I Fall To Pieces

We flew home. Was it just yesterday? Yes, I think it was. And you know the most wonderful thing happened on the flight....nothing. It wasn't amazingly good, but it sure wasn't amazingly bad. And also my son has a super-power. He makes old men happy. Ridiculously happy. Happy enough that they stopped us to tell us goodbye when we passed them on our way to get the our bags. Multiple men. It was funny.

So there are the three of us. I'm the Sherpa carrying bags and stuffed dogs and a buffalo that turns into a blanket and pushing the stroller. Charlotte spies the restaurants and says we should really stop for dinner because she's "so so so so so so hungry," and Greg is wanting to get out and run his little self around and my answer to everything is, "Just wait until we get to Daddy." I keep telling myself I just need to hold it together until then. My mental outlook was much like what I had on the way to the hospital giving birth to Charlotte. Just get to the end point and then you can relax, knowing things are taken care of. (Oh how naive I was then.)

We were wandering around baggage claim and I couldn't even find where our bags were supposed to be coming out at and I looked around for familiar faces and I couldn't see the people who were on our flight and I'm tired. And then, in an instant, things changed. Daddy was standing in front of us. And I had butterflies in my stomach because I'm reminded of the times I flew to see him while we were engaged. And I ran and hugged him. Then Charlotte tore out of the stroller and ran and hugged him. Greg was a bit concerned about being left alone buckled into the stroller until he saw Daddy. He started attempting to tear the straps and buckles apart to get to Daddy.

It was like when Dan took all the pieces of luggage I was trying to carry and hold together I also let go of all the little emotional pieces that were being held together by my last energies as a mother. He makes our family whole and we're blessed to have him with us.

Daniel spent the rest of the night carrying both children who would not let go of him. It just made my heart happy to see how much they love him and how they missed him. Greg just cuddled himself right onto Dan's shoulder and stayed there as long as he could. We are sure happy to have him home.

Hard Hitting News

I desperately wanted to post a photo or two but managed to forget my all the necessary tools needed to transfer photos from my camera to the computer. So you'll have to use your imagination.

Our vacation is going well. We've had a lot of time to relax. But one point that didn't go well was my very first trip to the ER with my child. Greg fell in Nordstrom and hit his head on the tile floor. It had an amazing amount of blood that came gushing from the wound and all I could think was we need to get him to the doctor. So I started saying (my mom says I was yelling) we need to leave now. That was the only thing I could think to say. My mom told me to take him to the bathroom. I managed to carry him across the floor to the bathroom and not get any blood on my white pants or new jacket. I had him pretty calmed down while my shaking hands were holding paper towels to his head. I was just thinking wait for help which I was sure my mother would bring. To my surprise Nordstrom has a medical response unit which arrived in less than a minute. The lady came in and started to get his head to stop bleeding.

At that point, knowing someone else was helping him, I sort of lost it and started to hyperventilate maybe because the lady told me I had to go sit on the sofa in the lounge. That helped me, but freaked Greggie out. He started to kick and scream as hard as possible. Knowing we'd have to take him somewhere to be fixed I called my father in law (a surgeon) and asked him what to do. He called ahead to the urgent care and told me to take him there.

We ended up taking him from urgent care to the pediatric ER in a nearby hospital. He was amazingly good and sat very still while everyone inspected his wound. Then they gave him a topical anesthetic and conscious sedation and then he got really loopy and everything he did was hilarious. He was fine until they had to drape the wound with a sterile cloth. That he hated and also the anesthetic they injected into the site. He started to get mad. The funny part was when the male medical assistant came in to give the doctor something, Greg calmed somewhat to his voice. They made the guy stay in the room and told him to talk. He didn't know what to say so they had him sing a song. The only song the guy knew was the theme song to the Love Boat. So there we are Greg getting his wound irrigated and they guy singing the Love Boat, until that failed to work anymore and they let the guy leave.

Four hours after the initial injury Greg emerged from the pediatric ER with one stitch below the skin and six stitches across the top.

You'd think that would slow him down and make him a little more cautious.

And you'd be wrong.

Best Self Photo Ever

Charlotte it turning into quite the photographer. Here's her self portrait. And here's the little beuaty she took of me the other day. Is this really what I look like to my children?
Oh well, I thought it was funny.

Stories to Tell Dan (When I see him again)

Two days ago Charlotte picked out a cute little shirt that her Aunt Rachael gave to her. It's a white button up shirt with thin purple stripes. She put it on all by herself and was very proud of the outfit she was wearing. She turned to me and said, "I look like Daddy!" And I suppose she did.

Yesterday as we were in the car Charlotte asked me, "Why does Daddy sleep at the hospital now?" I thought that was funny.

The Destroyer

My son makes messes faster than I can clean them up. Not little messes either. Messes like pooping on the floor and walking through it. Messes like emptying an entire sippy cup of juice on my comforter. And messes like destroying his crib.

I'm sure you're wondering what I'm talking about when I say he is destroying his crib. I mean he's eating it. You know how a lot of kids chew on the top bar of their crib when they're teething? My son started when he was getting his first teeth, and hasnt' stopped. He has literally chewed pieces off the top of his crib. It sort of blows my mind that he is eating his crib. Clearly we're going to have to sand the rail down and restain it for the next child, but what do I do in the meantime?

A Very Very Very Fine House

I was waiting to post photos of all our work until it was done and everything was clean. What a joke. I decided to stop waiting and just post them.

First the best before photo I could find:

As you can see the walls were peach with dark green above the chair rail. The wood was partially stripped. What you can't see is that the wall was in despirate need of resurfacing. I also didn't have a very good before photo of the bench, which was beautiful, but also partially stripped. Here's the new view as you come in the front door.


We repainted the wall a much better green. The first green we painted was beautiful, but matched nothing else in our house. This looks much better. We also stripped, stained, painted, and put down a carpet runner on the stairs.

We also installed this new hall light. Previously this hall had a gross pull string light. Now it has this little beauty that we got on clearance at Lowe's. I enjoy the area so very much now. All that is left are the details and decorating it. I hope you enjoyed the update. I sure did.

Feeling Bad For Him

Yesterday Dan woke up at 4 AM, ate breakfast by 4:30 and was out of the house by 4:45.

He was in the OR most of the day. He didn't make it home until 6:30 PM. At which point he ate dinner, his second meal for the day. He was so wiped out that he just laid on the floor at the top of the landing until it was time to put the kids to bed. I assumed he'd be going to bed at the same time.

He probably thought so too.

At 8 PM one of the women in our ward called us frantically searching for people to help her husband move them from their current apartment into their new place. They had to be out of the place that night and nobody had shown up to help.

Dan wasn't home until 10 PM.

He said he needed some water so he sat in the kitchen while I did dishes and talked his head right off. He is so patient and loving and hard working.

He's superman.

As a little pick-me-up I showed him the video of Greg dancing at the concert we went to a few weeks ago. I can't figure out how to flip the video so you'll have to tilt your head.

I think he's got some pretty awesome moves.

Patience

For the past two months or so James 1:2-4 has been circling my brain.

"My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing."

I guess it comes as no real surprise that I've been trying to work on having patience this time as well. I've been getting so upset at the crying, screaming, lonely days I've been living with the toddlers of the house and just wishing I had the self control to not be so frustrated. Because I do love what I'm doing. I love this wonderful life I have and my amazing kids. There isn't a day that passes where I'm not amazed at their lovely beings. Over and over to myself I've been thinking what is it that I'm missing? what am I not seeing here that is preventing me from being more patient with my kids, myself, my husband, and my situation? What part of my faith is being worked on?



On Sunday I was particularly focused (or shall I say nervous) about the upcoming three moths where Dan will, for all intents and purposes, be gone from our family. I was worried about trying to be on top of everything all on my own and how I don't really think I can do that. Then that scripture came again to my mind. Only this time I realized something. I don't know if it really connects to this verse, but it whispered peace to me.



