baby is measuring just fine. The doctor kept saying, "Now find the heart. Do you see the heart? See how it's symmetric? That's exactly how it should be." "Do you see that long femur? That's precisely how it should look." "There's the bladder, the kidneys, the umbilical cord." I got to hear for a little over an hour last night about how healthy and normal and perfect my child is! Also, that he's clearly a he and proud to show everyone. It was really fun to have first, second and third year medical students practice on me too because they were as excited to find the different parts of my baby as I was to see them. You just don't see that excitement with someone that does it all day every day.

Riding on the joy from last night Charlotte and I went to the botanical gardens with some friends today. It is a beautifully sunny day with just a bit of chill left in the air. The kids ran and played and generally loved the whole experience. Also, when I looked in the flower beds I saw the bulb plants poking up through the dirt and they had planted a few early spring flowers. I don't know what it is about spring flowers, but they just fill me with a wonderful sense of life beginning anew. Leaving the gardens was hard, but then while walking in from the car I noticed that I too have flowers growing in my backyard! That's a double whammy of goodness because they are just coming all on their own. We have yet to have any time or resources to do anything but keep our yard clean so any flowers that come up are just that more enjoyable. Even if I did realize that they are coming up right where our "lawn" should be.

It's spring and the world and I are full of life! I feel so great today.

I'm IT

My aunt tagged me on this one so I thought I'd participate. Here's the rules: go to your computer and open the fourth photo folder, then click on the fourth photo and post it. Put in a little explination of what it is and then tag four other people. This one's pretty simple, which is why I thought I'd do it.

Wow! What a lame photo! I was going to cheat and put a not lame photo up, but then I'd be cheating. So what you're all looking at is a photo I took of when I displayed all of Charlotte's things in her crib before she was born. There they all are, waiting for her arrival. I like it now because I can look and see each of the things she wore or used and how cute she was in them. I laugh now because the crib is now just piles of baby Greg's clothing. You might ask, am I displaying them with the same pride? Umm....no. I feel pretty good that they're even folded and clean and not just dumped in there. When I took some of the old onsies out of storage there were yellow spots where spit up that I swear I cleaned before storing them had left little yellow stains. Don't worry Biz got them all out.

I tag: Mindy, Heather (Dan's sister), Heather (the one in Utah), and I don't know if anyone else with a blog regularly reads this (besides my sister who was already tagged) so I guess I don't have a fourth person. If you do read regularly and have a blog let me know. (TRS-I'm not sure how regular you are or if you'd be interested, but you would be my fourth if I thought you'd read this post.)

Here's a not lame photo for your viewing pleasure. Charlotte and me outside the house of Daniel Boone last October:

Light My Fire

I have a hard time knowing what and how much to post about my husband on this blog since it's not his and he's a fairly private person. Charlotte doesn't care so I can post pretty much whatever I want, for now anyway, but I always have to sit and think long and hard before mentioning Daniel on this thing. But I decided that he wont care if I share parts of our conversation last night on here.

He came home from school yesterday all fired up about a lunch lecture he'd attended. It was about physicians' rights and responsibilities and how or when the government should be involved. He shared with me all the things that the lawyer presented and how doctors are, as a whole, not very politically involved which is probably not a great thing for them or their patients in the long run. He was also saying all his opinions about it and what some of the other students had been talking about and what he thinks needs to happen with regard to health care in the US.

He was more passionate and excited telling me about this one lecture than he has ever been telling me about any of the classes he's had so far in med school. That is not to say that he's not passionate about learning medicine. I think he doesn't share as much of his school stuff with me because he knows that after about 5 minutes of it my mind starts to wander. Not that I don't find it interesting, I just don't really need to know the depth with which he explains things most of the time.

Noticing his passion coming out (a rare thing indeed) I told him, "It sounds like this is something you're passionate about. If you wanted to pursue this I'd support you in it." He said, "Really? I've thought about it before, but I figured you'd think it was silly." To which I said that he'd really need to work on not calling people that disagreed with him idiots, but other than that he has some pretty great ideas.

The problem with him pursuing this passion probably explains why physicians in general aren't very politically active. You have to sacrifice so much of your time and yourself to become a doctor and you chose something that you really love to do. So then you'd have to sacrifice reaping some of the benefits of all your hard work to go and start something completely new. As Daniel put it, "Do I want to be an orthopedic surgeon or work to defend physicians' autonomy?" Plus, he has no desire to become an MD JD. (I think the initials for lawyer are JD anyway.) To which I replied, "Life is long. You don't have to do everything at once. I bet your dad never thought he'd be acting CEO of anything when he finished his residency, but here he is. Being both a urologist and a CEO."

I don't know if anything will ever come of this passion of his other than just yelling at the TV when the news comes on about health care in our country, but it was kind of fun to see him so excited.

Growing Up

First I had a little newborn.

Then I had a chubby little baby.

Then I had a plump tiny toddler.

Now I'm starting to get a skinny kid.

The first day of kindergarten is going to be rough on this momma. This all comes up because I decided to look through all of Charlotte's old clothing in the basement and sort out the gender neutral stuff. There was some, but let me tell you I sure did like to dress her in pink and ruffles! No question she was a girl by those totes. Anyway, as I looked through the tiny dresses and sunday shoes, the frilly little sun outfits and the little swimsuits I started to yearn for her to be that little again! How did it go so fast? It's been two years, but still she's so new and awesome to me every day!

One of my friends says she has a niece who had curly hair like Charlotte's until she turned four and then it grew in thick and straight. I asked her one day if the girl's mom (my friend's sister) missed the curls. I absolutely adore my daughter's curls. Now though I'm thinking that she might miss them, but honestly there's probably too many amazing things about her daughter now that she can't miss the curls too much. It's like that with Charlotte. I don't really have time on a day to day basis to miss my little cuddly bear because I'm so awed by the ingenuity, beauty, and humor I am faced with today. She is so awesome!

But looking at her baby stuff I can't help but remember that she was so awesome too.