I realized that patience is such a Godly trait. He has so much patience with me. These months he has not been trying to tell me to be patient with my progress, with what I'm doing, but to be patient with my children. Something, my very wonderful sister-in-law said to me while they were here on spring break in April came to me as well. She said, in essence, its hard for moms to not think of their first child as a little adult. How often I have thought of my children as little adults, getting frustrated with how much they blow things out of proportion. Of course the color of the Popsicle is important to you. Of course you care if you get to wear that shirt backwards. What the Lord wants for me is to see that. And to settle into it.



It came to me that in order for me to be where I want to be, to be patient and to have a loving home I needed to sacrifice something. I need to be able to stand back and sacrifice my control of the daily situations. In order for me to lead my family the way I want them to be led I need to focus more on serving my family and taking the time to listen to them. Because when I do I am blown away by the things that I learn from them. What a wonderful blessing it is to be a mom.

Mean Girls

My daughter has figured out the power of words. Specifically mean words. It's so disheartening to hear her say calculated things to get a reaction out of her friends. After one loooong week of trying "discipline" her about it I finally just sat down and talked with her about it on Saturday. At church on Sunday I asked the nursery leaders to keep their ears open and notify me if anything was said and then again at playgroup today and they said she was great. Hopefully that little streak was broken. It just makes me sad for the time, which I know will happen, when she's the recipient of that sort of behavior. Hopefully that isn't any time too soon.

Turning Around

Maybe I'm getting old (which compared to the 3 and 1 year olds I spend my day with isn't that far off). Maybe it's the passing of a good friend whom I really should have kept in touch with better. Confession: I thought seriously about calling her the week before she passed not even knowing her health was failing and then blew it off. Maybe it was hearing another good friend from high school is pursuing a career that I think is perfectly suited to her. I don't know what it is, but lately I've been feeling like I really want to gather all my old friends around me. Not just to check up on their facebook status or the random email here and there, but really truly talk to them face to face. And I'm not longing for a high school reunion because honestly besides a handful of very wonderful people I don't really care about much of what happened to the graduating class of 2002. But there are a whole lot of people from the town I grew up in that I'd love to see again. To meet their spouse and children if they have them and to see what they're up to. I want to see them all having success and being wildly happy. I have in my mind that they all are, but honestly who knows?

And it isn't just from my home town. I would love to see how some of the people I went to college with are doing. I would love to go to lunch with them and ask them about the things they are passionate about. The things that keep them going.

Probably I'm being overly romantic about things and logistically insane but wouldn't it be nice if you could gather those people up together and just get a chance to see what they're up to? To say the things you perhaps should have, and the things you hope they are doing, and wish them the success you hope they are having.

Anyway that's what I've been thinking about on this very rainy St. Louis day.

Warning

I just thought I'd tell everyone that just for today, I hate medical school. And also I hate the green color we painted the front room. It's putting me in a bad mood. So it would probably be best if you just stayed away.

Tomorrow things will be different. I promise.

I'm not Dead

It's just that our computer is. Our laptop screen got broken so we took it in to get it fixed. I took it in July 1st and we still don't have it back. They ordered a new screen and when it arrived it was cracked. So then they told me they were waiting for a new one. I called them yesterday and they said the company they ordered the first one from is being obstinate about sending them another one so it looks like they'll just have to eat the cost of that one. Translation to me: there isn't even another screen on the way right now. I'm just about ready to screem. On the plus side we do have our old laptop, but it is really unreliable so I'm not even sure this will post. In fact I've tried to post a small explination three times since July first and my laptop hates me. So hopefully you will all be able to read this.

On the other bright side Dan and I have nearly killed ourselves trying to resurface the walls of our entryway, hallway, stairwell, and upstairs landing all in one week. I can honestly say that I have put my blood sweat and tears into this project. Tonight we finally got to start painting. I'm getting pretty excited for the results. Photos to come. Well, maybe photos to come. We'll have to see.

Happy Father's Day

Did you celebrate Father's Day in your house? We did in ours and this is what we did:

• Ate a nice hot breakfast consisting of oatmeal, with goodies added for those who like that kind of thing, courtesy of Dan.
• Did the breakfast dishes while Dan sanded the stairs and other woodwork.
• Played with the kids while Dan did more sanding.
• Got ready for church while Dan sanded.
• Let Dan get Greg ready for church because who doesn't love trying to get a sleepy baby ready for church?
• Let Dan have Greg for the thrid hour of church because who doesn't love trying to entertain a sleepy hungry baby while in public?
• Made chicken salad for dinner and let Dan accompany that with grilled pineapple (yum!) and baked beans. Thanks Dan.

We just like to make sure he knows how important he is around here. Happy Father's Day!

My Boy

How you've grown! I know it's not a birthday or anything big like that, but I looked at you today and just burst out with love for you so I thought I'd let you know. Which I did in the moment with hugs, kisses, tickles and laughs. And which I will do now so you can read later.

Once you started walking you also decided it was high time you let us know what you were thinking as well. My favorite is whenever you see a ball you run to it pick it up and yell, "tatch!" then you throw it impossibly low so that nobody will be able to catch it. Sometimes there's nobody even around to catch the ball. You just love the ball.

I also love how you stick out your bottom lip. Mostly when you don't want to eat something (which is quite often right now). And that you raise your eyebrows and point your chin at whomever you wish to be talking to.

You are also learning the names for everything these days. You are always pointing and asking, "as dat" which means what's that. Though you can't yet form the words for everything, I'm sure you're learning them very quickly.

Also, you tell jokes. You sister used to do this too. You sit in your car seat and babble and then laugh and laugh like that was the funniest thing you've ever heard. You are such an amazingly great kid and I love you so much.

I feel so blessed to be your mother. There are so many things you want to be doing these days and so many things you are doing. You have taught me that I can love and love and love and there is no limit to it. You are my big boy now. Off to see the world and I'm lucky that I get to be along for the ride. Drive on little guy.

Love,
Momma

Please Support

Hey Everyone,
I know I don't have the largest following out there, but I wanted to direct everyone's attention to my friend Dana. She is an interior designer and has started a group around these parts where we get together once a month and re-design a room or part of a room in a member's house. It was my turn this last month and we decorated my living room. I thought there wasn't anything that could really be done, but boy was I wrong. I love the way it looks. I'm not posting photos quite yet because I decided to do a little more painting of my coffee table. Then I'll post photos.

Back to Dana, she's trying to get onto OWN and she needs votes. So please go over there and vote for her.

Thanks.

Falling To Pieces

Things that have broken in our house since Mother's Day:

• digital camera-with some help from a three year old.
• portable DVD player- good thing it was still under warranty.
• Vacuum cleaner- well really it just got clogged for the 4th time in 2 years and I was fed up with taking it in and spending $30-40 each time to get it fixed. We traded in for a very good used one. (And now it sounds like I went car shopping.)
• laptop screen- This feels like icing on the cake. Aren't things supposed to come in threes? This would be number four!

Dancing

Last weekend we started in on probably the most exciting project we have on our house. This project was the reason we bought the house. This was Dan's dream project. And we have taken a long time to get here. In case you were wondering we started to sand the woodwork on the stairs and built-in bench in our foyer. It is looking beautiful! Very yellow at the moment, but that will change soon. I'm so excited. And so is Dan.

The excitement level reached such heights on Saturday that we ended up having a dance party in our living room. Dan turned on Sierra Hull and we all danced around the room. We, of course, took videos of it, but there's no way Dan would be OK with me posting his dancing on here. All I want is for all of you to know that he does dance!

Wishes

This morning Charlotte woke up a little before 7 (which is just about as perfect a time as you can get in my opinion). She came into our bedroom and snuggled up to me.

We were both awake. Just laying there together. Nothing was being said. We were both enjoying the quiet of the morning.

Then I wondered if she's old enough to remember this. This perfect moment of snuggled in bliss.

She is three now.

Remember this. Please remember this wonderful feeling. You are my joy. You are sunbursts and rainbows and stars in the sky. You are why I start my day. I love you so very much.

One Last Hurrah-Sort Of

Last week we decided to celebrate the ending of our Magic House membership by going twice in one week. We stayed as long as we could before tears started and saw just about everything my children's ages would permit us. It was so much fun now that Greg could walk! I didn't have to take a stroller. Here are the photos of our last hurrah:
Charlotte climbed down the three story beanstalk-and didn't get stuck! That was a first.

Greg loved this ball toy. Put the balls in at the top and they ring some bells while falling to the bottom.

Charlotte loved to see these balls floating in the air from the jets below. Her hair is crazy in this photo because she had just been through the machine that makes your hair stand up with static electricity. (My science teachers are all cringing right now because I can't think of the name of that thing.)

Greg spent a lot of time at this wall of bubble mirrors. He thought it was very funny.

The sand table was really fun for both children. Bonus that Greg could reach it!

A great time was had by all and I was getting a little sad when we left the last time. Then yesterday I got a renewal email from the Magic House. What a wonderful gift! Thanks Grandma and Grandpa! We will love it all over again! When I told Charlotte about our membership she squealed and asked if we could go and I told her not until we get the new card.

We are very interested in the mail these days.

First of June

The first questions out of Charlotte's mouth today:

"It's June now?"

"Are Grandma and Grandpa here yet?"

She is clearly excited for any visits from familly.

Tidbits to Remember

I have a few stories I want to blog about, but after putting in a new garden today I just don't have the patience to upload the photos to the computer, then to blogger, then to write a story about them. It will come later.

What I want to do now is write down a few tidbits about how my children are now so I don't forget.

First Charlotte:

• We didn't (haven't) taken down the Happy Birthday banner from Greg's birthday. Last week she looked up at it from eating her breakfast and asked why we still have it up. I told her because I just haven't gotten to it yet. Then I asked her if she knew what it said wherein she told me, "Green H, White A, Red P, Blue P, Gold Y." I was very impressed.
• At her three year check-up she was 37 1/2" tall (25%) and weighed 33 1/2 lb (75%). What a cute little shortie.
• Charlotte makes up all sorts of pretend friends that hang around our house. This reminds me a lot of her cousin Travis and I love it.
• Charlotte is currently taking music classes at the Folk School of St. Louis for the summer. She loves them. She especially likes Sally the camel. And the egg shaker songs and games.
• Two weeks ago in the car she asks me, "Mom what does pitter patter mean?" This came out of nowhere so I gave it my best shot by saying, "It is the sound of little feet running along." Silence from the back seat, then, "Umm Mom? I think maybe it's the sound of rain maybe?" First reaction if you knew the answer then why did you ask the question? Then I realized one of the egg shaker games is the rain game where they match the volume and tempo of the teacher's guitar with their egg shakers while singing "pitter patter" until the teacher reaches the thunder and lightening.
• She loves the egg shaker games.

And now for Greg:

• At Greg's one year check-up he was 29 1/4" tall (25%) and weighed 22lb 3 oz (50%). Which means he gained about one pound from the time he was 4 months to the time he was a year. Sounds a lot like his daddy.
• When Greg walks he holds his hands above his head. Usually he is also opening and closing one of the hands.
• Greg plays with his hair. All the time. I used to think it was his ear, but now that his hair is a little thicker and longer he is always playing with it.
• One of the spindles from the banister broke a while back. It wasn't a big deal until Friday when Greg realized he could see Suzie below him through the hole and then I had to catch him by the leg before he fell. That opening is now tethered off until a more permanent solution can be found.
• Greg says, "Mama!" "DA!" "uh-oh" "Baa" (Ball) and his approximation of cracker, kitty cat, and dog.
• Tonight he also figured how to say "Mana" which is Mindy (aka his favorite person in the whole world right now).

7:25 AM

After a few weeks of having the ability to walk with zero motivation to try it Greg decided to join the world of bi-peds yesterday. It happened while I was doing my hair at 7:25 AM. He still falls down on his bum a lot, but walking is surely his favorite at the moment. You can see in his face that he's totally excited about the new trick he can do. Dan and I tried all day yesterday to get a video of it, but were totally unseccessful. Then this morning at the park...

We went to the park at 8:30 and by the time we left an hour later it was already 80 degrees!

The Pool That Daddy Bought

When it got hot here in March I wanted to buy a new pool for the kids. Dan wouldn't let me because the pools I was looking at were the small blow up kind. He said that Suzie, the cat, would pop them and we would just be wasting our money. He had a point. So I didn't buy one. We made do with storage bins with water in them as water tables. Then it got cold and it wasn't an issue.

We kept our eyes open and my friend told me they had the kind we were looking for at Walmart. We headed out and bought just exactly the pool Dan wanted. I was sure glad we had it on Saturday. Summer officially hit St. Louis with and 83 degree sunny and humid day. We spent the day out in our little pool.

Yes, the little pool has a slide! The water started out clean and clear, but there was so much re-applying of sunscreen it ended the day hazy. We emptied it.Greg kept trying to climb the slide and then slipping and face planting into the water. It didn't bother him enough to stop trying. I had to get into the pool to keep him from drowning.

Saturday was one of those magical times with my kids where life is good and you remember what it felt like to have summer last forever.

Oh The Worries

Last week I hurt my neck. Just like I hurt my neck at my cousin's wedding right after Charlotte was born. Turns out I hold my babies exactly the same way every time I pick them up and over time my neck gets hurt. That, and I tend to tense my muscles more than necessary. So when this happened I dug through the medicine shelf and found the muscle relaxer my OBGYN gave me last time this happened. After consulting my physician (Dan) I took one. It was supposed to last 6 hours.

It didn't.

I was out of it for a good 24 hours. It was rough. Try as I might my body was moving in slow motion. Not something I want to do again soon. Then again I don't want my neck to go into muscle spasms anytime soon either.

After the 24 hours was over though I realized that I felt Great. All my muscles were relaxed and my body suddenly wasn't revolting on me causing me pain. And that's when it hit me.

I'm a worrier and those worries have been building up for a while. What's funny is that mostly I don't really feel worried. It was only when I was forced to take a step back from the day to day grind that I realized I need to start doing something about it.

So my solution, instead of living on muscle relaxers which sounds a bit like torture to me, is to figure out my worries and stresses and find constructive ways to deal with them. As it turns out though, being a mom means you have worries and stresses. They come with the job title. I watched a Gerber commercial a few days after this incident that perfectly shows the messages moms receive every day. It talked about how what kids eat from birth to five changes their bodies for their entire life. Oh great! Let your kid eat a cookie now and they'll never live a long, healthy life. You better watch all their bites or you may ruin them! Now if that's not stress I don't know what is. Trivial, and yet not.

Oh! And add on top of the stresses and worries of motherhood the stresses and worries of being poor which we are. And you know what? There are some perks to being poor (hi WIC and Medicaid), but that doesn't take away all the stresses there are as well (hi WIC and Medicaid). Plus, our particular brand of poor (medical school) has it's own healthy serving of worry.

When I was in high school I would literally be unable to sleep because I was too stressed and worried about things. I'm fairly certain my parents seriously considered sending me to therapy. Though it never came to that. Now I think to myself, what on earth did I have to be worried about?

Please don't misunderstand me. This isn't complaining. I love my stresses, and my reasons to worry. I love my family and kids, I love my husband's efforts to an excellent career, and in a way, I also love being poor. It has ripped from me so very much of the pride I never knew I had. I am amazed at the things I will do because I love my kids. I just need to also allow myself to face the fact that these choices we've made, these things we are trying to do and accomplish, they're hard. If I don't I might just end up a cripple in need of a very long nap.

I also would like to acknowledge that many, many beautiful and wonderful women and mothers are much more able to handle their stress and worries, which are so very unique to each person. So the question I have is, what do you do with your stress? How do you identify it and manage it? One solution I am trying to implement is a spiritual one. I am trying to remember the importance of Alma 37:36-37

"Yea, and cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever.
"Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God"

I think that, along with drinking more water and eating less crap are good first steps.

It's a Miracle

In light of me not taking the little things for granted I chose to see my son making it to his first birthday as a miracle! He didn't kill himself! Or cause himself to be killed! Anyway, we're so happy he's in our family. In honor of his first birthday we had the pancake cake and he opened presents. Mostly that means that Charlotte opened his presents. But both were excited about the things inside.

Also as an afternoon treat (and instead of cake or cupcakes) I gave him a jello pudding cup. I did this for Charlotte too and liked it. That's about as much effort as I think a 1 year old needs.