Daydreams

Lately I've been having this recurring daydream so I thought I'd share it. In my daydream Dan has time off of everything, school, house, church, etc. We are able to have Charlotte stay with someone (this usually oscillates between either set of grandparents) and I'm not pregnant. Sometimes in my dream I've already had Greg and he's with Charlotte, but sometimes he's just inexplicably taken care of. Either way I'm not pregnant. Then Dan and I have enough money to go on a week long vacation together. The destination changes each time, but here's what doesn't. We take so much time just sleeping. We lay in bed until noon one day. We, of course, go out and see the sights of the different places we visit in my daydream, but mostly we just stay together and sleep, and read and enjoy each other's company. We take no thought of what to eat because we have a budget to just go buy food. There is also no wrangling children into and out of clothing, on and off the potty, brushing teeth ("stop biting the toothbrush!"), or putting them to bed. Yesterday I was thinking about this I had to laugh at myself to know that my dream vacation right now involves a whole lot of doing nothing. Don't get me wrong, I love my children. Charlotte is so wonderful and I enjoy fully being her mother. I feel like I'm starting to bond with baby Greg too so that's great. But also, right now, a little vacation wouldn't hurt anything either.

And in case you didn't know, my sister, brother-in-law, mom and dad are in Disneyworld this week and my mother-in-law, and father-in-law are in Hawaii.

Hopeless Romantic

My husband is in a men's basketball league that plays games every Saturday. Every Saturday that, except for this coming Saturday, that is. I noticed this a couple of weeks ago, but didn't think to mention it to him. Then, during half time of the game last Saturday the announcer said, "Well men, there wont be any games next Saturday, so take your wife out and do something nice for her." Assuming he meant for Valentine's Day I thought this was a nice thing for them to do.

Later that afternoon, my husband stood looking at his list of house projects to complete and our calendar of when we might do them and said, "Oh! It looks like we don't have a game next weekend. I wonder why that is?" To which I replied, "Really? You seriously don't know why that would be?" The blank look on his face made me realize that he wasn't joking as I had though. So I walked over to the calendar, pointed to the double underlined "Valentine's Day" on the calendar and said, "You seriously don't know why they aren't having games next Saturday? You didn't hear the announcer say, 'Well men, there wont be any games next Saturday, so take your wife out and do something nice for her.'?" To which he replies, "All I heard was, 'there wont be any games next Saturday.'"

I was laughing about this to myself as I emptied the dishwasher this morning. I'm married to a man that has me help tile a bathroom for our anniversary and has no clue about Valentine's Day. He hasn't once bought me flowers. But you know what he has done? He was the one that filled the dishwasher up and ran it last night, and the night before that, and the one before that too. In fact he's been quietly doing so much stuff around our house since I started this pregnancy I'm overwhelmed by his love for me. So no, I wont be getting any little gifts to celebrate this coming Saturday, but that's ok because he truly is my Valentine.

The Squirrel Whisperer

Remember when Charlotte was persistent enough to get a pigeon to let her touch it in our backyard? Today she struck again, only this time with a squirrel. Or at least she would have if I had let her. Knowing her great ability to get otherwise wild animals to let her go near them I grabbed her away just before she actually touched it.

In case you didn't guess today is an unbelievably beautiful day in St. Louis. It's about 60 degrees out, but it has a light wind that makes it feel chillier. I decided to skip our usual Friday activities and packed a lunch and headed for the park. We played there from about 11:30 to 1:30 and I had to pull Charlotte off the slide to get her to go home. Then she blissfully fell asleep on the way home. After I pulled into the parking pad behind our house I turned around to see her little face, smeared with dirt and blackberry jelly asleep and smiling. It was awesome.

But back to the squirrel. This was an usually brave squirrel that saw we were eating a picnic lunch. It saw our bright orange carrot sticks and came to just the other side of the playground fence which is about 6 feet away. Charlotte had long since decided to not eat her carrot stick so I decided I'd let the squirrel have it. I threw it away from us and then asked Charlotte to watch the squirrel. Sure enough not two minutes had passed before the squirrel decided that he wanted that carrot stick more than he was scared of us. He climbed through the fence grabbed the stick then ran away. Charlotte was thrilled. She decided she wanted another carrot stick and ate hers, "just like the squirrel." I was thrilled. Then the squirrel came back. (This is where I became not so thrilled.) I let Charlotte go out and give the squirrel a quarter of a carrot stick. She went out as close as it would let her go (saying, "come mere squirrel, come mere) then dropped it and walked away a few steps. It took the carrot then ran away, and came immediately back. That squirrel knows a sucker when he sees one. In the end I let Charlotte give the squirrel about one and a half carrot sticks until I realized that the squirrel would probably just take the next piece right out of her hand! Which to my mind screamed danger. So then I decided we were done with our picnic. I've got to watch out for this one and the wild animals!

Take 2

Warning: This post is entirely about my pregnancy and probably wont interest anyone but myself, but I needed a place to keep it so there you go.

Before I forget what this pregnancy has been like so far I thought I'd write down a few of the differences I've noticed between Charlotte and Greg. Although I realize that I've forgotten much about my pregnancy with Charlotte already, so maybe this comparison isn't fair. I'm doing it anyway.

First, I haven't taken any nausea medication in about a month. That's awesome. I feel like I have 10x the energy when I don't have to take it so I'm loving that.

Second, Greg doesn't move as much as Charlotte did. I kept thinking that I wasn't feeling it because I remember how Charlotte moved at the end of my pregnancy and I'm not there yet, but I think it's safe to say by now that he's just not as active. He does move. I'm not worried or anything, it's just that his movements aren't so frequent, and when they do happen they don't happen for all that long. I wonder if I think this because I'm busier than I was during the last pregnancy, but that's the observation I've had. Also, he moves very low, down in the pelvis region. That's not to say that he's not taking up more than his fair share of my insides at the moment. He seems plenty big, he just doesn't move up top all that much.

Third, my joints hurt. I will wake up 2-3 times each night because my hips, knees, shoulders and wrists just ache. I've asked other women about it and none so far have told me they experienced the same thing. I'm going to have to bring this up to my doctor when I go in Thursday (has it already been a month?). This pain did not happen with Charlotte.

On the other side, my leg hasn't gone numb like it did with Charlotte. I keep waiting for that to happen, but it just isn't.