Happy Birthday Little Guy!

Quick Quote

As heard coming from upstairs.

Dan: You need to get dressed.

Charlotte: I am.

Dan: Right, but you're just wearing panties. You need to wear something over them.

Up Before the Birds

The birds start chirping at 5:18 AM around our place. How about yours? Would you like to know how I know? Greg wakes up before them most days. Most days he starts making noise around 5 AM. Today he woke up with a scream at 4:45 AM. I can't even blame this on Dan because it's before he gets up for the day. I want this to stop, but I'm not sure how. Any ideas?

Here's what I've already done:

• He goes to bed at 7:30. I'm not willing to make it any later because I already pushed it back from 6:30 and that didn't change this issue.
• He has a room darkening shade. It isn't a blackout shade, but it does keep the room dark enough for nap time during the day.
• He's off pacifiers so it isn't that he's losing it because he doesn't use them.
• He takes great naps.
• He sleeps solidly from 7:30 until 5.
• We feed him a second dinner right before bed so he's not hungry. Plus, this morning I refused to nurse him right when he got up just to see if it was that and he calmed down without it.

Anyway, all advice is welcome, even if we don't use it.

History Lesson via Daddy's Quilt

Remember the NFL quilt that sneaked it's way onto our bed? Well, once it was on there it never really left. Except for in the summer when we only need one quilt on the bed. To which Dan replies that I'm crazy for wanting the AC on during the day and yet sleeping with a quilt on at night. I know I am, but at least I haven't turned on the AC right Dan? Right?

The other day Charlotte and I were cuddling in bed and she kept pointing to the pictures asking me about them. Some were easy, but others weren't. Call me crazy, but the logos have changed since before I was born. Plus, it looked like there were three different kind of pirates on that thing and I'm pretty sure there aren't three different NFL teams with pirate mascots. So I told her to just ask Daddy since it's his quilt anyway.

Sunday I'm in the bathroom doing my hair and Charlotte asks Daddy about the quilt. They spent a half hour talking about the quilt. Turns out that there's a lot of American history tied up in that quilt. All about the patriots, and the red skins (and how we don't call them that anymore). There was more, but I was only half listening. I learned that there are indeed two teams with basically pirates so at least I wasn't too far out of it.

Amazing what a quilt can do.

Just Because

Because it's Friday, and because every time I see this photo on my screen saver, and because I think it's so funny I thought I'd share it with all of you today.

When people say they worry about giving young girls Barbies because then the girls might think they want to be Barbie, I'm not sure this is what they have in mind.

Thoughts From Today

One way to know if you grew up in the pacific northwest is some of the thoughts that may enter your head on a day like today. If driving your car anywhere on a day that is 70 degrees and sunny gives you the uneasy feeling that you just might be killing baby seals somewhere then you know. Also, if your daughter is playing in the bathroom sink and you tell her to turn it off because she's "wasting resources" (like she even knows what resources are!) then you know.

Both of these thoughts sort of made me chuckle when they passed through my head today. Apparently growing up on the rainy side of the state did sway me a little.



Also, on a completely unrelated note I can not wait for Greg to start walking. This urgency isn't brought on by the fact that it's sort of average for babies to walk around now (and by the way, he is standing all on his own for a good minute at a time). Nor is it that he would be much happier if he could get around on two feet rather than crawl. It isn't even because all the clothing that is getting ruined by having him crawl through everything. I want him to walk so I can stinking stop having to carry the kid everywhere. He is heavy. My knees hurt, my hips hurt, my back hurts.

More Science

Because I can't stop bragging about my kids:

Yesterday Greg go a hold of my cell phone, that or I may have given it to him so he could be entertained while I did something else. You chose which one to believe. He opened it up and pushed buttons. Then he held it up to my face over my nose. Then he held it up to his face and started to make noises into it. Then he held it up to my face so I pretended to talk into it. Then he yelled out a belly laugh. It was so funny and fun to see him connect some everyday type things.

Also,

Last night Dan gave Charlotte a bath. Which means that she got to have lots of bath toys. I don't really let her have them because the length of bath time extends exponentially with every additional toy. Anyway, this is what I hear from the other room:

Charlotte: This ducky is floating, and this ducky is floating, and this ducky is floating, but this ducky isn't floating.

Dan: Yup.

Charlotte: Why do you think this ducky isn't floating?

Dan: Well, what do you think?

Charlotte: Well...maybe it has water in it maybe? (She really likes the word maybe)

Dan: I think you're right. How about you try getting the water out of it.

Silence

Charlotte: Now the ducky is floating!


If that isn't physics I don't know what is!

Messing Up A Science Experiment

About a month ago a mommy pigeon built a nest in our rain gutter. You could see it from my bedroom window upstairs. At first I wanted Dan to get it down. Then I decided that, although I loathe the pigeons in St. Louis, this one was a mommy and was going to hatch an egg and have a baby. This might be a good thing for Charlotte to experience. From behind the glass window. So I let the mommy and daddy build the nest.

Then the mommy pigeon sat. She sat and sat and sat. Charlotte would come check on her every day, multiple times a day.

Then one day the mommy pigeon was gone. She was gone and she'd left her egg. There it was, alone, abandoned. How do I explain this to Charlotte? What's worse is that she's read the book, "Are you my Mother?" about the dopey baby bird that hatches while his mommy is gone. So then she went to the window every morning to check on the egg. The poor little egg just laying there. She was so excited that she might get to see it hatch.

Great. Just great.

The good news was that in the last storm we had enough water in the rain gutter to float the little egg down the spout. Now it's gone. And she's convinced that the bird hatched and is now finding it's mommy. And I don't have the heart to try to tell her otherwise.

Tomatoes

Yesterday was our first tornado warning of the season. When the sirens went off we dutifully went downstairs to the basement, spread out a blanket, located the 72 hour kit, and waited for it to pass. Luckily we only had to stay down there for about 20 minutes. A few things I realized, we have to re stock the 72 hour kit. There's nothing in there for Greg. And also granola bars get eaten pretty quickly when you're just trying to get your kids to think you're having fun.

After a few minutes of listening to the weather radio Charlotte got really scared. I thought I'd done a pretty good job of being nonchalant about the whole thing, but I guess I failed miserably. When I asked her what the problem was she said, "I'm just scared of the tomato."

I ended up in the basement with both kids on my lap and Suzie, the cat, came and cuddled up right next to us.

Desitin isn't water soluble

This week is my week to host Charlotte's pre-school. I was actually looking forward to it because we do a lot of crafts when its my turn. After three years of teaching arts and crafts to 3-5 year olds that's my comfort zone. We had a good time.

After it was over we had one of her little friends stay over for lunch while her mom was at the doctor's office. I made lunch while the two of them played "sick person" upstairs. I thought to myself how awesome it is that my daughter is finally getting old enough that she plays with her friends. When lunch was ready I went upstairs to tell them to come down and found both of them putting on "lotion" which was actually desitin. A half tube of desitin was slathered over their two little bodies. Luckily that was the only thing they smeared it on.

Lesson learned: Never forget that there is always a consequence for a quiet stress free moment of getting something done by yourself.

Photos I Love

A few weeks ago I had the kids photos taken and I love them! Maren Johnson is a great photographer, especially with kids. She was great at getting Charlotte to relax (I'm sure it helps that she has kids about the same age). I would recommend her to everyone. Now I just have to decide which ones to get for our wall. Here are a few that I liked a lot.

Cheerleader

Today Dan left for Texas where he will be presenting a research study he did with the head of the ortho dept at his school. It will happen on Friday. Until then he gets to listen to all the other studies, and gets dinners and a hotel room and I'm sure is having a good time. It's almost like he's a real doctor. Wont that be great? When he's a real doctor? In like 7 years. Yeah, that'll be awesome.

In the mean time, I'm so proud of all that he is accomplishing along the way. Go Doctor Dan!

Bursting

I've had a hard time thinking of things to relate to anyone lately, even myself. I feel just a tiny bit like I've just got to put my head down and endure to the end of this school year. I was realizing the other day how I haven't really been noticing all the wonderful things I've got lately, but rather looking ahead, behind, and away to see great things. I really do love what I'm doing right now so I thought I'd take a note of a few things that bring me happiness.

A few nights ago I couldn't sleep. You know how sometimes you're exhausted, but your mind keeps going when your body says stop? That's what was happening, so I got up and went downstairs. Around midnight I heard Charlotte wake up and go into our room and ask for me. I heard nothing more after that so I figured Dan must have taken her back to bed. We never sleep with her in the bed. There is very little sleeping on every one's part when she's in there. After a while I realized that hearing nothing after that probably doesn't mean that Dan got up so I went upstairs to check things out. She had decided to just crawl into my side of the bed and since she wasn't bothering Dan he didn't even fully wake up. I decided to just snuggle on in with her. I lay there in the quiet of the night with my little girl cuddled up next to me and my husband sleeping heavily on the other side of the bed. At that moment I was bursting with the love I have for each of them. It calmed me completely down and as soon as I put her back to bed I was ready to fall asleep.

The second story is about how I start my day each day. It starts with Greg crying. I wish it didn't and it didn't used to and I'm sure it wont when he's adjusted to the no pacifier, but for now, it starts with tears. But after I go get him I bring him into bed with me to nurse him. He happily snuggles right up to me and we sleep and cuddle and wake up together. While I'm doing that usually Charlotte comes into the bed with us. Then comes the golden time of the day. Both children are awake and happy and I have the ability to relax and just play with them. Greg crawls all over us and the bed and Charlotte makes up stories about what we're pretending to do. The sun is golden, the moment is golden, my life is golden.

Just Like His Sister

Greg tries to do everything that he sees his sister doing. Today we visited Daddy at school where he was studying. We met outside and did a small circut of the fountains on the med school campus. Dan was holding Greg's hands so he could walk. Charlotte trotted on ahead of us and then decided to "practice her exercises" which today means she was jumping. Greg stopped walking and bent over trying to figure out how she was doing it. He was unsuccessful.

There has been one thing he's successfully copied his sister in doing. When she was about his age she reached up and ripped a key off the keyboard of our laptop. We tried to fix it, but it was just a function key, which was seldom used so we didn't try that hard. Eventually my mom visited us and used her super powers of fixing things (because mom's have those super powers) and fixed it.

Greg has torn off the enter key.

My mom's coming in June.

Not sure if I can wait that long.

Answer

All the answers to the question were very good, but none of them were right. Today is day three of a pacifier free zone in the Whiting house. Day one was rough. Day three seems to be fine though. We're still working through things, but he seems to be doing well and still taking pretty good naps. I think it helps that I'm running him down to the ground before I put him down for a nap, but either way he seems to be transitioning fine.

At first I was really nervous about this. It's a hard thing to give up something that seems to stop tears in an instant. It isn't a hard thing to give up something that wakes you up roughly 3 times a night though.

Thanks for all the participation. Better Luck next time.

Pop Quiz

Any ideas on how you turn this:
Into this:

Bonus points for the first correct answer.

He's Totally Right....And I Hate It

Last Saturday Greg crawled off the edge of the top of our stairs. The only thing that kept us from a trip to the ER was me pushing Charlotte over and grabbing him by is ankle before his plummet. The same fall that one of Charlotte's friends took that sent her to the ER. I've been telling Dan we need to install a mounted baby gate at the top of our stairs for a couple of weeks now since Greg has been able to crawl with some proficiency, but we've both just sort of procrastinated the issue. After that incident there was no procrastination in my mind. I talked and talked and talked about going to get a new one. Then Dan said we shouldn't go get a new baby gate. We need to use the one we have in our basement. The one we have in our basement we used in our apartment to gate off the entire landing at the top of the stairs. Its metal and heavy and it doesn't mount into anything. It wont mess up the woodwork. It was perfect for our old apartment, but I was convinced that it wouldn't work at the top of the stairs. The feet are too big. It will block the door to the toy room. Charlotte wont be able to use it. I wanted what I had in my mind as the perfect solution. I complained and complained until he brought the thing up and set it up.

It's too big and clunky. In order for it to fit at the top of the stairs it has to go into the toy room and push the table at the top of the stairs away. It isn't perfect. My first reaction was, "I hate it." I stewed. Then I realized that to buy a baby gate new will be expensive. Charlotte probably wont be able to work it anyway and we'd be making holes in the wood work in our house. So I fixed the part that Charlotte wont be able to control and moved a few things around and now I have to tell everyone.

Dan was totally right. This baby gate will be what we need for the landing. Plus, it keeps Greg from falling down the stairs so I guess I don't really hate it.

Connections

My husband's family has a family history book published. Its a hardcover red book and goes back around 6 generations. It's got photos and stories and all sorts of amazing stuff. Stuff that I've never read. Dan gets it off the shelf every so often and reads all of us a story that is usually pretty interesting, but other than that I never really paid much attention to it. That is until the other night.

When Dan's brother and sister-in-law were here they brought the book down and we all just looked through the photos one night after the kids went to bed. When we got to the part that focused on our part of the family we saw a photo that shocked me. I always knew that Charlotte looked like Dan. I never have thought that Dan looked a lot like his father. When I saw this photo all of that changed though.

In the family group shot Grandpa Craig was a little boy being held by someone. He looked exactly like Charlotte. All you would have to do is put curly hair on him and it would be Charlotte. It was amazing. And a real reminder that my kids need to know about both sides of the family.

Loving My Family

I guess I shouldn't be amazed about all the things that I learn from the simple experience of being part of a family. Here's another one to remember. I always knew my aunts and uncles loved me growing up. There was no doubt in my mind because they were there in the family before I was and waiting for me with open arms when I came into the world. I never had the experience of adding on aunts and uncles until much later (Hi Aunt Sue!) and it was awesome.

You know what else is awesome? Being the aunt. It is amazing! When I married my husband his brothers and sisters already had kids so I wasn't there to greet my nieces and nephews into the family with open and loving arms. At first I thought this would be awkward and uncomfortable to suddenly be an aunt to so many. Thoughts kept flying through my head. How could I possibly feel the love that I know my aunts had for me? These are kids, big kids, I don't know all that well. At least I am around for the youngest niece to be born. I have a chance to give that to her.

This week my husband's brother and wife are in town with three of their kids and I learned something about myself. It doesn't matter that they were part of the family before me. I love them so very much. Somewhere along the line they went from strangers to dearly, dearly loved children (and the same goes for my brother and sister-in-law). I tried to contain my enthusiasm to get them to come here while they were deciding their spring break plans. The night before they got here I barely slept with excitement. And I will bend over backwards to make them happy if I can. And I will buy a $3 soda at the zoo if I know it will help them enjoy it more. I love their laughs, and smiles. I love how when they wake up in the morning with my daughter all four of them practically burst out the bedroom door.

I also learned that I feel this way about all the family that I married into. I love them all so dearly and fiercely. Yes, there are still differences in personalities that we have to work through, but that doesn't diminish all the love I have for all of them. I look forward to when I get to see them and I'm disappointed when opportunities are missed. I am continually amazed at how boundless the love a person can cultivate within themselves seems to be.

I'll Have To Reminder Her Later

Today while letting Charlotte help me clean the bathroom:

Me: You are such a good helper! Thank You.

Charlotte: Uh huh.

Me: I should have you help me clean the bathroom all the time. What do you think?

Charlotte: I think that's a good idea.

You can't back out now! Hahahahaha!

Spring Inspiration

In case you are living where it might still be cold or snowing I thought I'd post a few photos I've taken recently so you can get a little spring inspiration!
This is the new garden in the front of our house. The back row is white azaelas then the purple rhodedendrons. I planted calladium bulbs just in front of them that obviously aren't up yet. Then there are the tulips I planted last fall and the day lillies I transplanted from behind the house. Right in the front are some blue star creeper. Clearly I like to plant things in rows rather than grouping. I guess that's something I'll have to work on.

Her are the front steps that Greg learned to climb up. We took out the pipe handrails and put in dwarf rhodedendrons in the same purple as the ones up top. The two rocks we acquired from the neighbors and around them is the blue star creeper again.