Also, I think I'm gaining weight at a more steady pace. Last time with such bad nausea I didn't gain anything for so long then I practically exploded. This time I have been surely and steadily gaining weight. This makes me wonder if I would have gotten the stretch marks last time if I had been able to grow like this. Although the stretch marks that had faded a bit are now the bright angry purple of stretching so perhaps not.

That's all I can think of for now. I'll probably add more to this list later.

What you Really Want

Why is it that whenever I decide something that's worthwhile for me to do and save up for I suddenly find 3 or 4 others that I'd like?

A few weeks ago our bishop encouraged every member of the congregation to join an organization that is NOT church related. The point was that to be a good member of the community you have to actually participate in the community and this was a good way to do it. Plus, he figured that most people already have something they'd like to join, but don't because their too busy or something else always comes up. So no excuses. Get involved. I have no idea why, but my mind immediately jumped to taking mandolin lessons at the Folk School of St. Louis. I found this school last year and was really excited about it, but one thing lead to another and it wasn't really a necessity and I didn't have a whole lot of time. I signed up for their emails though and have been receiving them every now and then for a while. I looked them up and tuition for a class for a semester is only $135. That's really cheap. So I figured I should save my money up for next semester. Then I realized that next semester probably runs into my due date. And the semester after that Dan will be in 3rd year and there goes any chance I have of being able to depend on him in the evenings.

Yesterday though, I found out that my husband might be going to Honduras for a week in February and that Southwest is having a heck of a deal on tickets for the next couple of days. I could fly round trip to Denver for $160. Very cheap and it would be a great way to have a vacation when my husband will be gone anyway.

Then today we had an unusually warm day. It was about 50 degrees and sunny. I was not going to miss this opportunity to take Charlotte to the park as it's supposed to be in the 20s by Saturday. So we packed up and walked out. This made me realize that if I ever want to get any running/jogging/walking in that actually raises my heart rate I'm really going to have to invest in a double jogging stroller. Those things aren't cheap.

So now I've got three things that I really would like to spend money on. Three very valid things. I've now got to make the decision what I want to put my money towards. And the whole time I'm trying to decide my mind keeps saying to me none of these things are necessities. You should just be grateful that you even have the opportunity for any of them! This is a ridiculous thing to even spend time worrying over. You have so very much in this life! Don't spend that money at all. You should save it in case of an emergency! And I'm right too. I should just save this money because none of these things are necessities.

Then again....

This one's for you Mom

My mom wanted to see a photo of my growing proportions so here it is:

Me at 25 weeks pregnant.

And here are the two baby jackets I've just completed. They were just too cute not to share with the world. (I can't take all the credit on that one. Mindy chose the fabric for each of them.)

It's Been A While

Because it's been a while and because I know you all are longing to see them, I thought I'd post some photos! Yeah!

I've entitled this first one: cream cheese is best enjoyed when on the bagel, chin, and nose.

This next one is just cute so I thought I'd include it.

When Charlotte was born I realized I had a weird tendency to take photos of my husband and daughter asleep. When you see this photo though you'll know why I do it. This is after 2 days of pink eye and sleep exhaustion.

And finally, Internet, meet Suzie. She not only prefers to drink her water straight from the faucet....

but also nap in the sink.

Just Can't Stop

Ever since Christmas I have found a new deep well of energy inside of me. It has been great. I've accomplished loads of tiny tasks I've been meaning to do for a while. That baby girl jacket? Sewn. Those bathroom curtains? Hemmed. Charlotte's big girl bed? Purchased, cleaned, and put together. (Except for that part where we have to buy bolts that the previous owner didn't include. They don't effect the functionality of the bed.) Litter box problem? Solved. Loads and loads of I have a sick child laundry? Cleaned, folded, and put away.

Today I thought I'd finally finish the baby boy jacket that's been on my list for a while. The only problem, I couldn't find all my supplies. I waded through the mess of my sewing room for about half an hour just to find the red thread I wanted to use as an accent. So then I decided that today was not my day to sew. Today was my day to move all the stinking books out of the sewing room closet to the empty bookshelf downstairs in the living room. So I did that. But could I stop there? No. I was addicted to getting things done. It's a sickness I blame on my mother who has been known to almost cripple herself doing "just a bit more" weeding in the garden. Anyway, compelled like only a crazy pregnant lady can be I went through all the miscellaneous stuff we've been keeping in that room since we moved in. If you'll remember at that point it was named the everything room. I put all the stuff we really didn't need to keep in two big garbage bags and moved everything else to our bedroom. The idea was, that way when I moved the stuff back into the room I would organize it. Then I would finally have a room dedicated to sewing. Unfortunately by the time I got all the things out of the sewing room and the carpet vacuumed it was time to make dinner. Then it was time to eat dinner.

So now I have one bookshelf completed and a sewing room cleaned, but a bedroom full of unorganized mess. I have also run out of energy. Maybe Dan and I will just have to sleep around all that stuff for one night.

An STD can ruin a whole weekend

About three hours after going to playgroup yesterday Charlotte's eye started to water. It leaked and leaked and leaked, but didn't seem to bother her so I thought nothing of it. Then this morning the leaking had a few eye boogers in it. Dan said, "It's just a clogged tear duct. Don't worry about it. It'll go away." I totally (well, sort of) believed that right up until the watering started to look clouded instead of clear tears. Also, the skin around her eye was a bit pink. I called the doctor's office and they said to come in today. I did that. I figured worst case scenario she has pink eye. That'll suck, but you give them some drops and then they're fine. As we were sitting in the waiting room to see her doctor her other eye started to get gummy tears in it too. Turns out that she has an atypical presentation of pink eye. Not only that, but they had to swab the gunk to culture to make sure that what she has isn't Chlamydia. When the doctor told me that I thought to myself, "How the hell did my two year old get Chlamydia?!" Anyway, because her case isn't a classic case we don't actually get eye drops. We get eye ointment. That I have to put on her every four hours while she's awake. For a whole week. And on top of all that she can't go around other kids for 4 days.

So now we're stuck at home for four days putting basically vaseline in her eyes every four hours. Tomorrow is supposed to be Music Makers, which is Charlotte's favorite activity of the entire week. She wakes up every morning asking to go to "Makers?" and now I'm going to have to tell her that no, we can't go. We have to stay at home. This is going to be awesome.