This is Charlotte at the Botanical Gardens. It was a lovely day and we got to see all the daffodils, hyacinth, and some tulips and pansies.

Here's Charlotte with the Easter Bunny. Despite this photo she really did enjoy the experience. It would have looked much better if I had been able to get her looking at the camera.

Mandolin

Yesterday I went to my mandolin lesson and I just wanted to let everyone know that it is awesome. I have loved every minute of it. I think its funny because this time around I'm not trying to avoid practicing, but instead trying to find time to practice. I wait until the kids are in bed and then I'm trying to make sure I get at least a half hour in a day. Chord practice is slow going but I can tell I'm starting to figure things out and its great.

Also, I put in the main garden in the front of our house and it looks stunning! Well, I think it does. It was a lot of work because I had to haul buckets of dirt from the back yard into the huge hole that was left after Dan moved our hydrangea last fall. I was doing it in the morning while the kids sat on the sidewalk eating cinnamon life. Or at least that's what I thought was happening. I looked up after about 8,000 trips (because Dan says we don't need a wheel barrow) and noticed that my son was no longer on the sidewalk. He was now on the concrete landing in front of our house. I asked Charlotte about it and she said, "He climbed up the stairs maybe?" She was sitting right there. How could she not know what happened? Also, that was the first time he climbed stairs. That's right. The first time my son climbed stairs they were concrete with nobody around to catch him if he fell. But he didn't fall. And my garden looks great.

And Now I'm Red

After dinner tonight Dan and I took the kids to Lowe's to purchase something for the garden in the front of our house. We may not do much, but we do need something. Plus, my husband always has an eye for a bargain and they were selling azaleas in one gallon pots for under $2. Can't pass that up. As we're walking around looking at everything, because who goes to the garden section and doesn't look at all the plants, and I'm concentrating on some very pretty, fairly cheep ground cover, Greg is arching his back turning his head and leaning away toward the person next to me. I guess I'm too used to shopping during the day because I absent mindedly say to him, "Are you just trying to check out that lady next to us?" No response from Greg or the lady. So I look up and see a man. A very large, very full bearded man standing right next to us. So what do I say? "I mean the man." He was a good sport about it and said that was the funniest thing that had happened to him that day, but I was sure embarrassed.

24 hours

I don't remember if I mentioned my banning of treats, candy and baked goods in our home about a month ago? I got so fed up with Charlotte not eating meals, that I went through our house and threw all of the sweets away. I also declared to the family that no new treats were to enter our home for a month and set the end date as Charlotte's birthday (because how can you not have a birthday cake?). Well, we didn't quite make it to her birthday because Dan got me starburst jellybeans for my birthday which we celebrated on Monday night. Then yesterday we made cookies that were intended for Charlotte to take to Joy School today (which we forgot). Turns out Charlotte didn't eat lunch today. Well, let me amend that. She ate one bite of sandwich. One bite. Then half an hour later she said she was hungry and asked for a popsicle and a cookie. I swear that kid has a memory for treats!

And as for me this was certainly and eye opener. I didn't realize how hard it would be to not make baked goods. We must have never had a night without them because every night after the kids got in bed I felt the urge to eat brownies, cookies, cake, chocolate, anything. But since we didn't have anything I couldn't.

So now the question is that of balance. How much do I allow in our home? When its here there is the contant fight not only to keep myself from eating it, but also my children. Dan has such amazing self control about this sort of thing so it doesn't seem to bother him one way or the other.

The Winds of Change

I can't believe that things seem to be changing so much lately. The health care bill was passed and that is going to seriously change things in our family's future. (And if you think I'm getting into that discussion on this public blog, you're crazy.)

Also, match day was last week. In case you are like most of the world, and you don't know what match day is I'll try to explain succinctly. After the four years of undergrad you do you apply to medical school. After the four years of medical school you have anywhere from 3 to 7 years of residency. (I think Dan's is going to be in the 5 year neighborhood.) Obviously based on what specialty you're going into your residency will be set up differently. Also, sometimes you do a 1-2 year fellowship at the end of it. You have to apply for residency much like you have to apply for medical school. The only difference, it seems to me, is that at each new level of learning the competition to get into it gets more and more difficult. You apply to however many programs you think you need to and you do away rotations (which means you work at their program for a month) to those you're really interested in and then you wait to do interviews. After all that working and interviewing comes the waiting game. You list the places you'd like to go and the places list the people they want and they're matched together. So the match day is when you find out where you got in (or if you got in). It's a very big deal. This year wasn't our year to go through the match, but next year is. It was a roller coaster to just watch the families that were going through. YIKES. Plus now I'm watching as those families pack up and put their houses on the market and work and work and work and I'm thinking, "That'll be me in a year."

Also, tomorrow I've got an honest to goodness three year old. She's three! How on earth did that happen? Three years ago she was nothing but a big rolling ball inside me and now she walks and talks. She has opinions and preferences that she tries her best to impose. Like this morning when she went to the grocery store in her pajamas because I wasn't going to fight that fight today. Or yesterday when she took a shower by herself and then got dressed by herself and came into my room with all her clothing sticking to her body because she did not dry herself. She notices things and says the most amazing stuff. She is smart and funny and gentle and kind and how on earth did she get so big? How how how?

Also, Greg moves. I put him down on the rug by our sofa this morning then ran upstairs to get a diaper. By the time I got back downstairs he had made it to the bottom step. Can anyone say babygate? He is funny and interacts with people and loves life. He's getting so brave at trying new things. Pretty soon he's going to be a toddler walking along all on his own.

Happy Birthday To Me

Last weekend the kids and I got out of Dodge and went on a women's retreat with my family. It was so much fun and I had a great birthday. Charlotte loved all the attention she was paid and Greg learned so many new little things. He now waves hi to people and can pull up on his own. Tonight Dan made me pancake cake for dinner and we had our little family celebration. Then Thursday is Charlotte's birthday, then it's time for Easter. This spring is off to a big start.

Things to remember

I just thought I'd write down a few things I don't want to forget.

The other day Greg was pulling himself up on the coffee table and slipped. Charlotte came over, picked him up (terrifying) and said, "Here you go Mr. Chubbers." Which is a nick name that his father gave him and I disapprove of, but it seems to have stuck in her mind.

When I introduced myself during my first mandolin lesson (which was amazing by the way) one of the other students said, "A red head named Maggie. That will be easy to remember."

Someone had forgotten to flush the toilet in a public restroom. Charlotte looked into it and scrunched up her nose. She pointed down to it and said to me, "Look. Eww. Isgusting." I didn't know she even knew the word disgusting.

Greg has graduated from army crawl to something else entirely that has no official name, but he seems to get around just fine. He has also decided that its OK to cruise along furniture if, and only if, there is the possibility of making a huge mess somewhere along the line. Yes, my friends he is now and undo-er.

Dear March,

Did you know that I love you? Well, don't feel bad, I was unaware of it previous to this year as well. But this year I have noticed more of all the lovely things you give and do for me. Sure, you "come in like a lion" and there may still be days of rain and (I shudder to think) snow, but there are also glorious days. Days wherein my children and I spend 3 hours in our backyard. You gave me that. You helped me to see the creativity and imagination that my almost three year old has. She doesn't need much more than a board, a couple of old bricks and a big ball to entertain her. Sure everytime we go to Sam's club she sees the $800 play structure and says she wishes she could buy it. I would feel bad, but for the knowledge of her running around without a thing in the backyard. You gave that to me. Thank you.

You know what else you give me, oh lovely March? Not only did you give me crocuses that have come and gone, but daffodils, tulips, resurrection lillies, and the first signs of growth on the hydrangeas, and mums. There is life and joy returning outside. I can tell because the birds have come back too. Aren't they wonderful, March? I knew you'd think so.

In March we get to escape the house, which means escaping the never ending chores that pile around me to see the sun! Oh the sun! March gives you the first signs that the sun is going to warm the days. I love to go outside, even when it's not quite warm enough, and just let myself feel the sun in March.

And most importantly, March, you have given me Charlotte. That most wonderful of gifts. I glory in her awesomeness. Even when she spends two nights throwing up, which she did just the past two nights, she's still so funny and smart and amazing. Thank you March.