Now Blow

This morning I was folding and putting away laundry in our bedroom. Charlotte was playing with her new baby doll and the cat was sleeping on the bed. I was pretty much not paying attention to either of them. That is until the cat came up to me wanting to be petted. Then Charlotte appeared out of nowhere with some toilet paper in her hand. She held it up to Suzie's nose and said, "Now blow," and then ran to the toilet and flushed it. It's the hilarious things like that, that make me want to keep her just as she is today!

A Break

I think today is a good day to take a break from talking about the little troubles I'm having. Today I'd like to post about my thoughts on the violence on the Gaza strip. Honestly I know very very little about the political issues, the motivations, or the US involvement in the whole situation. That will make this a very short post, but it's what I've been thinking about. What struck and still strikes me when I read, hear, or see anything about it is how scary it would be to be living there. What if instead of our house being in St. Louis Missouri, it was picked up and planted in that area? We would be living without electricity, and running low on gas and in fear of being attacked at any minute. So what if there's a mouse in my oven! Would I even have enough food to put in that oven and cook? So what if my child wants to get up and play in the middle of the night! Would my daughter be too scared to even go to bed?

I am honestly so very blessed and I rarely take the time to even acknoweldge it. I hope and pray that people who are living in that sort of turmiol and confusion can some way to bring hope and peace into their lives.

They just keep coming

I'm so glad I'm married to a manly man. One who does not even think twice when I tell him that it's his job to clean up all the mouse pee and poo in our stove. One who isn't intimidated by the oven schematic telling him which wires go where and how to take the thing apart. One who casually sucks up half a dead mouse with the vacuum and then disposes of the body without me even having to touch or inspect it. I'm so glad that he's not grossed out by truly gross things.

Turns out that there was mouse pee and poop all over under the stove top (between the stove top and oven) and that a mouse had been in there and died at some point. And our stove top is bolted onto the range. You can't just lift it from the front so Dan had to do serious disassembly on the appliance. On the good side we did not find any evidence of insulation nesting. On the bad side I'm waiting until there's a day/time when we're not home to run the self cleaning option to burn off all the residue. That's going to stink up to high heaven. This so grosses me out.

On another troubling note, Charlotte has started having nightmares. Wake up in the middle of the night crying for mommy and daddy nightmares. Wont go back to sleep because of "scawy" nightmares. She always wants to be with us after a nightmare, but she's never slept in the bed with us before. You'd think that wouldn't be a big deal, but as it turns out she now can't sleep with us. If we let her come to bed she just tosses and turns and is totally enthralled by being in bed with mommy and daddy and probably wide awake because of the nightmare. We can't go to bed with her either because she's still just in the daybed of her crib. It only holds up to 70 lbs or so. She will not stay in her room alone though. So what has to happen is that daddy has to go and sleep on the floor next to her bed so that she's safe to fall back to sleep. A few hours later he then gets himself up and to bed with me. This can't last though. He needs to get a good night sleep. And we have another baby coming in four months. If this is happening neither of us will ever sleep again. I'd like to think this phase will end shortly, but honestly, I remember going into my parents room when I got scared. If I can remember it then it had to be when I was older than 21 months. We've got to come up with a plan for dealing with this and soon. The problem is, I have zero ideas on how to combat this problem.

This Stinks

A new and exciting world has opened up before me since returning from Christmas vacation. We were not gone for long, a little over a week. Everything seemed fine. Everything looked fine. Everything did NOT smell fine.

Specifically our oven. Oh, it smells fine when it's just sitting there shiny and new. I give it loving looks every now and then just so it knows that I am well aware of the luxury of having a brand new gas oven. I think the love affair I've been having is not one sided either. Our oven has worked amazingly roasting chickens, broiling fish, and browning the bread to just the right color. That is until a few nights ago. As I was cooking our meatloaf dinner a strange smell emanated from the oven. The unmistakable smell of urine. Daniel pulled the oven out and found loads of mouse poop and urine all over the floor. (This would be what precipitated getting the cat.) He cleaned it up really well and we figured that was that.

Skip to today. I made muffins for lunch and that awful stench came back. I decided to look this phenomenon up on the Internet and this problem is fairly common. It seemed as though there was a whole world of people that were dealing with this problem. I read story after story about mice getting into the oven and nesting. Person after person taking apart the appliance to deep clean it and then the oven usually had to be totally replaced. Oh, you can take it apart and try to clean everything out (which I'm sure Dan will try), but if they've gotten into your insulation there's nothing to be done. That smell will never go away.

What I feel really upset about is that we were only gone one week! One stinking week and mice may have ruined a very expensive, very new large appliance! We already had our furnace go out, and now this!

I just hope that Daniel can clean out the oven because there's no way a woman that's 23 weeks pregnant should be doing that chore.

Interpretations

Since Christmas, Charlotte has added a few new names to her repitoire of favorite-people-in-the-whole-world. She says these people's names periodically throughout the day just to remember them and hopefully mom will say she can see them soon. For example this morning as she was taking a bath she suddenly stopped what she was doing, looked up at me and said, "Bonnie! Emma! Grandma! Grandpa!" then proceeded to play with the bath toys. Some of the new names she's added are Roscoe, Katie, Suzie, Garrett, and Travis. That list isn't complete but you get the idea.

This shouting out of names, compounded with the fact that not all of them are pronounced properly can sometimes make for interesting interpretations on my part.

Take this morning at the grocery store for example. As we were walking around the store she would periodically say, "Garreck" which I interpreted as Garrett, her uncle. I saw that saying that name usually conincided with spotting a male customer at the store so I would tell her each time, "Uncle Garrett lives in Colorado. He's not here at the grocery store." To which she would reply, "Garreck!" As we were checking out she was looking at the magazines and interspersed with 10 million requests for "canny" and "chocick" she would say "Garreck." I told her no to the candy and chocolate and that no, Uncle Garrett wasn't on the cover of the magazines. It wasn't until I got home and she was helping me unpack the groceries that I figured it out. She exclaimed, "garreck" as she stuck her hand into a grocery sack and pulled out our pound bag of carrots. At which point I asked her if she wanted some carrots and she said yes. Turns out she'd been asking for carrots throughout the whole store and I just didn't understand her.

The Wrap-Up (minus photos)

So Christmas was awesome and I thought I'd write down a few highlights to remember it by. We flew out Christmas Eve day, which actually would have been great because of the lack of people at the airport. Unfortunately, our plane was delayed by all the weather that's happening pretty much all over the country and we had to stay in the St. Louis airport for a good 7 hours. Fortunately there was a family on our flight with a four year old boy and one year old girl that Charlotte fell in love with and played non-stop for those seven hours. Unfortunately the new environment, new friends, and new foods made her forget to tell us about needing to poop. Three times.

Christmas Eve was great. We ate dinner and then settled in for the talent show portion of the evening. Our little family sang jingle bells which Charlotte did pretty well on. And then I revealed my talent which was that I actually finished our Christmas stockings, including the one for our little boy to come. This was a very cute way to reveal that we're naming our next little guy Daniel Gregory, to be called Greg for short. That's my dad's name and I'm pretty sure he blinked out a few tears when he put two and two together.

Christmas Day was awesome. I had been worried that we didn't get Charlotte very many toys, but it seems that everyone got her a little something and she was overwhelmed with gifts this year. I'm going to have to cull out some of the old toys to find room for the new ones. She actually at one point decided that she didn't need to open any more presents because she was too busy playing with the already opened ones. That didn't last for very long though. I can't wait until the three extra boxes of presents we had to mail home arrive on Wednesday. I think it'll be like Christmas all over again. And this time I'm going to let her play with all her toys. I only let her pick a few out to play with over vacation.

We spent a day driving up to Logan to see Daniel's brother and family. Other than the terrifying drive up we had a great time. Charlotte picked up a few new things from her cousins that are pretty cute. None of which will make sense unless you already know what they do so I'm not going to write them down. Our drive back was considerably less scary and I found out that Daniel and I can still talk to each other for three hours and not get bored or run out of things to say. That was a nice little perk of being in the car.

The flight back home was also delayed because of snow. We didn't get home until about 2 AM Saturday morning and fell right into bed. When we got up we did an inspection of the house and found everything in proper order thanks to our diligent friends. What we also found that did not make me happy was "evidence" of mice all over the house.

So that tipped the scale and on Saturday afternoon we went to the Humane Society. We arrived half an hour before it closed and picked out a kitty that we wanted to have. Unfortunately the couple right in front of us picked that kitty to take home. So Daniel said, "I've always thought calico cats are pretty. Can we look at that one?" She was two years old (and named Scratchy) so I had completely passed over her as a possibility, but the lady brought her to us and Daniel instantly fell in love. She does "everything a cat should do" (his words, not mine). She curled up on his lap and started to purr as soon as he started to pet her. Then she licked Charlotte a few times and we were all sold. So now our family is larger by one tiny two year old cat, which we named Suzie. We think she'll be a good mouser, but we're not letting her downstairs at night in case there are still some mice scurrying around with poison in their tummies. We had already cleaned up all the poison that had been out for the mice before we brought her home.

So now I just have to get unpacked, cleaned up, and back on track. It would go a lot faster if I hadn't had to take Charlotte to the doctor this morning. We found out that she has a bit of a yeast infection so I'm glad I took her, but there was very little unpacking done in the mean time.

The Best "Mistake" Ever

My mom is always one for a good deal. It doesn't matter on what. It matters that its cheaper than what she would normally have to pay. This explains why she booked our plane tickets out to my grandma's house for Christmas last August. Last. August. At that point Daniel's school had not yet put out their new academic calendar so she had to work off the previous year's calendar. This explains why we will be flying out to Utah on Christmas Eve Day.

Then we found out that Daniel actually had his final last Friday. That means we could have flown out Friday night, or Saturday, or any day between now and Wednesday. At first I was bummed about that. Where's the anticipation you get when you see all the gifts from our family, grandma/pa, and my uncle's family under the tree? Where's all the great feelings you get when you are surrounded with family? Where's my days of vacation from cleaning our house?

Today though I would have to say that this was perhaps the best "mistake" that could ever have been made. Although Daniel is running around trying to complete all the projects he couldn't while in school, we still have him around. And Charlotte is LOVING it! Truth be told, so am I. Last night we went driving around looking at Christmas lights together and just being our little family. I love my husband. I love my daughter. I love my baby boy. And even though I'm spending the next two days cleaning the house and packing for our trip, I love Christmas vacation.

Daniel vs. The Computer

My husband does not have a good relationship with our home computer. I think this is because he usually uses the computers at his school where if something goes wrong there's a whole staff of people to fix it. The home computer however, is a little slow, and if something goes wrong it's my job to fix it. It really shouldn't be my job. It really shouldn't be Daniel's job either. Mostly what shouldn't be Daniel's job is trying to play any sort of movie, TV show, or YouTube video on our home computer. Last night he went to battle over trying to watch a TV show in which the computer won and he went to bed frustrated.

I however have never had any trouble getting anything to play on the computer. I can't contribute this to any superior knowledge of the device because I've watched him, he does the same things that I do. Only when he does them he's always muttering, "This stupid piece of crap. Why wont it go faster?" So I figure last night had to be the last straw for the computer because when I tried to watch some short videos today they wouldn't run for a while. He's permanently pissed the computer off and now it's taking it out on me.

Good Recommendation

Each Christmas I get ambitious to make more holiday decorations for our home. Each year I fail to complete all my projects. I have a list of sewing projects a mile long it seems that I want and need to get finished. Every person that I know that sews has a list like this. My mother refers to it as sewing guilt, but she can't feel too guilty about it since she's always out getting more projects. I put most of my projects aside this time of year in lieu of finishing our Christmas tree skirt, Christmas stockings, and Christmas wall hanging. (Sorry to my friends who will have babies to big to wear their jackets before I complete them!) Last weekend I realized that the blue table cloth under the tree was doing a fine job for now and that nobody but myself misses the 12 days of Christmas wall hanging I have to do, but if I don't get our stockings done where is Santa going to put all our stocking stuffers? So with that indisputable logic I set aside the tree skirt, which is four sets of eyes, quilting and binding away from being finished, and the wall hanging, which is still in the original bag, and started to work on the stockings.