Sincerely Yours,
Maggie

Finally Starting to Make Sense

For the past month I have been worried. Very worried. I worried so much that I convinced myself it had happened by mistake. I knew I was pregnant. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. Never mind that I'm still breastfeeding and taking the mini pill.

So I checked.

I'm not.

Which was a relief, but did not explain what I had been feeling. What I was feeling was tired. Tired and hungry. Tired and hungry all the time.

Today Greg and Charlotte had their iron tested. Charlotte is fine, but Greg's iron is too low. I was given some information about what to have him eat, but of course as you all know he's only eating breast milk, bananas, and cheerios so there goes that advice. Actually we have been sucessful at getting him to eat meats lately which is exciting. Then the lady said, "You should probably increase your iron levels so he gets more from you."

I told this to some friends over lunch today while complaining about how Greg has recently also decided to nurse more lately. And I'm not sure how I didn't see this all before my friends pointed it out to me. I'm nursing more, which explains the hunger, and probably need more iron myself, which would explain the fatigue. Sometimes I think I would fall apart if other people didn't help to keep me together.

I finally Got It

Well, after looking for a month and then procrastinating for two months I finally bit the bullet and bought a new battery charger for my camera. Greg has reached the really exciting phase where I can take photos of him actually doing things and Charlotte is always in love with the camera. It was making me sad to not take any photos of my kids. So I excitedly anticipated the arrival of the new battery charger and promised myself to take tons of photos that very day of my adorable children to share with everyone that came to my blog.

The charger arrived just in time to take these:

I case you were wondering. Yes that, conjunctivitis. In both eyes. In both children.

My new favorite number

I never used to know what to say when people asked my favorite number. I never felt really attached to any number in particular, but today I found my two new favorite numbers.

Eleventeen

Twelveteen

Those are the best two numbers around.

On a completely unrelated note I realized that I've shared stories about each of the members of my house but me. I thought I'd include a few tidbits about myself. First, I will be starting Mandolin lessons this Thursday which also coincides with Dan's Boy Scouts so we will be having some interesting scheduling for about a month. It doesn't matter though because I'm super excited.

Second, I realized that I have a ton of hair the other day. My friend's husband came up to me at church and told me that their vacuum was losing suction. When he turned it over to investigate he found it totally clogged with my hair. I've never done that before, but I guess I spend enough time there it makes sense.

Where Do I Even Begin?

Two days ago I took my kids to the mall to play on the toys at the mall. Why does Charlotte love that so much? The toys are so dumb, but she loves it so I try to indulge.

We went with a friend and her little boy so my car was full. As my friend and I are chatting down the interstate we are suddenly interrupted by full out wailing from Greg. He doesn't really do that very often so I was very alarmed.

"Why is Greggie crying?" I try to get out over the cries.

"He's sad," Charlotte responds.

"Why?" I ask.

"I stuck the keys too far into his mouth," is her very logical answer.

WHAT?! Where did the keys come from? Why isn't the pacifier in his mouth? Where did you put that? And most importantly, why did you put the keys in his mouth? All of those questions must have come out in one big angry sounding jumble because Charlotte's answer to them was to burst out in tears (like she does for everything lately). So there we are careening down the interstate me confused and worried he'd been stabbed, Charlotte hurt feeling and crying and Greg screaming. I did some serious calming down for everyone and Greg turned out to be fine. We went to the mall and played and a good lesson was learned. We only use keys on doors.

Is He Really Old Enough For This?

Our powers of creativity and problem solving have really had to come into play while feeding Greg lately. He's decided he doesn't like baby food anymore. When this happened with Charlotte we sort of had a household sigh of relief because she just started eating what we ate. We can't really do that with Greg because much of what we eat has diary in it. (Did I mention his allergy appointment isn't until August? A little perturbed about that. I'm so not breastfeeing for 15 months.) Another little hitch in the feeding plan is that the only finger food that he will pick up and eat is cheerios. All other food needs to be big enough for him to hold in his hand and bite off of. That's tricky when you only have four teeth.

The other night we gave him peas (some frozen, some cooked) for dinner because he used to like to pick them up and eat them. Not that night. He didn't throw a fit or fling them anywhere. He just sat in his high chair grabbing them and stuffing them in the seat of the high chair. He had this look on his face like he was being so sneeky and we wouldn't know that the hoards of peas in the seat meant he didn't eat any.

So it looks like my son is going to live off of breastmilk, cheerios and bananas for a while now.

Gummy Bag

Dear readers, I have a story to tell. It starts out in Joy School, the co-op preschool my daughter and I are doing. Joy school has been very good for Charlotte, but this last unit, on order and goal striving, has been awesome for everyone in the family (read: me). For some reason these lessons have really hit home, especially about order. Put everything in it's place. And do you want to know why it has hit home for her?

The Gunny Bag.

This is a fictitious character created by the people that made up Joy School. Every home has a Gunny Bag that lives in a closet or the attic or some out of the way place that comes out during down times and likes to eat toys that are left out! There's even a couple of songs that go along with it. (And thanks to this lesson I go around cleaning the house with them stuck in my head. For three days!)

When explaining this to the girls I had purposefully left out a few toys and then had the homemade gunny bag eat them. The girls understood, but Charlotte wasn't too happy. Apparently I had chosen wrong and the Gunny Bag ate a beloved dollar store doll. Later the Gunny Bag told me that he thought the doll was yucky and didn't want it in his tummy. The Gunny Bag does occasionally give toys back, but if he eats them twice they're gone for good. When I explained this Charlotte was much happier with the idea of the "Gummy Bag." (She must have misheard, but I think Gummy Bag is funnier than Gunny Bag so I'm not going to correct her.)

All day the next day Charlotte went around our house saying, "We don't want the Gummy Bag to eat this." And then would put it away!

Then, silly mommy, left the Gunny Bag out instead of putting it away and do you want to know what that little smartie did? She tore the eyes off the Gunny Bag. When I asked her why she would do that she said, "Then he can't see my toys left out."

Such a problem solver.

PS. Daddy told her that the Gunny Bag can smell the toys left out. There's not getting around the Gunny Bag. Also, now if I say, "Is your room in order?" she will go around putting all her stuff away. Isn't that amazing?

Shining Armor

I am so grateful for my husband right now. I had a great day today and then around 3:30 I just lost steam. I taught Joy School this morning and then a friend came over and we had a blast, but for some reason I've just been losing energy around that time of day for the last week or so. I've actually taken naps, which is something I haven't done in months. Hopefully I snap out of this soon because my house is in ruins and my kids weren't the happiest of children and it was mostly (all) my fault.

Dan came home and put Greg to bed and then started the dishes while I read stories to Charlotte. (I totally got the better end of that deal, don't you think?) He is still in there doing dishes and I am so thankful to have a husband that does so much service for my kids and me. We are so blessed.

To Celebrate

Dan's out taking his test for the surgical rotation and guess what I just got to celebrate?

Two tickets to the PBR which is in town this weekend. We heard about it being in town two days ago and I could see that Dan perked up at the idea, but as we all know if I left it up to him we wouldn't be going. He needs more than three days to process spending money unexpectedly.

I can't wait to surprise him! I'm sure he'll love it.

Jammie Time

Without going into the details, Charlotte and I had an all out test of will powers tonight for about an hour and a half. How exhausting sometimes! But on a bright note, I won.

And tomorrow is Dan's test for the surgical rotation and we can close the book on the last two months!

$5.19

That is apparently how much money it takes to buy an evening of happiness in my family.

Yesterday every plan I made fell through so I spent the entire day thinking about what we were going to do next.

By 3:30 I was wishing it was dinner time, so I decided to start making dinner.

The kids and I ate dinner and were done by 5:15.

There may or may not have been a whole lot of crying involved on everyone's part.

By 5:27 we had made our way to the St. Louis Bread Co.

Charlotte had a brownie and Greg and I ate a cinnamon crunch bagel bread sliced and we all shared a milk. It was so very expensive, but also brought so much sanity.