Which is where the good recommendation comes into play. While visiting at home either at the end of September or during Thanksgiving, I can't remember which, my mom introduced me to fusable batting. I then asked my mother-in-law what she thought about using it for my smaller Christmas projects. Both of them thought it would be a good idea, even with the higher price tag. So I went out and bought it. Having never worked with it before I was a little leery, but let me tell you that stuff is amazing! If you are doing a smaller project I highly recommend using it because it's so much easier than pinning or basting the layers together. I don't know how or if it would work well on bigger quilts, but I have just been so happy with the result so far on my small projects that I thought everyone should know about this product.

I don't have any photos of the stockings right now because they're not finished. Maybe after Christmas, yeah, maybe then.

Merry Christmas

Because this holiday season has felt like one never-ending to-do list that I am always burried under, I've had a hard time focusing on all the really great things that have happened to our little family. I thought that since Daniel is "helping" Charlotte nap before church I'd take a second to write a few of them down so that I don't forget them.

It has been awesome to watch Charlotte grasp the new and exciting things of Christmas this year. Namely she knows who Santa is, even though she doesn't know anything about why people get excited about him. She loves snow, although she hasn't had much exposure. She absolutely loved to help put up the ornaments on the tree. Good news, our tree has just the right number of ornaments for an almost two year old attention span.

Mostly it's fun to hear her little voice singing, "jing-o jing-o hey!" to herself. This is how she sings jingle bells. Dan and I are aching to get this on video, but she wont do it if she knows she's being recorded so we have to be tricky.

It's been fun to listen to my husband put together a few homemade presents in the basement. He jumped on the idea of them when I suggested them to him as a great present. Originally we were going to do them together, but that just wasn't in the cards. Plus, it's great to hear him singing Santa Claus songs from the basement.

It's been fun to do Christmas activities with Charlotte. I've tried to do one thing each day and I think I've kept it going so far. We've painted the boxes for presents-one day with paint brushes, the next stamping with potato stamps. We've made Christmas cards, and decorated ornaments. We put up the decorations together including her favorite, the window stickers. We've made cookies several times.

We went shopping for Charlotte's present to Daddy together and she picked it out herself and walked around the store carrying it saying, "daddy, daddy, daddy." Her first present choice for him was little pink dolls, but eventually she got the idea that Daddy probably doesn't want that for Christmas.

Last but not least, just about the time of Thanksgiving I started to feel our little boy moving. It's so great to be able to feel that little life inside of me. He seems so strong and alive right now and I'm falling in love with him and imagining our next Christmas with him in our family. I can't wait.

I was totally right-and wrong!

Remember when I told you all that I felt I was having a boy? Well, I was right about that part. Remember that I also said that we had pretty much decided on a name? Well, wrong-o bongo. So now we're waffling. I don't have any cool ultrasound shots because they only gave me a printout this time and I'm lazy so I didn't want to scan them in. You'll just have to wait until he arrives to see his cute little face.

Being a Grown-Up

I think everyone goes through a time when they can't wait to grow up and do things whatever way they want to. They can make all their own decisions and deal with things however they want to. I remember doing that. I remember loving my first year in college because I was finally on my own. I could eat cold cereal for every meal of every day if I wanted to. It was so great. Then, after you've done it for a while it loses some of it's sparkle. What's for dinner is now a much less exciting question for me than it was when I was 18.

Then you get a real dose of making your own decisions and dealing with things however you want. Take today for example. Last weekend Daniel turned down our water heater because our gas bill was through the roof. This detail wont come back up until the end of the story though. Then yesterday, when we came home from church all of the heat vents were blowing arctic air continually. The pilot light had gone out on our furnace. Daniel tried to light it 4-5 times periodically three times throughout the evening without any luck. So we bundled up on the sofa under our big comforter and watched TV until bed. Luckily some friends brought over three space heaters for over the night time because we didn't want our pipes to freeze. Then this morning Daniel wrote down on a piece of paper exactly what he'd done with the furnace, gave me a kiss, and went off to school, leaving Charlotte and I to fend for ourselves in a house that was colder than 50 degrees. I say colder than 50 degrees because that's the lowest our thermostat registers and the needle was below it. I called the heating company that installed our AC last summer and had a repair man come over. He came and looked at the furnace, then gave me the news that we needed a new one just as Daniel's class was starting and thus couldn't answer the phone.

So as a grown-up I had to make the decision of what of the many options of furnaces to get all on my own and to try and get the best deal out of the guy as possible. Luckily I could talk to my mother-in-law a few times so I at least had a long distance second opinion. Also, Charlotte and I had to be warm so I hung blankets over the doors and gathered the space heaters in one room to heat it up for the day and wait for the installers to finish installing the furnace. When the installers came one of them actually said to me, "I think it's warmer outside of your house than in." Gee, thanks. The installation wasn't completed until about 5 PM.

When Daniel got home I told him all about it and also that my shower was frigid even though I had brought a space heater into the tiny bathroom with me. He said I had chosen the wrong space heater, which was true, but then he went down to look at what setting he'd put the water heater on. Apparently when he'd lowered the temperature he'd had to re-light the pilot light. Then he had never turned the knob back to heat. Not only had I sat in a freezing cold house all day, I'd also taken a shower with water heated by the pilot light. It was a long, long day of being a grown-up. I think I'd like to go back to asking my mom what's for dinner.

Day Four

Well, potty training is going much better than expected. She's still figuring things out, but it's now noon and she's had the same pair of panties on all day! Three times now she's voluntarily sat on her potty and gone to the bathroom without even telling me. She knew it was going to happen so she sat down. The only drawback is that she neglected to pull down her panties each time. So we still have a ways to go. This is a lot of work, but with progress like this I'm excited to push ahead.

Day One

Dear Friends and Family,

In case you don't hear from me for a while I thought I'd post a photo that will show you why:

Yes, a keen observer would realize that not only is Charlotte wearing her favorite mini mouse T-shirt and Mommy's socks, but also her brand new panties. As far as day one of anything new I'm trying to teach her goes, today was not that bad. I'll let you know how the future of this new experiment goes later.