Dan came home at 6:22 to a happy family with two kids playing in the tub instead of a screaming, crying, sad family that he had to pick up the pieces of.

I'd say it was money well spent.

Cutest Thing Ever

Tonight was my night to put the Bear to bed. She had previously taken a nap today and I knew she'd be up a little late. So we watched a little of the Olympics. While watching the Olympics she got bored and I got sleepy. I fell asleep right as Dan asked if she wanted to do something with him. She responded she wanted to play the monster game. I fell asleep before finding out what the monster game is. He ended up playing the game then getting her ready for bed, reading her library books and then tucking her into bed. She wouldn't go to bed without a goodnight kiss from me, which though very gentle, woke me up. A good thing I think because then I got to see what the monster game was. I wish I had my camera so I could show all of you, because apparently the monster game was taking turns drawing monsters. Taped to our foyer wall is a paper and amongst the scribbles on the page are two very clear monsters, one Daddy drew and one Charlotte drew. (The first time she's actually drawn something that I can pick out.) Quite possibly the best part of my week this week.

A New Phase

Charlotte has entered on a new phase of life (read: trying to get her way). She has started completely melting down everytime she doesn't get her way. It isn't the angry shrieking. It's the heartbroken sobs. Sometimes she just starts crying for no reason I can decipher and I don't know how to help her (read: make it stop!).

Yesterday was our first trip to church without Daddy and boy did she take advantage of it. I had to pull her out of the chapel no less than 5 times in a one hour period.

Also, she gets inordinately angry when another child does something that she doesn't like. Apparently she is the boss of her world and anyone just living in it is ruining everything.

I'm at a loss. And also at the end of caring. This too shall pass, right? Right?!

Doctor's Visit

Today was Greggie's nine month check up. Turns out he's healthy and average and just what a baby should be. We got a referral to an allergist for the whole my son is turning into an oompa loompa episode. His stats are as follows:

Height: 27 1/2" 25%
Weight: 20 lb 15 oz 50-75%

So average weight, but kinda short. The weight thing is funny I think because that means he's actually lost weight. I guess it's his frantic efforts to get himself mobile that has made a difference.

Light A Fire

I figured out how to get the cashier at the grocery store check you out at lightening speed. Have your very sick looking almost three year old turn to you and say, "Poo poo Mommy. I need to go now Mommy." To which you frantically look at the half checked out produce and say, "You'll need to hold it until we pay for our food."

Works like magic.

Endurance

About a month ago the woman who coordinates music for our church services asked me if I'd be willing to play a special musical number on my violin for the third Sunday of the month. I agreed happily. After having played the violin for so many years it seems a shame to me to not really have it be a part of my life. It is after all something that I really do love.

I decided that although I could play a song that I already had, I wanted to stretch myself and get something new. Nothing too hard though since I haven't really seriously played in years. I got a piece of music based on a hymn that I love and started practicing. I feel I have learned so much with this process.

Just opening my case reminds me of high school. I spent so very much of my day playing that violin during high school. At least three hours everyday. It is jarring to be so rusty and awkward with something that used to be so familiar. I have spots on the case that I have worn through the fabric and spots on the fingerboard that are worn where my hand shifted up and down. I can remember losing the small decorate pieces of wood on the tuning pegs. I feel like I am going through a treasure hunt of old memories. (I like to pick only the good ones though. Do you do that too?)

Now I can only practice for half an hour before my shoulder, arm and wrist start telling me they've had it. I picked an arrangement that at one time I could have easily played after practicing a couple of times and now I've spent weeks and I still don't feel quite comfortable with everything. Oh it will sound fine, but I want it to sound smooth, and relaxing, and wonderful. I want it to reflect how I feel when I think of the words of that song. I want it to sound like the glassy top of a lake the first thing in the morning.

I don't know if I can come up with anything deep in the meaning of this, but it has been a very touching process for me. Like coming home again.

The Positive Post

Today has been a good day. Crazy, but good. I thought I'd post about some other things I think are good. (No ammount of storytelling could make the story of this day interesting.)

• Putting the last load of laundry in the dryer
• My son's dimple. I think it's funny that he only has one.
• My daughter's curly hair. I am so in love with it, even when she does look like a swamp witch.
• Sleeping in until 7:30. Isn't that extra hour glorious?
• Watching TV with my husband. We haven't had much time for this lately. Actually what we do right now is more like me watching TV while he studies or sleeps, but I count it.
• The ridiculously bad job I did cutting my husbands hair this last time. He doesn't even notice how uneven the thing is!
• My friends here in St. Louis who know exactly what I'm going through, because they're doing it too. It feels so great to be understood.
• Peeling up linoleum tiles on my stairs. It's a great job for in the winter, very warm.
• Ladies lunches
• Goodie plates
• Dog Parks in Denver. You've never seen a dog park until you see a dog park in Denver. I don't even have dogs and I was jealous.
• Cinnamon bagles from The St. Louis Bread Co cut like bread.
• The sick run, which is something I found out about while visiting my sister in Denver. Whenever someone is sick her husband runs to the store to buy any medication, treats, and entertainment they might need. Charlotte came out of the thing with two new books, teddy grahams, goldfish, and saltines. She was in heaven.
• My daughter's 3 year old type comments from the back seat. "Sometimes I cry and it's OK."
• The musical sounds my family make when Daddy comes home from a good day at work.

Happy Friday.

Medical Exchange

Why is it that the only times I really feel like I need to call my pediatrician are either late in the night or on Wednesdays, which also happen to be when the office is closed? Turns out that for most of those situations, not calling ended up being the best mode of action because time worked everything out just fine.

Not today.

Today was my first time in almost three years (can you believe that Charlotte is almost three?) that I've felt the need to call the medical exchange. The medical exchange is a very good thing because they'll connect you with your doctor or another doctor in the group that will answer your urgent questions. Today I had an urgent question.

Don't ask me why or how this happened, but somehow Charlotte's left over mini wheats ended up in the hands of Gregory. When I had seen that this happened, I didn't worry because I figured they were pretty soggy and he wouldn't choke. Then I looked a little closer and noticed that not only was he eating them, he was rubbing them all over his face. Or was it trying to wipe them off his face? I wasn't sure. I picked him up and went to wash his face off when I noticed red blotchy skin everywhere the milk had touched him. I wasn't too worried at first, but I decided to give him a bath and call Daniel. Dan didn't answer his phone. While Greg was in the tub his face went slightly puffy and bumpy. Meanwhile he's trying to wipe any and everything off his face and his eyes are going pink. I could tell that if he could talk he would be saying, "Get it off! Get it off!"

So I called the medical exchange. Greg wasn't having any trouble breathing so his pediatrician just told me to give him a half teaspoon of benedryl. I did and he ended up being fine, but it looks like he may need to do a little allergy testing sometime in his future.

Finally

It took me two hours and an online chat with Randy, the hp technical support guy, and my new best friend, but I can now print things from my new laptop! Yeah! After the page printed and I professed my unending love for Randy, he started explaining what was wrong so I stopped reading what he wrote. The kicker here is that I'm the computer savvy person in my marriage. Makes you nervous, doesn't it.

February

My kids have been sick for almost two weeks now. Yesterday Greg cried/howled so much that he made himself hoarse. I'm feeling a little low on the energy levels and enthusiasm. I was feeling a bit bad about all this, but then I was able to talk to a few friends. As it turns out the February blues seem to be going around. I thought I'd let all of you in on this in case you're feeling a bit similar. You're not alone. So let's all perk up a bit and make a goal. Let's all make it through February in one piece.

Here's hoping your February is going better than ours.

Inspiration

There was a very rude lady bagging groceries in the lane next to mine today. Because of what she said about me I was very embarrassed.

It has taught me to be a little more patient with people and with waiting my turn in line. And also that when I'm past this phase in my life, I will try my best to remember what this phase was like. I will try to always be the woman that stops to tell young mothers how beautiful their kids are. I will tell women who are nine months pregnant that they look tiny. When I'm in the grocery store I will stand behind the young mom, who is trying to go her fastest and get her child home to nap time, which he sorely needs. I will make cute faces at that child and play with that child and get that child to smile. Because as we all know, smiling babies make the world a better place.