Maggie

New Things to Post

Vacation at my in-laws was GREAT! Dan and I both got to relax, and help which makes us feel loved and happy. I think pregnancy has made my sense of smell better because as I was unpacking I could smell the wonderful mixture of scents that make up the unique smell of my in-laws' home. I never knew I could get so many different smells that feel like home. I can add this to my list of the smell of my own parent's house, and my grandma's house as one I will always recognize and love. Beside that all I have to say is that coming home is hard work and Dan and I are trying our best to catch up to the load of work in front of us. Because of that I thought I'd just post some awesome photos of Charlotte, and our house that I've taken and been meaning to share. (Sorry, no photos of our decorated walls.)

Not only does Charlotte like to use spoons now, she likes to use five of them at once. Yes, she did receive morning hair from her mom, which Aunt Katie will get a kick out of.

This is perhaps one of Charlotte's favorite outfits at the moment. Thank you to Grandma LeAnn for the dress and to Grandma Denise for the lovely boots, which she insists on wearing with the dress. I couldn't get her to look at me because "momemo" (Nemo) was on the TV.I was going to be really good at taking photos this Thanksgiving, but this is the only one I ended up taking. Listening to Daniel explain to Charlotte what was going on outside of the plane while she listened intently just made my heart melt. The two of them are so cute together. Then when we got to vacation I completely forgot about taking any photos. This photo actually highlights two new things. The first one being our beautiful new secretary. Thank you John and LeAnn! The top opens up and inside you can put papers and there's little drawers which will fill up shortly no doubt. The second one is Charlotte's new Christmas jammies. She is so cute in them I can't hardly believe it.I included this photo because you can see the beauty of the desk better at this angle.This is Charlotte in her new jammies. Dan took the photo so of course you see both her head and feet at the same time. On the jammies are little gingerbread men. I'm so glad she got them because last year's she was really growing out of. Now she has more room to grow!

Motivation

Yesterday another form of Happiness arrived in the form of our Christmas present from my in-laws. It is a beautiful mission style secretary and I set it up in our foyer and moved the little table we bought off craigslist to the dining room. It was so beautiful in fact that it motivated us to finally hang all our pictures that have just been in stacks on my desk. If I were really motivated I'd have taken photos and posted the beautifulness that is our secretary and the hung photos, but right now I'm tired and I'll probably only have half an hour of Charlotte's nap left to sleep myself. Ahh, the joys of pregnancy.

Happiness Can Be Bought

I was sort of happy to pull out my maternity clothing from last time and get to wear some of the stuff again. Especially this one blue sweater. It's so comfy, and kinda stylish. I love it. Then I remembered how hard it was to find jeans that fit the length last time. I tried on the two pairs of jeans I wore last time and realized that at some point I must have given up hope of ever finding jeans that fit me.

Determined that just because I am pregnant doesn't mean that I can't find long jeans I went shopping. I went to the maternity store in the mall and tried on, I kid you not, at least 20 pairs of jeans until I found them. My new and favorite pair of jeans that would never leave my body so long as I was going to have to have a huge belly. Then I took a look at the price tag and all hopes were completely shot. Why would the sales lady ever even think of giving me a $210 pair of jeans? A pair of jeans that I would not even wear longer than 6 months max! I'm sure the type of mom that has the money and will spend over $1000 on the phil and teds deluxe double stroller probably doesn't bat an eyelash at a $210 pair of jeans. I'm clearly not that mom. When I told the sales lady there was absolutely no way I was purchasing a $210 pair of jeans, even if it did seem like they were made just for my body, she said, "Well, we do have an in store credit card that you can apply for. Every dollar you spend goes towards in store credit." Needless to say there's no way I'm going into debt for one stinking pair of jeans! I left the store and my spirits were low. Very low.

The next day I went shopping with Daniel to a different mall. Spirits high after a good night's rest I went in confident that I would find what I sought that day. We went to GAP maternity. GAP carries long pants so I should be able to find something there right? WRONG. They do not carry one single long pair of jeans in the maternity section of the store. I don't know why, but this made me feel like a complete mutant who nobody wants to dress. This was the total opposite feeling I had wanted to achieve in my pursuit of a simple pair of jeans.

Then, today, Happiness arrived via the UPS man. My angel of a mother went to GAP maternity online and purchased for me one pair of long maternity jeans in my size. I put them on and they brought a smile to my face and a dance to my feet. And now I know that, sometimes, Happiness can be bought.

The Marathon

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the reaction I get when I tell people that I'm having my second child this close to my first, and, oh yeah, my husband's in his second year of medical school. Unless it's one of the many great people I think of as my medical school community, the reaction spans the spectrum from the look of shock, to bewilderment as to how I could actually do this, to, in one really unfortunate interaction, disgust.

I feel like the choices Daniel and I are making are helping us. Yes, our choices make our lives more difficult. They stretch us farther. Daniel's schooling is harder than if he were a single man. It's harder to be a wife to someone that simply can't always be there. I do have to find ways to be self reliant, and self sufficient. Although these stresses are hard to handle, they are our choice. We didn't stumble upon our life path right now. We sat down and planned each step we've taken so far.

Plus, although I've never trained for a marathon (and don't plan to) I've seen people close to me do it. They put calculated stress on their bodies and with that stress their bodies get stronger, leaner, faster, and more able to handle the extreme stress that a marathon puts on them. I feel that the calculated stress that we are putting on ourselves right now is helping to get our family stronger individually, and as a group. Do I think my husband will be a better doctor for it? Certainly I do. Do I think I will be a stronger, more confident, and more capable person for it? Of course. Do I think my children will grow from this experience? Yes. And you know what? I also think that our family will emerge from medical school and residency the better for our experiences during this time.

The Kind of Friend I Want To Be

You know how I talked about Daniel and myself soldiering on through colds? Well, I'm going to admit something to you right now. I'm a liar. I don't really naturally soldier on through colds. Really truly I don't. My husband, however, thinks that he never gets sick and it works too! His colds are never as bad as mine. In fact he wont really admit that he's sick at all right now. All he's got is a runny nose. Which I define as a light cold, but I guess it's all in how you look at it. Since having a baby I've been trying to pretend like I'm not sick when I really am and seeing how it works. I can't say I've got a 100% success rate, but I think my colds are less severe and shorter than they were before. Let's face it, moms don't get sick days.


Unless you're me.


And unless you have amazing friends.


A few weeks ago I watched a friend's little girl for the day so that she could go clean someones house/make a few extra dollars. She told me that she expected me to call and have the favor returned, which I fully intended to do, I just wanted it to be the right day at the right time so that I could have a day of just playing. The house needed to already be clean, the budget balanced, my daughter healthy and happy, and all my errands run. I wanted to spend the day doing nothing but sewing, reading, sleeping, and watching movies.

Then yesterday hit. I woke up with the same severe sinus headache that I'd had the night before when I went to bed. I decided enough was enough, I'm not pretending to be healthy anymore. I'm going to buy some cold medicine. In my foggy state I found the paper the doctor gave me about which medicines are safe to take while pregnant, packed Charlotte into the car and went to the grocery store. When I got to the cold medicine isle I wanted to cry. Do you know how many cold medicines there are? And they all happen to be at just the right height for a toddler to put them in your basket. I finally just had to go ask the pharmacist (whom I will forever love now) what I could take. I must have looked pretty pathetic because he got out from behind the counter and walked with me and asked all about the pregnancy and my plans for getting things done that day. He was very helpful.

I ended up choosing Tylenol cold daytime because I still wanted to get stuff done. I went home and took the stuff. At what point in your life does medicine go from being cherry or fruit flavored to making me want to throw back up what just went down my throat? Approximately 20 minutes after taking the daytime medicine my body decided that it could no longer stay awake. I called my friend, giving her zero notice about watching Charlotte all day and she dropped all plans she had and took Charlotte.

So my day off wasn't spent sewing, or reading in a clean, quiet, orderly house. My day off was spent passed out on top of my bed, still fully dressed, in the messiest my house has been in quite a while. And you know what? I loved it. Because I'm a mom and I still got a sick day.

Why Did I think of That?

Well, TRS, you really hit the nail on the head with your last comment. Sunday Dan, Charlotte, and I all came down with a pretty solid head cold. Head colds aren't bad for Dan or myself, we just soldier on through it, but when Charlotte gets sick she usually works herself up coughing, and wheezing all night until she barfs. (This time though I apparently slept through the whole episode. Except for cleaning the sheets today.) Anyway, I was really not in the mood to do anything this morning. Do you know what saved me? A jelly jar with a slit in the lid and buttons. Lots and lots of buttons. That kept her occupied for an hour! Until she decided it would be fun to try and chew on the buttons and then they had to go away, but still it was amazing. So now during nap time I think I'll be making sewing sewing board type things that she can play with along side of me. So anyway, TRS, you're my hero!

Update: After posting this I went and checked some other blogs I like to read and then came back and laughed out loud at my title. It's supposed to read Why didn't I think of that? I was going to correct it then thought you might also like to have a little chuckle at my slip up.

Goals for the Week

Last week I felt like I pretty much tanked it the entire week. My daughter was unhappy because Mommy wasn't paying attention to her, at all, I was unhappy because my house was a mess and there was no way I was ever going to dig myself out of it, and there seems to be a huge pile of sewing that tugs at my thoughts and heart to do, but never any time to do it. So this week I made some goals:

1. Be an awesome, attention giving mother to Charlotte. This means instead of finding activities that would distract her from me to actually find activities that we would enjoy doing together.
2. Clean this house.
3. Finish the hand stitching for our tree skirt that I really, really, really want to be able to use this year.

So today I was taking stock of my week. I'd like to flatter myself that I've done pretty darn good on goal number 1. There were a few lapses, but for the most part I've noticed Charlotte is acting out a lot less. That usually means that I'm giving her enough postivie attention that she doesn't need to do bad stuff. Goal 2 has been successfully done well since I had a flurry of activity on Tuesday that nearly killed me on Wednesday. I also feel like I've done a pretty good job of connecting with my friends and helping them out when they need it. (I really hope I'm right on that one because I want to be the kind of friend that people feel comfortable calling for help.) Sadly, have I even touched the tree skirt since Sunday? No. Well, you can't win them all. And Christmas will come and go and be just fine without a tree skirt if I don't get it done.

House Progress

Since we haven't really done anything to the house since school started I haven't really posted anything here. But because I had a streak of creativity this week I decorated two new parts of the house:

Here is Daniel helping me hang the curtains. You can't really see the blue on the bottom, but they're really pretty and I'm so happy that all my planning worked out.

And here:

I decorated our dining room mantel! It's beautiful isn't it? I love it, but this photo is a little dark.

Here's another view of the mantel in which I show that the rest of our dining room should also probably be decorated, but I'll get to that in time. I also need to paint that room. I do like the color now, but it's just too dark for the lighting in that room.

A Sense of Humor

It's the little things that make me realize that Charlotte's not a baby anymore. Today for example. I was in the basement, changing loads of laundry when I hear the door to the basement slam closed. I walk up the stairs with my load of clean laundry. I open the door to see what's happened. As soon as the door swings open, Charlotte pops her head around the corner and yells, "Hey you!" and then laughs and laughs. Apparently she scared me and it was really funny. She's such a big kid now!

A sigh of relief

I thought I'd post about our progress with Charlotte's bed since I've said everything else so far. A few days ago (or was it last week?) we were finally able to take the baby gate off her door without her feeling like she needed to get up and walk out of her room. We also were able to mostly close the door so walking by her room doesn't wake her up anymore. Also she's now started to mostly sleep from the time we put her down at night until 6:30. We did have to move the bed across the room from it's original spot because it was right in front of the vent. Great in summer for the AC, not so great in winter for the heat. Also she'll go down for naps without screaming bloody murder, really without any fuss at all. So were back to where we were before! Hooray. Only it's better because when she wakes up in the morning she'll just get out of bed and come in my room without tears. I can then have her lay with me in bed (if I'm feeling really lazy) or get up. Guess which one I do more often? Because I'm a good mom like that. I am now so, so happy about her progress towards a big girl bed. Which will probably be just a mattress on the floor because have you seen how expensive beds are? YIKES!